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About llisa32

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    Mt Blanc
  • Birthday 05/18/1967

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  1. Hiya, I'm not sure how it will work for your son as he's older than mine (mines 11) but he also has struggled to get to sleep at night - although thankfully not every night. I've used an over the counter liquid antihistamine that can also be used as a sleeping aid. I've always found that my son struggles to sleep after either a busy day, an exciting tv prog, playing too long on a game etc - then he struggles to wind down - his brain is still whizzing despite laying in bed! I don't use it routinely, only now on sons request or when I can tell beforehand he's going to have trouble switching off. My GP suggested I give it a try and I've always called it 'sleeping medcine', plus I've never had to use the full dose specified for sleeping as it seems to work on my son 'knowing' he's had sleeping medecine. I'm not sure if I can name the brand/make - praps one of the mods can advise? If not happy to pm you details
  2. Yep Definately grateful he's a boy - least we got hormone surges at hopefully different times!. On a progress front - after taking onboard the posts (thanks all) and giving it some thought I've done the following: 1. Because he usually can handle some 'teasing' and banter - I told him I'd read a book that said boys who feel unloved and sad need to have extra cuddles!! - in fact as many as the mum can fit in whilst the boy stays still! And despite him finding that funny he actually hasn't pulled away that many times so must be in need of extras 2. Told him as advised <'> that although his body is getting ready to be an adult it doesn't mean he's not still a child and able to still be a kid and do kid stuff - to which I promptly got told 'but I'm eleven! - BUT..when I then suggested indulging the bakugan habit that had worn off of late it's been the fab fad all weekend! And he used some of his savings to buy a new pokemon game 3. After giving the missing school lunch incidents more thought I realised I'd been missing the key factor in his upset - the biggest thing that causes anxiety etc for J is change - so having his own body change before his very eyes and being unable to do anything about it must be horrid for him and really unsettling - this side of it I hadn't thought off - can't believe I didn;t as change in anything has historically caused massive upset - so prob this explains the reason why he's bought into the hugs I've been chasing him round the house for. After speaking with J's dad we think the reason he's missing lunch is to do with weight control - because he's heard people say that you should only eat when you are hungry - else you put on weight - we think he has taken that literally - which in J's case will mean unless he is starving he won't ask for food. So we are working on addressing this and making sure he has all his facts correct and accurate and hopefully the food thing will settle down once he accepts that missing meals will just make you poorly. 4. Had a long chat with J's form teacher and we have finally agreed on a really scaled down homework diary (homework has always been an issue) So we are only doing maths and science at home and english done with LSU during school time. This will also help ease the pain whist he is out of sorts. Fingers crossed all the above will help, this pm and evening is the chirpiest he has been for a while, very chatty and went to bed happy
  3. Thanks for the warm welcome back Mumble <'> You've raised a couple of things I hadn't considered - in particular the causing a halt to growing up by not eating and one thing I have been saying a lot to him lately is 'you're two now you're eleven!!' when faced by him refusing to go anywhere near the bath and associated soap! (nothing has changed on that front) Unfortunately with the onset of puberty - needing to wash properly and regularly is more important than ever and we have been having mega battles about that - hence me losing patience and quoting the 'you're eleven now' line. Maybe I need to rethink that one. Also hadn't really considered how worried he might be about the 'new' him, so will work on that too Definately given me some good things to think about and even J's teacher now wants me to pass on anything from you all I can find out so thank you for that <'>
  4. Hi all, I haven't been on for a long while - combination of elderly parents, work and J, so hope you'e all doing okay. I could really do with some help and advice pls as rapidly running out of ideas on how to best help J. He's 11.5 at mainstream school with LSU support once a week and started puberty about a year ago. He is seriously unimpressed with puberty - he didn't want the hair, doesn't want his voice to change, and cannot comprehend why sometimes he just feels really really angry for no reason he can find - in total it makes no sense to him. He's had all the age relevant info for puberty and they have also been covering it at school for his year group during the last 6 months. My main worry/concern is...he has always had a tendancy to school refuse, he thinks it's a conspiricy invented by us adults and if he had his way he would never go. However, we have periods of around 4 - 6 months where school goes well, he goes in without issue and all is happy. These periods were getting longer and I thought that finally we had the right mix of support at school to keep him settled. But...then puberty kicked in. The school know he's very unimpressed about puberty, he has always been the tallest and biggest kid in the class and now has a little puppy fat around his middle and spots in his back to live with - we know he's concious about this so at his request have been making sure he keeps eating a healthy diet and the school are sensitive to his plight. However, more and more frequently over the last few months he is having to leave a class because he feels inexplicably 'angry' and go and chill out with matron. he is getting a lot of stomach aches, he wakes up 'angry' and just curls up in a ball on the sofa refusing to do anything. He has been telling relatives plus his Dad and I that no one loves him, no one cares about him and he truely seems to believe it when he says it. I'm at a loss to know where to go with this at the moment. He has also started to miss school lunch and hide so that no one makes him go to lunch. By the end of the school day he then feels pretty ill. I've tried tracking back at school to find an issue, but the only one coming up is homework and that's been an issue since starting school, so not a new issue. If we ask him why he thinks no one loves him he can't find a reason/reply. He's generally a chirpy cheeky happy boy and to see him like this is so sad - hence I'm on here and trying to find out if this is a fairly common way for boys with ASD to progress through puberty, and to find out how others have dealt with it/helped their kids. All advice greatfully received!
