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I buy for ds#1's teacher (who's leaving the school) and his 2 support workers and this year as we are leaving I feel that I should buy for the general classroom assistant too (only occured to me after I saw him shouting at her the other day! She's leaving next week too) Ds#2 has a nursery teacher (leaving! I don't know what's going on at our current school but all the staff are leaving or have left!) and a nursery nurse who have had him for the last 2 years and have tried their absolute best with him and been kicked and hit many times so they deserve something nice. Then the 2 receptionists are leaving too (!) and I'd like to get them something for the many phone calls, one in particular is lovely. I din't think I can afford much for them tbh but will definately do a card. And another classroom assistant is leaving (!!!!) who was so lovely to G when he first started the school (she used to take him off to do jobs when he was upset) is leaving so I'll get her a card. I'm also doing a little party bag for ds#1's class for him leaving and also will let ds#2 take some sweets into nursery as he'll starting a different school to everyone else in September (the mainstream bit of where ds#1 is going). Let me see.....5 gifts and cards and another 4 cards. And lots of sweets!

I know! We're affected as my son's support worker is striking. I'll send him on the Thursday and hope for the best but not sure about the Wednesday as there's a school Mass and we can't get him through the doors of the Church so he normally stays in class with his support worker. Technically I shouldn't have to keep him off but.... I don't blame them for striking but the timing is unfortunate as next week is ds#1's last week in his school (he's moving to an ASD unit).

We had a similar experience when my ds was in year 1 - frequently sent home and an exclusion. The school started to apply for a statement and in that time we were advised to move schools as the first one wasn't very supportive (punishing / sending home rather than trying to help him). We took this advice and did move him but this resulted in the statement being stopped to see how he managed in his new school. The new school were supportive and have tried but he still failed to cope and we did get a statement for the beginning of Y3. However even with full time 1-2-1 support he has struggled and he will be starting Y4 in September in an ASD unit. So really if we had kept him in the unhelpful school I imagine he would have had a statement and possibly a unit place a few years earlier and to an extent I do regret moving him. However it's a tough call because at the back of your mind you hope that a new and supportive school will mean your child copes better and may not even need a statement and that may be true for some children. If your ds is unable to attend school and not accessing his full curriculum due to the lack of a support worker I'd think you have a good case for a statement.

I did Earlybird Plus and would say it's a great starting point - however by the time we got a place on a course (it was new in our area and there was a backlog) I pretty much knew everything they told us through reading and this forum. Ds was diagnosed just before his 5th birthday and was 6 1/2 before we went on the course. It is useful to get to know the various professionals in your area. I always though Earlybird sounded better - don't they use videos and such to watch you dealing with your child? With Earlybird Plus a professional from school is supposed to attend to which would be great in theory but my school didn't feel able to commit to sending anyone so it depends on your school.

On the bright side there's an all day visit scheduled to the new school so we miss sports day Unless it rains that day, fingers crossed for sunshine that day.

Well! He didn't go last week, was hysterical that I wasn't there and refused to get in the car (EB was taking him and his support worker). Turned out to be a misunderstanding (or in G's words 'you lied!') because I'd explained very exactly that I wouldn't be going to his open day because he'd be at his new school and he translated that into 'we'd' be at his new school. Hopefully he'll be going next week, he says's he's fine without me as long as he knows in advance. Also now Leon has stayed on his own, G wants to go without his support worker (which isn't possible!) L went on Wednesday, let us leave quite happily and was very social! Only one blip when he wasn't allowed a second biscuit so wouldn't join in The Farmer's in his Den, he was very huffed!

We're having a tough time too. Always do at this time of year, but this year we're having transition visits to G's new school (he's starting an ASD unit in September). His speech is really unclear, his stammer is back with a vengance and he's bursting into tears a lot. Yesterday he and some others were throwing grass in their PE lesson and were told not to. Later 2 children (not G) started throwing grass again and were sent out of the lesson. G was absolutely hysterical and sobbing saying he'd been throwing it too and he should be punished too - he couldn't grasp that he wasn't in trouble.

Well done James! We got a lovely teacher's comment saying how she will really miss George's 'extremely specific answers and challenging questions'. Made me smile.

Hi Caroline Sorry to hear your son hasn't been getting the support he needs - especially when you thought he was. I know you're in Scotland and I'm not sure how different things are there but I would say it sounds like you need a statement. My son has had various (increasing!) levels of support since Y1 (and the class TA in the Reception year spent most of her time dealing with him). This support came from the ASD team and we were told we didn't need a statement. None the less we did apply (school did at our suggestion) and G was granted dedicated full time 1-2-1 support from September gone (Y3). I made sure this was clearly stated on his statement so there was no issue of hours changing or shared support. People (usually those who it may end up costing money!) say you don't need a statement but in our experience we did - to have G's needs throughly assessed and the support identified and particularly so we had a legally binding document saying what exactly he was entitled to. And nothing can be withdrawn without us being aware. As it is after a full year of 1-2-1 support, we've decided that mainstream just can't offer the specialised curriclum and support G needs and he will be starting at an ASD unit in September.

