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Gordie

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Posts posted by Gordie

  1. Posted · Edited by Gordie · Report reply

    Hi, all. :)

     

    I used to be an active member here many years ago - most of you on here now probably won't recognise me, as I haven't visited at all for years.

     

    But I was drawn back here tonight having just seen a repeat on BBC One of the documentary, The Autistic Me, originally broadcast back in 2009.

     

    The end of the programme gave us an update on how the various participants in it had fared in the years since its original broadcast. While most had fared well, we learned that Alex, who had Asperger's Syndrome (like me), sadly died in January of this year, having "had a sudden epileptic seizure and passed away in his sleep". :( The programme was then dedicated to Alex.

     

    I expect many of you on this forum will have watched the programme at some point, either in 2009 or tonight, and will be sad to learn of this news. Or if you'd like to watch it now, maybe to remember Alex, it's available now on the BBC iPlayer, at this location, until April 23rd.

     

    The reason I was drawn back here was because one of the other people featured in the programme, Kirsty, is a member of this forum too, with the username "Special_talent123". It looks like she last posted on the forum last August. In The Autistic Me, she was Alex's potential love interest.

     

    Kirsty, if you ever still look in here, I don't know how things between you and Alex progressed, but if you were still in touch with Alex at all, then I'm sorry for your loss - he seemed like a really lovely guy, and I could relate to a lot of his experiences.

     

    Rest in peace, Alex. :(

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Hallelujah ... FINALLY someone else in my boat, who struggles to feel emotions.

     

    This never used to be an issue for me as a child, but I'd say my emotional peak was at around the age of 16. If only I knew then that I'd only feel emotions for a limited period. :unsure: I later suffered from depression while at university (aged 18 and beyond), but this was also when my emotions, both positive and negative, started to fade, slowly but surely. And, now I'm 30, a situation has to be pretty extreme for me to feel anything now. It's a pretty sad existence I live these days. :(

     

    I'd gladly take back the negative stuff, maybe even depression, to have positive emotions back again. Now I don't feel worry, anger, depression; spiders don't even scare me the way they used to(!) ... all great, you might think, but I also don't feel motivated, excited, passionate, enthusiastic, and I can't love any more either - I can forget about holding down a relationship with a girl in the future - that's all in the past for me now. I have no ambition in life, no desire to better myself. I'm just an inhuman zombie.

     

    It's not a case of being unable to label or identify my emotions. I just don't feel them.

     

    A good example of this was when I was doing a bungy jump on New Zealand last year. Normally, I expect I'd be scared witless at the prospect of jumping off a bridge with only a rope around my ankles to restrain me. But instead, I felt nothing until I was literally on the edge of the plank, about to jump - then it was finally extreme enough for me to feel the fear. But I still jumped right on the '3' of the count to 3, so it can't have affected me that much.

     

    I've always thought this was more than just Asperger's, as most of the Aspies I know still feel a full range of emotions, just like I did half a lifetime ago. But, despite the unfortunate circumstances, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one in this particular boat.

  5. Posted · Report reply

    Yes - here I am again, popping in as usual just to leave a note about some topical TV coming up soon! :D

     

    • Sunday, April 3rd @ 9pm (130 mins), Sky Atlantic (& HD):
      "Temple Grandin" (UK premiere)
      - Claire Danes gives a Golden Globe-winning performance as the autistic woman who broke down barriers to become a celebrated academic. Inspirational biopic with Julia Ormond.
      - http://skyatlantic.sky.com/temple-grandin
       
    • Sunday, April 3rd @ 11:10pm (125 mins), Sky Atlantic (& HD):
      "Autism: The Musical"
      - Moving, Emmy-winning documentary about pioneering techniques being used to help autistic children interact socially while expressing themselves creatively through musical theatre.

    'Spect you'll need your Sky+ * for these! (Or they might appear on Sky Anytime and/or Sky Player, for those that can access them.)

     

    (* = other PVRs are available)

  8. Posted · Report reply

    I presume the van driver just didn't see the zebra crossing (not very observant of him, but still possible), and therefore thought you were just some casual pedestrian, wandering across the road without a care in the world about any traffic that might be approaching. :whistle:

     

    Reminds me of the time I was driving on the top level of our Tesco car park, on a two-way section of road, where the road markings aren't as clear as they ought to be. A driver came round a corner in the opposite direction to me, coming almost head-on towards me. :o I slowed down and he got out of the way in time without any harm being done, but not without him giving me all sorts of grief for driving in what he thought was the wrong direction on a one-way bit of road. But it's definitely two-way, and the road markings were there, albeit faded. :rolleyes:

     

    First of all they weren't traffic cops

    The amount of paperwork they would need to complete is horrendous

    The incident would not help them meet any of their targets

    They were going off shift and no longer get overtime

    They've just received their notices that they are at risk of redundancy

    They should have been off shift hours ago

    and/or were generally fed up

    Blimey - did Mumble hit a raw nerve there?! :lol:

     

    James

  9. Posted · Report reply

    Like the new colour scheme, but can you please put the furniture back where it was; I can't find anything and I keep tripping over!! :rolleyes:

    You should be used to that if your avatar is anything to go by! :D;)

     

    have meds that make me even more dolarry than usual :wacko:

    Hmmm ... I thought the word was "doolally" ...

