pookie170

Hah! I had young Matilda with me (where else would she be, I suppose??) and while waiting in the queue at the Post Office, she farted hugely, and, dare I say it, wetly- and the man in front turned round and glared at ME!! Humph....... Mind you, wind instrumentals are rather popular in my house from dawn till dusk. Perhaps if we practised, we could take a highly unusual act onto Britains got Talent........ Pass the air freshener, would you???....

most helpful, thanks karen! that seems to have helped him understand a little better, i just wish i had a magic wand at the moment- think the disruption of the baby brought with her is making things worse too! The baby is doing well, thanks badders- being really rather generous most nights and allowing us some sleep, but during the day she is the ultimate clingon! but she's gorgeous and cute...and being forgiven for everything, even though she DID poo all over my clean jeans yesterday!!!! (hugely.....i shall spare you the details!)

Hey folks! We are having MAJOR issues at the moment with DS1, with regards to him not accepting responsibility for ANYTHING! In spring term, he actually struck a teacher at school (oh, the shame!!) but when we tried to get to the bottom of it, he kept skirting around what he'd done, trying to apportion blame on others' shoulders. He teased another boy who reacted with an almighty shove to DS1, but he's put up with DS1 teasing him this way for weeks, asking him to stop, telling the teachers whats going on, etc,etc. Yet we cannot get through to DS1 that it was his actions that caused the push to happen to him, IYSWIM? He just isn't/will not make this connection- and it is driving me insane! He's also terrible for digging a deeper hole for himself- as in, I'm trying to stay calm and talk him into seeing how he could have avoided these situations, but he's getting all strident and insistent and talking over me...and I could throttle him!! Part of this is teenagery nonsense (he's almost 13, would you credit it???) and hormones, although developmentally speaking, his younger brother is more developed than him socially etc.... Anyone got any advice?? Ta!!

Cheers, folks! She's currently asleep (YAAAAAYYY!) so I thought I'd pop online for a brief while! Just about to go and make a fly cuppa (no doubt, her bat-senses will pick up on this and she'll wake up as I raise my brew to my lips.....) but we are, indeed, having fun and enjoying each other. Her Daddy is smitten! In fact, I think I feature in 0.01% of all the snaps we have of the baby, whereas Daddy is in loads! Ah well, the camera will live to see more days if it's not catching me in its poor, defenceless viewfinder!! Happy days! XX

Give me Pantera, with a huge helping of Metallica....a smattering of the Dropkick Murphys and a smidgeon of Lamb of God.....perhaps a soupcon of MCR with a hint of Muse.....a dollop of Rob Zombie with a splash of Incubus........ Give me metal, punk, indie, I am a happy lady! Though I do like a spot of classical and have been known to wail along (oh the shame) to John Denver on occassion, too. Ah, ANNNND, I quite like the Smiths! Hurhur, my biggest claim to shame is knowing several Steps lyrics, arrrrrgh!!! They're fun when you're a little sozzled though!!

Hey guys- just wanted to let you all know that I'm now the proud parent of three!! (Yoikes!!) Baby Matilda arrived 11 days late on Monday,14th June at 1.40 am! I had a water birth and it went really well- my other half was fabulous and it was almost serene, in a weird way.... Both boys are delighted with their sister- a girl, who'd a thunk it???!!!- and like to be hands-on, especially where the pram is concerned. I just wish I could convince them we don't actually have a racing model pram!!!! Hopefully be around a bit more from here on in, just wanted to let you all know about our lovely little daughter! XXXXX

I warched that one as well, Mumble, and agree that it was more of an info bite on autism than anything else, but again, good to raise awareness.