  5. Hiya <'> I'll speak to you offline in a sec, but just wanted to post in public incase it helps a weeny bit <'> You are most definately NOT a failure <'> , you have thus far achieved more in your life than many people achieve in the whole of their lifetimes. You've overcome a great number of obstacles and difficulties - most of which come from outside sources and usually instigated by other peoples ignorance and stupidity - NOT yours. Your parents were very very wrong to tell you they wished you'd never been born, and an unfortunate consequence of that sort of parenting is that kids grow into adults who end up with that horrible negative thought in the very back of their mind - it then comes to the forefront when things are really tough and you're struggling to cope - same as we all have some negative thoughts about ourseves from time to time. You most definately SHOULD have been born, and the world is a much more interesting and good place to be with you in it, and you definately have a huge amount yet to contribute, and i know you'll get there <'> no matter how many tossy profs etc you have the misfortune to meet along the way. Uni have not made any accomodations for AS, and they still do not seem to understand that things need to be properly explained - it's because they can't be bothered to take enough time that you end up not seeing or 'missing' cues - thats not something you should feel stupid etc about - that is UNI's fault and not yours. By all means tell them to shove something.....but preferebly something sharp where it will hurt them! but NOT you giving up yr course. It is their fault things are currently so difficult, and not something you have failed at <'> Try and remember you have some good people who are on yr side outside of the UNI you are currently in - they have faith in your ability and there will be other paths for you to follow when you get away from the uni from hell. Don't be afraid to speak to your doctor, feeling anxious and upset etc is not something to be scared to admit - it doesnt mean you'll end up in that very dark place again, just that you are aknowledging how you currently feel and asking for help to get through it. It does not mean you have failed at all. You can get though this, and I'll help all I can <'> <'>
  6. Hiya - I've not had time to read through all of the posts re this GFA game - but from my experience I will not let J anywhere near it - we took my nephew away with us and on hols he was letting j use his PSP - what I didnt know was that the game he had on it was GFA!! Only when J very causally mentioned gangs and stealing cars etc like it was everyday norm and I wondered where he had got the idea from did I twig! - the game immediately got banned from sight until nephew went home - TBH...I'm amzed even he's got it although he is 12 and his mums not as strict as me re games. There are wayyy to many bad things in this game, and j does have a lot of trouble telling fantasy from reality - no way do i ever want him to think that the characters in GFA are the norm. I think you did the right thing <'>
  7. Sorry Mumble but I'm gonna just take this slightly off topic...Flora ..I know where you're coming from when you state that some parents do not empower their children past limitations and instead impose limitations by over protection etc. But...I cannot bear the term 'collusion'... when anyone uses that word it immediately gets me thinking about secret behaviours and accepting behaviours that are just plain wrong or unacceptable. I do not think that by allowing either children/adults to make mistakes and then learn by them (by having someone kindly explain the error) and accepting them for who they are 'despite' having made an error constitutes collusion. Nor do I think that by explaining that yes some people like to ask a question at the end of an interview - others do not and therefore a short 'thanks but we've covered it all' will do equates to collusion either. The term collusion has come up in replies to me several times over the last year and I resent what it implies I simply look at the person as an individual, accept their difficulties if any, and look to assist where possible - children and adults can learn from assistance/guidance - this does not equate to collusion. There is no straight forward 'perfect' 'right' way to live a life - we each wether AS or NT has to muddle through best we can - I sometimes get the impression that some people expect children with AS to be taught how to be perfect little specimans of social behaviour, when actually none of us grown ups either NT or AS are perfect. Some of the posts on this thread have acome across as very condescending - either to other parents telling them what they should do with their children or to adults with AS telling them to 'get on with it - its easy once u know how' We're all different lets not forget and should try and accept everyones difficulties as difficult for them wether or not it is something we personally or our kids struggle with.