We had this as part of gathering the reports to see if my ds#1 would get a statement. It was very basic - to do with his general physical health and they only wrote a paragraph. I thought of it as a formality in our situation (no major health issues - just asthma and eczema) and not too important, just one of those things to be done. Obviously if a child has physical issues it would probably be more relevant. When all the various reports are recieved by the LEA, they decide if your child will warrent a statement.

My ds#1 was obsessed with Thomas from 18 months old when Harold the Helicopters whirling blades caught his fancy. It lasted till he was 6. I love Thomas! Strangely enough when we took him down to York to see the Steam 'Thomas' and friends he was totally unmoved.

Let us know how it goes Emma x

Hi Emma It's the school's job to report how your dd is at school and that should be it really - whether or not they believe she has an ASD or not and if she has should she receive a diagnosis should not be their responsibility. While waiting and seeing can be worthwhile sometimes, I do think after a while you ('you' generally not you personally!) have to take the plunge and make a diagnosis. My ds#1 was diagnosed at 4, almost 5 and I doubt he'd be diagnosed yet if left to the school and their ed psych (who recommended 'firm management' and made no mention of ASDs). Also there are good spells and times where the difficulties are more obvious and I think we could have gone on forever thinking 'he's improving'...'he has major problems'...'he's fine'...'he's not fine' and someone actually making the decisive step to diagnose was a relief to me.

I breast fed ds#1 (AS / HFA) until he was 13 months at which point he transferred fairly easily to a bottle and cows milk. Ds#2 (NT but I have some queries) was much trickier to feed, he was on and off many times instead of having a proper feed. He did have a tongue tie though which might explain that. He was obsessed with breastfeeding and surivied on a teeny amount of solid food until he was finally (with HUGE protest!) weaned at 2 years 3 months.

I have one of 8 (AS/ HFA) and one of 4 (nt) and as another poster says, my 4 year old has learnt so much that is innappropriate. For example ds#1 has just become aware of swear words, from school friends, and wants to talk about them obsessively, he doesn't actually say the words but will say 'the f word' and 'the s word', which means I now have my 4 year old talking loudly about the f word and the s word which sounds terrible even though he hasn't a clue what they actually are! We are having huge tantrums and certain rigid / controlling behaviours and I am torn between feeling that something is wrong and thinking that he is copying ds#1 and that maybe I am subconsciously reinforcing these behaviours by erring on the side of caution (for example if he wants the blue plate or his crisps in exactly the right position then I have been going along with it because I'm used to ds#1 needing thing exactly 'right' - however I've just, in the last few days, decided to try a tougher line. It's a very difficult line. My little one is still quite demanding of my time but it's not as difficult now as when he was 2 if that offers hope!

Oh I can sympathise! It has been a huge step recently when my 8 yr old learnt how to take tablets, such a relief! This came about with a very swollen hand and foul tasting medicine which he wouldn't have so he tried the tablets and wonder of wonders he managed! I used to add ds#1's medicine to his milk and ended up putting him off milk for years but that was long term medication! My little one is 4 and has never had medicine willingly. Over the years I've tried all ways - my biggest success is putting a small amount in every drink (measuring out the 5 ml or whatever beforehand and sneaking it in tiny amounts into every drink) It gets complicated and feels like you spend a whole day trying to persuade them to drink, but it's all that will work with ds#2. Sometimes I try ibroprofen and sneak that into drinks as it seems to last longer and comes in different flavours. I've never ever managed to get antibiotics into ds#2 dispite all best efforts! Edited to add will he have smoothies? They hide the taste quite well?

Our consultant has just said she is sure that Ds#1 has PDA but describes it as an extra layer making his autism more complex. Our area don't yet diagnose PDA, nor will they fund referring to the Elizabeth Newson Centre as it apparently costs thousands, probably party because PDA isn't yet on the DSM (is it DSM?) lists of conditions. I'm unsure about the PDA diagnosis withregard to ds#1, I can see why someone might think that with regard to ds#1 and his refusals to do things, but he isn't IMO socially manipulative.

Just seen this! My understanding is ASD is the same as autism. As Aspergers criteria specifies no speech delay I don't know if she could be diagnosed with Aspergers (it may differ between different consulatants?) as she's had speech problems? However the Autistic Spectum covers all children which includes Aspergers and classic autism and there is room in the middle for children who don't fit AS or classical autism. HFA is pretty much the same as Aspergers but would include children who have had a speech delay. Hope you get some answers soon. x

My son made one at school and gave it to a girl in his class, it didn't seem to cross his mind that I might like it! I think he's having his first crush however so maybe understandable, I hope she appreicates it as much as I would have. At least I got one from ds#2 who made one at nursery!

