Annea

Hi we went to discrimantion tribunal over this and won! to disciminate between a physical dissabilty and non physical is out right discrimination. That is a shocking reply! My daughter has just been awarded transport to her new college (100 miles) even before we have got funding for the further ed placement. I now have it in writing for the whole fot he time she is doing her post 16 studies A levels. If you contact IPSEA, they will be able to advise you on this, or I do know an independent advocate who helped us with our appeal and I am happy to pass his details on. Good luck with finding provision. we have got provision sorted jsut fighting the delay in funding now My daighter is going on from res pre 16 to res post 16 placement. Elizabeth www.realas.co.uk

Of other peopels struggles..... My daughter and I have set up a website, she tells her story on there through poetry (it is a work in progress with much more to be added) I know that our story is far from being unique, and I wondered if anyone wanted to share their own story especially regarding getting adequate education. I would love to add them to her web page, and they can be made anonymous if you prefer. Please PM me or email me if you would like to help. And please feel free to visit the web page so far. Elizabeth www.realas.co.uk

I agree with not taking it too personally and getting worked up about it. I was told the other day I was not allowed the teachers 'personal' email addresses when what i wanted was there school email addresses and only after I had been told by deputy head to speak to them! My first reaction was to feel " Oh my God they think I am a neurotic stalker" but then I sat back and thought... they are just being difficult..... again....... I sat in a meeting yesterday with the HT , Head of lower school, and two heads of departemnt whislt they were jsut firing information at me. I just let it wash over me..... I refuse to get pulled into their pettyness and I never argue with them. If they tell me I am wrong I jsut say, there's no law against a differing opinion. You sound like you are doing well, just keep writing thigns down, keeps lots of notes and dont get emotional. I have been 'through the process' once before with a daughter who is now settled at a priory school, but nothing changes I am still doing exatly the same thing now as then. Remember bullying isnt restricted to children it happens all the time when people feel threatened, just make it clear that thats how they are making you feel, it is their duty not to theaten you or make you feel threatened. Hope you get what you need. Elizabeth

Can I ask if anyone else is struggling at present with gaining funding for further education special education placements for September 2010? We are in Wales and awaiting a funding decision from DCELLS, it takes an extraordinary amount of time... is anyone in or out of wales still waiting for funding decisions? Or is there anyone out there who received their decisions quickly? I have asked to speak to Welsh AM's about the process but am still waiting for them to get back to me. www.realasco.uk

Thanks Tally, We are adding things all the time, it's not so much a resource for A/S more a peek at the other side of A/S the way we live each day. It never amazes me when i read on here all the stories.... the same issues come up over and over, and yet professionals still seem to think to tell us that we are the first ones to experience such things. Just since yesterday I have about 6 people who have said.... it's nice to know others feel the same.. Also I was thinking about what you wrote about her being determined. I don't know if she has always been like that, i think it's because having spent so many years being scared of her shadow, since being able to relax a bit, being in the new school, she has allowed herself to see her future for the first time. Oh, and she already has her place at college, just needs to get the results she needs at GCSE . (fingers crossed)

sorted, hopefull they can be viewed now?

Thanks Tally.... The way I was shown to embed the videos this wasnt clear.. I will go and sort this out now watch this space!

Hi Everyone, I don't post that often nowadays, and when I do its usually a crisis that brings me here. But if I may I would like to share a bit about how proud I am of my daughter. With a little help she has finished her website that is all about her life with Asperger Syndrome. I would like to invite you to take a look, please feel free to leave a comment in her guest book. She is only 15, and wishes to help to show people how hard it can be to live with Aspergers and to try to educate people about how their actions can be positive or negative. She has also written some poetry, there are linkis to her reading it... this is one of the few ways she can express her feelings and we are so proud. the link is www.realas.co.uk I hope its ok to post it here. xx To add, i am sure there are a lot of mistakes, but if you see any, can you email via the contact ont he site or pm me rather than put them in the guest book! Thanks

