Bard

Well, my boy isn't bipolar, he just lives in his own personal present. So he blows up like Krakatoa, but with less warning, possible a rumble or twitch, then 5 minutes later, he's moved on and forgotten. The rest of the immediate population is still undercover, and traumatised, and he is then puzzled when people are still angry or frightened in his presence. It's better that than beloved daughter who can brood for Europe, let alone England. And yes, if you're out there Rhys, she still blames the fact that she can't ride a bike on the fact that you pushed her off her tricycle at nursery. I'd rather have a volcano than a potential member of the mafia, waiting to be revenged. It's one of those AS things I really appreciate. Good luck for Monday...for both of us. I'm sure B's tutor is hitting the scotch pretty heavily to brace himself for the beginning of another exciting term!

Really, really bad timing this, after all these weeks of strain we were so looking forward to a simple day out. And there you have it. You have all worked incredibly hard, practically and emotionally, right up until the interview. J must have been focusing so hard on remembering all the right things. You and your butterflies, Mr P being the calm possessor of the brain cell at the moment. Cut yourselves some slack! I would have been amazed if, after such sustained effort, there hadn't been a meltdown. You come across as a loving and caring family who are well-suited to each other. There must be support services out there for people after college, and I bet that some of the amazingly well-informed members of this forum could advise you. I really hope that Monday brings good news, because you all deserve it.

I've got two children, P, very able NT daughter of 16, and B, an average AS boy of 12. Given a choice, much as I love them both, I'd rather go to new places with B. He notices everything and absorbs details that would have passed me by. He loves old stuff, museums, art galleries, nature and the countryside. He is able to think and discuss what he sees with intelligence and thought. I learn so much being out with him, and because he's usually plugged into the History channel. he can remember and share all sorts of details. He is an absolute delight to be out with, doesn't whine or ever get bored. Provided I don't make him mix with children, he is able to be himself without stress. He has the makings of an academic, like his dad. He may end up in research or analysis or...who knows. AS is part of him, and I really enjoy the person that he is. Most of the stress in our house comes from having a teenage girl and a 12 year old brother in the same house at the same time. The things we struggle with are bodily functions, choosing to wave sister's bra over his head, and the fact that when she is offended, she screams like a steam whistle which he finds funny. That's not AS, that's being a pain in the *rs* sibling. No arsenic in the soup yet, but I'm watching her carefully!

OOPS! Sorry Pingu, that didn't work very well. I meant to quote the well-meaning idiots that thought he would grow out of his Asperger's. That's not helpful. I often find banging my head on a brick wall soothing and uncomplicated compared with being the filter between B and the world. No insult intended pingu, just a technoclot at work.

His teacher wont come to meetings cause he doesnt like them??? what he means is he wont put his foot in it. Do you mean that the class teacher of a Primary school child with SEN is refusing to attend meetings at school about the child? This is wrong and unprofessional, I've attended dozens of meetings with a range of other professionals about children in my class over the 20 years I've been teaching. He's not doing his job, and neither is the headteacher if this is OK with him/her. It doesn't sound as if the SENCO is much use if they keep changing things without clarity, focus or clear objectives. What about the Ed Psych, LEA school inclusion team, physio involved with dyspraxia? Whoever did the report should be able to advise you on the next steps to take if the school is indifferent. I taught in an immigrant area for a decade, so know a lot about the challenges of EAL pupils, but the whole point of the Every Child Matters document is that EVERY CHILD MATTERS! Your child's provision should not depend in any way on who the other members of the school are, and so you need to continue to make this very clear. I'm so sorry that providing for our children is seen as an annoyance by some teachers, and I wish I could come up there and sort out that teacher for you both. My boy has a wonderful group tutor who has put time, thought and care into giving B the best chance of a mainstream education. Do you think Baddad might have a cloning machine in the Batcave? We could begin a stealthy takeover, like Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, but for good rather than evil!

