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phoebe

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Everything posted by phoebe

  1. phoebe

    How Long?

    OMG poor you. I am sorry, I do not have any suggestions at the mo, but wanted to send you some hugs XXXXXXXXXXXX <'> <'> <'> <'>
  2. Hello to friends old and new, I have not been around for a while, but I wonder if anyone has any advice for me? PLease!! My ds has been excluded again and whilst i do not argue with the school that the "crime" deserves a punishment, I would argue that on each occasion that he has been excluded, there have been a series of events that have led up to the incident and all or many of them are down to their mismanagement of his condition. I have always tried to work with the school and have spoonfed management systems to them, keep them informed of any/all developments and know and understand that they do a difficult job, but at times like these I struggle to appreciate that they are doing the best they can for my son. He has been with them for 6 years and will be moving on to secondary in the near future..... if after knowing him for so long, they cant educate him, what hope do I have??? He is statemented and in a EBD unit within a mainstream school. Has anyone challenged exclusion/ found a solution to these types of problems? HE is 9. (edited to include age)
  3. Many, many , many congratulations to you both. I am so pleased for you and wish you all the very best. Lovely, lovely news <'>
  4. Interesting post. Ds also has trouble with this. I have been known to hide away all summer gear in the winter, because once he is dressed in something, it is the devils own job to make him understand that he needs to change into something more appropriate! Do you actually really not feel the cold/heat? I am always amazed by DS' saying that what he is wearing is fine (even when his body is flushed with warmth from wearing too much in summer, he will claim that he feels fine). Even this week we have had examples of both extremes, but DS is quite happy with wearing shorts on a frosty morning and wearing jumpers and coat on the way home when it is considerably warmer? I thought (presumed) that this was another learning process, but maybe then it is a sensory thing. I will also look into this more.
  5. phoebe

    He did it!!

