OniKai

I feel the same way, I know why I reach a state of depression so why should I take meds for it when I can try to eliminate the causes without any side effects, well unless you count murder as a side effect when dealing with certain individuals. =P

I feel for him and relate, he probably got aggressive towards you because you're the closest person to him, we often let our emotions spill out onto the ones we love the most, that goes for everyone. But I can relate to a horrible school life, it sounds to me like your son is dying inside, all the years of negativity have probably caused him immense irreparable damage, I'm 29 and if I think of school, I'm still filled with murderous rage, the guy has probably given up and he deserves better. It's far to easy to start to hate society when you don't fit, I just hope he gets the help he deserves and doesn't end up in prison because he loses himself.

My main concern is this email he wants and what I should put in it, he wants to know why I feel it is unfair but I just don't know where to start, and I know if I start to win blackmail will come up with threatening to make me go back to working 12 hours on the week end shifts and I hate being alone at work on the week ends...

Most drugs take a few months before your system adjusts to them, but personally I avoid taking prescription drugs for mental health, I feel like it's too much guess work and not enough science, I've been on medication in the past but now I avoid it like the plague, I swear I've had a mild seizure on mental health meds, my vision lit up all purple and flashy and I lifted my arm to my eyes to find out that it wasn't receiving the correct signals as I smacked myself in the forehead. other than that I found it impeded my sex drive and made me even more detached and less interested in human interaction and contact than normal, that and I find an increase in rage. Chances are if you're just feeling sleepy it will pass down the line, if not consult your doctor and tell him your struggling on the medication.

I will keep this updated as I've had enough and need to take some form of action and they know I'm on the spectrum but they don't think it's their duty to learn anything about it, I'm rubbish at explaining Aspergers as I only just found out I had it diagnosed in school, so I don't quite understand it myself. And I feel terrible about my dog, it's just when I get angry I'm like Jeklly and Hyde, I just go off the rails I've been having counselling but once I'm angry nothing helps, it just twists me, I just lose it all and resent anything logical or good about me, I'm getting more help dealing with anger. I have to leave for now, got company. =3

I recently had a security course at work, I studied hard excelled in the mock exams but as per usual I got to the real test panicked and everything I knew decided to delete itself from my mind, I had to get by on common sense and scraped through, I passed all the tests except module one which I failed. I recently had my resit for module one, I haven't had my results yet, but my main manager basically hinted that I don't have a job if I don't pass and my supervisor believes I should pay for the resit and I shouldn't be paid for my hours. Anyway... I took the course on my rest day, my supervisor decided I wouldn't be given the 12.5 or 8 I work and said he'd reluctantly arrange for me to be paid for 4 hours, I was given my course date and no time to attend, on asking I was told to attend at 9am, I decided to investigate the time as it didn't feel right, I later found out that the exam started at 2pm, this made me a little angry at the agreed 4 hours as it would take away my precious free time on Sunday. I got back to work and on Monday I asked if I could leave 4 hours early as I had a chance to go on a date which is something rare for me, he declined, I was upset but I thought oh well it's short notice and got on with my day. I met my date at a later time than planned and arranged to meet on Saturday, when I got to work today(Tuesday.) I asked if I could have my four hours back on Sunday so I could have a lie in as I planned to be out late Saturday and again he said no... This time I complained that it was unfair as I'm owed the hours and I'd be working the same hours no matter what day I had time off... He then proceeded to say that it's my fault as I had failed my test and that the company had already once paid for me to go on the course and in his opinion I should of did the course in my own time and paid for the resit out of my money.. (Which I think is unfair given I don't want to work security, I've just done it as it's part of my contract with the company, and I've had no support.) He then proceeded to say that he feels more work can be done on a Sunday and that I'd work harder... I contested this with I'd work no differently on a Wednesday and that I dislike the week ends as I lone work and I don't like lone working, I find it demoralizing, he then stated that I'd work harder on Sunday than Wednesday because he wouldn't be there to pull me off jobs... This made me exceptionally angry, as I feel if he feels I don't get enough PPM and L8 work done during the week because he pulls me off to do maintenance jobs, that he should allocate the jobs better as it's a poor excuse as he was basically demonstrating he has no respect for my time to do things I'm allocated if he wants his green route jobs done, if I work 8 hours today or tomorrow in my work it makes no difference as the work gets done and there is four of us working there.... He then proceeded to tell me I should write an email explaining why I think this is unfair... which has basically all stressed me out into a fit of rage, I've throne my tool kit at the wall and I've even smacked my dog across the face as she greeted me because I'm evil with rage. (I didn't hurt her, was more of a tap, but it still upset her and it's upset me that I now feel so negative I'm pushing loved ones away and directing my anger at everything...) I feel like I just want to kill him, it's not my first run in with him and he's quite frankly a bully and every time I don't agree with him he blackmails me by saying you work 8 hours on the week end now I can change it back to 12 if you don't like it... I've just had enough of poor excuses and unreasonable responses and shitty motto's like "Do as I say not what I do..." Leaders should lead by example not by flaunting their authority and it's the same reason I never got on in school I can't get on with someone I start to lose respect for...