V1971

You are funny!

Thanks Billabong.

Thank you very much!! I have never been to Morrison's, but there is one 10 mins away, I'll have a look.

I also had my son tested by Sunderland University and after removing gluten from his diet I noticed he seems happier and talks more. His tummy is not as big either.

They changed the ingredients, I am so mad! It was the only GF pasta my son ate because it didn't become glue like some others. They have changed the ingredients to just corn and rice - it looks bright yellow and turns chewy. Why?? I wanna cry. Which GF pasta do you use?

bid ~ I know that he can't change and I don't expect him to. But we were becoming strangers and it could not go on. I know he is an intelligent adult, that's why I married him, and no I am not patronising him, I am only trying to save my marriage by getting him to accept what he is so we can move on. The last week has been great, he's finally accepted his diagnosis, he says he feels liberated and now understands why he struggled so much as a child and why he is always so anxious etc. He won't stop thanking me, he says he is very fortunate to have a wife like me and now appreciates everything I do for him and our family. That in itself means a lot to me. We are reading books together and we will try the couseling and see what happens. Thanks everyone. Delyth - I am in North London N12. I'll have a look at that website, thank you!

That is wonderful!!

Thank you both for your comments. Yes, I told DH many times how I feel, he seems to understand when I talk to him, but nothing ever changes. I am fed up of asking for hugs or even for him to listen to me when I talk. I am emotionally deprivated and feel exhausted. I will call the psycologist to see if how she help us, otherwise I'll look into Relate. Thank you, I really appreciate it.

DH has been diagnosed as AS. I suspected this for a long time and it's a weight off my shouders. DH's reaction was 'hmm..interesting'. That's it, he hasn't said anything since. That was a week ago. We are being offered relationship counseling at our local hospital. I am not sure if the phsycologist we'll be seeing is familiar with AS, I'll phone up to ask. Just so that you know, our marriage is not exactly a 'marriage'. We live like two individuals, lead separate lives in fact. I have my friends, he has his computer. I do everything for the family, make sure bills are paid, DYI, raise son, take decisions about everything, he just goes to work. As long as he can be at his computer, he is happy. We sleep in separate rooms (my choice). It's because am being resentful, I can't help it. When he's home, he is always at his computer and hardly ever talks to me. When we do talk, it's like a monologue on my side. I have a 5 yr old autistic son who takes all my energy. I am willing to try couseling to see if I can get through to my husband, but I am not very hopeful. Anyone else tried it successfully? If the consultant is not trained in dealing with AS, should I still go?

{{Thanks Donna}}. I don't know my GP that well and I hate asking for stuff, but I may just have to suck it up and do it.

It was the first time and he did great, I was very proud. However, when we got back to the changing room he started moaning because he could hear a baby crying in the background (he hates that), I reassured him that it would stop soon and started to get dressed. There was a woman next to us who obviously didn't like his moaning (it wasn't loud, just annoying), she offered him some raisins saying that maybe it would help. I said 'no, thanks', he is not hungry. She then proceeded: 'they are very healthy, you know'. I say 'I know but this is not the right time'. She then asks: 'what language is he speaking anyway?' I look at her and say 'err..English' she goes 'oh, it sounds more like Portuguese to me'. I explained that he doesn't speak very well. She goes 'how come, how old is he?' Ughhhh! I say '5, but he is autistic and still learning to speak'. There you go. That shut her up. She was actually very sweet after that and kept on telling me how gorgeous he was etc., but I am just fed up of people interfering. I get this all the time. I know that you understand.

The application for my son was turned down, I got it 2 days ago. I am so disappointed. He gets higher rate for care component and low for mobility. I don't know what to do now.

Thank You very much everyone, I have located a private clinic and will start saving up for a private assessment. baddad ~ no worries, I knew exactly what you meant

Poor thing, what a horrible thing to happen. It happened to my husband a few years back too, but it was only �10 or so. I am glad to hear that the man that scammed the autistic girl got caught!!

Thanks everyone for your input, it means a lot to me. Flora ~ may I ask you how much it costs to go private? I wouldn't know where to start, did you ask the NAS? BTW I went to the appointment with him and gave my input, I even tolod the pshychiatrist that I thought that DH ticked the wrong boxes in the questionnaire because I disagreed with most of them, but he said that the answers had to come from him? baddad ~ I totally appreciate what you are saying, but I promise you it is not all in my head. I had 4 different people asking me if DH is on the spectrum because he is very much like my son and another 3 asking me why is my DH so shy because 'he doesn't look at them in the eyes' their words, not mine. My son's Developmental Paeditrician also thinks that DH is on the ASD spectrum, but says she can't officially diagnose adults. My inlaws say that they never thought that DH would leave their home, never mind marry, because he was a very odd child....It's very frustrating! The phsychiatrist asked DH 'so, if you didnh't talk until age 4, how did you cope at nursery?' as if my DH could actually remember how he was at nursery (!!) he should have asked my MIL instead. Of course DH said he couldn't remember and as far as he knew he was ok other feeling anxious all the time. My MIL should have been there to answer those questions. As far as his adult life, I commented on the fact that he doesn't have (or maybe doesn't show) empathy and I feel emotionally lonely. DH said that he does have empathy but doesn't show it because he is lazy and can't be bothered. That explains wht he did not check on me when I fell down the stairs, he says that if I am in pain I have to ask for help, if not he assumes I am ok. The phychiatrist said that because he said he HAS empathy but CHOOSES not to show it, it must be a relationship problem Anyway, I am actually looking forward to going to marriage counselling because I want to be able to understand him and viceversa. I love my husband and want to make my marriage work. I will go private if necessary, not sure how to go about it or whether I can afford it yet. Thanks for listening, it means the world to me.

