Dandy

Hi everyone. I posted a few months back regarding a guy at work who has Aspergers and the best way to develop a friendship with him. After some very good advice from people on here I'm glad to say things have gone very well. There's been some trial and error involved but I've learnt some of his signals and things have very gradually become easier. We're not exactly best pals but I think we're "buddies". There is one thing that is causing problems though and that is his routine (hence the title of this topic). He keeps very odd hours which make any sort of socialising very difficult. For him things happen at set times on set days and they conflict with any free time I might have. Even his sleep pattern is out of sync with mine. At the moment things are very predictable, we do the same thing on the same day at the same time and have our own little routine. You could basically say I'm slotted in for 1 and a half hours one day a week. I know He will never want to go to town with me for a drink, he will never want to catch a train and go for a day out and that's fine. I also understand he may have a need for routine and structure in his daily life and his routine might be important. But small things like coming over to my place to have some pizza and watch a movie or meeting at his to play on his XBox all seem out of the question because they conflict with his routine I might be making a fuss over nothing here but I'd like to know if I should gently push to try to get him to alter his plans a little or accept this is just the way things are and will always be.

That's very helpful. My friend has even given me the perfect opportunity, i have just started playing a game that he has played for ages and he has said its possible for new players to buddy up with experienced players over the internet. I might suggest we try it. This game is a real passion of his so sharing would give a good starting point.

Hi everyone. There is a guy at work who to begin with I thought was just very shy and a little awkward. He would come into where I was working and sort of hang around, make a few brief comments and then leave. At first I thought he was trying to get one of the young pretty girls who work there with me to notice him. When I mentioned this to them they said he only ever came around when I was there and rarely when I wasn't. The next time I saw him I decided to try talking to him. He responded but it was obvious he wasn't comfortable but he was trying. He continued to come over though and After a few weeks he became more and more at ease making small talk with me. One day I mentioned how I loved to play computer games and before I knew it we were having an in depth conversation about what games we both like to play and what we thought was the best one etc. I'd never seen him so talkative, after that day talking became much easier for him. After a few more weeks we had started walking home together and he told me he had Aspergers and didn't really get on with people and didn't have any friends. I'm not sure what it was about me that made him want to talk but if there is something I do understand its loneliness. Looking back I can see he had been trying to make a connection but I simply didn't realise. I'm happy to be his friend and I've done some research so I know a little about Aspergers and the social issues it can cause. I'm not sure what's the best way to go about things though. I know he hasn't had much experience in socialising and I feel like he is waiting for me to take the lead but because he doesn't give much away I could have it wrong and he just wants someone In work to talk to. An outsiders thoughts would be very welcome.

Thanks, I will go to the help and advice forum

Hi everyone. I'm starting here first because I wasn't sure if these forums are for people on the spectrum only of if neuro typical people in need of advice on autism and Aspergers are welcome to post as well??