lorryw

Hi Amanda, I have some valerian stuff at the back of a cupboard somewhere. It smells absolutely foul. Ive tried all sorts of concoctions over the years, none of them made a jot of difference and they are always so expensive. Some adults swear by these things , perhaps its mind over matter and they persuade themselves they will help them to sleep. In moments of desperation I still find myself heading towards Boots in search of the ultimate solution. love Loraine

Hi Moncs, I also work in education and I dont feel that this thread attacks teachers. It is the system that is failing both schools and children. I am more than aware that teachers are left to flounder with children they have no idea how to deal with. This includes children with a multitude of learning and behavoural difficulties which for whatever reasons were not seen in schools even a few years ago. The closure of special schools and inclusion has led to chaos and heartbreak for parents. Parents are often led to believe that once a child enters school the help and assistance they so desperately need will meet them at the door. Sadly this isnt true and the first person in the line of fire is the teacher. I dont know what the answer is, perhaps a complete rethink of the education system, but I dont think the powers that be would agree.

The other problem is that the expertise is just not there for dealing with our children. Teachers just dont receive adequate training. Especially now with the government fast tracking graduates into teaching within a year. I have spoken to several newly qualified teachers who said that SEN was dealt with in one session and autism only mentioned in passing. Teachers are often sent on 2 day courses and then regarded as autism experts who pass on their knowledge (hmph!) to the rest of the staff. I have heard some absolute rubbish spouted which would be funny if it wasnt so tragic.

I have just read a thread on the TES about inclusion, teachers in the most part are very anti. How do parents feel about inclusion? Do you feel your child should have a place in a mainstream class or special school? What is the (fairyland time) ideal if resources and funding was no object?

Thanks guys, Ill pass the information on to her. Apparently it was a woman from Connections who broke the news and then added that she couldnt be contacted because she didnt have an office. All questions would have to be directed through school. Could it be made any harder??

My friend recently (November) her sons annual review. It was agrred that the placement would continue until July 2006 (when he reaches 19). He attends an FE unit for ASD children within a special needs school. My friend has been awaiting written confirmation of the review when out of the blue she had a telephone call explaining that the unit was changing its criteria from Sept 05 and would be taking pupils with challenging behaviour ans ASD. They explained that this meant friends son was no longer suitable for the unit and could no longer fund him. Her only option (according to them) was for her to apply to a local 6th form coolege, have him rejected and then they could consider keeping him on. This sounds a total mess as far as Im concerned and my friend is completely stressed out. She has no idea who to turn to for impartial advice. We have both had dealings with Parents in Partnership who were a complete waste of space. Any ideas or suggestions would be a real help. I still find it hard to believe that even this late in the game our children are still messed around by a so called education sytem. cheers Loraine

Well done Lisa, I have had major tussles with the DLA in the past. Several years ago I watched a television programme featuring 3 families with autistic children. One of the little lads was exactly like my son and the mother mentioned they recieved higher rate mobility. I decided to reapply to the DLA for higher limit mobility which was rejected. I appealed and was rejected again and chose to go to tribunial. On the day of the tribunial I was a nervous wreck but it was worth it. I was greeted by an usher who said cheerily not to worry because I wouldnt be long. The appeal panel apologised and admitted they were shocked that the DLA had chosen to let the situation go to these lengths. Smiles and hand shakes all round and the benefit was backdated for 2 years, from the first time I had applied and been refused. If at first you dont suceed........

Hi Carole, Yep, the whole system is stacked against us and our kids. Im sure the powers that be would rather we crawled away and never return. We have had a cruddie (lovely word!) past 6 months. My lad has now left school and is at home with me. Social services have nothing in place for him although they have been aware of his needs since his transition review 5 years ago. We have had countless visits from different agencies, all who are totally ignorant or have a stereo typical view of autism. They listened to his school who advised that he couldnt leave school premises unless he had 4 members of staff in case of melt down and restraint. I had no idea about this and was furious. I now realise that services only exist for those who fit the criteria. My son and I have spent everyday at home since July. He is perfectly happy but I realise this cant go on forever. I am being perfectly reasonable and not asking for the moon. All I want is for him to go somewhere for a few hours, enjoy himself and come home. They are treating him as though he is one removed from the incredible hulk. I am also continuously pointing out that an army of young people will soon need services but it always seems to be someone elses problem. Rant over, I shall have a cup of tea, a bath and watch Corrie Cheers Loraine

