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Found 54 results

  1. My husband has been diagnosed with aspergers relatively recently. He has difficulty with his children as when they won't do what they are told in certain situations he gets very angry and occasionally aggresive. For example yesterday he was in a difficult social situation all day so he was stressed when my 13 year old step daughter started playing up. He got extremely angry with her, far more than was needed, she was being very argumentative but I think his reaction was over the top. This has happened with his 10 year old son to the point that he didn't see him for a while, and he has lost his temper with our 2 and 3 year old sons too. I have been told by the person that did my husbands pre assessment and my health visitor that our 3 year old already shows signs of aspergers; the other children have a few of the traits too such as sensitivity to touch, dylexia and getting very involved so you can't get their attention, which makes things even more difficult. I have quite a short fuse too but I can easily snap out of it to deal with another child, and if I do go over the top in my eyes I will immediately apologise and hug the child and explain why. However, because he finds physical contact with his children difficult (but not with me), and he can't just move on from things as quickly it means that they can feel scared of him, and are not always reassured that he still loves them after an incident occurs. I am looking for some advice on how to help with his. He has done some couselling which has helped a lot, but I'm worried about how he will deal with the younger boys as they grow up, especially if they have traits too and so are unlikely to easily back down, or want to do what they are told in all situations. Thanks
  2. Hi, I've recently joined this forum so would like to introduce myself. My name is Charlie, I'm 56 yrs old. (but don't act my age). I have just been diagnosed with Asperger's. It went virtually unnoticed until now as I've always been quite eccentric. I don't work full time now as I have Fibromyalgia. I am an artist (or try to be). I've had a few exhibitions and been employed as a resident artist in a private school. I'm presently making some new art and building a body of work so I can exhibit again soon. I Live in Cornwall uk and would like to meet others nearby so we could meet up sometimes. I'm also interested in meeting any other artists on here. actually, I'd like to meet absolutely anyone who wants to chat. best wishes to all. And...BOOOM <'>
  3. Sent email to social worker Please can you be clear about what the local authority is providing for my son. The support worker, who works with parents, is unable to provide support to my son as my sons needs are neurodevelopmental, not parental. The Paediatrician specified this last September. The issue is not parenting. My son due to his disability and medical needs could not go to school. How is this to be addressed? Dimensions whom CAMHS identified last November as been able to help my sons neurodevelopmental needs has been ?dismissed, ?ignored by Social Services as been unsuitable to provide a service. I am paying for Dimensions with my sons DLA 3 hours a week. If I used all my sons DLA that would only cover 6 hours a week. As the Headteacher pointed out to me from xxxx School they would use the services of Dimensions as a block of 6 hours a day for 8 weeks. As I told him my son needs a full integration plan involving all services as specified by all the professionals involved with my son. By this I mean the multi disciplinary team. What is the point of a section 17 meeting where Social Services make decisions based on finance not the child's needs? As a school has yet to be named by Children's Services what provision is being made for my son now by social services to enable my son? Are you saying Social Services would employ the services of Dimensions to assist xxxx in accessing an education? Reply I am worried that you seem to feel a purely medical response is what will help xxxx. He may well have a diagnosis, and this may well be valuable in helping understand the way he is feeling, but he is at least partly in the situation he is now in as a result of the way you and H have responded to him. This is the only area where social workers have skills and knowledge that might help you and xxxx. I am trying to find the best way we can help, but I feel this is going to be very hard if we can't agree that you and H are the people most likely to be able to make a difference for xxxx. xxxxs' situation is not unique. I have come across two boys of his age recently who refuse to go to school and stay in their rooms using computers, and who have let their friendships go. Both these boys have had a difficult time at school, and both have been allowed to miss school by their parents for such a long time that they have found it hard to return. I think xxxx must be terribly worried about you and H after your recent health problems and I am sure this anxiety is a significant contributory factor in his present state of mind. I'd like to know what his paediatrician would say about this. When you agree a school place for xxxx I'd like to help you plan how to get him there. I think this would be best done with the school and following advice from an organisation that specialises in working with people with autism. We could involve support worker, or we could ask the Dimensions worker to do it as he/she has specialist training. Let's not exchange emails about this any more. We can talk when I visit, Feeling very angry and frustrated. My son has had no support or education for 20 months and its my fault. What do you reply to this?