Thank you, and also for the info via PM ) Anne

Hi thanks for replying... Ok the problem I have with the school, is that they think I am a pain in the *** When my eldest daughter was having problems <she is now at a priory school which we were awarded at tribunal> They said she had no problems, lied to me constantly about her progress and of course ended up looking very silly.... So with this daughter, we are now back to square 1, with all hostility thrown in for good measure..... They havent said what level she is at, we don't do SATS in wales, but they say she has NO problems! and is working at a peer equivalent level.... I requested her school records recently, but they are unenlightening, and are mainly made up with tests they did with her to 'satisfy to themselves that she didn't need SA+ anymore' however, my daughter tells me she was helped a lot with these tests and she certainly can't do this work at home! All the time she was on SA+ she was not seen by the ed psych, but to be hnest, as the ed pysch was also heavily critisicisd at the hearing for my other daughter, she is very hostile to us too and less than helpful the times we have spoken on the phone. We can't get SALT assesssments done here, they just don't have the manpower unless achild waits for yars and I just can't do private right now.... I have searched the internet for resources so I can set up some sort of test to see'roughly' at what level she is working at, my idea of videoing the test was so that the LEA could not come back to me and poopoo it... I know from experience they will try every way to discreidt before they accept facts! The school will NOT help at all, I know the only way I can do this, is to prove the school have got it wrong. I will be asking for a stat assessment again<she was turned down last year> but I need some proof on my side as the school are certain that she is ok and back up their claims with assessment 'results' that 'prove' she is doing ok.... Can anyone point me to key stage resources so I can have her do some sort of testing??? Any other ideas also gratefully received! Thanks Anne The person that Helped me fight for the rights of my eldest daughter. http://www.educationadvocacy.co.uk/

I too had taxi issues when my daughter was in main stream. I was told that I should ask for a risk assessment which I did, I also supplied a letterf rom the paediatrician to say how the journey which would have been extended and with other children would cause her much undue stress and anxiety. Since the risk assessment was done by the transport manager who had no medical qualifications, he had no recourse but to abide by what the paediatrician said... So have you got someone who can speak up for you about the affect the new arrangemnt will have on your son? By experience, I have learned that once you have tried a situation, even for a trial, it is very very difficult to get them back down as they will use every which method 'to prove' that a child is fine... I had a very supportive taxi driver who was on my side too.... I know the above poster said you shouldn't fight using what if's and indeed it is more difficult, BUT my argument against this when discussing Taxi transport.. was.... How many of us would put our children into a situation where there was a high chance that something could cause harm, or psychological damage? We all know our individual children better than anyone else.... so if you really believe that there would be a problem including psychological harm, then we have the right to say "NO -I will not jsut wait and see if he/ she ges harmed, I don't want to chance it! Use the medical/ pyschology reports you have to back up your case, we don't always have to wait and see, somethings are disasters waiting to happen and without a doubt many LEA's will gamble with our children's welfare on the off chance that they will save a few pounds.... What I would say to you is look closely at your argument.... saying that children in care might cause trouble, just because they are that sort of child, is an unlightened way to think, after all there but for the grace and all ... any of our children could be in that situation.... Also don't presume that your child will have issues with certain children based on the fact that he might have stressful journey times.... the lEA could argue this could actually bond the children.... Take a look at your real fears.... For instance my daughter had huge anxiety levels and when she could no longer cope, she would run... the time between school and home.... was an incredibly important time of her day, when she was alone in the car and had a half hour where she could wind donw and process her day un interrupted.... if this time was disturbed for instance if the taxi driver started chatting to her, she became very distressed.. so our fears were based purely on her needs and her reactions when things went wrong.... Be careful how you argue a case, because sometimes we don't put the right points accross even though our fears are founded and we can end up being shot down purely because we have used the wrong argument.... Good look and if you still have prpblesm try one of the many organisations or an educational advocate to help you fight your sons case. Anne The person that helped us survive the education system http://www.educationadvocacy.co.uk/

