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jack schitt

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Everything posted by jack schitt

  1. Hello. I'm rarely here, but welcome.
  2. A late response, but maybe for next time ... What challenges do autistics face from Nuerotypical people? What is autism? How does society discriminate against autistics. Ask what they noticed today on the way (from home to the interview room - physically or sensory) which could be potentially stressful or confusing for autstics? Ask what they think of ABA?
  3. Everyone has different pain thresholds and drug tolerances I don't think its autism or being odd. Also the exact site of injection will influence its usefullness
  4. Thank you for sharing your life that way. For me you have met your aims stated at the end of the videos. I liked the fact that each video was bite size and that they had a positive slant rather than depressing wound licking. Your style is very clear and balanced, you should be very proud of those videos. They are an inspirational insight into you, rather than any superfluous clinical diagnosis I'm glad you overcame the bullying I hope you make more
  5. Thats sounds familiar. I don't know how long post diagnosis you are but have you managed to review things and become pretty much the person you were pre-diagnosis? ...the one she fell in love with? I've heard it said and observed that post diagnosis the Aspergers preoccupation takes over a person too much ... for a time at least. Apologies if this is not the case, but I wonder if sometimes the partner longs for the pre-diagnosis magical person again without all the insights and clinical understanding of their behaviour. In a way, you being preoccupied and worried about whats wrong may even wind up your wife more. Working away also has its own effect on relationships. Sorry if I'm a million miles off base but I hope you may consider the comments even of its just to discount them. I don't know what to suggest apart from try and make her feel special again. Good luck and try and stay positive But also, do make sure you do what you need to do to stay in good mental shape so you have the energy and positivity to deal with these situatons
  6. I don't have answers but know whatever is said can be, and often is denied. Email can provide a good evidenced record that can't be denied. I'd email, or support son to email the social worker asking her to 'substantiate and quantify' her concerns in writing. Regarding using disability against him - they should not discriminate but be very wary and compliant with the 'Equalities act 2010' If there must be meetings its my understanding its within the law to record for 1st party use (ie: for personal record). It also might be said this would be a reasonable adjustment to allow processing but whether they agree or not I'd record all via mobile phone app. This can also help as sometimes it can show if we or they have misinterpreted etc. From what you have said there is no legal way they can prevent any contact (at this stage) so be wary of giving them any excuse. Email is a good way to get objections and facts on record but do be careful as what is in writing can be used against a person if its not carefully worded. Be patient while the truth comes out and try to be quietly confident rather than panic ... Note some of your sons positive aspergic attributes to add to your case when needed ... honesty commitment, trustworthy, reliability etc .....sorry I have nothing more useful to add ...good luck
  7. Search ebay for etymotic or musicians earplugs. These allow enough noise through to hear. You can pay alot or very little. If its OK with your son and you are able to talk calmly with them I'd just phone the school and speak to the head. I understand its not always easy talking to the school as they are subject to time contraints / busy and come across as sharp etc. but just focus on being diplomatic and solution focussed. Using earplugs could be considered a reasonable adjustment if they are aware of your sons Aspergic traits. Chances are that with his current earplugs he can still hear the teacher as he can adjust the fit to suit, but the musician / etymotic ones will allow more through and also have additional inserts to regulate volume. Its just getting the concept through to the school head of your sons hieghtened hearing awareness / filtering challenges and that plugs only reduce noise, not prevent it and will aid his focus not reduce it. If you need a record of your request email will provide that and might even be an easier way to communicate in a considered way Other alternatives might be reviewing the seating plan, they are obliged to make reasonable adjustments for him
  8. Charlie, unfortunately I would say most (but not all) managers are drawn to management posts for the wrong reasons. They are sometimes disingenuous liars. The good ones get corrupted or leave. When it comes to incompetence, lying and all kinds of immoral dishonesty I'd believe anything and have seen enough already. From my previous employment one of my ex-managers is in prison as we speak and there are a few protected in post now who should have been dismissed on gross misconduct grounds. Its worth bearing in mind its not illegal to discreetly record meetings you may have for first party use (especially with managers). Mobile phone apps work. Its a shame your care company are using your label against you. If they insist on using it, it should be to help. I've seen alot of label abuse / prejudice and have experienced some myself. In care, you really do see the best of the best ... and the worst. But ... success in the face of adversity is the sweetest revenge ... translated means succeed in life anyway and stay positive. Sometimes its the long game rather than the short one. Stay positive and laugh when you have to! Just to add a 'thankyou' to everyone for their understanding and kind comments in this thread. I did eventually secure employment ... the first post I applied for as it happened
  9. Trekster, its clear that we could have quite a strong virulent argument about this and no doubt would do if face to face. I stand by my viewpoint and knowledge. I do think you are wrong and no doubt vica versa - but there is no value for either of us in pursuing this. I hope that you may agree that we can agreeably disagree and leave it there - though if you would provide me with a local authority source to investigate further I will do so.