  4. Hi - just felt like sharing my despair and looking for moral support and radical suggestions. My son is nearly 17, should be starting sixth form this term, but has not attended school since the first term of Year 9 (when he was just 14). He was due to start this morning doing catch up English and Maths at a local college, but would not go. My disappointment if fresh and raw! He is diagnosed with Asperger's, anxiety and depression and experts believe he had a kind of breakdown at school (mainstream) and could no longer cope. Since then we have had three attempts to start new academic years - all failed. I managed to get him a statement a couple of years ago. We have had a string of Education Other Than At School tutors, some of which have been great for him, but none of which have managed to transition him back to school nor get him to do any work. He is in effect uneducated, has not qualifications and is totally socially isolated. He leaves the house very rarely and has no friends. He does see peers occasionally when it is arranged and scaffolded by me with the help of my friends, but as he/peers gets older, this is becoming harder and harder to arrange. To make matters more complicated, he won't accept his diagnosis, so does not accept specialist help and won't go into a special unit. He has always refused to go to CAMHS. He spends his whole time on his PC playing games and watching You Tube videos. I used to limit this strictly, especially during school hours, but he is a big boy now and it is harder. Three years of this has worn me down to be honest. Today was the start of a new era for us. His tutors, Ed Psych and everyone else involved have spent the last few months preparing him to start college. He has been offered a lot of help and support to get there. I cannot complain that we have not been helped. However, now that he has refused to go today, I feel really desolate. I don't think I can stand this again. Do I give up on the idea now? What will he do? If I go back to work (I had to give up my job while all this was going on) I will be leaving a young man alone at home doing nothing constructive. And what will become of him/us in the long term? Should I move to Shetland (a small community that he has to be part of)? Get him sectioned? Abandon him for a while, leaving him with money on the kitchen table, in the hope of forcing him out into the world (he currently relies on me for everything)? All these awful thoughts go round my head and I really don't know what to do for the best. I feel sorry for him because he is genuinely frightened and anxious, but I am also so angry with him for not trying and not seeing that he has to do something. I guarantee that all the sensible, logical steps and approaches that you will all suggest, I have tried. I need radical suggestions.
  5. Hi, For the last few months I have been looking for part-time work to fit around an upcoming Uni course. I have taken the decision to tell any prospective employers that I have Asperger's Syndrome, because at my last job I didn't (because I hadn't been diagnosed then) and, long story short, I had to quit because of the stain the job put on me. I worked at a petrol filling station and, to be fair, the boss wasn't very good - but what also stressed me out was dealing with customers that I found difficult to read and understand as they often did silly, illogical things that often confused me. Right, that's enough context - what I am wondering is does anyone have an experience where they feel that they have been turned down for a job because of an ASD? I'm quite sure that my last boss wouldn't have employed me had she known I was autistic, as I think she wasn't intelligent enough to realise that it doesn't mean that you're a loony. I know that since the Equalities Act (2010) stipulated Asperger's Syndrome as an official disability that it is illegal for an employer to discriminate against someone with an ASD. However it can be covered up with excuses like "you're just not quite the candidate we're looking for" or what I seem to get: "the vacancy's been filled". It's hard enough that I struggle with Asperger's without bigoted middle managers scuppering my employment chances. Any shared experiences gratefully accepted. -Skaro7
  6. I don't know if this is gonna sound silly or if anyone else has to deal with this, but basically I am really struggling, I am 28 years old and have three kids and the problem is I am in this routine of constantly going to my mums house when I should be at home cleaning and just generally getting on doing things grown ups do but the truth is I would rather be reading or on the computer at my mums. I have to come to realise that my mum and my parents house is a security blanket that I keep going back to and its an incredibly unhealthy habit and is definitely driving my husband mental. I just feel like I really struggle with all the demands of being an adult, like when my husband talks to me about work sometimes I just sit there waiting for an oppurtunity to walk awake cause it is stressing me out. I am also really bad at eating a healthy diet and exercising, I try to be good and it lasts for a week at most then I am back to my old faithful routine. There is other stuff as well, I am not formally diagnosed, hoping to look into this soon but after finding out my daughter is probably on the spectrum and doing a lot of research I am almost 99% sure I have aspergers. Any advice would be gratefully received. xx
  7. I've been officially diagnosed with Aspergers for 5 years, although obviously I've been living with it my whole life (I was just 'weird' before diagnosis). My brother also has Aspergers although he was diagnosed at an early age. I think I was missed as I was generally performing well academically, whereas my brother had clear problems. Anyway, I will get to the point. Emotions. Now from what I've read, a lack of apparent empathy is normal, and so is the inability to outwardly express some emotions. But what if those emotions appear to be missing completely? The last time I remember feeling joy was age 11 on Christmas day. And I'm not even sure whether that's just an exaggerated memory. I do not get excited about anything. I do not feel 'fun'. I do not feel anything for the tragedies that others have. Off the top of my head, this is a quick list of events that I have shown - and felt - no emotion about. My wedding. The birth of my children. My wife having miscarriages. My grandparents dying. My baby son being in hospital for a week after being close to death from a bad infection. (I went to work as normal whilst my wife was at the hospital). Any great news another person has Any tragedy another person tells me about Leaving my wife Seeing my kids (I see them every 2 weeks. I don't look forward to it. I don't dread it either. Just indifferent. I don't miss them when I'm gone again) Borrowing £800 from a very generous friend, and then cutting him off - I haven't paid him a penny back since. And I feel no shame, or guilt. Now reading this back to myself - I sound like a cold one, possibly even depressed. But I don't feel depressed, there's just a void there. I am aware how I should be acting and I want people to think I'm good so I fake things the best I can. I try and do 'nice' things as much as I can so people think I'm a good person. It seems to be important to me that people think I'm a good person. And now I am simply asking myself - is this really aspergers, or has it evolved into something worse?. Have I developed something worse?. Because from what I can see on other forums, and blogs, those fellow aspies out there experience joy and excitement, and feelings. Its just the expressing of them they have trouble with. Other traits are similar, I lack empathy - if someone is crying I quickly aim to have them bury their head on my shoulder or chest whilst they cry - so they can't see my face devoid of emotion. I find social events bemusing. A group of colleagues could be laughing, shouting, joking, and I just sit there and think 'why are you behaving like this? it's not even funny.'. The background noise becomes unbearable eventually too - can't filter out other noises. Mating rituals bemuse me too. And dancing? what the hell is that! I spend most nights alone though choice. Its the only time I get some mental peace. Can't do smalltalk either - which is fine as from what I've managed to figure out, it consists of people stating the obvious. 'Its raining again I see'. 'Yes I know, I can see too'. What I do feel... self pity. I can do that just fine. If its aimed inwardly, I can feel the despair. I just can't find it for anybody else. I can chuckle at something I say. I don't laugh at anybody elses jokes. And I'm sure I never used to be this bad. Not when I was in my 20's. It seems to be a deterioration of emotional capability - and no I'm not a drug user. And I guess I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. Who am I?. What am I? I'm not even sure what kind of answer I expect or want.
