witsend

LEA sent once sent me a proposed statement with the name of my younger son 'S' on instead of my older son 'D'!! Gawd knows how that happened as S hadn't even started school at that time! Unfortunately it seems to of been a bit prophetic anyway! Luv Witsend.

Wow - Marmalade I'm gobsmacked at what I've just read! It's unbelievable the school are putting your daughter at risk like this. These are really serious child safety/protection issues never mind school policy issues! I agree with ddh about keeping a log of all incidents, and yes you should be arranging a meeting with the new head asap next term. Does your dd have a statement? If so then I'd be calling for a review meeting asap too to discuss all of the problems your having with the school. Do you have a representative like someone from parent partnership who could also help fight your corner? Also I think even though there is a new head starting next term and hopefully they will be more effective than the present one, it may be an idea to write to the LEA with your concerns and arrange a meeting with them to discuss it. At least you have a few weeks to gather your strength and get organised now ready for battle!! Good luck - Luv Witsend.

Oh cariad - what a ###### kick in the teeth - so sorry <'> . If it was res school you were looking at is there nowhere a bit further afield, with it being residential you are wanting it does broaden your search area a bit, but am guessing you've considered all that? <'> More wine needed I think Luv Witsend.

What do you do hey hes no ###### shame if it aint womens underwear hes banging on hes cavorting round bollock naked.We keep on trying.Youve gotta laugh else youd scream My lad does this too, he is twelve and nearly as tall as me!! Like you say it's not a pretty sight! Luv Witsend.

Hello and welcome Luv Witsend.

Lizzie - <'> - I can see where your coming from on this one, after coming to terms with DS 1 AS and fighting all the usual battles with school etc to get them to recognise it I had mixed feelings when Ds son 2 started school last Sept (differant school to Ds 1 due to the probs I had with them) and this school immediately picked up on Ds 2 'problems' (waiting for ADHD dx tbc). In one way i was v impressed at the way the school were straight in there recognising his difficulties (mind you they were tipped off from nursery! ) and they were the ones asking to meet me for once, they also got an ed psych on the case pretty quick and then got funding in place for help for Ds 2!! Wow I was really amazed after having to fight all the way for Ds 1 and I still am glad I sent Ds 2 to this school now and not to Ds 1's old primary - but I too had that all too familiar sinking feeling of here we go again . I am more laid back about the whole process now having been there before and knowing like you say he is still his lovely self, it's just the thought of all the meetings/strategies/difficulties to come which sometimes can still overwhelm me. I often still think maybe it's just Ds 1's behaviour that Ds 2 is copying but really I know it's more than that. I find it all particularly ironic because Ds 2 is adopted, people often say (somewhat insensitively - though I know they don't mean to be) "how unlucky is that"?!! Thing is at the end of the day they are my kids, they are what and who they are, they are fab and I love them . Same as it is for you - some of us were obviously meant to be a bit differant that's all eh? Take care - Luv Witsend.

Rach - oh and earwigs he puts them in his brothers lego box so they can have babies !!!! Sorry - but thank you that tickled me and was in need of a laugh Luv Witsend.

Just wanted to say thanks for the replies - Ds has well and truly decided he does not want to go on the trip. I've calmed down about it all now, have said it's OK and at least he spoke up now and not at the airport . Also expalined we should pay Grandad his deposit back (although my Dad has said there's no need - bless him) and Ds was fine about that has worked out a payment plan from his pocket money (this makes me feel a bit mean but am just trying to teach him consequances really). So crises over ('til next year?? ) Cheers - Luv Witsend.

<'> <'> Luv Witsend.

Great news . Luv Witsend.

Understand how you feel - but think I would keep him off on the proviso that he sees the GP tomorrow about it. If it is infected and left untreated it could track up his foot and get pretty nasty and it's unlikely to resolve itself without antibiotics. I know when kids have so much time off because of 'emotional' issues it can make you reluctant to keep them over anything physical you normally wouldn't have to think twice about, but the toe does sound pretty bad. Stuff the woman on reception - does she have to live your life? No! she is there to take messages not to make judgements and I'd be tempted to tell her that if she's funny with you! Well I would if I was in strong mode otherwise would probs just cry . If you cant bear ringing couldn't you get someone else to do it? Or just not ring and send a note in when he goes back - if anyone says anything then you could explain how uncomfortable this woman makes you feel the hopefully she will feel very guilty . Take care Luv Witsend.