Hey guys- we're back online, albeit tentatively! Our PC has been most uncooperative for quite some time now, so I've been unable to post replies an so on to ANYTHING!! It's like having your typing fingers (all two of 'em!) gagged........I can hear BD breaking out in a cold sweat at the very thought, hur hur!! All is well, baby is brewing nicely, I look and feel roughly the size of a barge and the boys are being their usual charming selves..... (a slight porky- puberty is occurring in DS1 and sheer cheek is oozing out of DS2 like the mucus that flowed from that horrible green puppet from 80's saturday morning telly!!!!) However, we are all hale, hearty and in one piece (a rapidly expanding piece, in my case....GAH!) and fervently glad to be online again. Hope you guys are all dandy, too!!! Esther and co. XXX

Yet again, ol' Jorders seems fixated on personal image and has an infatuation with cosmetic surgery that one could well put down to ASD obsessiveness. And, in a similar way to Kirsty Wark constantly returning to familiarity in the form of Channel 5, Katie P keeps going back to Pete, if we're to believe the media mill........though frankly, every bloke she's ever dated seems to be frighteningly similar to Mr Andre, in an ident-kit, plastic-fantastic, 6 pack and fake tanned sort of way....... She's clinging so tightly to that comfort zone, her ASD is plain to see!

As far as I'm aware, all the wretched glands that make puberty such a joy to behold (and experience, if memory serves....) start to wake up and sed out teeny flahes at around 7 or 8, in boys. Not full blown hormonal activity, but they start to prepare for the onslaught! That said, what you guys are seeing in your son seems more likely to be due to him developing behaviourally and socially- and not that far off what kids of a similar age are trying to pull! My youngest started trying this kind of thing out this year, the little toad that he is! BD's advice is good- just keep an eye on him in case there's an underlying issue you haven't discovered yet, but this should pass as you're handling it well. Good luck, though- this stuff is such fun, isn't it??

I have to say , Kirsty, that I was sitting here going 'Aww!' when Alex gave you those gifts- how thoughtful was he, getting you the dolphin necklace because you like dolphins? Many blokes far older than him could learn a thing or two, I think!! And you have a lovely voice, young lady- yet another talent alongside being an author, hey? Well done! I must say, I'm thrilled for Tom- his successes are growing and he looked far happier than last time we saw him- long may it continue! And hopefully Oli will have his diabetes under control again soon, and be offered a job. My heart goes out to him, it's really rather sickening when you consider the amount of adults across this country who are perfectly content to sit on their butts all day....and there's Oli, desperate to get work of any sort and he can't get a job....something'll come up soon, I hope. I was so cheered up by this update programme, well done to all concerned.

Sorry to hear of your Uncle's passing. Its never nice when someone that we love passes- take it one day at a time, pet. X

Cheers for all the replies, dudes!! Well, I phoned the school and ended up speaking to the SWM who filled me in on events prior to the meeting I had been unaware of. Turns out that the Ed Psych had sat for 10 minutes spouting about why she shouldn't be there, this wasn't part of her job, she wouldn't be giving any input and she had other things she should be doing. So the SWM explained that she went into the meeting feeling very frustrated (and, reading between the lines, terribly cheesed off!). She apologised that this had come through in her demeanour and reassured me that her aim was to help my son manage the problem areas better. The suggestions put forward are in the process of being implemented and there has already been some improvement, so things are looking up. Another plus side is that DS1 got to experience the school complaints procedure from the other side last week- he was kicked by a classmate as he passed by (said classmate was not having a good day!!) and once the initial hubbub died down, was asked whether he'd like to put in a complaint, to which he said yes. There followed an 'investigation' of sorts into what/why the incident had happened and a meeting involving both boys, the staff member present at the incident and a the SW who organises the peer group too. DS1 seemed to 'get ' that the system can work for him as well as against him so hopefully he might make a better decision next time he feels aggrieved- fingers crossed! Esther X

Hey Smiley! Sorry to hear you're not well-sending healing hugs your way!! Argh- the secondary placement things' a bit of a struggle, isn't it? Hope you manage to get it sorted with the minimum of pushing and shoving- it's good that the professionals are backing for something out of mainstream, if that's what's needed. Keep us updated, and hope you're feeling better soon. Esther XX

