Vix

Hi. My son Kyle was non-verbal, the only word/s he had ever said was "oh dear". Last year, just before his 5th birthday he suddenly came out with "car" and "digger" on the same day and we couldn't believe our ears! I thought that would be it, but he hasn't stopped since, and will repeat everything we say, although it's not very clear. He still only uses single words, and if you say Hello Kyle to him he just repeats it back to you rather than say Hello Mummy, but it is so lovely to hear him talk as we never thought he would. He undertands so much more now as well, you can ask him to fetch things and he will now! (Always handy, lol!!) He was in nappies till last September, the school had been trying to train him before the summer holidays but I hadn't done much over the hols (had a newborn baby to deal with!) but when he went back they put pants on him and that was it! He's still in nappies at night, but DS1 was in night nappies till he was 6.5. (he's NT) and lots of DHs and mine family were bedwetters so I'm not too bothered about that. He had a babies bottle till he started school, when I just stopped him. He only had it for milk before bed, I tried giving him milk in a cup or beaker but he just stopped drinking milk. (will drink milkshake though) He started using a proper cup last year as well, before that he'd tip the whole lot over him! I have to say that Kyle's school has been absolutely brilliant and I think a lot of what he's achieved has been down to their wonderful help. He loves it there so much! (I sometimes think he prefers it to home!!) Vix xx

I had concerns about DS2 from about the age of 15 months. He didn't respond to us at all and was in his own world (we could have left him alone for hours and he wouldn't have noticed!) I kept asking friends and family what they thought and they thought he was fine, but I knew deep down he wasn't. DH finally admitted that there was definitely something wrong there, that he seemed "detached" He was nearly 2, had no speech at all (apart from saying Oh Dear a few times) and didn't understand anything we said to him, so I phoned the HV to ask about the 2 year check. They sent the questionnaire out and arranged to see him. I had to tick no to everything on the questionnaire, he couldn't do anything. They referred him straight away to the paediatrician. She saw him the same month, when he was a month off his 2nd birthday and said he had a social communication problem. She recommended a special needs playgroup, which he started when he was 2yrs 5 months, and then when he was 2.5 he saw the paed again and the diagnosis was Social Communication Problem on the Autistic Spectrum. I had loads of help fromt the playgroup, the paed and the Earlybird course. When I read about what some people go through with getting their child diagnosed it makes me feel very lucky that I was helped so much. I was really amazed at how quick they handled it, referring him and diagnosing him and everything. I suppose it was very obvious with him really though. He's 5 now and has only just started talking and understanding more and is doing fab at his special school. Vicky xx

I am lucky that I have a couple of great friends who have no problems with Kyle. Although I find it hard to go round to my best friends house as he is so destructive at the moment and her DH is very fussy about tidiness, but we meet up at other times and she loves Kyle. I had a group of friends I used to see during school holidays but this has tailed off a bit now, but they always used to organise to meet up in the most inappropriate places for Kyle, like the country park with a huge lake (he loves water and would have jumped in if I'd taken my eyes off him for a second!) or bowling (where he likes running all over the place, down all the alleys etc) I'm sure it's not deliberate, they all have NT children (and they all have 2 children, whereas I have 4 to keep an eye on!) and probably don't think about what is difficult for me. I've had to turn down some meet ups as the thought of going has just been too stressful. Kyle goes to special school and gets transport so I don't get the chance to talk to any of the mums there, and weirdly when he went to playgroup none of the mums talked to each other! (I tried but they were all really unsociable, we used to stand there in silence when we went to pick up!) I do find it hard sometimes as I can go for days without speaking to another adult (well, except for DH!) Vicky xx

I'm really pleased for you, it will be so much easier for you! We are still waiting, after 3 years being on the housing list, they think Kyle is low priority medical need despite him getting higher rate DLA. We are now sleeping in the dining room as he needed his own bedroom as he trashed all DS1's stuff. Hooray for downstairs toilets!! Vicky xx

I had my twins when Kyle was just over 2, we knew that he was possibly autistic but he hadn't been diagnosed. He completely ignored them! He never showed much interest in them, even when they got mobile. The only thing that upset him was when they both cried at the same time, then he'd join in (and I'd feel like doing the same!!) He also has an older brother, he sometimes likes chasing games with him, but still mostly ignores the younger two, although as smoetimes hit them (more in a sort of "what happens if i bang this toy on their head" way than an aggressive way, lol!!) I am now expecting no.5 (due in June) so it will be interesting to see his reaction to another baby in the house again! Vicky xx

It's wonderful isn't it!! I can't believe Kyle is saying Mummy after 5 years of nothing! I keep pointing at myself so he says it!! I worry about the future too, I try hard not too but I'm a born worrier. I wish I could keep Kyle at this age forever. Vicky xx

Kyle is 5 next month, and the only words he has ever said consistently is Oh dear! We've heard, or thought we'd heard and then not been sure as he'd never repeat anything, the odd word but nothing more, he's been completely non-verbal. He started school in October and he loves it!! They started signing with another little boy in his class (Kyle mainly uses PECS) and were amazed when last week when Kyle signed Please!! So I did it home with him and he now signs please whenever he wants a snack or a drink! Lately he's been "asking" us what toys are called (he holds the toy and puts his hand on our mouth to make us talk!) and then on Sunday he picked up a police car and said Car!!!! I was so amazed I was shouting to DH "did you hear him did you hear him!!" and then he did it with the digger as well!!!! Two words in one day!! We were so pleased, but wondered if it was just one of those one off never to be repeated occurences! Well on Monday I had his parents evening and his teacher had been so excited to read what he'd said, and she told me that when they'd been doing a parachute game he'd said Ping!! I got home and after dinner he was standing on the chair and asked me what it was and then repeated chair!! He also said car and digger again!! And best of all he said Mummy!!! So after nearly 5 years of almost no words he's said a whole load of them in a few days!! I'm so proud of him, I hope it's just the start! It was so lovely to hear him say Mummy at last, I was nearly in tears!! Oh, and his parents evening was good, all the teachers and assistants love him, and he loves school. They are going to do more signing with him as he picked up please so quickly, hopefully this will help with his communication as well. Vicky xx