I'm not diagnosed with anything but have been treated since a teen for depression which I now wonder about. Flora, you have described exactly how I feel about cooking! Although I am perfectly intelligent and can follow recipes and cook I have a huge mental block with cooking - partly the problem is deciding what to eat and when and partly it's a routine thing, if it's past tea time I don't like cooking tea, if my housework isn't up to standard (like today!) that knocks everything. What does help is planning 7 meals (or 14 including lunch) and buying the ingredients for them and sticking to that routine, if I do that I manage. Problem is I can only keep this up so long before I get overwhelmed and everything goes haywire (and they eat chips and freezer food). I have 2 children (one with AS) and a dp all with very specific likes and dislikes so it gets really complicated. I hate cooking and I can't explain to anyone what the problem is, just sometimes, despite being technically able, I can't do it! Maybe if someone would sit down with you and help you plan a weeks meals and shopping list this might help, I think that's something that would help me.

Waves to Emma I have always understood that the difference between High Functioning Autism and Aspergers is whether speech developed appropriately during the early years, something like 2 words at 2 years and sentences at 3 (would need to double check that, it's in the diagnostic criteria I think). My son is diagnosed with both - because it was unclear whether his early speech problems were relevant, at the time we'd declined speech therapy as (we were totally ignorant back then!) his speech wasn't the problem in our eyes. He still has speech problems, can be difficult to understand and has a stammer that comes and goes and is severe when it's there - but apparently fits the 'Asperger profile' better. I tend to think AS and HFA are pretty much the same and I would usually use the word 'Autism' to describe ds#1 as 1)most of the general public still don't seem aware of Aspergers and 2) if they have heard of AS they tend to think of it as 'mild' and expect only a slightly quirky child but still whereas ds has huge difficulties. I describe his as having Aspergers to people who know their stuff!

I always take ds#1 ot of school during term time - my reasoning being he simply couldn't cope in peak time. Luckily so far this hasn't been questioned by school so they seem to understand. We have a full time LSA (2 separate workers) for ds#1 and basically if ds#1 is not in class then the LSA goes back to the main office and does whatever is needed there - in our case they are not allowed to remain at school unless ds#1 is there.

My ds#1 is funny - it's hard to tell! He had a broken finger for a whole afternoon at school last year and didn't mention it even though it was very swollen and discoloured. He had a huge black eye and bruised head before christmas that didn't bother him at all. However if he hurts himself in a minor way he'll scream and scream. Recently we've had outrage when he was sent to school with (what I think were) growing pains and I sent him to school this week with a mystery swollen wrist which I hadn't noticed until his support worker asked me to come back and look at at. He seems to find it hard to tell the difference between big pains and little ones - and if it's his own fault (the black eye was as he chucked something!) then he doesn't complain at all! Karen, I annoy G by taking photos of injuries! (He's had a lot of accidents recently!)

Our first and long lasting obsession was things that go round - particularly fans, washing machines. He did have a thing for light switches and doors when little too. Briefer obsessions when little were alarm boxes on houses, satilite (sp?) dishes, light bulbs. Fans really was a biggie though, we'd drive to see wind turbines, cut pictures of fans out of the Argos catalogue, go to B&Q etc and he's be so happy! There was also a lamp shade phase where he'd always have a lamp shade in his hand and I couldn't miss the lampshade isle out in a local shop (and usually ended up buying one!) He'd get me the Argos catalogue so we could look at them too. Probably about 2 ish when he liked lampshades. Later Harold the Helicopter's propellers spawned an interest in Thomas and this was huge! I worried a bit when he got to 6 that I wouldn't be able to find Thomas clothes in teenage sizes. At 6 1/2 he got a playstation and this started a Star Wars obsession and at 8 this is still ongoing although has been refined to particularly liking the droids off Star Wars. He's also likes Captain Underpants recently but I don't think this will be a big obssession and he likes stick men! I'm not sure where this has come from but he likes the tidy man on crisp packets and cans and a game caled Hapland - anything with a stickman in / on! Fans, Thomas and Starwars have lasted years in their turn but we have fleeting things too which are all consuming for a bit but don't last as long.

My big one (8) has to have socks on at all times (bar the bath) and puts clean socks on for bed! My little one (4) is obsessive about the picture needing to be on the front which is tricky as all the pictures are designed to go on the side, I try and turn them round but that's not right either and he cries The little one would not contemplate odd socks - he checks them!