     

    Worst - somewhere high up in the air that rather quickly became not as high up as it should have been - theme park pirate ships are going to seem so tame after a commercial jet playing 'let's see what happens if we stop flying for a while and the captain panics' :shame:

    Oh, God - I soooooo detest those horrendous pirate ships at theme parks! Worst rides ever invented! :sick: So if your "plane plunge" was worse, then ... whoa ... :o

     

    James

  10. Posted · Report reply

    I might be starting on Prozac soon, as I seem so emotionless. Apparently it's something of a "stimulant", unlike all the other anti-depressants I used in the past. Any emotion, even a negative one, would be an improvement on this dull existence I currently inhabit. :rolleyes:

     

    Mine's a very different situation to what you're suffering though, as you're clearly feeling something: something very negative and low. :(

     

    Honestly, you might expect behaviour, like that which you describe, from strangers and the general public ... maybe even occasionally from your friends, but from your family?! That's pretty poor. :shame:

     

    James

  12. Posted · Report reply

    I watched tonight ... and I never watch it! :D I knew it was Peggy's last episode though, and thought I had to give her a good send-off really. :notworthy: Quite emotional, as you say. :tearful: She was like the central character of the whole soap really - that's the impression I got anyway, from never watching it. :lol: It'll be interesting to see how it progresses without her - no wonder they felt they had to drag back some other old characters next week, to keep people tuned in! :lol: The state of Phil was funny, by the way. :D

     

    Didn't see the big explosion last night, but I knew about it.

     

    James

  13. Posted · Report reply

    Also, I think in the old forum, where is said next to a topic in the i.e. General Forum list 'Last post by (i.e.) Mumble', you used to be able to click on 'Mumble' and it went to that last post, but now it goes to the individual's profile instead - doesn't really matter, will just take some getting used to and there's probably some people now who are wondering why it looks like I've been stalking them!! :lol: :lol:
    If you click on the title of the thread instead of the username, it should take you to the first post you haven't read yet.

    Tally's tip is probably more useful, but, to be totally pedantic, as you did ask specifically about the last post in a thread, you can get to that by either clicking on the right-pointing arrow or the timestamp in the line above the username. (Hovering over either shows: "View last post" or "Go to last post", so you know you're in the right place.)

     

    And, while I'm at it, re: what Tally said (sorry, Tally!! :unsure:), clicking on the thread title will only take you to the first post in the thread, whether you've read it or not. You can only get to the first unread post by clicking on the right-pointing arrow just to the left of the thread title. (Hovering over that arrow shows: "Go to first unread post".) :D

     

    Sorry, really fussy now, but I can't change the language to English (UK) from English (USA). I don't think it makes much difference unlike English (pirate) which I use for Facebook!!! - Now the forum in pirate - that would be interesting! :ph34r:

    I actually prefer English (US) on Facebook to English (UK). Things just seem to be formatted better, particularly the dates on timestamps. I'd rather have that and deal with the Americanisms than switch to British English. :lol:

     

    James

  14. Posted · Report reply

    Ohhh - I can totally relate to this.

     

    I go to a monthly social group for people with Asperger's. As we know, everyone's different, and that includes Aspies.

     

    One though, who I think is actually a savant (whether that's ever been confirmed, I don't know, but he can instantly recall the day of the week for any date on the calendar in just about any year), has these really strange things he doesn't like other people doing, for example: taking holidays for more than 2 weeks, getting tattoos done, going to the Glastonbury Festival (he thinks it's rubbish, therefore no-one else should be remotely interested either), etc. :wacko: Totally random things. They make him feel so uncomfortable that he actually left Facebook because he hated seeing people doing those things. He felt he had to "call" them on it on each occasion, which inevitably led to angry reactions, and they're not enjoyable for anyone to read.