Sorry Carole and Simon, I wasnt trying to be flippant. I am well aware of the difficulties autistic children have in coping with school. My own son is 19 and had a horrnedous couple of years. He is profoundly autistic, non verbal and has severe learning difficulties and attended an SLD school who had absolutely no idea how to deal with him. I just felt from Sues post that a little reassurance was appropriate. She did say that he was OK at lunchtime and perhaps he will settle. Our children are all so different and present with different problems. My own experiences with my son would be of little relevance to Sue and her little lad, but my experience with language unit children may be helpful. Best wishes Loraine

Hi Sue If its any consolation lots of children have problems leaving Mum and Dad at the school gate, asd or not. I work in a Primary school and we have at least 5 children in my class who have real problems. After a quick cuddle and a few tissues they soon bounce back, its the poor parent I feel sorry for. The best way to deal with it (we have discovered)is to be very unemotional, a quick goodbye and then leave. George will feel your tension and respond to it. If he feels that you are quite happy to leave him he will pick up on this. If he is happy when you pick him up and he has a good day try not to worry. take care, Loraine

Hi Kirstie I would look at the long term if I were in your shoes, from what you are saying he doesnt seem to be getting a great deal from nursery. Perhaps he needs a complete change of setting and he wiil be starting school within the next year. Visit the unit a couple of times and get a feel for whats going on. Ask as many questions as you can,, How do they deal with any problems that may arise, do they have an outreach worker etc. The more you find out the more confident you will feel about sending him. Would you be able to have help at home from another source possibly linked to school? It may be the fresh start that he needs, perhaps he associates nursery with feeling unhappy and frustrated and that affects his behaviour at home. Good luck with whatever you decide Loraine

Does diet make an impact on autism? I am intrigued by the amount of information regarding diet and supplements on the net. Does it really have any benefits or not. I have just read of a parent seeking a low sugar, fruit free, milk free and wheat free diet. Surely that is harmful to a growing child. I would love to hear some opinions cheers Loraine

Thanks Carol, it is really worrying that all these children wont be able to access all the help they need. With the best will in the world the education and health system is just not geared up at all. I have spent most of my sons life being told , oh I dont know anything about autism, I havent come across it. My sons schooling was an absolute nightmare. He doesnt speak and was in nappies until 5. He went to a brilliant language unit for a year where he was toilet trained and learning makaton. After a year his statement was changed and he was sent to an SLD school and despite years of fighting thats where he stayed..absolute nightmare. We are now at the other end of the roadm looking for day care... absolutely nothing!!! At the moment I am waiting for the social worker to call with the latest decision on what they feel is appropriate. My son and I have been home together since July. We are both quite happy at the moment but feel as though we are in some kind of weird vacuum. I do a little work from home,he keeps himself occupied watching TV, messing around in the garden, eating...... Just read that it sounds really depressing!!! We are fine and after all the traumas of school life is 100 per cent easier...but it isnt the answer. When I mention to SS that a whole army of kids are about to decend on them they nod wisely and quickly change the subject. Loraine x

I have to say that I feel quite concerned about the diagnosis of autism in very young children To be diagnosed at a very young age (before 3) is surely too early. The whole system has completely changed over the years. When my son was diagnosed 15 years ago the professionals were very reluctant to give a life long label. At the time the diagnosise was extremely rare. I live in a very large town and was told that he was the first person the hospital had seen with autism in the past 10 years. Now there seems to have been an explosion of kids given this life changing diagnosis. I work in education and even a few years ago most of the staff were completely clueless when I said my son was autistic. Now, at least 2 children in every class are suspected by teaching staff of being autistic, suddenly everyone is an expert!! The diagnosis is only the start and sadly isnt a golden key to answers or practical help. I am very concerned that parents are given the diagnosis and then sent on there way to get on with it. I have read a thread on another site where one Mum is trying every possible therapy, diet or intervention she can find., no matter how bizzare. Her poor children are being pulled from pillar to post, fed a very restrictive diet and given goodness knows what concoctions she has found on the web. When we were told my son had severe learning difficulties and autistic features we were totally alone. For most parents I dont think anything has really changed and sites like this are a real god send Sorry this is such a rambling thread but I would be interested in any thoughts you may have cheers Loraine

Hi everyone, I am so pleased to have found this site. I have had a quick flick through the posts(2 hours!!) and it seems to be just what Im looking for. My name is Loraine and I am the Mum of a nineteen year old. He left school 3 months ago and I am now his full time carer. We are waiting for Social Services to put something in place but they have decided he is a square peg in a round hole, which has really been the story of his life. Any way we love him to bits ewven though he drives us to distraction! Loraine