Pets74

haven't been here for a while, so only just seen this. thoughts and prayers are with you. <'>

i used sat nav and still got lost. i am phobic of roundabouts. good luck.

what bard said I am NT and 33 and still waiting for my real family to come and claim me back. seriously hope it gets better, <'>

we have "home from home". he gets 26 or 28 days a year. he goes to another family, well they have all grown up now, but he goes to all their family events if he is there at the same time, spends time with the grandkids etc. very dubious when i started it as i thought i was a failure, but then my daughter needed special time too, so went through with it and never looked back. he goes for a weekend, or for a few days in the holidays. depending on what we need and commitments we have that aren't practical to do with him with us. we were recommended by his nursery (going back years) and then the social worker had to do a report. then we had a home visit, then they saw him in school (it was a slow process so he was in school when we got on the list) then my woman gave us 3 hours a week in my home while i went out, then she asked her worker if she could have him in the home from home situation that she was doing with another child too. so we agreed and very nervous at first but now so grateful. i get 26 nights sleep a year! i think i am lucky though. the hardest part was making the decision. hope you're not all asleep now. i do tend to go on and on.

mel <'> don't know what to say. my son swore at school but he picked it up from their playground. for what it's worth i would say it's the school who is at fault, not you being neurotic. can't offer any advice as i am on here for the same reasons. <'> hope you can get it sorted.

i was thinking of scanning the diary as his last years diary went "missing" then i felt like i was over reacting. going to scan it now though. they are going to close ranks aren't they? *prepares for battle*

calmed down a bit now. sending home/school diary direct to the head, and explaining what has gone on and what the lying cow is saying now. he is only violent to himself. she is soooo lying. can't accuse one thing and then change the story, how old is she 5? anyway, thanks for the advice and support. i am not going to back down on this. <'>

in response they are now saying that he is being violent at school. i have asked loads of times in his diary if he lashes out and it's always been no. now i have dared to challenge them they are saying he is violent. i am so angry i am in tears. don't know what to do now apart from rip her face off.

good luck <'>

oh yeah, *hunts around for a pen* thanks. should have thought of that. this rage stops me thinking.

right i have written my letter, and ready to take it in tomorrow. i cut out all the swear words, but in parts it does sound very confrontational. but i want to look like i mean business and am not going to roll over. i also have a fab GP who will say he is highly stressed if i explain the situation to him. the thing is i want to do it properly take all the right steps so they can't say i have done anything illegal. if they ask for a meeting i am going to request all the professionals mentioned above are involved. (thanks everyone for letting me know who i need to be talking to) got a feeling i will get a phone call but want any response in writing, so i have come back else it will turn into a he said/she said kind of argument. at the end of it all my concern is for my child only. his dad is concerned that home schooling will kill me with the lack of sleep and everything else, but if it comes to it, he knows we have to do something. thanks everyone. <'>

haven't done it. when the hospital didn't believe me (going back a while now) i took him to one of the meetings, and let him do his thing, without intervening . told them to sort it out. wonder if they ever got the curtains put back up. i know some kids behave in a different setting, but my kid was like a whirlwind through the place. should have seen them trying to tell him off-still makes me smile now- he did his "can't hear you" routine.

my son just doesn't need sleep, hasn't done since he was about 2 (he is now 13) we tried melatonin and think it was vallergen, but that made him zombie like and the melatonin stopped working. we were offered it again at his last medical, so i asked the doctor, if he wasn't tired did he really need it- he said no. so we decided against it. he will sleep a couple hours get up, watch a video upstairs, i put him in bed with me sometimes cos he can destroy his room if left alone. then another hour about 6 am. we have done miles and miles of walking, swimming, running, everything to tire him out, he just sleeps deep for a couple hours then is back up. i am totally shattered, try to get an hour while he is at school. <'> know how the sleepless nights feel.

Hi mel, i was thinking permanently or until this techer has been moved. or until he has moved. i asked at his last review if he could be integrated into his peer group as the unit he is in doesn't seem to be meeting his needs, he has some language and is in a group of non talkers-so his speech is not being encouraged. i am not being snobby or thinking he is better than anyone else, just his needs are different to what is being catered for in his group. and i have just found out that even though he is year 9, due to the upset children he has been moved into the upper school group. i have read through his reviews again and i am just getting angrier. i just found the mission statement (is that what it's called?) you know the ethos of the school so am going to use that and point out where they are failing with my child according to their own rules. you would think a unit in a special needs school would be the ideal place.

played on my sisters, excellent, i am fantastic at the tennis. i want one but no money yet so will have to wait.