Hey guys, thanks for your thoughts. I think, Kazzen, had it not been the holidays, the meeting would have been held at the school with more staff present...but I think I'd like another meeting to try and figure out strategies to put into place in the science class and so on. SWM actually said that DS1 could not have 1 to 1 situation- I'm not asking for it, either, but I want to know if extra support could be made available to help my son cope in the 2 problem classes. It's a trust funded, mainly residential, all-boys' school that caters to kids with ESBD type problems. Many of the pupils ARE on the spectrum and the care commission and HMI reports are fab. Moreover, when we were looking at this school as a placement, the lads we spoke to were happy and contented with their provision- and in general, I am happy with DS1's progress at the school and other aspects (feedback, support etc...) Now, I'm cursing my pregnant brain because I'm struggling to recall if it's 2 or 3 times the school informed me the holding technique had been used. But a thought occurred- shouldn't this be documented, with me having to sign something? Again, I think I'd like to discuss this further. Sally, Madhen, Av- the SWM is the only person who has demonstrated this weird response.....normally, I'd fully expect the school to be more interested in finding new techniques for coping/helping DS1 to cope with problems........I'm certainly going to insist that this be addressed and acted on. Have I a right, do you know, to ask that SWM not be involved in DS1's school life/IEP/further meetings etc? I'm so cross about her behaviour, I don't need or want anyone on our 'team' who'll bring such negativity with her....I'm also now wondering whether this woman likes my son at all! Thanks though- even just the act of venting has helped me to clarify a few things in my mind. (Not an easy task these days!!! )

