bluefish

Hi I really need some advice, ds has been clean and dry for about two years. he did smear for about six months but I thought it was somthing he had grown out of. Ds is almost 6 and has in the last week started pooing in his pants.... I have not made a big deal of it and have praised him for being clean but tonight he pooed into his hands and presentrted it to me I am so scared that he might be regresssing!! but also dont know how to handle the pooh thing my mum thinks he needs to be punished but I think he is autustic and needs to be encouraged every step of the way advice please

Hi I really sympathise, ds had this problem and pooed in his pants everyday he also smeared if I wasn't quick on my toes.I totally understand. I remember I once took a phone call and left ds in the lounge..... the smell made me quickly end the call. He had hand printed the hall....even bleach was not enough and I had to re-paint to get rid of the stained prints! I was at my wits end. We went back to using nappies for a bit as they were just so much eaiser than pants or pull ups, then I re introduced the potty, we went and bought a poo potty(I probably sound ridiculus at this point) and it really worked for ds. touching wood as we speak we used the potty for about six months and he progressed to the toilet. When we are out we still have the odd accident but the smearing has stopped. As far as I am aware there was nothing wrong with ds bowl just a behavior thing and he could not cope with using the loo. So this advice may be of no help. But I wanted you to know I have been on my knees in tears cleaning up and hope you find a solution soon thinking of you x

Thomas the tank(of course) and the Highwaycode....signs signs signs and road maps! Ds is 5 and a half. Signs have been his thing for almost two years now ...yawn..

Hi ds has started bitting his nails to the point his fingers are raw and it must really hurt! he is not stressed but cant seem to stop doing it! on some fingers there is almost no nail left at all! any advice very welcome.. a friend suggested bitter alows to paint on but I think that will distress ds. I cant seem to get him to understand he will make his fingers sore. thanks in advance for any advice

Hi. I have often been on here moaning (with good reason) about school. Now we have been at new school 5 weeks and things are perfect! Ds got upset in p.e. he went back to class with the ta and had a story, he was calm and the other children did not have their lesson dissrupted, he didnt make it to the toilet on time and they found him some pants with road signs on (his current obsession)so he was delighted rather than disstresed.communication is fantastic and they explain changes to ds so I do not get a disstresed little boy arrive home, the reason for this post is I had lost faith in the education system and now it has been restored. A school might not be bad but it might not be right for your child. try another! I just wanted to say it IS worth moving school rather than constantly fighting with a school that are not meeting your childs needs.

Hi, FANTASTIC news and there is no reason it wont continue! My son has just finished his 5th week at his new school(we had loads of problems with last one as you probably remember!)and things are still fantastic! He is really happy, the staff are wonderfull with him and the older children have had his difficulties explained and look after him!!!!!I have been holding my breath for things to go wrong as it all felt almost too good to be true but 5 weeks later My happy little boy skips into school, he talks about school and due to great communication between school and ds he is calm! Well done to you both I am sure things will get better and better! lin

Today I feel sad I hate autisum,nomally I cope and embrace it but today I found out a friend of mine who is a child minder has alittle girl that is going to a cdc next week and I feel so very sad. I have met this child only a handful of times and knew she was probably autistic, I am not sure why I feel so upset, maybe because I know the news that awaits the family?I do not want anyone to go through what I did and wish I could soften the blow. Dont get me wrong my son is amazing but autism has changed everything, my hopes and deams for my son have changed, but it breaks my heart that another family will go through what I had to go through. I often still have days that I cry and I wonder if that will ever end

Hi my son was dx'd in december 2007 and even though I knew that it was coming i will never forget that day as long as I live, 17th December 2007 2pm It was put in writting and it was real I felt like I had been kicked in the face by a horse. Even if you know and have fought to get a dx( I did not know and nursery started the ball rolling) it is still a huge blow. try to relax god dam it hurts but your child is the same child you loved and adored and the" label" will open doors to get support they need. Thinking if you But remember nothing has changed just means more help may be available xx