I persuaded DH to go for an assessment as I believe he is in the spectrum (and he believes it too). He was referred to see a phsychiatrist at the hospital. The phsychiatrist introduced himself saying that he wasn't qualified to diagnose for ASD but he would do his best as there is no one in our area on the NHS that can do it. To my disbelief, he said that DH is not AS. He scored 23 on the test (the cut off is 30) but what the specialist didn't realise is that DH picked the wrong answers because contrary to what he thinks, he does not make good eye contact. He thinks he has/shows empathy, whereas in fact he doesn't etc. so he would have scored over 30 if he had picked the right answers! To recap, DH didn't talk until he was 4, was and still is very anxious, has no confidence, never played with other children or siblings, ate banana sandwiches only until age 16, other food would make him gag, had sensory issues, hated social gatherings, had and still has obsessions that take over his life, has a brilliant memory and knows all our friends number plates, tel numbers, birthdays and star signs, when he was a child he would line up bricks all day long instead of playing with siblings, he shows no empathy....the list goes on. How can he NOT be in the spectrum?? The phsychiatrist suggested that we go for marriage counselling instead. Anyone has any advice on what I should do now, other than crying LOL. Do I go see someone else or do I resign to the fact that my life with my son and husband is different? And how do I cope in all of this?? Thanks for listening.

I am in the same boat, my son has ASD, my husbands is probably AS and so is FIL, so the chances of having another child on the spectrum are quite high. I don't know if I'd be able to cope with another ASD child...Look forward to hearing what other people experiences are.

Oh yes, my son is obsessed with doors, dishawasher, washing machine, helicopters, airplanes, buses and motorbikes. Pearl ~ I laughed so hard at your comment about Comet, my son loves it there too! He will move on from his obessins every couple of months, just like that, it is really bizarre and will find new obsessions of course.

Thanks everyone, I think I won't say anything for now but drop hints occasionally.

Thanks, I am really torn. I wouldn't go as far as mentioning the 'A' word. I was thinking of asking about her son and when she starts complaining about his behaviour suggest that maybe she should talk to a professional for advice. Maybe she'll get the hint. I was in her shoes 2 years ago and it was only when an online friend hinted that my boy could be autistic that the penny dropped and it was the best thing it could have happened to us. He got the help that he needed and is doing great. Everyone else was always finding excuses like 'nah, he is just a stubborn little boy, nah he'll learn to talk you'll see etc.' even my GP hadn't spotted it. So if I was her, I'd want to be told, but not everyone is the same. Decisions, decisions....

I met a girl through a friend of mine who has a boy aged 4 who, in my eyes, has ADHD and possibly ASD. The mother is at her wits end but always finds excuses for her son's beahviour, hyperactivity and naughtiness. Everything he is/does screams ASD to me and I am wondering whether I should be saying something. like that she should talk to her GP. I don't want to offend her, but the kid needs help and his Mom a wake up call. What would you do?

I got my renewal form too, I can't believe it has been nearly a year. I didn't realise that you have to renew it every year? It's such a long, boring form, I am dreading it. But es, I too am going to look at what I wrote last year. Good luck everyone!

I can't believe how little support some of you got! Since G goT his diagnosis last year, we have been seeing specialist all the time: S&L every week, specialist advisory teacher 3 times a week (1:1), Paed every 6 months (more often on the phone), OT every month or so, Educational Phsycologist whenever needed, I can't complain. Now that he is in school, he has full-time support and still sees his advisory teacher every couple of weeks, as well as his S&L therpist 4 weeks per term. He also sees his Paed every 6 months and everyone else is just a phone call away and meetings can be arranged quickly. We are very lucky indeed!

My son is short for his age, he has always been in the 5th centile. I am 5'9" and DH is 6' 2". I don't know who he is taking after, everyone else is tall in our family.

Does he like strawberries? Hi v1971 - I had to take the link out of the thread as forum rules prohibit direct links to commercial sites, but I have forwarded it to Liz via PM L&P BD