Hey I'm new to the Forum, I'm Tom, a 24- year old Student in my 3rd Year at University studying Digital Media Production.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers since the age of 3. I found my adolescent years very hard and lost a lot of self-esteem due to lack of friends and negative thoughts about myself and even ended up with clinical Depression and spent 9 months in a an Adolescent Unit.
Luckily I have been very fortunate that I made a full recovery and my parents are very supportive of me.
I think very deeply and over-analyse situations more than they need to be and have little fantasies in my head about the way my life should be, for i suffer with high levels of anxiety when I go out, I think I have social anxiety. This really makes it difficult for me to enjoy life and feel relaxed, and can feel uptight and on edge for long periods of time. I am also due to my nature too trusting and kind; I suffered a very bad experience recently when I was bullied by people who i thought were my friends and ended up taking advantage of me and giving my personal information to their partner who sent me abusive messages and caused me great distress.
Since then I have found it hard trusting people, and I have lots of negative thoughts about the state of the world, people today etc. and feel like I will never find anyone who I can relate to. I am often distracted by thoughts of wanting a relationship, I have only had one that lasted for less than 2 months and due to my shyness/anxiety I have never approached girls and don't like going out much due to large crowds and encountering drunk/violent people. I live in a flat in my own with MENCAP but struggle with getting on with staff and only have 1 or 2 I can really get on with. I am very successful academically, but my concern is due to my lack of confidence/social life I am worried I am going to end up a loner. This upsets me because I am a very laid back, easy going person but due to social anxiety and dealing with Aspergers on a daily basis I feel worn out and fed up and feel like I'm never going to get better.
If anyone could please offer me any advice/help I would much appreciate this as I really feel fed up with everything right now and feel like my existence is pointless.