I'm not sure how mich help I'm going to be, but I'm delighted that you've finally got something you've been working towards. I've got an AS boy of 12. He was diagnosed at 9. It seems as if, like many children, he has several distinct threads that combine to make learning in school difficult, ASD being one of them. If he is significantly behind his peers, then he should already have been getting learning support within the school, with the SENCO involved. There are key objectives for Maths and literacy for each year group, so you and the school should know whereabouts he is, and where his peers are. Mine still spells phonetically, and has no ability to empathise with characters who aren't like him. Other languages are a nightmare. However, his punctuation is a dream because the rules don't change, unlike spelling sounds in words. The ASD diagnosis may mean that the teacher and the school will need to rethink how they are teaching him. Some strategies don't work well with ASD children, like group work, or they need some extra apparatus like a visual timetable or a very structured approach. The school must now make provision for him appropriate to his specific needs. The excitement and relief of getting a report is diminished when you can't work out WTF they are going on about. I would have a meeting with the school so they can tell you what they are going to do next to meet their obligations to your son, and be very firm about your concerns and expectations. What have they predicted for his SATS grades at year 6? National average is a 4. If he's predicted 2 or less then he needs targetted, specific help. I hpoe this doesn't sound too negative. My fight is to keep my boy in school rather than in exclusion. He has no learning difficulties that are not linked to AS, but when he gets upset he fights, shouts and hits. They are all so different.

Exactly so Grasshopper. So beat them at their own game by keeping copies of paperwork, hard copies of emails, a log of daily incidents at school,and my own personal favourite, a copy of the DfES Guidance on Exclusions Part 2 with paragraphs 45 and 46 highlighted. In a lever arch file. With dividers.

What a great idea! My school does provide support for specific children in and out of class, as well as class TA time for all, but Canada seems to have gone one step further. I do know that over the years I've had complaints about SEN/EAL children getting more than their fair share of time and resources. It's hard to keep your civil and professional face on sometimes.

Schools are supposed to liase with each other over paperwork, but it can be slow. If you've got copies of his IEP and statement, I'd let the school have copies, and if possible, have a meeting to talk about how to make the transition as easy as possible with his new class teacher and the SENCO. That way, if paperwork is delayed, it's not so bad.

I totally agree krystaltps, I'm a teacher too and try to be one of the good guys. Having my NT daughter, now 16 certainly made me a more tolerant and patient teacher, much less dismissive than I was as a 22 year old. ' Where is your PE kit?' ' Why haven't you been read with every night?' kind of arrogance. Having B as an AS child taught me to really see and appreciate the different talents, strengths and weaknesses of both of my children. I don't try and make him do things he can't handle. I wait for the right moment and I don't waste energy fighting those parts of him that are hardwired into his system. The things he can't adapt to, we adapt round him, and we're all much happier at home. Now, the big, wide world is another matter... I'm dreading the end of the holidays and his return to school. I've never understood why it's OK to hit children. but bad to hit adults.

Oh sweetheart, what a break you're having! We love the holidays, because it seems like school is a never-ending series of conflicts. I sometimes feel like envying those parents of Aspies that weep and withdraw when they are distressed. Mine has both a left and a right hook, and at 12 he is on the big side. Holidays are a period of tranquility for us....soon over. Lots of sympathy, pour yourself a stiff drink whilst you wait for your bubble bath to fill. Balance the rest of your Easter chocolate within reach. Honeysuckle is a b*gg*r to get rid of, and I'm sure yours will recover fast. Lucky it wasn't a persian carpet that took his fancy. Yes mine had nits, can't use lotions or tea tree on him as he has mega bad reactions to a lot of stuff. Fortunately he's passionate about his cat. So I groomed the cat, whilst boy watched. And told him how lovely and sensible and clever he was. And that the God cats of Egypt were groomed by adoring priests. And how he didn't have any more beasties in his coat, so he could sit on the sofa. And I found him a tasty treat. And then I did boy whilst cat watched. And I didn't laugh once. May the rest of your holiday be peaceful.

Somedays you just smile! Went to Hastings with boy, history is one of his obssessions,girl is allergic to history and has to lie down if anything pre-1990 is discussed. There's a Norman castle, a Sealife centre, a new 1066 exhibition, Foyle's war stuff and the beach. He's a happy, happy bunny.

I'm new to the Forum, and this is my first post. Have you thought about downgrading this person to an acquaintance? My boy is 12 with AS, and I would never hit or slap him as this would be a major error. He would knock me off my feet if he chose to disagree with me in the same way. He's hard enough to handle when we are playing! He tends to mirror how people react to him, so if I'm really angry, I speak without intonation and clearly. If I shout at him, all I get is shouting back, and he doesn't hear me at all. I think that if she had a child with any sort of special needs, they would both have serious problems. Thank God your son was born to the right kind of parent.