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teachermum1

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About teachermum1

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  1. You know that I know the difficulties with having a violent child who needs routine - our boys are very very similar and always have been. I too have no family help and often find it impossible to keep my J safe. I guess the difference is that SS have put support in here, at home (because I have never wanted J in residential, and he's soooo young, not just in age but in behaviour, so they HAD to find an at-home solution, if you know what I mean) which means that J is off on activities with his play worker for a few half-days a week and also with the local autism service-again, with workers who he knows. This means he gets access to activities but then comes home for his home routine. I get time with him, but also time apart - like you say, most children do other things in the holidays and I agree that our children should be able to too. I just think it's sad for you and him that they haven't found a way to support you to have him at home more, but if you're happy with it, that's the main thing.
  2. It's a shame they can't put anything in place at home though. If he's at residential all term and then in respite 4 days a week in the holidays, you hardly see him. Glad they're offering more support but maybe they could think more creatively about how to help you have him at home.
  3. J is gifted in many areas and probably has a very high IQ (if he was testable). His reading age is 6 years above his actual age and his computer skills are beyond those of most adults. His dx is autism. He scored virtually full marks on his ADOS test i.e. very severe. There is NOTHING in the official DSM-IV or ICD-10 diagnostic criteria about high intelligence precluding an autism dx!
  4. It doesn't mean there's nothing wrong, and I'm sure it's not your parenting - ADHD might make sense. I would say though that if his ADOS came back as no ASD stuff, it's probably right. The point about autism is that it's pervasive - they're not just autistic some days and not others, and the ADOS is designed to spot very subtle signs. Yes, we know our kids better than anyone, but the psychs are the experts in autism. That's just my view. I hope you get some answers soon.
  5. Do appeal! It's dead easy, even if it gets to Tribunal - the form is only like 4 pages! In the last 15 months, J went from mid rate care and low mobility to NOTHING to mid rate care and low mobility again to high rate care and low mobility to high rate for mobility and care!
  6. I haven't, but hear that it's most common in potentially high cost cases e.g. for v expensive private schools. The DD ones are less likely to have a legal rep for the school because, sadly, even if the school lose, the only compensation they will have to give is an apology/ reinstatement/ staff training, so it doesn't cost them much if they win or lose, so they don't seem to bother paying out for a legal rep!
  7. J was also on an IEP at 3, at nursery. It was called a Play plan, but it was just the same as an IEP and they're talking out of their bums! J was on a Statement at the age of 4 , so if you can Statement them, you can certainly IEP them,as J had IEPs to go along with the Statement. If you have a parent partnership organisation, might be a time to involve them. Good luck.
  8. It took a while to be accepted by the Disability Team as the dx wasn't yet formalised when we first applied in 2007, but I actually quite rate them now. The SW arranged a play worker to go with J to leisure activities twice a week year round (and she's ace) - it was a choice of that or 5 hours of direct payments, bought J a weighted blanket, offered 4 hrs respite a week (though I didn't think he was old enough so declined) got an OT team round to do an adaptations assessment and has generally been really supportive at reviews etc.
  9. I didn't mean why were you worrying in a bigger sense - I totally get all that and have been through a Tribunal myself, but if the teacher is already supportive, why is it panicking you? Not trying to be unsympathetic, but I genuinely don't understand why it's panicking you if they already said the right things the first time - why wouldn't they the second time?
  10. If the teacher has already written a supportive letter, presumably she'll just repeat that in the school report? Why does this worry you so much? The school can only report on what they see there BUT your evidence evidences what you see at home and they can look at both things together.
  11. For me, this forum has been very helpful. I think I would agree with baddad that the polarisation tends to be over issues where people perceive autism being used as an excuse vs. people who are very bruised by society's failure to make adjustments for autism - and both sides see the others' views as an attack on them. Also I agree that the generalisations about social workers/ teachers/ school etc. aren't helpful, especially when some of us are in those professions as well as being parents. People take their own experience and assume it is how things are. I think that's human - but not always helpful. I suppose it's like something I was teaching my pupils today about different viewpoints on situations: 'it's up to me', 'me against the world' and 'the world's against me'. I guess I go through phases with them all - most of the time, I feel that J needs to be parented in a way that respects him enough to realise that he has choices, that his autism isn't all he is. He can usually choose whether or not to walk out of the room or to stay and hit someone now - didn't used to be able to, but mostly can now. So I expect him to make that choice if possible. But equally when the school talk about him 'choosing' to do x, y or x when I know that there probably wasn't a lot of conscious choice in it, I will expect there to be understanding and not criticism from the school. I may accept or even give a punishment for J, but only if I feel it is justified - as he gets older, I know that most of it is justified because it has helped his behaviour improve (it is working) and he is able to make better choices, so rewarding him for good choices and giving consequences for bad ones works. I sometimes find it hard to see which is a choice and which isn't, but rarely. I usually know. I hope that I am being a good parent by trying to push him to live beyond the definition of a static autistic kid who is just the way he is. I expect the world to do a lot of adjusting for J, but equally try to help J make some adjustments for the world he lives in, ideal or not. But I know some people disagree with me and would see my position as a challenge to their own. They may even feel defensive. Perhaps we're all so used to fighting something, even if it's only an internal fight, that it carries across into here. I think the mods do a great job and I hope people's perceptions improve. Me, I like a debate and to hear others' opinions. If I wanted just mine, I'd talk to myself, but I can see that people bruised from their real life battles might sometimes find it a bit stressful and will try to bear it in mind.
  12. Yep, J has a social worker and it's not remotely about care proceedings! She's a disability team social worker, not a child protection team one, and most autistic children round here have access to one! Like any situation, there are some good and bad parents, good and bad teachers, good and bad social workers...while we can only go off our own experience, we can't generalise about any group of people based just on that. Edited to say that J's social worker is brilliant - has organised all kinds of opportunities for him that we'd never have had otherwise
  13. I don't think that it should be left to the school to request Statements as some wouldn't bother as they would know they'd be expected to fund or provide more support than they wanted to. BUT I think Statements of SEN should only be for those who need it most - not necessarily because they're x many years behind or because they're out of control, but certainly not just because they have a diagnosis of something. It should be done off need - how needy are they and how much more help do they need than that which can be provided for by the school? Schools will always have an input because if a child is functioning OK at school (medicated or not, if they're doing OK ,then they're doing OK) then they don't need a Statement. Statements have always been intended to be for a small number of children with needs which cannot be met by the school by itself. If the school can meet a child's needs, there is no need for a Statement (though the system needs to be tightened to ensure that schools provide enough help without Statements being needed)
  14. J gets high rate mobility (after a Tribunal) on the basis of severe mental impairment and severe behavioural problems. BUT that route is very hard to prove (took me over a year) and the unable to walk due to pain/ physical problems seems to be easier to prove. Good luck
  15. JsMum, they're trying for the EBD school because there's nowhere round here for academically bright ASD kids. It's either a school for lower-functioning, non-verbal kids (and J is far far too verbal) or a school for generic learning difficulties or an EBD school. Or a private school an hour away which will cost �80,000 a year. So that's why he will stay in mainstream, because I want him there (for good reasons) and the LEA want him there (for bad, financial reasons, but hey - suits me for now)...at least I hope that's how the LEA will respond to the Annual Review recommendations. While there's something in school that J likes (and he openly says that he loves school and his friends), he will go there.
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