Good luck with the change of school! I really hope all goes smoothly. It is a worring time when you take the plunge to move as we do not know how are children will cope and I know I was scared things might be the same or worse.... But things could not be better. please let me know how you get on! My fingers and toes will be crossed for your ds and you!!! Lin

Hi, I have not been on here for a while but thought I would update about new school. I was driving myself mad that I could have made the wrong discision and should have home educated rather than try a new school... Well, we are in week 2 and ds has setteled amazingly! He loves it, and the staff seem to be interested and dedicated, communication is fantastic and almost too good to be true! Ds has had none of the disstressing behavior at home that he was showing everyday when at old school. He was out of school over two months and his behavior was good and he was not stressed so I was really nervous that things would get bad again once he started school! It is crazy that two schools could be So different. His statement is now adheared to and he is recieving fantastic support from caring staff. I really have the welfare officer to thank as she sugessted this school and visited them to talk about ds before we applied Thanks for all the advice and support when I was having problems at old school!

Hi, he was turned down by village school but this is another one and I think fate must play a part as the school that has offered him a place is perfect! We went today to meet his sen ta and he had a wonderfull afternoon. I was worried about all the usual like iep, home school dirary, visual timetable etc and was thinking I would have to raise all these issues ( even had a visual timetable I had made them in my bag!) and EVERYTHING is all ready and waiting to go!!!!!!!!!! They gave me a copy of school timetable so I know what is happening on what day, they brought up the diary and told me when he will have his support..... I could have burst into tears of joy! all the children were excited to see him and his sen support has worked with other children on the spectrum. I feel like I have won the lottery! It has been a tough couple of months going against the grain espesially as we live in a very small community. But I think if things are as good at new school as I think they are going to be it was the best desision I have ever made

he he every one i our house is mr we have mr mouse a gerbil! mr fish x two and of corse all the mr men books that require respect!!!!!

Hi and welcome to the forum, I have a 5 year old and have found the support and advice here fantastc! hope you will benefit from the many knowledgable and supportive members as I have

Hi,just wondered if anyone else has found this? Ds seems to think his toys or books can get cold or upset he also greets them like you would greet a person... he says good morning to his books and asks them how they are, he became distressed that I had left a window open when we went out as he said his book would be cold. He seems to treat them in the same way he treats the people in his life. He is 5 and half and in some areas around 2 years behind his peers. Just wondered if this was something children do as part of development?

Hi, I heard today that the paperwork is going through and ds can start at the village school after half term! I am delighted that this saga is coming to an end. I went and met with the new school with ds last week as Welfare lady asked them to meet us before I made official request and the school would have recieved his statement etc. The school were amazing welcoming, ds loved the visit. I have a very good feeling about it! I am of course very nervous having had such a negative experience at last school but fingers crossed my posts from now on could be filled with good news..... watch this space

Hi, I had the welfare officer round today (at my request) as the school I had applied for turned ds down.We could of course pick holes in the silly two pages of reasons they dont want him but why would I want him to go where he is not wanted and by a Ht that has been infulensed by the old school! anyway I had decided to home educate and wanted to disscuss this with welfare officer to make sure I was keeping everyone in the loop. Anyway not only was she supportive of my decision but asked me to hang fire and allow her to approach a small village school and speak to them about ds before they recieve his documents to see if they could meet his needs. I was very wary of welfare but this lady seems to have mine and ds best interests at heart. She said she understands my situation and supports any desision I make however does not want me to make a knee jerk decision and wants to see if this school will welcome and embrase my son. I have stressed I am not prepared for ds to go to a school that might fail him and would rather H.E. she seems to understand. Just a post really to say their are some nice and dedicated people out there......

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post you have helped lots, I am feeling very sad and very confussed tonight so thank you.