That's awful - good for you in complaining, ignorant comments like that can undermine so much so quickly - really hope the school does something about it so it doesn't happen again. Not surprised your son dislikes him - what a jerk! Luv Witsend.

Hey - hi Viper - I remember you, I do remember you going but honestly don't know what it was all about (often don't get chance to visit for days at a time) I'm betting it wasn't that bad whatever it was none of us are perfect and I do remember you posting and being supportive to folks here. So I'm happy to see you back love. Welcome back aboard <'> Luv Witsend.

Have lost count of his collections over the years, I do remember: cuddly toys bottle tops cards of all kinds comics/magazines star wars stuff marvel characters socks!! toy cars fire engines dr who stuff chocolate/sweet wrappers labels I could go on and on am sat laughing remembering the various collections now. Usually with all the collections he either lines them all up perfectly, or 'displays' them on shelves or ferrrets thenm away in a special place! He does this a bit less now recently - or so i thought until when I gave his room a damn good clear out recently and found a long line of perfectly lined up cars under his bed!! For some reason that made me cry! Oh and just thought of another one - tea towels!! (that one makes me laugh!) I do find it quite endearing really. Luv Witsend.

Hi - well a few weeks ago eldest son came home from (new) school and annouced he'd put his name down for a school trip - turns out the trip is ski-ing in France next February! I was really surpsrised D wanted to go because he has always had a fear of flying and refused to go anywhere near a plane (hence holidays in cornwall ). Anyway when I spent quite a while making sure he really did want to go, he told me some of his new freinds were going to look after him on the plane and he was desperate to go, went on and on about it for days . The trip costs �800.00 I can't afford it but my Dad offered to pay and is actually enjoying doing something nice for D which he thinks he really appreciates! He has already paid �75.00 deposit. So now last night D became very distressed and ended up telling me he doesn't want to go on the trip now!! He was crying his eyes out saying he is too scared to fly (is scared of plane crashing - which he always has been - and now after seeing the news recently isterrified of terrorists! ). No amount of reasssurance would convince him otherwise adn in teh end I just said OK don't go if you don't want to but we will have to work out a way to pay grandad back ( he was very nochalant about the money - like it's nothing! ). I was really cross last night because I'm dreading having to tell my Dad and the school, and I had asked him so many times if he was sure........... Today I feel more like i should have seen it coming I suppose I was just so pleased he wanted to go and seemed to be gaining confidence. Thing is today when I spoke to him about it he said he doesn't know what to do!! My nerves are on edge now if he says he does want to go and Dad pays rest of money I'm worried sick he may just change his mind a gain at last minute! Don't know wether to just take over and say right your not going which feels mean but I just can't let my Dad spend all that money for nothing, or wether to try and persuade him to go and keep my fingers crossed! He will be 13 by the time they go on the trip I think all the other kids are going and I think he would really enjoy it once he was there, BUT I really don't know if he will get on that plane! He has finished school for summer now, I didn't send the next instalment in today and haven't told dad (or school )anything yet. Just keep thinking now it would be easier if he doesn't go but don't know what to do if he starts saying he wants to go again!! Help - what would you do?? Luv Witsend.

This sounds a bit crazy I would of thought they could give TA a copy with your permission. I'm sure I have been to review meetings re son and everyone there seems to have a copy of his statement (and that has been quite a lot of people in the past!! ) I know statement is a 'legal document' though so maybe there are some implications there?? At least you are going to meet with TA so you can point out all the important stuff and refer to statement yourself. Luv Witsend.

Thinking of you <'> hang in there <'> keep us posted. Luv Witsend.