    Firstly CONGRATULATIONS and secondly - what do you think made the difference and is there any way I can replicate it? I was in school having a meeting with the EP this week - who was just telling me that DS wasn't a worthy candidate of specialist secondary provision (even though he is in a resourced provision at primary), when I was tracked down because DS had kicked off and hit a teacher and was to be excluded for the rest of the day and the following day. NO INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL EXCLUSIONS, NOW THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING, REALLY SOMETHING. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOUR LITTLE MAN
  6. Recently had a huge problem - now fixed (fingers crossed), but had to get an expert to reload all my software - when turning on pc it came up to a screen which said windows, but gave me no option for logging on. Has anyone else had this? Any idea what it could be down to and hoiw I can stop it happening again?? Already had virus protection......but......cant live without my pc Any advice techies?
  7. Hi J's mum I haven't been around for a while, but having read your post, I wanted to say hi and wish you all the best. I do hope that your planned break allows J and you some well earned time to chilll and that when you get back, some good news will arrive for you. Take care of you, it is so hard, but we all keep struggling on against the odds for the love of our kids.
  8. Our C.council has apparently decided to do team teach training for two days and as a result the resourced provision is closed for those days. The children are not allowed to go into school these days but will be provided with work to be completed at home. I offered to go in to support ds instead of him having two days off, but they said no. It is a mainstream school and DS spends his time in the classroom (statemented for 10 hours). Have any of the rest of you come across this and what do you think? Any teachers out there, is this normal procedure? (edited to include statmented hours and ask teachers opinion)
  9. "However, we have major probs with getting her hair cut - we have never tried a salon as she gets stressed out enough at home. She is getting worse with this the older she gets - she says she hates the hair falling on her face. Any tips?" Oh yes - haircuts!! That is a whole other matter, we also cut only at home now after years of struggling....luckily I am able to just shave his head with some of those clippers (actually even more luckily, ONLY daddy can do it). Luckily we have a boy otherwise I might have to go and learn how to do it properly!! Reading back through the posts and replies, I am aware thsat I didn't really plan for this shoe shopping trip and I should know better by now!!! I like that first person in the shop udea and I had already thought I might even phone them before I go next time, to explain and get the right assistant to help us. NOte to self PHONE the night before, be first in shop next morning........... The shop assisstant might have a sleepless night or worse, they might all phone in sick the next day!!!!!
  10. Thanks again!! I seem to have lost my smile at the moment. I just need to regroup and give myself a kick up the bum!!
  11. Hi I noticed you were fairly new here too and wanted to add my welcome to everyone elses. Glad you found the forum, here you will always find pepople who understand and a place to have a quiet rant when the stuff that most people cant begin to understand start to feel like a heavy burden. Celebrate the successes, no matter how small and remember we are all only human. Take care of you
  12. Thanks guys - knew you would understand!! First thing I have smiled at today reading some of your responses..... maybe they weren't supposed to be funny, but just knowing you know what I mean gives some relief. It is DS Birthday today - should be a happy day of course, but it just seems so stressful..... relatives coming round and Ds displaying the most spoilt brattish behaviour, tearing open presents and casting them aside before he even looks at them properly (or coming out with honest comments)!!! The word not even thought of, saying Thank you not entering his head - yes all children are like this to an extent, and part of the joy of childhood is the excitement of Birthday's and Christmas. On these days his behaviour epitomises all the things I hate and I have to be a happy encouraging and joyful mummy, sometimes the stress is too much I could almost say I am looking forward to the return to school if I didn't know what a nightmare the first term (at least) will be like. Sorry again - still feeling low
  13. How I hate shoe shopping, with the only child who cant sit still, who cant see and emulate how the other kids that are waiting, who talks to all the shop assistants while they are serving other people and whose only interest is in the shoe that he likes the look of which doesn't really fit him properley....... you end up without getting anything and the shop assistant feels like she has wasted her time on your misbehaved, child. Oh **** I am going to have to do it all again to get him a pair of shoes for school. Sorry, having a downer and needed to get it off my chest. By this stage of the holidays, I need a break!!
  14. Have been to a few sessions now and they are going along the "mummy willl come with you, lets really talk about it and write some very specific social stories angle"...... I dont feel very confident! Perhaps I am being defeatist, but it is nothing we haven't tried before. What is CBT, how long does iot take to really get a handle on a persons difficukties and doea it have a good success rate? Has anyone employed a private psych who has been able to make a real difference to your/your child's life? still looking for answers!
  15. - any suggestions welcome here too - There are programmes that can be used for 8 year old's, one we have used is "Volcano in my tummy." Explaining about anger and how it is a natural emotion, but it is what we do when we are angry, and the effect that can have that can cause problems. We are currently going to see a psychologist with our DS (but too early days to see what they can do to help). What about cognitive behaviour therapy - has anyone found this helpful for dealing with our kids anger and frustrations? At a loss ourselves and sometimes so desperate and scared about the future.
  16. I watched this a few weeks ago on another channel...... I also like supernanny, but often find that the people that she is working with seem to have little idea of how to act around their kids. It is worth a watch, but don't expect anything earth shattering. The child who has autism makes good progress during the period of filming and you can really identify with the family's loss of hope at times and mum's isolation, but the remedies are pretty standard and the things that they were doing before supernanny arrived are mind boggling. Just my opinion - see what you think Phoebe
  17. welcome back!! Hope things continue to improve for you both
  18. as well as all the things the others have said I would like to add PREPARATION The main thing that I would love for my sons school to do is to think about how things affect him differently before they plan any lessons or do anyhting out of the ordinary. Think about school trips and bring the parents on board in helping to prepare for events that re out of the norm. As Karen T said "stop making them try to be normal" and appreciate, maybe even celebrate their differences in a positive way instead of insisting they fit in.
  19. thats fantastic - what a great result - you must be so pleased
  20. ooooh Ultra mum!!! can I use that too?!?!?! Having just recieved a glowing report of our sons successes and how he is performing in most subjects at two years above his peers - I was faced with exactly the same dilemma as Baggy. Further, since we happen to have our review meeting tomorrow, I was highly suspicious and fully expect them to blow their own trumpet about how well he has progressed????!!!!! If they do I shall of course point out that between his "internal exclusions" and his exteranl exclusions - and the amount of work he brings home that he hasn't done during the school day - WHAT COULD HE HAVE ACHIEVED WITH THE RIGHT SUPPORT???!! Baggy - it doesn't sound like you have done any long term damage and after all, we all know that our kids interpretation of events/things said can be totally different. Why not question them? Communication is a two way thing.
  21. Have you already looked at it and are you happy with it? Have this school assessed him as suitable to the peer group there? Are they set up to cater for his needs? Hope everything works out.....I have been to a couple of these schools recently and I am gobsmacked at what is available. If you feel that it is the right place for him - go for it and hopefully he will feed on your positive vibes. Good luck anyway Phoebe
  22. Hi hugs to you - elun. My son also sounds very similar to yours. His early schooling was very unsettled and for many years I think that the professionals (I use that term loosely) at his school just thought we were a simple case of bad parenting. As he became older his unusual behaviour became less and less "ordinary" or acceptable, but he was just seen as being a clever and manipulative child. It took many referrals from our GP to finally get an appt to CAMHS' clinical psychologist. They would not see us until the school had ticked all the boxes in terms of requesting EP assessment, referral to EOTAS etc, but finally they saw us and he received a diagnosis. In his diagnosis, she states that he is academicaly at least 2 years above his year group and that as well as looking into AS we should investigate the "gifted and talented" (never really found much aboutnit though). Finally, two years after diagnosis, we eventually received a statement for him despite the fact that he is still performing 2 years + above his year group, and we now fight for a placement for him that can fulfil his needs (review tomorrow)! So...........the answer to your question depends on: how the school are with him anyway - are they supportive? do they see a need to treat him any differently, are they employing any techniques to help him to overcome his stresses? Do you think that his needs will become greater as when going to primary the children are required to do more group work and the kids are required to be more responsible for themselves..... loads of issues I cant write all down. If you have answered yes to any of these - maybe you have answered your own question? My son was first diagnosed at 6, almost 7. Although it had been apparent for a long time before that thathe was different. If you want to chat - pm me and I will give you my number Love and hugs Phoebe
  23. hi, I am hoping that you wil have heard from and been to the doctors by now. It is possible that it could be blood poisoning - no need to panic though antibitotics should clear it in no time. I had this as a child from a burn which I guess got infected and the line went from my finger all the way up the outside of my arm,crossed over to the inside of my arm at the elbow and was on its way towards my heart. I remember well feeling really cold and sitting in front of the fire with my coat and blankets on. I was burning up, but so well wrapped up that it took a while before anyone realised. I was 7 at the time!! Insist on seeing the doctor if you haven't done so yet. Keep us posted <'> Love and hugs Phoebe
  24. phoebe

    violence

    "J has had all the test for epilepsy and it all came back normal, the abscence have been put down to blanking out when the stimuli get too overloading" H too. He has never been diagnosed with adhd, but I often wonder???? CarrieQ "He can respond to deep pressure and has a hug vest that he wears at stressful points during the day." What is a hug vest please? and how did you get OT involved? Js ,u, - hope tomorrow is a better day and school is not too traumatic <'>
  25. phoebe

    bad news

    how awful poor you <'> <'>
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