Jump to content

sunworld

Members
  • Content Count

    6
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About sunworld

  • Rank
    Norfolk Broads
  1. Yes, at the moment, he definitely needs re-direction when he starts to become unsettled but an hour in his room can really settle him. There are times though when it is very hard to re-direct him because he is too distracted, but usually holding him close is often enough to calm him (thankfully he has always responded really well to a hug from mum!). Yes, it is lovely to spend time with Harley - he likes to be close to me and he also loves it when we have a running commentary on what we are watching!
  2. As a mum to a newly diagnosed ten year old, I would always say get it checked out if something doesn't feel right. The worst you can be is wrong, eh? Best of luck!
  3. We also do that with Harley - his room seems very comforting to him and seems able to relax and switch off there. He likes to surf the net and we are than happy to let him have that space! Just wanted to give an update to Trekster: we implemented your sign idea and can't thank you enough! It's worked like a dream bar one occasion when Harley was very unsettled and went in anyway. However, when both is brother and I pointed out that he had gone in without permission, he was visibly regretful and hasn't done it since! This is where we struggle - understanding his mind-set rather reaching for our own - and why forums like this are invaluable!
  4. Hi Trekster and thank you so much for your response! No, you are right, we don't know how intentional his behaviour is and we most certainly give him the benefit of the doubt (much to his brother's chagrin!). He has told us that he thinks his brother likes it - "but he's smiling" is something he often says. As I mentioned, it is hard to switch from the mind-set of the last ten years that any behaviour is intentional, but we are working on it! I wouldn't say he has a negative view about himself, but he gives very little away and certainly can't express his feelings without help. However, he is a happy boy and doesn't really go out of his way to upset people. I don't think Harley wants his brother to be cross, but feels calm when he reacts in a way Harley is expecting him to, does that make any sense? The sign sounds like a really good idea - one thing we are quickly finding out is that the things we take for granted often need literally spelling out for Harley. We started to write out a daily rota for him (get up at 8, have breakfast, have a shower, take the dog for a walk) and we were amazed at how much he referred to it - again, it is hard to switch from thinking "well, he should know to do those things" and understanding that he simply doesn't! His flapping is both when he is happy and nervous, but seems predominantly when he is content. He has a "singing" that goes with it. When he is more nervous, the flapping is a little more agitated, but you are right, it is hard to differentiate.
  5. Thank you for your responses, guys! You are right, Dgeorgea - wallowing in guilt doesn't help anyone! But, it is normal to feel twinges when you have lived with a child for ten years and failed to see what is now glaringly obvious for us! I was also warmed hearing about your daughter - every now and again I catch myself wondering what his adulthood will be like - will he find a job he loves and have good friends, so it is always good to hear people who have been through it, and come out the other end! With regards to going into his brother's room - he knows he shouldn't, but it doesn't stop him. I think he wants to reach out to his brother, and doesn't really know how to, so annoys him instead. Alternatively, a counsellor we have been seeing suggested that perhaps Harley expects his brother to be cross, and when he is, it makes him feel safer and calmer. We also tried talking to our youngest, who is a hot-head, and explaining that he needs to stay calm - we can usually steer Harley away and divert him by just a soft hand on his shoulder, and we've suggested he tries that (which isn't really working, either!). Livelife - yes, that's exactly it. We have no idea if it is Aspergers or him being deliberately provocative and irritating, which makes any kind of punishment difficult and often futile. The last week has probably been the hardest for us and then all of a sudden today he has been so calm all day - no flapping, no irritating behaviour, nothing. He attributes it to drinking green tea! Anyone else noticed that green tea has a calming effect on Aspergers?
  6. Hi everyone, I've come here seeking a little advice as I feel that we are currently floundering around in the dark a bit! My ten year old son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers, and although we always knew he was a little quirky, the diagnosis hit us hard. We felt an enormous amount of guilt for not realising sooner, especially as I had been on the look out for ASD "symptoms" since he was a baby and saw nothing that concerned me. The whole family is struggling to come to terms with everything and with the summer holidays, things are reaching very stressful levels. We have an eight year old son, too, who is dreadfully irritated by his brother (not giving him personal space and constantly going into his room to seemingly annoy him). At the moment, we are sometimes unsure whether he is just behaving badly or is behaving in the way he is due to Aspergers - for example, he's just spent three days with his grandparents and they reported that he was the model child. However, as soon as he came back to us, there has been a lot of "in your face", irritating behaviour. I have read that some Aspergers kids can have an almost Jekyll and Hyde persona - and my son is definitely a different person at school than he is here - but how are they able to behave so well in some circumstances, and not others? Doesn't that show an element of control? My son is what I would consider very high functioning - he is pretty good in social situations with other children, although a little shyer in strange adult company, he also maintains brilliant eye contact, and on the surface, I am sure most people would consider him unimpaired. But then there are glaring differences - his inability to read body language or facial expressions, unable to express his feelings, sometimes sheer lack of empathy for other's feelings, and his flapping, which he does whether he is happy or stressed! We love our son. He's just our boy, and we want to help him in the best way we can. Could anyone help me in any way? I feel so guilty for getting frustrated with him - I think it is because we've spent the first ten years of his life understanding he was a little different, but now he's had a diagnosis, we are having to re-think everything we thought we knew about him. I feel a little lost, to be honest
×
×
  • Create New...