moira199

Thanks for all the encouraging replies - actually my son said 'Bye Bye' to his Nursery Teacher today and waved so who knows what it is the start of - normal conversation or echolalia! He has said one or two other words recently too 'Daddy' and 'Banana' so here's hoping ! Moira

Does anyone know if there are any statistics on the age by which ASD children start speaking? I have a non verbal son who is three and was wondering if there is an age by which I should stop hoping for the odd word or two? Does anyone have experience of the late development of speech? Thanks Moira

Yes - he will point at things outside of direct need, he does show us things like cars and planes in the sky. Everyone says my son is just slow because he is a boy too but I know theree is more to it. What age did your son start talking then ? Thanks very much for your reply Moira

My non verbal son (almost three) does point to show us what he wants or just for shared interest ( fire engine or plane in the sky). Is this a good sign that language might come eventually? I am getting a bit obsessed with this dilemma but it is so hard at times having a child who does not speak - as I am sure many of us know. He says Daddy quite a lot but so far no Mummy. He also points at pictures in books. Moira

My previously non verbal ds (almost 3) can now say about 12 words although not frequently. Does anyone know from experience what i can expect to happen. I know full communicative speech would be lovely but perhaps not likely given that he is ASD but what are the parameters of expectation ? Moira

Thanks again for all the great replies. It is so nice to hear from others who have struggled with the same issues and come out the other end with something tangible to write about !

Many thanks for all the kind replies. I do feel quite despairing at times ( all the time! ) The only positive sign of intereaction we get is that he nearly always looks up when he points to something in his book and waits with eye contact until the word is said. I keep thinking he must have some interest in language and the pointing is communicative but nothing else is all that encouraging in terms of getting communication going. Does anyone think it would be worthwhile making up a book of pictures of favourite items and giving him one if he points at it - even if at first it is not because he wants the item. Could this be another way to get him to learn to communicate his needs ? Many many thanks to one and all

Dear All, We have started PECS but have already hit the stumbling block that DS is keen to get the goodie ( chocolate or banana) but not so keen as to keep trying while being taught to exchange the card. The therapist seems quite inexperienced too which does not help ! Has anyone else had this problem and did you persevere ? I suppose it is a case of wanting too much too soon - not realistic I know but is there life without PECs? Moira

My son had a review by paeditrician/speech therapist recently but it was inconclusive as my son is a bit like your DD - there are some worrying signs such as lack of speech but his social interaction, eye contact, pointing, motor skills seem fine. I think there is a reluctance to diagnose much before the age of three. I know exactly what you mean about the worry though, it feels like this has been hanging over us for ages now! Moira

I haven't seen the film but it does seem that there are more and more books on the subject but they do not give the insight and information that you get from classics like 'George and Sam' or 'The Siege'. They are just the parents talking about themselves and not the wider context - although to be fair, I can't blame them really it's just that the end result is not as memorable or as long lasting.

Jo - If even you can feel guilt, it just shows how useless the guilt tripping is. I am sorry to hear of your experience and I very much appreciate your contribution to the debate. I will try to see wine in perspective from now on. Moira

I was definitely not on a bottle of vodka a day but at the time I believed the current advice that a small glass here or there was fine - I did have 2 small glasses while on holiday and this is what I cannot get out of my head but I will try to listen to your sweet reason. Moira

Wow - teens - where did you read about those cases ?

My brother was just like that particularly at the age of 13/14 ( He is ASD) but he did mellow out with time and while he will not write an emotional novel, his communication skills and co operation are far far better than they were. I do hope you find the same development. Moira

Dear Karin, That officially qualifies as a terrible week. I will remember you in my prayers and in the meantime, please accept my heartfelt good wishes and love for you and your family. Moira

Dear All, I feel terribly guilty that I drank some wine during pregnancy and I feel to blame for DS' condition, I know guilt is natural but I can't get it out of my mind. I know that everyone in southern Europe would be ASD if my theory was true but no rational thought can change my mind. Also my brother is autistic so genetics is far more likely but why won't the guilt go away? I feel I was selfish and cruel and cannot forgive myself. Moira

Hi Gerrard, I am based in Glasgow so welcome aboard ! There is Cafe Kudos - but I'm not sure of location but it must be in the Yellow Pages. Moira

How delayed can delayed be ? I have read accounts of ASD children starting to speak as late as five or six but is this really possible or just another urban myth about ASD ? Moira Hugs and Kisses to All, and moral support to all those who need it - that's all of us !

Following on from the ' Can it get worse' thread - Has anyone found that any problem got better with time! Here's Hoping! Apart from no speech, I would say that there has not been regress or progress in DS, we are in a holding position for now. Although some minor sensory issues have gone away so I suppose that is progress. Moira

Does anyone know if there are any decent pre school nursery options for ASD children? I know that state help is dependent on getting the DX which we don't have yet but are there such things as private nurseries that cater to developmentally delayed children? I have not been able to uncover much so suspect the answer is no ! Tx Moira

I hope all goes well - and that there is an end to this crazy situation. Moira

My brother is autistic so I believe in my rational moments that it is genetic but I still can't stop blaming myself because I drank some wine in pregnancy. I feel so bad about it all the time. Moira

I suppose I tend to see speech as the answer to everything but I can see from other postings that it's not, it's only part of the communication process. DS does have reasonable receptive language though so I get frustrated that he won't say even a single word. Still - as I said, it's not everything, it's all about building communication and we are starting PECS this week so here's hoping. Moira

I found this very moving. My situation is similar but different. My son is younger 2 1/2 and non verbal and although affectionate when he wants to be is not the 'open' child I would once have expected. Still, it's our life now and what else can you do except cope and look out for positive signs. I too fear that I will never really enter his world fully and it's hard to accept. Moira

I don't want to tie up all your time but I was interested to see that your DX is 'mild' - what does that mean really ?