Hi Everyone and Happy New year to you all... Now I have my 14 yr old settled at her Priory school, I am trying to get My 11yr old daughter sorted... We are still not sure about whether she has ASD BUT she sure does have a lot of problems I recognize from my eldeset daughter... However the problem I have right now is her progress in school... She is 11... She can not recite the months of the year unprompted, and if I were to ask her for instance... How many months is it until June.... She would really struggle to answer.... She can now tell the time but only the main times such as oclock, half and quarters.... and she has no real grasp of how long an hour is etc.... now she has other various problems but the problem I have is that Her school say she is meeting ALL necessary targets... When I ask My daughter how she is able to do things at school but not with me, she tells me ' But my teacher helps me get the right answer!' Now this doesn't surprise me as I have stood outside the class when a spelling test is going on and the teacher will say something like... Ok spell Went.... thats W-e-n-t pronouncing each part of the words phonetically <hope thats not confusing> and so not surprisingly, most of the kids get good marks in their tests.... However when I say to her "spell.... Went.. in a clear and normal voice", she wouldn't have a clue.... So my question is..... How can I prove that actually my daughter is NOT achieving what they claim? I have thought about doing a short video <my daughter is happy for me to do this of her doing a test at home> so they can see how she 'tests' under normal circumstances..... I feel I would then have the right to say to them... "prove the same for school" Any other ideas??? Also can someone point me in the direction for where I can find tests in spelling and maths that are suitable for level 6? At present she doesn't even know her two times tables.... she can't count in 5's she can do her 10. s but is sometimes caught out if I said for instance... what is 11 x 1 she would say...mum you know I don't know my 11 times tables!" Because she just doesnt realise that its her 1 times tables infact! I just want to be able to demonstrate the places that she is struggling clearly and concisely and also highlight where she is doing really well, preferably before she goes to secondary school and ends up under acheiving. In other areas such as science..... she will have indeapth conversations at quite a deep level and has an excellent grasp of History.. it seems that it is definitely a sequencing issue she has..... They have told me i should accept that maybe she just isn't bright, and if thats the case that is ok... but if she is and they are just not recognizing a problem.. I feel this is really wrong.... All help would be greatly received as I am meeting with school and LEA in two weeks and want to get all my facts straight before this meeting! Thanks in advance Anne The person that Helped me fight for the rights of my eldest daughter. http://www.educationadvocacy.co.uk/

Hi everyone, Thanks so much for your good wishes.... A few people have asked me about what experts we had in the hearing so I will put it in here, If I put anything in here that isn't allowed please moderators accept my apologies and feel free to edit.... We were entitled to legal help, which allowed us to get private reports from a speach language therapist, OT, Ed Psych and Psychiatirst. The experts we had were extremely good and very well versed in the way that tribunals are won.... If anyone wants the details of the experts we used, please feel free to email me or PM me through here and I will give you contact details. As you probably all know that even with legal aid, you are not covered for legal representation at a hearing, so we used an independant representative who is very qualified at Appeal hearings, case preperation etc, He covers, Dissability discrimination cases, exclusions in fact all SEN matters. This option is much more affordable than having to pay for a lawyer at a hearing. Personally we couldn't afford for a solicitor to take on the hearing, it was just way out of our price range.. If anyone wants this representatives details, once again, let me know and I will pass his details on to you. Hope this doesn't sound like a commercial... I am just so still overwhelmed with how supportive all these wonderful people are, that I want to sing their praises from the roof tops..... To anyone out there (and I know there are many) who are still fighting their cases...... it really can be done!!! There have been so many times where I have been in deep despair that an end was in site, having my name dragged through the mud with lies, I have spent days on the phone over the past two+ years and honestly at times thought I was going crazy .... (and I know many of you must know this feeling too) BUT if we can get through it , anyone can! I am not the font of all knowledge, it would be arogant to suggest I am, but I have been through two hearings now and have fought both a dissability discrimination case and an appeal against an inadequate statement.. so if what I have learnt can help anyone else, please do ask.... all our cases are different, but I might be able to give a few tidbits that can help you know which way to turn.... Please free to pm if you want to know how we managed any particualr thing.... Anyway....... We have got a date already!!!!!! Our dd will be starting her new placement next week!!!! Just a few day's initially, then the following week a couple of days and a couple of nights, then starting fully after the half term!!! It is a very exciting and nervous time for us all..... Anne xx