Hi, as many of you will know I removed my son from his school in December as his needs were not being met even with a 15 hr statement. since then the improvement in his stress levels and his behaviour have been amazing. Anyway I applied to a new school in December LA agreed and all his paperwork was sent to them.Due to the Christmas break they did not have to respond untill this week........ I heard today they will not be offering him a place! Education officer said there are two pages of reasons that he has posted to me today so I will get in morning. I am very very upset, but will not fight the decision as I will not let my child go where for whatever reason he is not wanted. My question is Home Education. I have tried to find answers to some questions I have but am not having much luck can anyone answer these questions? If I de-register can I expect any support and advice with regard to home educating? Will I be able to request visits from LA on a regulsr basis to ensure ds is recieving age appropriate education? Can I if I want work from the national curriculum? Can I put ds back at school at a later date (not that I will) when he is older? Will ds when he is older be able to take any exams if it is appropriate Can I apply for any outside help with his education as he has a statement at present? can I request any input from specialist advisory teaching services? I am 99% sure this is what I want to do but I am quite scared at making the desision. I think in my heart I know it is the right thing for ds but as a single parent it is a very serious desision and a big commitment, but even if I find a school that will take him I am not sure I can run the risk of him being failed again and think maybe it is time to cut my loses and make sure ds is looked after,safe, happy and well without me having to constantly fight. I also wondered if social services might give me direct payments for a couple of hours a week? could I use that for someone to take him swimming or help with home education? Sorry this is rambling Thanks to anyone with any advice Lin

Hi, I found this very difficult to do too! I am in the middle of bed time routine now but will pm you later with what I put so it might give you some ideas. can not promice it will be tonight but definatley by tomorrow Lin

Hi and welcome As Tally said you may well be part of your sons routine. My son thrives on routine and struggles when it changes, if your son copes well with your visits that is fantastic, my only advice would be if for any reason that routine needs to change and you need to change or cancel a visit try to make sure your son is fully prepared and understands in advance where possible. We use a visual timetable at home to show any change to his routine and this greatly helps.

Hi Elliot Welcome to the forum

Hi, I had EWO visit today. ds has been out of school 10 days..... is this normal? I have removed him whilst waiting for new school to sort out paperwork and lsa. I was not prepared to lie to school and say he was ill as I 100% believe I am doing the right thing for my son by not allowing him to go back to old school, so when I had a call from the ht I said he was not coming back. Now today whislt we were out feeding the ducks I had a note through the door from EWO asking me to ring asap.... as soon as I got home I called and the welfare officer came 10 mins later. Very nice woman and I explained why he was off but I am shocked after ten days I had a visit. This is all so stressfull and I am upset I feel under the microscope for not sending ds to school with good reason! I am happy that welfare are on the ball as I am aware they need to make sure children are safe and well, but if it makes any sence at all I felt hurt. ds is not at school through no fault of our own and I am just doing what is best for him...... WEO is going to get on to new school to try to hurry things up, but I just feel a bit sad that as a parent how much hassel I have to go through to get what ds needs and deserves

Hi I think that if a child with asd is going to attend school then the least we should expect is that the teachers should research a little about the condition, listen to us as parents and accsess specialist advisory teaching services advice where applicable. Inclusion in my opinion should mean just that,I do not expect all teaching staff to be proffesionals in asd but I do expect them to have a basic knowledge and more importantly an INTEREST and to take on board what we as parents tell them might affect our children. I have not had a positive experience with staff and have not been listened to. I think that as long as school staff are open and take on board what as parents we say and then deal with our children with that in mind and do what they feel is right things would be ok. I do not want to limit my sons experiences by telling school "he cant do this he hates that" but I do want them to understrand that some things could be a big deal for him.

Hi coolblue Education officer said " if your child is not fit for school then you do not have to send him" He was unable to make further comment as he reminded me that legally my son has to go to school! He has been very kind and understanding but when I asked him what I should do he remained firm that it was his job to inform me ds legally had to be at school and educational welfare would become involved if it was prolonged absence even though he understood my reasons