aw bless. my son is a singer too, and a squealer. better at singing than talking, we have medley's of disney songs, songs from barny, R&B. i have no idea of how to get it to stop, (sorry giggling writing this as i can imagine your face when it has been going on for 3 hours straight) i know it's not funny really. it does get wearing, but i have no clue on how to make it stop. hope someone can help. <'> ps. i do apologise for the giggling, it's not at you or your predicament, just an empathy giggle.

thanks Cat, just had a quick look. will check it out properly when i have finished with all these dates. what annoys me is that parents have enough to do without all this extra cack on top. feels like you never stop fighting.

thank you. my protectiveness as his mum is sscreaming "get him out". i have got his home school diaries that i am going through this weekend to get dates i have his review forms too from the last two years where agreed practices have been documented. i was thinking of first writing to his main teacher, head of lower school, and his head. all at the same time and see what happens then. i am also going to do what has been suggested further up. it doesn't matter who does what it's always my boy that is being removed. just feel like it's not teaching any of the kids anything, by removing him everytime. and i think that because i have dared to question this teacher in the past that she has took against us. (that could just be paranoia though) he got off the bus tonight and screamed for an hour, got himself so worked up "no school no school" it's awful knowing he has to go back for another week. i will go on website and find a list of governors too. just feel so mad. big thanks.

my son is in an asd unit at a special needs school. nothing but problems. he developed this ear shattering scream a while ago and yes we are having trouble dealing with it. at school he has been removed repeatedly from class for "upsetting other pupils" even though some wind him up to get a reaction, sometimes he is just a nowty sod. he has been segregated in assembly and has to sit in the back on his own, i saw this when i went in recently, and there were louder kids than him sat with the rest of the school. he had a part in a school play and we worked on his words at home but they wouldn't let him say them he had to press a button which spoke for him-surely they should be encouraging his speech. they wouldn't let him do languages for his first 2 years, as it wasn't appropriate for him apparently, now he is doing french. as it fits in better with their plans. there has been other things too. i feel like they are not dealing with him, just making their life easier. i have asked for the reasons for time outs through the home/school diary, i have asked for a copy of his timetable and his IEP's and received nothing. i went to a meeting end of last school year and they said all my concerns would be addressed. they haven't been and i am now seeking a meeting with the head. until it's resolved am i allowed to take him out of school as i feel i could do more work with him at home. he is at the severe end but doesn't fit in their box of an asd pupil. so after all that moaning. am i legally allowed to take him out?

cos everything is my fault. there is 11 months between mine and the differences are huge. we are never gonna be free of each other, what kind of a life is that for him? think God screwed up big time. should have chosen someone better to educate and nurture him. tired of pretending that everything is ok. it's not and it never is gonna be. had 8 years to accept this and i still can't.

i hate my life. i hate the fact that i will never be able to nip off on holiday or even to the shops without sorting something out first. i hate the fact i still bath him at 13 i hate the fact that he has had a major regression and it's probably my fault, i hate walking down the road when parents are screaming at their kids to shut the eff up, what i wouldn't give to have mine talking at me, i hate the fact he will never know a lover's touch or what it's like to hold your own child, i hate that i am selfish and jealous, i hate the really horrible thoughts that come into my head.

<'> don't know what to say. i put my lad on the bus (shoeless and coatless if necesarry) and as his escort works in his unit, she lets me know if he doesn't settle. not pleasant but i know he is a manipulator. don't know how i would be if i had to drop him off at the school gates. no advice, sorry, but i know it's not easy. hope someone can help. <'>

hi elun i can really see where you are coming from. my son is at the severe end. i remember once going upstairs to check on him and he was lying in his own vomit, broke my heart cos he didn't know/couldn't call for help. he still doesn't ask for help, or shout if he needs me. very little speech, still have to bath him, brush his teeth, wipe his bottom (out of nappies 2 years now) and loads of little things that even 3 year olds do without thinking. we do loads with our son too, don't think anyone is saying that we don't (except the eejit on tv yesterday) it's just that my son i know will never be much more competant than he is now. yes he will continue to take baby steps, but he won't be independant in any way shape or form. he is 13 now. i also have the same worries about me dying and him being left alone, and maybe at risk, with the person he relies on most and understands him and loves him the most being gone. i accept my son, of course i do and i love him whole heartedly, but if i could make him a bit more wordly than i would. i don't know about curing, as i don't know who he would be. to me thats my boy, but for his own protection i would want him "better"(than he is atm). i know he is happy, and i am happy that he is happy, but it's so complex an issue and hard to put in words for me. hope some of that made sense.

me too.

i feel like he is taking us back to the start. with the bad parenting makes it so much harder when you're already surrounded by sceptics.