  10. I wouldn't exclude second opinion doctor and PALs. Sounds like you are in a frustrating situation but ideally (as long as you are treated fairly) you need to work with the system you are in. You can only really use the systems own rules or national law to challenge them. The more you kick against them the longer you will be on section. I would look into getting a mental health advocate to help you get your point across and ensure you are treated fairly and seriously. Some of them do really good work and understand the system well. The last thing you want is any relapse and you must always remember its the public and authorities perception that ultimately judges such things. After a period of such illness, even if symptoms are not discernible it pays to be cautious. When it comes to medical matters compliance is everything. Its not good to be known for non compliance. The medication you mention is available orally, but you would need to show that you will be compliant and that you understand why someone previously thought you were not compliant. This would show 'insight' which will be viewed as progress. I guess you want to be aiming for the lowest possible maintenance dose over time before raising the issue of stopping. Always work with the medics for the best outcome. Excess weight can be frustrating. It may be related to the meds. If you can at least stabilise the weight that would be a good first option. I find walking is no good as an exercise for me unless I march. A good march for 20 or 30 minutes two times a day may kick things off and you could even add a 20 min dance round your flat if you like. I'd be aiming to get moist (not dripping with sweat) on each occasion. Generating heat uses a lot of energy. Also, eating things that make good compost helps. I hope you find some sense in my response
  11. I think your care company, or individuals within, have made an error of judgement. What is the money they receive that was used for petty cash now used for?
  12. Trekster, its not the same in all care agencies at all you are simply completely wrong. When I started many years ago, expenses incurred during work were claimed via petty cash. There was a meal allowance which contributed to meals rather than paid for in full but additional transport costs and entry fees were paid in full. My understanding is this was related to the contributions of some of the care component to the company to accommodate this. Somewhere along the line this changed and the tenant funded additional costs from the care component. I resent and am offended by your suggestion that a support worker (ie: me) is taking advantage if they indirectly accept traceable and recorded expenses from a tenant they support. This is set up with full county council and the care quality commission knowledge and use. TBH I hate the arrangement. I don't want to frequent some of the places I have to during work let alone pay out of my pocket to do so. I do so to support the person to access such places. My idea of a meal out is the pound bakery in the high street as that is within my means and my idea of a drink is water. Why should I have to pay to eat at expensive eating establishments that I would never willingly frequent outside of work. At the end of the day a support worker on minimum wage can be on duty for 24 hr shifts and have to go to these establishments at the request of the service user, not the other way round. I feel you need to rethink your view point or even contact the CQC , county councils, government yourself to see if your view is shared by those agencies that fund the support and benefit system via taxation. Just why do you think some people get paid care components?
  13. Charlie,you clearly do have capacity. Apart from what I stated above the only other things I can suggest is that you also research 'direct payments' which enable you to choose who you fund to provide your support or a portion of support. I think your general reaction to the policy change was absolutely correct.. It is something worth challenging if you can do it without detriment to your health. Bear in mind and don't be afraid to use advocacy services as they will spread the load and provide focus ... also Citizens Advice Bureau may help. The company certainly can support you safely socially if they wish and have provided no reasonable reason for refusing to support you in a way that has become 'accepted practice' already. If the company won't accept your view and carry on supporting you socially I honestly would at least phone the CQC for your own clarification. Its difficult when you feel dependant on the support of an agency and they are not performing to what you feel to be a reasonable standard You must always put your good health and well being first and foremost. Care companies are increasingly run by people who do not care and have poor moral values. I know this because I have been working in care at various levels a long time and have strong feelings about negative, dishonest and morally lacking care practices I see. I'd love to know who your care provider is if you feel able to PM me their details ... but understand completely should you not wish to. Good luck in getting the individually tailored support you desire
  14. It is a hard and lengthy process for some partners to fully come to terms with in a hurry My experience was my partner going through denial, stigma/embarrassment, ridicule, irritation, anger, acceptance. They don't want to partner the aspergers ... just the person you were. If its a late life diagnosis its a lot to accept and also a newly diagnosed will be preoccupied for a long time trying to understand their condition. This 'absence' (while you are working it all out) can be hard for a partner to accept ... naturally they will feel shut out to some degree and there will be periods when they don't feel they can rely on you as before. Patience, understanding and acceptance may help and hopefully things will return as they were in time. I hope things improve for you Maybe not a popular comment, but I think that also sometimes when we are preoccupied we don't see how separate challenges in our partners lives are impacting them and how deep or prolonged that impact is. Your partners short temper may be due to something entirely seperate to yourself which may have gone under your radar. I guess I've just said what I said before, but I'll leave it there ...