I hope it's going well. We went cold turkey with Kyle's bedtime bottle last year. He just wouldn't have milk out of anything but a baby bottle. Once he started school we decided it was time for him to stop, that and the fact that it looked like such a struggle for him to get milk out, he was sucking really hard and wasn't flowing fast enough even though it was the fastest teat. He'd end up getting frustrated about it and throwing the bottle around the room. He has no understanding either, so we just had to leave it and put him to bed without it. The first night he screamed himself to sleep, but the next night we offered him some watered down juice before bed and he was fine. It's so hard when they have no understanding of what's going on so you can't explain. Vicky xx

<'> <'> Why do some people get so wound up about their kids getting hurt? Things like that are bound to happen when a load of kids run riot in a soft play. DS1 got bitten once by a child at a soft play and his mum came over to tell me (well, she actually said her son had "fallen" on to my DS and left big teeth marks in back!!) but I wasn't that bothered tbh, they always recover pretty quickly. This was before Kyle had been dx'ed (he was only a baby then) so it's not like I had any reason to be so laid back about it, I just don't see the point of making a fuss. Kyle is a horror in soft play, he doesn't play on the equipment he just hunts around for food and drink so will steal people's food! Someone did complain about him once but when I explained about his ASD they brought him a free plate of chips (although he still went crawling round the floor looking for dropped food to eat!) A few of the softplays round here have special needs evenings, maybe that is something you could enquire about? I haven't actually been becasue they seem to be too late. (7pm, which is bedtime in this house) Take care. Vicky xx

Kyle is nearly 5. He mainly uses his fingers for feeding himself, although he can and will use a spoon for yoghurt and ready brek. He has just started using a fork (school have been encouraging him and he's started doing at home despite resisting our attempts before ) He can only scoop with the fork though, can't stab yet. As for a knife, no hope! He's only just started drinking out of a normal cup instead of a beaker as he'd just tip it all down himself! He can undress himself, he doesn't like clothes on once he his at home! As for getting dressed, he will help,like hold his arms out and put his legs in his trousers but that is it. I've tried giving him to clothes to put on but he just dropped them and wandered off. He's not toilet trained at all so is in nappies day and night, I tried him in pants at the same time as his younger brothers but he didn't even notice or care when he wet himself. He's fine in a bed, been in one since he was nearly 3 and only fell out a few times. He's only got a mattress on the floor at the moment as he broke his bed (took the mattress off and broke the wooden slats!) so no worries about him falling out! It is hard, his brothers are just over 2.5 and they can feed themselves (though don't always want too!) attempt to dress themselves, and tell me sometimes when they need nappies changing. Hopefully they will be toilet trained soon, it's hard with 3 in nappies! Vicky xx

Kyle's eye contact is really good now. It was worse when he was a toddler, but I got lots of advice when I did the Earlybird course on encouraging eye contact and that really helped. Sometimes I think he's looking at me but he's really just studying his reflection in my glasses!

Kyle started at a special school in October and is doing really well. He loves it, and has settled in so well despite all my worrying! They are wonderful with him and he has so many opportunities there. The EP wanted him to go to mainstream school, and although the local school is brilliant (my eldest went there and loved it) I knew there was no way Kyle would cope there. If he hadn't have got in to the school I would have Home Educated. We are quite lucky as round here we have a brand new special school and a brand new ASD unit attached to a mainstream school, so I had a good choice. It was hard to choose which to send Kyle to. Vicky xx

Hi. My son Kyle is 4.5 and non-verbal. The only clear thing we've heard him say is "Oh Dear" although have heard him trying to count it wasn't very clear. He does PECS but only for food really as he is obssessed with eating and drinking (although he has PECS'd for bubbles a few times) It is very hard work trying to figure out what he wants or why he's crying but most of the time he is pretty easygoing although going through a very destructive phase (please let it be just a phase!) so I understand how you feel about it getting on top of you sometimes. I feel very down when I'm constantly trying to stop him wrecking yet more of our furniture. He is starting school on Monday My baby!! He still seems so small. It's a special school and hopefully he will like it as much as he did playgroup. He's going on transport as well so I expect he'll like that. I too feel sad when I see friends children of the same age starting school and chattering away, doing things that Kyle doesn't. Even DS3&4 chatter away at the age of 2.5. <'> <'> everyone.

Awww, that's so lovely it's brought tears to my eyes. I'd so love to hear Kyle say mummy. The only clear words I've ever heard him say are Oh Dear. After having him not saying anything it is so lovely to hear my DS3&4 talk, I'd go so used to no reply to anything I said. I hope it's just the start for your DS.

Kyle is really hard to buy for as he has no interest in toys or anything like that. He doesn't even watch Thomas! Not interested in the TV at all. He has toys, and will occasionally look at them but nothing he regularly plays with. He prefers to trash the house and destroy furniture instead. We have bought him some Junior Meccano this year as he has unscrewed all the furniture, so I am hoping it will distract him away from the drawers and highchairs, and everything else. He does like things with lights and buttons, but again only for a limited amount of time, and he already has so many light-up noisy toys, I don't want any more!! He does love unwrapping presents, just for the ripping as he likes ripping paper, but then usually shows no interest in the toys. He's non-verbal so doesn't say anything. He likes ripping open envelopes too, but then proceeds to rip the cards inside up as well!