Yorkie

Where do you live?? The moon???? 3 years is disgusting, I would start to make some serious noise..............

Being on a rare night out in the pub (leaving do) and knowing no meltdowns had occurred whilst out.............

Cannot believe this thread......................... My Little Fella is &, dx AS & Dyspraxia, and have statement for full time SNA who is fab. Have had major battles about lunchtime supervision and am most hated mum at school cos of this . Head has finally agreed to have 1 specific dinnerlady responsible for him for continuity which helps him not have so many meltdowns and aggressive episodes. School are making SNA's life a misery she has been told not to speak to me outside school and to cut down on info in home/school diary. She is ow looking for another job and I am sooooooo angry. Cannot speak to Head about this as I am not meant to know details from SNA, am gonna lose her and my lad is the only one that will suffer. Have fought for nearly 3 years to get the right support for my lad and am now looking to lose it cos the Head and Teacher have problems with the SNA's knowledge and will not let her do her job properly, they undermine her and treat her like cr*p and shes gonna leave. Having read this thread, I am torn between feeling angry for all you parents that have ###### all support, and guilty that I have managed to get the suppport for my lad. (although its been a long hard battle with Leeds LEA) Its absolutely ludicrous that we have kids similar, and yet the level of support differs so much from area to area. makes me so damn

Zemanski, your school sounds like the most understanding I have ever heard of...... and I'm sure thats down to you as parents...... Aftr speaking to a number of parents with ASD kids, we all seem to be struggling against the teaching staff, who mainly have good intentions, but seem adamant that our kids 'will conform'and 'act like NT kids' in the long run... This makes my blood boil............ My little fella has recently bitten 2 kids at school due to frustration, he was trying to take himself away from a situation he couldnt cope with, the only safe haven was behind some shelters the kids were forbidden to go.... and when a kid tried to help and get him out before he got into trouble, he lashed out when the kid tried to drag him out...... Trying to get the staff at my lads school to undertstand that he needs a safe place to go for 'time out' is ###### impossible. THEY feel he doesnt need it, HE cant converse in such a way that explain his feelings, an I'M just a Mum who knows nothing....apparently..... if he' not lashing out, he's ok.....thats their opinon, but when he is lashing out, it cant possibly be sensory issues..... Ignorance is bliss..................or so I'm told

Have read all this thread with very great interest......... My little fella was first dx with SPLD, although I argued this for 6 months till Child Psych did AS checklist, the dx'd Aspergers...... This opened many doors for us regarding statements, school support, DLA etc etc..... I have asked Child Psych on numerous occasions what the differences are between HFA/ASD & AS, only to get fobbed of. Have read up on all these things, and not convinced my lad has AS. A friend of mine with a son dx autism told me the main difference between the two was a child with autism isnt interested in socialising, whereas a child with AS wants to but does so clumsily and inappropriately. Have also read the 'language delay' theories as well. Problem I have now, is do I just accept dx as it stands, or get raised eyebrows again if i question this. Took 3 years to get anyone to listen to me (munchausen by proxy muttered about throughout this time by professionals) My lad is bright, but has trouble with pragmatic speech. Unable to explain himself and answer questions appropriately and consistently,cognitively he has trouble understanding questions and often ignores you or gives an answer so off the wall, you know he hasnt understood at all. he is very black and white in his thought processes, taking speech literally, has great struggles socially, although wants to join in, but is seen as 'odd'. will blank kids one minute, but ignore them the next. Life is on his terms or not at all.............. So, reading through that again, where exactly does he fit in? School doctor told us to think of him on the 'autistic side of Aspergers', which confused us about dx even more!!! Does a dx of either AS or Autism matter so much at 6 years old? Do I risk the 'professionals' giving me the 'stares' again? Or do I just get on with it and 'see how it goes'......... Grey area innit?

My AS little fella whos nearly 7 has same probs with knives and forks, will also use spoon fine. We have learnt that this is cos of sensory issues to do with his hands, cant stand things touching the palms. If you think about how you hold a knife and fork, usually the end will touch the palm, or your other fingers will, whereas with a spoon, (unless its grasped) it doesnt touch the palm as much, mainly the fingers. He also has this problem with holding pencils, again the way he's been told to hold a pencil, his other fingers touch his palm. We're trying to de-sensitise his palms, little by little, but its working. (Brushing them every night with soft and rough things, electric toothbrush, hot and cold flannels) His writing is improving and we can get him to use a fork for some of the time now without meltdown, still not a knife though...... Know how frustrating it can be to be stared at as well!!!