  15. Complaining to the offending organisation will likely result in tactical avoidance and cover up. Major organisations have huge budgets, staffing resources, internal/external legal departments dedicated to this. I'm not familiar with the 'independent?' regulating bodies who may be a better source of challenge .... Ofcom? Fairness generally doesn't exist, only the law. There is the Equalities Act 2010, Protection from Harassment act 1997 and probably others ... There are certainly issues about inciting hatred and provoking prejudice ... its what the media routinely do
  16. Is the manager suggesting that you lack capacity? If there have been financial abuse cases within the company they should report such to the Care Quality Commision (CQC) but should not deny or deprive people of reasonable support requested. Some may class such refusal as abuse. There are occasionally staff who take advantage, they are an extreme minority and a good company should spot them early. You nor anyone else should suffer / be deprived of social support because of such internal issues. You may also phone the care quality commission (CQC) anonymously to discuss if you feel deprived of support or have service concerns. Tel: CQC - 03000 616 161 My understanding (which may be wrong) is that the care component within benefits is to contribute to additional care expenses such as the one you mention, or travel if mobility. Personally, I think there are ethical issues in how care components are used or not used sometimes. Unless the complex manager is providing some petty cash/expenses system for support workers I would say the person is insufficiently knowledgeable and too inexperienced to fulfil their role.. Safeguarding and denying support are two different issues. Its easily possible for any company that cares to ensure that no financial abuse is going on by prudent monitoring, personal knowledge and oversight. The company needs to give a ###### for this to happen. The general rule for support workers (often on minimum wage) is that they should not be personally out of pocket due to commencing normal duties requested of them. Ask for a copy of their policy on the matter, but be aware their policy is a guide only, has no legal or contractual validity and that policies are routinely breached by managers and above. They should also have followed a period of consultation with staff before altering a contractual (established practice) issue. If they have not done this there is cause for employee grievance. ACAS (0300 123 1100) can advise any concerned staff members while preserving anonymity if required. The CQC will / should advise you if you feel its detrimental to your service - (or they may pass the buck to the county council) If you are finding your support company hard to deal with or awkward just google advocacy services in your area - An advocate should support you to challenge the company efficiently without getting personally involved
  17. Its great that symptoms currently appear absent or well managed. Hope it stays that way! Do be wary though that at times of untoward / prolonged stress symptoms can come back. Also with increasing age and confidence it possible to subconsciously stop managing symptoms as you feel you've left it all behind .... which can create problems later on in life if/when they reoccur during difficult periods (hence late life diagnosis for some) Your GP should advise regarding re-evaulating the original diagnosis but do be aware that stress tends to bring it out and you still have a long and unpredictable life ahead
  18. 'Giant Steps' John Coltrane. ... (sing along!)
  19. Judie Tzuke https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_II4rqPUZM
  20. I think the thing is alot of people do not understand labels ... or have a very different (and likely negative) understanding... so for example, me quoting aspergers to a future employer is not necessarily going to help. Maybe better that they just get to know and trust me as a person first. Traits that have got me in trouble have centred around me doing things properly in a pedantic way, like following policy or (god forbid!) telling the truth! Believe it or not, things like walking across the top of meeting tables rather than asking people to let me through were accepted. We can only carry so much on our shoulders, I'm keen to let go of what troublesome / useless baggage I can and focus on positives.# They didn't understand that fidgeting can be an aid to concentration and sometimes its an alternative to internally falling apart. I used to have a thing for woolly jumpers...meetings allowed me to pick off all the bobbles, and every now and then I would be able to say something very intelligent, useful and pertinent ... which demonstrated I was listening carefully and taking part. Also my jumpers always looked like new!
  21. Someone I used to know and respect... (who had more emotional problems than anyone I've ever met) ... used to say (or rather manically shout) to me .... 'you understand, but you don't REALISE'. Some of his insights will stick we me forever. There's the thing. Its nice when we have revelations where things 'slot into place' and we 'realise'. Often we think we understand ... but occasionally, its as if the stars line up ... internal circuits switch on ... and we know we have seen something or are experiencing something life changing. I think the 'answer' is fluid and different for everyone at different times, but involves appreciating / enjoying being oneself and as much of the world around us as we can ... or at least trying our best to. I'm quite wary of my tendency to hyperfocus - so post diagnosis try not to look for problems as I know I'll always find what I'm looking for ... which may not be what I want! Right now I'm investigating little bits of happiness wherever I can find them, knowing that they will all add up to something. Never been into diagnostic labels, but if the insights can provide knowledge about yourself that makes you happier, more secure and your life better ... thats good
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