More good news! Good luck and I hope she is very happy in her new school. xx

Hi Bid, i havent asked about the hamster, I just presumed that it would be the case... I will ask tomorrow..... thanks you xx

Thank you all so much for your responses. I am definitely going to get one of the photo display thingies.. it looks great. As for washing, she will be coming home each weekend and as such she will bring her washing with her when she comes home. I am hoping she will get over the fussiness regarding washing etc.. but for now it will work. Bid, yes the grounds and house are very beautiful, one of the reasons she was so taken with it, because she is extremely active and runs all the time to release pent up energy. C is still their although to date I have only communicated with B who seals with admissions, but she is lovely too. My dd is lucky in that due to the long time this has taken, she has had about 5 visits to the school inc some over nights.... The only huge sticking point for us now, is that she is very close to her Hamster and is very worried about leaving her behind. It's a shame they don't have some sort of place where caged pets can be kept, as I think that looking after pets is an excellent way to develop skills in responsibility. She hasn't taken any options as yet even though she is supposed to be in her first GCSE year, so she is looking forward to knowing exactly what lessons she will be able to sit. I am a bit calmer today, but she is all over the place right now. Must be a huge shock to her after such a long wait. Anne x

have a tear in my eye right now..... I will reply properly later xx

Hi Flora, no start day yet, we have to wait for LEA to contact the school and set wheels in motion. Due to her anxiety issues we are planning to have her in for a few days, just day time, then a few days with nights before she starts proper, just to ease her in. I am also going to set up a family blog site < anyideas of good ones appreciated> So that she will be able to see what we are all up to and alos be able to post what she has been up to.. so she doesn't feel excluded. She is 14, which is a tough age anyway I think, so slowly slowly.. I have already gone over some of the important things, preparing her that she may panic at first, and we worked through what to do in these circumstances. I am actually quite tough on her, as I need for her to start ot be strng now she is getting older. Anne x

Thanks everyone!!! Bid, I have my daughter going to the same one as your son went to It has begun to sink in a little now, so I am starting to make preperations for her. It is very scary preparing for a teen to leave home isn't it? But I know this is the right thing.... Anyone any tips to help with transistion? Anne x

Hi Stressed to mum This has been a long long battle, I first tried to get statement 4 yrs ago!!! We had a diss discrimination appeal against the school last year which we won, but our daughter was becoming more and more stressed to the point of near break down last easter. She had not attended school since.... The sad thing is, their re thousands of familes accross the UK fighting the same fight, and all I can say, Is just do it step by step one day at a time.... There is an end eventually.... Good luck to everyone still battling And thanks to you all for your congrats.... I am still in shock! Anne xx

As many of you know, we went to tribunal at the beginning of September to appeal against section 2,3 and 4 of our daughters statement... It has been a long wait... BUT WE WON!!!!!! She will now be attending one of the Priory schools and we are thrilled to have come to the end of this exhausting journey!! Thanks to everyone who sent well wishes Anne xx

Hi Kathryn There were a lot of pregant pauses and a few red faces. At least 5 hrs was taken up with the rewriting of the statement as it had NO specicifity<?sp> It was a case of write some stuff, then get back together and discuss, it was very tedious. I am going to try to rest as havent slept much for days, but I think it will take me a few days to get over it! x