I think of it that mt son 'has Aspergers' like i would say 'I have chicken pox, or an ingrowing toenail' Its something he 'has' not what 'he is'............ and we find ways to cope together, like you would buy calamine for the chicken pox (except it takes longer to manage........... )

Wonder if anyone can offer any advice on this?? I fought for 18 months with school and Leeds LEA to get my AS lad statemented and a full time SNA. She is fab and started in May. All the things I've been asking for, like a detailed home/school diary (not just 3 words) were implemented without even asking, and she was astounded that school didnt have a visual timetable ( i have given them all the picture cards and advice on how to use it) I explained that school felt it wasnt necessary. Ive picked up vibes from her that her opinions/experience are being pooh-poohed by the class teacher and SENCO, but as shes new she doesnt like to make waves. I think she feel very much out-on-a-limb, as my lads teacher and SENCO are very friendly and give each other 'knowing looks' when she trying to suggest something. Thing is, SENCO is going to be teacher next year, and without interfering, how do I handle this one? I dont want to go to head cos theylll know that SNA has hinted that all is not rosy, but the worst thing is that if shes unhappy she'll leave and I'll be back to square one. My lad is going into a newly-built school in September, so when I explained about new smells, classrooms and how they needed to be aware how stressful this could be, they looked at me llike I was mad!!! They finally agreed that a visual timetable could be used for the first term to 'see how he settles'. They seem to think that if he isnt kicking off, he doesnt need help or timetable. My argument is that the stresses are hidden and we get it in the neck when he gets home!!! HELP!!!!

No offence taken at all love..... It was because of the other kids in D's class AS WELL as him, that I requested a statement, the school told me he wouldnt get one because 'he wasnt bad enough' I understand that it would be impossible for my lad to get the full support he needs when the teacher has other kids to deal with. It wouldnt be fair on the other kids either!! Thats why I decided it would be best all round to get the fundng and statement to make sure the school got the resources needed to educate my lad properly wihtout this affecting the other kids education. The school are ###### glad of it now arent they!!! I did most of the work, (as well as SENCO who is fab) and they get the money!!! My argument is, that I've done my bit, a big bit i might add, and now they have the resources, the teacher is not listening, understanding or using the resources how they should be used for my lad. She thinks 'she knows best', although when i ask her questions about my lads behaviours, she knows sod all about his sensory issues etc (even though I have told her!!!) because she has CHOSEN not to listen and discounts our opinions. In the next breath she will ask why he does certain things, and i explain AGAIN, she acts like i have just told her something new!!! I get sooooooo frustrated, as if she had took on board what we've told her, she would know already!!! I think it all depends on the individual teacher, and in this case, my lads has got as much to learn as he has................................

I'm not going to be part of the interviewing process Helen, when I asked before 'what if i dont like them'. Head answered' do you really think I would employ someone YOU didnt like@ meaning that the sh*t she would get from me would not be worth it!!!!!! I am loathe to report the school Helen, mainly because of the fallout afterwards. they justify this by saying that they have had so many applications, and that they want to get the RIGHT personal for the job, not just rush to employ anyone... Also, he is actually supported, so they dont see my concerns..... Home school diary, surprise surprise, it came home tonight with the words - no problems - good day! written in. What exactly does that mean? He didnt eat anything, fall out with anyone, hit anyone, was quiet etc etc??? i.e. didnt get on anyones nerves more like.... I am so concerned that if I rock the boat anymore, it will backfire on me. They already keep saying that he has made so much progress, much calmer etc etc. teacher told me at parents evening last month that she didnt see him as 'standing out' anymore. I just said that was probably because she was used to him and his quirks now. Why am I so suspicious of that comment? I feel that this will lead to removal of support eventually...what a cynic I am (or realist!!!) Another case of damned if you do, damned if you dont...........

We took D for his first CO appointment on Tuesday, she said she had never felt such tension (in the back of his neck/base of his skull) in a 6 year old!!! Birth trauma apparently....I know about that - I had it too!!! Also, apparently the left and right side of his skull are slightly out of alignment. All this can cause sleep problems/tantrums/frustrations etc etc..... We're doing it weekly for 4 weeks then reviewing it, hope to have a much calmer little fella soon!! Might not ram me with a plastic cow quite so often.........