Thanks Tally - when we went to GP re bi polar he actually said (deliberately) in front of me that ex was dx in 1990 with personality disorder! He tried to get ex to elaborate about it while I was there but he claimed not to remember anything about it at all!! When I asked ex about it afterwards he still said he couldn't remember! Just after he left and I was v worried about him I rang GP and althoug he is bound by confidentaility so couldn't say much he did say it was "highly unusual" for someone to 'forget' something like that. Gp also said that he had made sure I was aware ex had psychi past when we went together so I would know but that he coudn't give details but I should think carefully about being with someone who will not tell me about their past, and that if someone has a personality disorder then I should bear in mind there is no treatment, he told me I am not responsible for ex but should look after myself and my children! Having said that ex has since told me Gp says he prob has cyclothymia (kind of lesser bi polar thing) but I've come to realise I can't trust what ex says - so I remain pretty confused. Have read about cyclothymia and personality disorders and can see both in my ex, am worn out trying to analyse it. ex refuses to let me attend GP or any other psych appointments with him so I guess now I'll never know the full story. But like you say it is his treatment of me which is unacceptable whatever the actual diagnosis. I can imagine you have been through a really rough time I hope you get the financial stuff sorted out soon so you can move on - take care - luv witsend.

Thank you so much for all your kind words and for sharing your personal experiances - it all helps me feel less alone with it (it's not the kind of thing you just drop into conversation ). Have spent the past couple of evening with bubble baths, white wine and a good book and as flora suggested it does help a bit. It is at least easier to relax now ex is not here and I'm not walking on eggshells the whole time. Have had some text contact with him so know he is ok (well sort of) he is hoping we can remain friends but that's just in his rational moments much of the rest of the time he is very paranoid and thinks I am trying to harm him . So I guess I wuill just have to play it by ear. Frangipani sounds like you've been through a really rough time <'> glad you've come through it. Tally your ex's attitude about his probs sounds very similar to mine, do you stil have any contact with him? Thanks again to you all - Luv Witsend.

Hi - well didn't know where (or wether) to post this really. Not anything to do with AS really but cos I've been a member here so long and regard so many of you lovely people as friends just wanted to say that have split from fiance recently and so am feeling bit down in the dumps . Basically have always known he was 'eccentric' was one of the things I loved about him (we are hardly a typical household here anyway ) but over the past few months his behaviour has become increasingly bizarre and worrying , anyway to cut a long sad story short I (and GP) think he has bi polar disorder (turns out he has a psychiatric history I was not aware of!) he left about a month ago and things have now got to the point where despite my best efforts to support him i have had to say I cannott have anymore contact with him for now, he has said the most awful things to me and about me I know they are not rational but i can't deal witht them anymore. I feel so terribly sad and guilty, eldest ds is angry and upset and youngest ds is just confused I think . Anyway it's all a bit grim - don't know if I'm dealing with it very well, just wanted to get it off my chest, cheers - luv witsend.

Thats great news hev - I really don't think you need to worry bout LEA and I'm guessing they will probs let you know before August too! Luv Witsend.

Hi - exactly what he said and just wanted to add when we were sorting out schools for ds recently we were told children aren't 'allowed' to travel more than one and a quarter hours to school (ds journey takes an hour each way) but maybe since your son is already travelling longer than that it's a variable rule depending on area? I know what you mean that whilst the school themselves are meeting his needs part of his attendance at that school is the transport and that is obvioulsy not meeting his needs. It is a difficult one, have you spoken to the LEA about it yet? What is there take on it? Do you have a res school already in mind that might fit the bill (I'm presuming the school he attends now do not have res facilities?), it's not helpful or right that the school are telling you he doesn't have a chance in getting a res placement, that's not up to them so don't let them put you off what you think to be right. Also just wondering if as he's been ok there for a while has something happened maybe on the minibus that he's not telling you about, maybe to do with other kids or something? (Sorry I'm sure you've prob already considered that). You really have my sympathy school probs alongside 'freindships' have prob been the biggest source of worry and stress for us within the whole AS thing. Luv Witsend.

Thanks Ultramum - luv Witsend.

Hi - ds DLA getting due for poss renewal soon I think, was just wondering if I'm right in thinking you cannot get the care element if you dont qualify for the mobility element?? He still does need more help than most kids with care stuff but I have to say mobility now is not a problem at all so am just trying to work out wether should re apply or not. Cheers - Luv Witsend.

Hi hev, glad things have got off to a good start - keeping everything crossed for you Luv Witsend.