  8. Hi Mumble, The process of asking any other questions at the end of an interview is just standard interview technique and it usually depends on the interviewer as to how much credence they give any potential answers. I'm pretty cynical so when I interview I never expect much in the way of relevant questions from a potemtial employee at the end and am fine if someone says 'no thanks, we've covered everything I wanted to know' Likewise I have used the same statement myself when I've been interviewed Some interviewers will however expect you to 'play the game' and have at least one 'stock question' as Neil suggests - which can do no harm at all to always have one prepared. Just for the record as I note this thread has swung slightly off topic in some places....I would have no issue with my son turning out like you when he is older - if he has half your determination and courage when he's your age i'll be very proud! <'> In my personal opinion.... I think that children diagnosed with AS are much better placed when they get to adult hood than adults diagnosed as adult. Granted many children do not get as much support educationally or through the health service that they should - but they will at least hopefully have parents alongside fighting for their rights and explaining the various variances of the general world. Not all adults diagnosed with AS will have had that support whilst growing up and thus their will be 'gaps' in their understanding of some social stuff - this forum should be a safe place for people to come and ask questions they cant ask elsewhere and not have to run the risk of others making them feel stupid/helpless or rude.
  9. Funnily enough I was wondering the very same thing myself this morning! - my son will be nine this year and left to own devices will have nothing to do with soap or tooth paste whats so ever! I have to literally wash all the important bits with a huge faff and then I'm always big time pleased with myself cos he's all clean!! - that always seems mad to me - but those of you that do it will know what i mean. I'm also curious just how independant other kids who dont have ASD's are - or those who do have asd's - does the bathroom thing get any better??
  10. Noisy inconsiderate aggravaging arrogant rotten noisy neighbours!!!!!!!! House whose garden backs next to mine decided to have some form of live rock band for their BBQ!!! I have been subjected to electric guitars, drumming and bad singing for the last 5 hours and they slowly getting more drunk and I doubt very much they are gonna be good neighbours and swtich the poxy music off at 10pm!! An I gotta get up at 4.30am!!
  11. Wow!! I gotta work for hours and hours and miss a whole day of logging onto the forum and come back to find a mumble with sparkly toes!! and flip flops!! They look fab!!
  12. llisa32

    my positive thread

    Yey!!!!!!!!!! Mumble....thats blooooming absolutely woonderfully fantastic!!!!!! I bin sweating on your behalf this morning with all me fingers and toes crossed!! YAHOOOOOOO - well done!! - I know how absolutely draining the last few months have been for you and I think you have done fantastically well today!! - made my day actually!! - well done! <'> Have no idea what this post is gonna look like now i've played with text etc - but u get the gist!
  13. Hope you're okay SG <'>
  14. Hi - my sons gone completely the other way in terms of beliving in god - he has taken every RS lesson thus far as gospel (no pun intended!) He is throughly convinced that god exists and can see everything, and that he'll know if he's naughty etc, he's equally convinced that peeps like burglars and 'bad people' go to hang out with the devil. We've had some quite bizarre conversations in this house since they started doing RS at school, including a really mad one about the 10 commandments. J...'Mum...what does adultory mean? Mum ' ermmm..well it means when a man or a woman kiss someone thats not their husband/wife' J....'''Oh...so have you done that then??!! Mum...ermmm No J now got to sleep! I'm not overtly religeous at all so have found J's current absolute belief quite strange to be honest - I don't particularly believe or disbelieve..but am happy for j just to make his own mind up as he goes along. I think if you can/are able to explain that some people find a comfort in believing in a god, and that it's good to respect other peoples views it would be useful for the future - perhaps you could sway him to attend on that basis and just explain that sometimes we do things for others even if we don't fully agree with the religion side. <'>
  15. Oh Mumble...that musta been absolutely awful for you <'> <'> <'> Rest assured you will have no crimal record what so ever...so in terms of any future career etc you needn't worry about it. For the rest of today though be very kind to yourself...ask for some painkillers if you have pain anywhere, take a long soak in the bath and make sure you eat some dinner. Will log on usual place in a sec <'>
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