Well, school are at it again............ They advertised for an SNA after we got D's statement dated 2nd February, and I checked on the LEA website and it specifically stated 'start date 4/4/05'. Went back to school on Monday, enquired as to where this new SNA was, and was told that the interviews dont even start till 18th April, they have had 34 applications and its been hard to shortlist them.... I asked if they had any idea when this person would start and was told that it depends on if they have to give notice from their current job....... The existing classroom assistant has agreed to do full time till someone is employed, but although he is supported, its not someone who is special-needs trained (think she might have read a book or watched rain man.......) She is a lovely lady and is fab, but they all just keep trying to get him to conform, rather than treat him as an individual with individual needs. Home/School diary...theres another tale. Set up on my insistence, has suddenly dwindled off again. I asked teacher today what exactly she thought this book was for, and she said 'to let us know anything that had happened rather than discussing it at the end of school'!!!! i.e. eaten mud or spitiing today - how negative!! I explained that my idea of it was, to keep us informed of what D had done throughout his day so we could discuss it or encourage it at home also, therefore helping his understanding/conversational skill etc.... was told, 'NO thats not what is for, the school newsletter tells you what the topics are every month, like everbody else.. Stupid me!!! I was under the impression that the school was getting large sums of funding to provide adequate and tailored support for my lad, to keep me informed of everything and anything that can help his progress! Teachers are always complaining that they dont get any support from parents, but heres ours saying basically 'keep your nose out, we'll do it our way!!!!' A few monhs ago, after a big meeting with Head, I got it in writing that they would inform me when any professional was visiting the school. Today, popped in to see SALT, who said 'i was just about to ring you!' cos shed been in to school yesterday and no-one had told me - again. Broached this with Teacher who said 'well she comes into school to see other children as well, and our agreement is for her to ring you to tell you whats gone on' nobody told me that either..... The we get to IEP...... in February a AS specialist went into school to help write new IEP, I attended and teacher said 'ill copy this down properly, then let you see it' still waiting.....and waiting... so mentioned it today as well and she said 'oh i'll get you a copy' When i informed her that i actually had to sign it and agree it, she just looked at me like something off the bottom of her shoe!!' I also said we should be having half-termly review soon, so a new one would have to be written anyway!!! It seems like all the extra work involved is a hassle for her, although he has full time classroom support (allegedly..) so she could be filling in the book etc. etc. AND this year, theres only 20 kids in the class!!! I am SOOOO fed up this week, it seems the battle has begun again.........

To the best mum a kid could have (except me of course!!!!!) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They should bring back hanging for LEA & school staff who lie.............. You should be so proud of yourself....one nil to the parents!!!! Treat yourself to a few bottles of stella and a family size dairy milk!!!! well done you!!!!

Keep your fighting trousers on girl....you can do it!!!! Dont let the b***ards get you down...... have another beer, another cry and then keep on going love.................... Fingers crossed for you chick xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Guys, only seem to post when I want something!!! My lad has AS, SPLD & Dyspraxia (although apparently its not called dyspraxia anymore....) and very bad Pica.... Im at the end of my tether with this one and am terrified that one day he's gona eat something reaaallllllly bad........ At the weeked, he 'passed' a long piece of string (yes it was string, i had thought of other things and had to pull it to check - yuk!!) I absolutely flipped at school - which is another tale as he is meant to be supervised because of this, but this is the last of a very long line of things he puts in his mouth. He knows he shouldnt do it, and knows its wrong afterwards but cannot stop himself. We've had him on a yeast free diet, maybe helped a little, he's practically dairy free anyway, the odd bit of cheese or if there is milk powder in something I cook is the most he gets. When we ask him, he just says 'but im hungry' which is a learned and much repeated phrase...... Thing is, he hides it from us as well, so he may be putting more in his mouth than we know.. Ive read that iron/B6/chromium/other minerals deficiencies can affect this, but also that Gluten free can help pica.... Any ideas please?????

Hi there, Can you tell me where to get the iron supplement you mention? Sounds easier than trying to give spoonfuls of plesmet each morning!!! Thanks

Hi, I'm Yorkie and have 2 kids, 5 year old with Aspergers. 3 year old typical monster! I am battling with EVERYBODY at moment to try and get my son the help he needs at school. Have decided to apply for a statement in the hope that this may help. Am also looking into attending BIBIC (british Institute for Brain Injured Children) and wondered if anyone has attended? Sounds fab in the info they sent, but has anyone any personal experience of this? Live in Leeds and have noticed that it seems to depend on what area of the country you live in as to how much you have to battle for the help! Got meeting with Headteacher and SENCO tommorow to dicuss my lad, as they dont think 'he's that bad' Load of S**t. He eats anything thats on the floor, keeps going to bite other kids and has very little concentration. Thats only the short version. I'm wondering exactly what he goes to school for? If hes not disruptive 6 hours a day, hes not a problem apparently..... Enough moaning, see how I get on tomorrow. Glad to have found this site!!!!