Hi everyone, Just a quickie but to let you all know we just got back form the appeal. It was quite surreal the last few days as on Frday the LEA requested an adjournment so we had a whole weekend of uncertainty until we found out yesterday the appeal was infact going ahead the adjournment having been refused. I then heard yesterday that the LEA intended to bring in a addition witness today and ontop of all this CHANGE their whole submission and change their named school!!! YES it really was attempted. Anyway, the panel asked the LEA why they wanted the new school and they LEA stated they no longer felt the named school could give our daughter what she needed, the panel however turned around and said in the cirumstances <won't go into it here for fear of breaching confidentiality> they would not grant the additional witness, OR allow a change of names school.... So if you have followed this so far, the LEA were left to fight for a school that they had just admitted couldnt supply necessary education! The LEA were given time to decide ont heir options and we were sure they would conced, but instead, they came back and said they wanted to continue and fight for the namd school. At the end of the hearing some 8 hrs later!!!! The LEA had declared the school not fit forpupose then spent that long arguing it's case!!!! Go figure! We still have to wait for upto 10 days for a decision but I am so keeping all my fingers crossed. Our daughter had been out of school for 7 months now and the school we have a place for is one of the priory schools. Anyway, need to sleep! Will let you all know the result, but keep your fingers crossed for us! Thanks Annex Apologies for spelling as having read this back it is full of typos, but I am too tired to correct them all. x

Hi Vicky, Firstly big hugs and take a deep breath!! Many of us are have been or will be in the same palce you are..... You see the LEA don't want to have to fund anything for our children's welfare and you only have to read the hundreds of stories here to know that it is finances and not our children that come first in the education system.... Now, all isn't lost.... What you need now is to decide to lodge an appeal... This is where you go in front of a panel and prove that your child does in deed need extra help over and above what can be supplied in school without a statement. I would advise you to speak to somebody as soon as possible to get your options straight, the appeal process in England is changing and I don't know the new rules, But where ever you live, their are strict rules and time limites for getting your note of appeal in and your evidence submitted. I would advise tyou to contact IPSEA or another organisation as soon as possible. It is a very daunting process to go through alone (although many people do go it alone it's nice to have some support) Don't wait till school restarts to take advice Vicky as although you might think that the school are on your side, sometimes they will side with the LEA when pressure is applied, and you will have lost valuable time. And I don't care what anyone say's a non statemented child will NEVER get the same help and provision as a statemented child <we were assured our daughter would> When our statement was first turned down, we took the LEA to tribunal, and as soon as we did, the LEA backed down and decided to assess our daughter, unfortunately the statement was so weak it was useless so we are now back in tribunal appealing against the content on September 9th. Remember all isn't lost, so take a deep breath and begin to document everything! Gather your evidence and do take advice. If you are on means tested benefit you might be able to get legal help and this is invaluable as you can get further independent testing and assessment paid for. If not their are planty of charities such as IPSEA who will help you with any questions you might have. Good luck and remember ask loads of questions here as so many of us are going throught he same thing. Anne x

Hi JSmum, We are in a similar situation, our appeal is the 2nd week in september for a special placement. The difference is that our daughter has refused to go to school since Easter so isn't expected in at the beginning. Where ours gets strange is that, we have been told that as the LEA want our daughter back in the school she is refusing to go to, and have named that school in her statemnt and in the appeal case statement, if we are found against, and the panel says she must go back to main stream, it will be my respinsibilty apparently to get her back in or i could be prosecuted!!!! And I must admit that is definately time in prison i would be happy to do if it protected her from the stress she was suffering until she left. When our daughter first stopped going to school her paediatrician had to sign her off sick so we weren't reported for her non attendance. But if you go down this route and are found against, then it could make things much harder for JS to go back to school. Its a catch 22, we are forced to 'harm' our kids by forcing them into a school that is totally inappropriate, and if we don't do that, then we can be punished, and meanwhile nothing gets solved for the children,. Sorry i haven't really given any advice. But good luck with your appeal.. i hope your preperation is going well... do you have representation or legal help? feel free to PM me if yu want to compare notes..... what date is your appeal? Anne x