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About Hail_x

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    Norfolk Broads

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  1. how do i do this please? thanks
  2. thanks for your reply - sounds very familiar to how he was when with me in my flat. hope you don't mind me asking but do you go cold on her for no reason? have you had periods where you split up and then regret your actions? my ex always comes crawling back (be it 6 months later) but i find it strange that he can say such hurtful things about not having feelings anymore and then have the gaul to approach me again saying he's missed me and doesn't want to be alone.
  3. Well I finally txt him asking why the silent treatment and got the response 'need to be on my own' I think every year of our 6 years i've had this, and he then says it's not going anywhere... (even though he's the one who won't let it) so since i last saw him his feelings are gone. Can I really blame this on the Aspergers or is he really that heartless. Same conversation last year when he ended with me in June then come January this year, comes crawling back and tells me he only said those things because he thought he was doing the right thing by me. Very distraught at how heartless he's handled it and how he seemed to have no feelings when I tried to talk to him face to face, his repeated response was 'I don't know what to say'. Anyone else experience the hot/cold in a relationship with an Aspie? and the sudden 'it's not going anywhere'?
  4. I can't get him to meet my family, let alone go to a counsellor and at the moment he's doing his 'retreat to cave' he's not spoken to me since mid June - this is the major problem and cause for my initial question about whether this was a aspie trait or just him being an a*** It's just a waiting game for me now, when he want's to talk, he'll turn up drunk and break the ice. I'm just out of ideas on how I should or shouldn't be dealing with this.
  5. Thank you for the replies. Frances20 - I think understanding that it is due to his Aspergers helps as it's hard for me not to take it personally. Why would he suddenly stop texting or speaking to me for no real reason - obviously my mind is different to the way his is so knowing there are others who can relate to this makes me feel better, and of course, friends opinions on how one should be treated all adds to the mix. I guess i'd like to know if there is a light at the end of the tunnel. How long were you together before your relationship progressed to living together?
  6. Ah thank you for your reply and advice! i'll have a look into the books. It's hard because people think i'm just making excuses for his behaviour as to an onlooker, it just looks like he doesn't care about me or us. Funnily enough, he's very affectionate at times but I feel like it's out of sight out of mind. He admits he doesn't like going on 'dates' where we will bump into people he knows as doesn't want to have to false 'small talk' even when I say just say hello. I'm trying to understand more so when we do finally have the 'talk' I don't just lay into him. He also won't tell his family about me which I find really upsetting, he claims it's due to them then asking '20 questions' when I suggest that once they've asked the questions, they'll leave him alone he doesn't seem to understand. Again, wondering if all the secrecy is another part of the Asbergers? The way i'm describing him almost sounds like we're having an affair and he's married!
  7. Just joined this forum and this is my first post so apologies if it's in the wrong topic discussion. My bf (and I use the term lightly as he doesn't like labels) has Aspergers at least we suspect he does (or a form of it). Just wondered if there were others here in the same situation and how you cope with a relationship? just wanted opinions and advice. He randomly goes off the radar and will go a month with no contact but for no real reason, then he'll get drunk and pluck up the courage to see at silly o'clock claiming he was too shy to talk to me, all the while he's missed me. He can never explain his actions, and before anyone says it, he's not off with other women, he's at home usually in his room (he's 30 and lives with parents). I used to go mad at him but we'd just end up breaking up as he thought it was the best thing for me to not have to deal with 'the way he is' but then months later he'd be back and neither of us had moved on or got over each other. This has been going on 5 years + Is this a common trait or is it just him and nothing to do with him possibly having Aspergers? Thanks
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