Oh....where to start??? First of all, I was under the impression that things were going relatively well with my sons' high school placement. Not trouble-free, by any means but it felt fairly successful and I was happy with provision/feedback etc..... Then, last week, disaster reared its' ugly head once again. It's becoming an old 'friend' in our house, this particular beast!! Anyway, my eldest was excluded because he struck a teacher. Talk about mortified...I couldn't quite believe it and my boy knew as soon as I opened the door that I was horribly disappointed, upset, angry....the whole gamut. I didn't rant at him, but managed to stay calm and concise. We've been over and over what happened, why he did what he did, why he cannot do this again, no matter what the circumstances are.... He actually said that he was trying to get the teachers' attention. I have walked him through how he can achieve this in an appropriate manner and that ensured he knows he did not 'nudge' (his word!!) his teacher- he was far too forceful. Anyway, that was last Wednesday. Believe me, he has had consequences- no wrestling programmes/figures/magazines, no electronic entertainment whatsoever, not being allowed to join in on a day out to soft play (his younger brother was on holiday that week, tch!!!)......he's really felt it, too..... The meeting arranged with the school took place yesterday- it took longer to arrange for 2 reasons- 1) The school wanted the ed psych and ASL manager from our LEA to be involved, it taken them quite some time to respond to the school..... and 2) This week is the week that my eldests' school has its' holiday! (On a purely practical level, this is a nightmare where childcare is concerned!!! But I did ask for it!!) I can live with this. It happens. So....present at the meeting were : Me, my OH, DS1, our new Ed Psych, the ASL manager and the school Social Work Manager. The meeting begins with the usual introductions- we've never met the Ed psych or ASL manager before. Then the school Social Work Manager(SWM) said her bit. She read out from the incident/assault report the teacher filed. Jist of it is, the teacher felt the assault was totally unpredictable and 'came out of nowhere'- he was struck from behind. (I am soooooo ashamed of my lad, I tell you......) She then spoke directly to my son about this incident/behaviour being totally unacceptable, that the police could have been involved and that while the school did not want to exclude anyone, they felt that this was their only option. None of the above was news to my son, it had been WELL covered at home and at his grandparents', reinforced by disappointed aunties/uncles.....I quite agreed, in other words. She went on to say that the school wanted DS1 back, but that any future incidents of this ilk could well have more serious and lasting repercussions. Fine. I asked my son if he wanted to share his account- he asked me to do so for him, which I did, explaining that he thought he was nudging his teacher (he really seems genuine on this one- and I KNOW when he's trying to pull a fast one!!!) and hadn't meant to cause harm but that he was very sorry he had done so. The SWM said that was all very well but there was nothing in the incident report to indicate DS1 had tried to get the teachers' attention. A bit more discussion of the incident followed, and then I brought up the fact that my son appeared to be behaving in an unacceptable manner more frequently during this subject (science) than in any other. I said I thought that my son was having difficulty with the lesson delivery style- the teacher is a little younger and less staid than most of his colleagues. Not that he's a bad teacher, far from it- I do think that the lesson style is difficult for my son to cope with, though. Cue the bristles raising on SWM's neck- hackles were right up.....she launched into defence of this teacher (I honestly wasn't attacking him!!) and went on to say that my son was actually having just as much difficulty coping in Art classes, and that furthermore, the CALM trained staff have had to use the safe holding technique 3 times with DS1 since he started in September. She added, in a scandalised tone, that the school has an excellent record where use of CALM is concerned, and that last session, they didn't use the technique as often as they had had to already with DS1. Well.....several thoughts occurred- I couldn't voice them as my son was there and I didn't want him to think I wasn't supporting the school. The EP then interjected with her thoughts- and to my surprise, I found myself agreeing with her! She agreed with my opinion that DS1 has real difficulty transferring rules from one situation to the next and that she thought it might be useful for him to get a helpful keyring- with cards on it, each printed with a situation on one side and how to handle it on the other ie: 'To get someone's attention' and 1) Say their name 2)If no response, repeat a little louder 3) If no response again, lightly touch their upper arm ...... That kinda thing. Her next suggestion was to print off rules and display them in each class (as there are some differences from lesson to lesson- ie English and Woodwork have rather different rules!!) Sounds fab to me- and I said so, but SWM said that DS! was a clever boy and started repeating hi=ow he has to realise he can't behave the way he did. ASL wifey then said that she wanted to move the focus on to resolution, and involved DS1 in wmaking a list of what had to be done for him to reattend. DS1 came up with several pertinent suggestions, ie-Apologise to teacher, Listen to adults in school, Adhere to the rules and so on. SWM then burst into another rousing chorus of 'He's a bright boy, and can't behave this way again', to which EP suggested that he was having real difficulty keeping hold of 'theory' when emotions went haywire. (This is a well-documented facet of DS1's behaviours- shouldn't be news to the school at all!) and wanted to get him started on a social skills programme- including social stories etc. .SWM's bristles rose again- "All our boys are on the spectrum!" she said."We're well used to dealing with their behaviours and have several resources for use with them. We have a dvd set called 'Mind Matters', produced by the autism research team at Oxford University, that teaches the boys how to recognise non-verbal and verbal cues and we find it very helpful." She then reverted to the chorus again- I was really feeling her defensiveness at this point, and a sense that she thinks my son is in control of his behaviour. Anyway, meeting was brought to an end with ASL wifey promising to type up the resolution agreement, and SWM left sharpish. (To be fair- this was during her holidays and she had a friend waiting for her in her car...) I really need some opinions- I apologise for the length of this post, but a huge part of me is angered by the Social Work Managers' attitude. I totally agree that my son has to realise that his actions have consequences. He has to take the repercussions on the chin. BUT: There is an obvious problem with the science class. My son is not behaving or coping as well in this class as he is in others. EP actually made a point I hadn't considered- that the more 'hands-on' approach in science and art is confusing for my son, that he might read this less rigid approach/atmosphere as equalling a relaxation in rules- the changes are confusing him. Doesn't excuse his behaviour, but I'd have thought the school representative should have come to the meeting wanting to a ) Resolve the why of the incident b ) Be open to suggestions/ideas that might prevent this happening again. c ) Be open to help from outside agencies. The EP seemed as shocked as I was that the SWM kept harping on the same line- she could not seem to accept that telling him 'Don't do it!' isn't going to work without putting supportive strategies in place to help him learn this/deal with possible flare up situations....... I want to contact the school next week and speak with someone other than the SWM. I want to get relay my dissatisfaction with her attitude and ensure that the strategies discussed at the meeting actually get put into place. Am I wrong to feel aggrieved by what happened? I just expected the SWM not to be so defensive, to welcome the chance to put heads together and come up with possible preventative/supportive actions. Meetings regarding exclusion should be about resolution, IMO- am I overreacting??? Sorry again about the length of this. Opinions gratefully received!!