     

    But at these group meetings each month, he always goes on and on about these things, "hogging" the conversation, and "hogging" the people sitting near him with these "topics". :rolleyes: He added a new one this month as well: not liking seeing primary school girls wearing summer dresses (he'd rather they wear trousers). :blink: So there's your socially inappropriate stuff as well. :unsure: It's all quite jovial and funny to listen to at first - maybe once or twice, but it's really wearing thin now that I've been going on and off for a few years. I'd quite like to talk to some of these other people that he's "hogging" about more interesting things, or just different things would be nice! But it's impossible. And he does my head in. :wallbash: It rather ruins the whole experience for me. :(

     

    And sometimes when he says these things make him uncomfortable, he adds, "... because it's part of my Asperger's Syndrome". Well, yes - it's part of yours, but I would hope he doesn't think that's part of everyone's, and I would hope he doesn't convince neuro-typicals that that's the case either. :unsure:

     

    This is just once a month (and I don't even go every month), and in a group specifically for people with Asperger's, so you have my sympathy in an ongoing situation with a more "general" group of friends! :hypno: Can't really offer you any advice though, I'm afraid. I just cringe my way through the evening each month, grit my teeth, grin and bear it. :rolleyes:

     

    James

  16. Posted · Report reply

    The best part was when I saw Chris Packham signing calendars and there was only a really short queue of about 3 people, so I bought one and got him to sign it. I went all shakey because of the heat and I must have turned a bit green because he got up and made me sit in his chair. So it was mostly just a very embarrassing experience really.

    Chris Packham: legend. :D Vague memory now, but I probably saw him (yeah - that vague a memory! :lol:) when he co-hosted The Really Wild Show on CBBC, waaaaaay back in the day, coz (for some reason) my class at primary school were picked to go in the audience at BBC Bristol. Probably late-1980s, as I'd have been in junior school then, somewhere between the ages of 7 and 11, I suppose. My strongest memory of that day was the moody director, who shouted at us all to shut up coz we were being noisy kids (not me, of course - I was way too quiet to ever be noisy!) and they couldn't do any filming till we were quiet. :blink: Of course one of the more child-friendly presenters (whichever the female one was at the time - not Michaela Strachan) then tried to encourage us to be quiet a little more gently. There was lots of waiting around in boring rooms that day as well. But, for some reason, Chris' presence didn't really stick in my mind. :unsure: Still a legend though. :D

     

    James

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Well I'm not a great source of information here, having not been through many job interviews.

     

    But I've always mentioned my Asperger's ahead of, or in, interviews, with both positive and negative results. Obviously it depends entirely on the interviewer/employer involved. I've always wanted to be honest about it, and it might've just heaped more pressure onto me if I hadn't mentioned anything, and tried that much harder to appear "normal". At least it can be taken into consideration if I'm straight with them about it, even if they become reluctant to employ me as a result.

     

    I remember one interview in 2001, less than a year after my diagnosis, ahead of an industrial placement for the third year of my uni degree, where I had support from an occupational therapist, who told him in advance that I had Asperger's, and told her afterwards that he'd never have guessed I had any such issues if he hadn't been told about them! :o So that was entirely positive, and I got a 3-month full-time job as a result. :)

     

    And in 2006, I got a 6-month job at the very agency that was supporting me to find work! :lol: Obviously in that line of work, they were always gonna be understanding, so it was quite a comfortable interview, as well as successful. Nice people too - really down-to-earth. :)

     

    But it hasn't always been positive. There was one guy who didn't even call me back or write to me to let me know the outcome of the interview. But I accept that that can be common with any interviewee, not just those with autism/Asperger's. And it can't have helped that I missed the initially scheduled interview, for whatever reason (can't remember now), and had to have it rescheduled. To be honest, I'd probably been discarded before I even walked through the door that day. :rolleyes:

     

    So there ya go - a few of my personal experiences. I think you just have to go with whatever you feel most comfortable with. No matter what you do, some people will be more understanding and accepting than others. You've just gotta shrug it off and move on. And, to be honest, anyone that turns you down purely on the fact you've got Asperger's (even if they'd never say they were, due to disability discrimination laws) isn't someone you wanna be working for anyway, so by rejecting you, they might just be doing you a favour! :lol::whistle:

     

    James

  20. Posted · Report reply

    Good news for the next generation of autistics. :)

     

    Certainly beats the 20¾ years it took to diagnose me. :rolleyes:

     

    Having seen this report as the top story on Sky News tonight, I thought it only fair to link to their article (and video report) on it ...

    Sky News: "Scan Could Diagnose Autism In 15 Minutes"

    ... and I think it's better.

     

    But for those who prefer the Beeb, here's their version ...

    BBC News: "New brain scan to diagnose autism"

     

    James

  21. Posted · Report reply

    Yeah - what Jaded said. It's probably you she's chatting to all night ... except it's her night, not your night. ;) 11pm here is actually 10am in New Zealand - even later than 8am. They're 11 hours ahead of us, or 13 hours during our winter (their summer). :blink:

     

    I'm as bad as she is though, when it comes to staying up till stupid o'clock! :rolleyes:

     

    James

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