MiddleEarthNet

Yeah this thread helped me loads. I have watched Transformation Street. One of my support workers there told me about it. Before the first episode, I did wonder whether showing it to my parents would help them understand and accept but I think it will make things worse. I’d have like a more even representation of male to female and female to male as I’m struggling to relate to it.

Hi, so it has been months since I last posted on here. I figured this thread was the most appropriate to post again. The reason for my absence is because I needed the time to figure out who I was. Last time I was on here, I was questioning my gender and the whole thing was tearing me apart. I have come to realise, I am transgender, ftm. My support workers have been brilliant and have taken me clothes shopping. But my parents (who barely accepted my autism and ADHD have taken it badly. Anyway, I’m back, now that I’m more settled and beginning to live as male.

I frequently hear 'I want to hear it from you', even though like you I had given permission.

Thanks, I'll take a look at those options.

Out of curiosity, how are the big ear phones (that cover the ear) at blocking sound if I don't have music playing? I'd be willing to try that. But I can't use them if they are playing music, the sound that close to my ear, even on low volume is agony. But the blending in appearance of them really does appeal.

I can't actually answer your question as I have never learnt about fashion and have never understood fashion. I occasionally get comments saying I am fashionable. My reply is always 'really?' as I wouldn't know. But I see it more as fashion happened to overlap with what I like to wear. I pick my clothes based on four things: Do I like the colour Can I tolerate it again my skin Do I like the look of it Is it comfortable Mum helps though on smarter clothes.

I want to know what people's experiences are with this. Most of my senses are really hypersensitive. I already regularly wear sunglasses even when others don't but I'm not sure if the solution for dealing with too much sound is a good idea. I own a pair of ear defenders. I absolutely love them and they are brilliant, they also happen to be bright red. I've used them loads when it is too much sound but I'm not in a public place. But using them in front of other people, I'm not so sure about. My support worker has taken me to a few places that I would love if only I could cope with the sound but the sound is too much for me. I've tried the more discreet ear plugs and they aren't right for me. They didn't block out enough of the sound, allowed the really painful high pitch sounds through and made me more aware of the internal sounds of the ear. Even if I buy a more neutral colour ear defenders, I still think they will be really obvious. And I'm still nervous about using fidget/sensory toys in public. The sunglasses feel more acceptable. What are other people's experiences or thoughts on wearing ear defenders in public?

Sorry about the slow reply trekster. I totally forgot to check back. Yes my support worker would come with me. I already have them attend every medical appointment with me. But from my experience, not every medical person allows them to speak. Some refuse anything but me talking and don't allow them to help out. Fade, that's a similar situation to me. I keep on thinking about autscape. Maybe this is Year I do it.

Definitly bookmarking that recent link. The support worker that asked me previously has been worried that because of my autism that when I am ready to go down that route I wouldn't get through the assessments because of my communication difficulties.

Hi, actually it's very relevant. I used to own cats and loved the feel of their fur on my face. But Mum won't let me get another cat. Plus they aren't a portable option. As a first step, I tried those one of those fake velvet little pouches that jewellery sometimes come in. It's ok, but it's not as textured as proper velvet so I'll keep looking for the proper stuff.

Ooh, I like that idea. I'll definitly try that. Thanks.

Hi, I've tried lip salve on the past. It has pretty much the exact opposite effect with me. It does reduce the dry skin but anything that leaves a residue feeling on my skin (soap, cream, lip salve) I'm not able to tolerate. It's like sensory overload because it adds an extra sensation but not one I like. I then end up targeting that area. The last time I tried lip salve, the damage I did to my lips was horrific. I'm the same with anything like that. I have scars from where I clawed my skin after putting a little bit of cream on because of insect bites. But I think what I am seeking is specific sensory input on the lips (not in a romantic way). I was using my tangle hairy earlier and only when mum shouted at me to stop, did I realise, I was rubbing the rubber hairs on it across my lips. And only when forced to stop, did the picking at my lips start. I've also always (and still do) rub my soft toys across my lips. So I need something that I won't get told off about.

I use fidget and sensory toys almost constantly. But what they don't seem to stop is the skin picking, specifically my lips, which I can shred. Once I tried a chewy necklace but I didn't like it. I can't tell if its because it was the wrong one for me or because I don't actually chew stuff. Its odd because I use both teeth and fingers to pick at my lips. Any ideas what to try?

I'd have told him I was autistic and that because it is a spectrum that means everyone is different. ...Or just him him .

I agree with Pinenunny - it's exactly like why a toddler does it. I'm like that as well. I have communication problems and it is literally I can't express how I'm feeling. But normally it's not just the one thing that you see that 'appears' to cause the meltdown. More likely it's been lots of little things and that last one just takes it too much. They could have been building up over the day or even a few weeks. You most likely won't get any sensible response until she has calmed down. Though everyone is different, for me being left alone and allowing me to settle in my own time was about the only way. If there is anything that has a calming effect (even if it's something that wouldn't work for you, people on the spectrum can find the most unusual things help) then just leave it near her. She'll pick it up when she can. Once she's past the stage where she might hurt the dog, that is good one for calming people (or any pet) because they don't rely on language.

I can totally understand. My most recent one was I away with a NT karate team at a major international competition. The team managers and coaches know I am on the autistic spectrum. I said several times in advance I wouldn't be able to cope with the opening ceremony and asked if I could just not go to that bit. I was told I had to go. Then when i didn't cope and had to removed the coaches got really annoyed with me saying I spoilt it for them. Even to the level where the assisstant coach said 'if you can't cope with this, why do you think you can cope with the competition?' And saying that if I'm going to be trouble they won't take me again. I know I can manage fine when I'm actually competiting - thats why I got picked. Oh and the same person said 'you just have to learn how to get over it'. I've heard all sorts of really unacceptable comments at far more than just this event. I think it all comes down to lack of understanding and lack of willingness to understand. Because we appear 'normal', people don't accept when we don't behave like other adults.

Fluoextine is an anti depressant.

I've been reading your posts. Including your recent one about not getting support. I just didn't have anything to reply with so I didn't. I wasn't scared off though .

YES! I'm an only child so my parents can't compare me to a brother or sister but they have compared me to my cousins and children of their friends. But more specifically, I've always felt as if my parents don't understand me and don't accept me for who I am. Mum is constantly making hurtful comments about pretty much everything about me that my ASD affects but she seems to accept my dyslexia. Dad pretends nothing is wrong or different but then when something comes up (whether ASD or dyslexia) acts like he doesn't understand and has never seen it before. Even after doing martial arts for most of my life, mum still is too ashamed to tell her friends incase they percieve me as violent but they all know anyway because dad told them. Both are in denial about that I actually need quite high levels of support. And everytime I buy male clothes (this is a whole other issue) I get a massive telling off from mum.

I'm pleased to hear that was easier than you expected .

I can't advice on specifics but my guess is she has already started to work it out for herself that she might be on the spectrum and doesn't know how to tell you.

I think some people just never really except it. I'm not in a relationship but I have similar experiences with my parents who I still live with. Its been 9 years since the diagnosis and I'm just getting on with things but my parents still make frequent remarks about how whatever I just said or did is nonense because of my Asperger's. Its like they use it to cancel out anything that they disagree with.