My brother repeated primary One- this was in the mid 80's. He went from being the very, very youngest to the oldest but he didn't mind at all. TBH, in any class, the oldest kids are almosta year older than the youngest anyway, so I don't see that that would make any difference. Better to do this sort of thing when kids are younger than older, to save any teasing from their ex-classmates. I can honestly say that it did my brother the world of good- he just couldn't cope because he wasn't ready emotionally for school or anything..... I think the idea would be that you repeat a year and STAY with that year, barring extreme circumstances. And, just a personal opinion, mind- I don't see that it makes the child a year behind anything. Chronologically, they'll finish a year later than other children their age, but the whole point is to try and help them keep up with the work in class....... At any rate, you#'d have a fight on your hands to get this in Scotland, Justine. LEAs don't seem to like doing it, probably due to the extra cost and keeping a place...but it should be doable if you're willing to push rather hard. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, though. X

I have her new show recorded for my tellyviewing joy.......awful, I know, but it helps me to see that other people's kids are infinitely more awful than my own!!

Good luck, Tally. Be confident- you have very relevant experience and are more than capable- try and think of achievements from your last job that you can bring into the interview, such as, 'Well, I introduced a more space-efficient method of sacking tins that benefited all the warehouse staff....' or somesuch thing......and any training courses you were put through, like Health and Safety awareness, fire safety training, stock related stuff, make sure you talk about it!! You have lots to offer and believe me, most of us go into interviews pretending we feel a lot more confident/comfortable than we really do! Keeping my fingers crossed for you, pal! X

I bet you will!! Aw.....I hope the future turns out as well for my kids......although right now, their chief desire is to become a wrestling tag team in America!!! (And they keep trying to get practise in, too!!! Happy decorating!!

Oh, bum. Sorry to hear of your disappointment......how is Meg taking it? Poor lass...it's never easy to go through something that affects every part of your life, but even more so at her age. If she's anything like her Mum though, she'll rally splendidly! Hoping things get better soon fr you guys, Esther X

We all loved it- though I think the boys were just really taken with the mind-bogglingly lithe antics of the blue people! They'd like to BE one, now!!!

Heehee, nicely put, Badders!! Hmm....my son can be very insightful and we have the most insane conversations because he talks about topics most 12 year olds haven't even begun to touch on yet! Nice to hear about your son's achievements, AV16, he sounds like a wee star!

Capital point, Karen! Small received, this year, a wind up torch that will never run out of batteries. It also has two other special features. (Bear in mind wind up= unstoppable, yes?) Flashing blue light option ANNNNNND as an added Brucie bonus, a loud and particularly annoying siren function!!! Make....it.....stop! It has been strictly assigned to 'outdoor use only', as I can't stand the wretched thing..... I would've loved one as a child, though! Last year, I received the most horrendous 'old lady' patterned hand towels.....that went swiftly to charity! And OH's folks once gave him a black leather baseball cap- I was poorless!! How very YMCA!!!

Most of it, sadly, is long departed, but more because it got damp and mildewy, yuck!!! Cheers though, guys, everything's swell at the moment (Boom, boom!!!) I'm hale and hearty.....probably slightly too robust, but there's always the gym in 10 months time (Eek!) and the baby appears to be dandy too. Both boys are htrilled and expecting a sister for some weird reason. I have no idea what flavour we're getting- they don't tell you here (sonographers, that is, not foetuses!) so they've been warned they might not get what they're asking for. Funnily enough, I went into work today, resplendent in my new maternity breeks...(Can I just say, WHAT an improvement in bumpwear in the last 7 years! One can still retain one's inner rock chick! Not a dungaree or pastel rugby shirt in sight, thank Crunchie!!!) and one of the Primary 5 girls looked up at me and said.... 'You're not pregnant, are you???' I replied, 'Well, as it so happens, I am indeed!' Cue much girlish screaming from her and her friends (there are only 5 boys in this class of 24!) and chattering, then the same girl turned to me and said, 'Oh that's good. I didn't know if you were just really big or something....' I laughed till I cried!! Luv, hugs and thanks again compadres, Esther (and Baby Bob!!)