  8. Hi there. I am hoping someone can help with a query about my daughter. Sorry this is so long, but wanted to give a full picture. Instigated by the school at age 6 we went for an ADHD assessment. They said she didn’t have it and recommended an ASC assessment - we never received an appointment. Aged 10 her Year 6 primary teacher said she thought she had "inattentive ADHD" and recommended we went for assessment. After seeing a paediatrician, information from the school and a Connors questionnaire we were referred to CAMHS. CAMHS do a consultation clinic where they first see if you are right for assessment. Our first appointment was four months following the referral in the consultation clinic. Three appointments later the CAMHS practitioner referred us for an assessment. That was in April and the actual assessment was 6 months later in October 2012. Followed by some psychometric tests. I have only just been given the feedback, another five months later. The report they sent me even had the wrong name in four sections! The psychometric tests were not included in the report, that was separate, and they had made their decision based on the assessment day in October. They say that she does not warrant a diagnosis. That’s it, goodbye. No plan of action, no further help, nothing. The assessment only had a clinical psychologist and speech and language therapist in the room with my child. We were in a separate room with another psychologist answering the questions they ask. They did not carry out a school observation or contact high school for information. No OT or specific SLT report was carried out. They said she does not have a diagnosis as she did well in the individual assessment. Although the primary school report had backed up everything I said, and said even more, they said that is discounted as she was okay on the individual assessment. I did point out that obviously with 1:1 attention in a calm, quiet room she would do better, but life isn't lived like that! From everything I have read I think she has aspergers. She fits the profile. I have also read that the diagnostic criteria they use is often too much based on a boys profile, which is different from a girls. They used ICD10 for this assessment. I have another child who is attaining his school levels, has friends, doesn’t display the same behaviours etc, so I would say it wasn’t my parenting skills that were the issue. Does this sound correct to you in your experience of getting assessed? Many thanks for any thoughts/ideas on this, or your experiences/opinion. I am thinking that I should ask for reassessment? Do any of you think she does sound to have problems in the ASC category or am I totally thinking incorrectly? My daughter presents with the following problems (these are just some of them): * Special interest in dogs and everything dog related. Constantly asks for me to buy a dog - but will not touch, stroke, even hold the lead for a real dog. * Special interest in health and safety - creates posters and talks for the family. Asked for a meeting to go over a fire escape plan she had created. * Had friends in primary school, mostly from the year below. Entered high school and has made no friends. Sits alone at lunch and breaks. Previous friends no longer seem interested in visiting. * Problems with self care (only just started brushing her own hair, can't put in a bobble), has to be forced to wash and brush teeth. * Constipation problems - doesn’t seem to have time or forgets to go to toilet, or take medication unless I prompt her * Forgets homework, forgets what she is telling you sometimes half way through a conversation * Attended activity for three years once a week and didn’t know the name of any children there * No eye contact with anyone, even parents, or even on computer on Skype to grandparents will look down * Attention problems - described by teacher as in a world of her own * Still wants to play with babyish toys and to run and skip around * Learning difficulties - despite average IQ has been found to be working four years behind peers in reading and spelling. Also behind in maths. Only topic that excels in is ICT. * Never bothers calling for friends. Likes it if people call for her but won't think to make first contact, or will ask if she can and then forget. * Immature * Fear of being "a teenager" since she was about 9. Still scared to grow up. * Believes in the tooth fairy, even though I told her it wasn’t real (on entering high school). Believes in Santa and the Easter bunny. * Will fix a funny smile on her face sometimes. Rarely will say anything is wrong with her. * Doesn’t understand sarcasm. Quite often has to have saying explained to her. * No interest in fashion, make up, hair. Will throw on any clothes, ones that don’t match, hair unbrushed, teeth unbrushed and want to go out. * Eats with fingers. Will shell each garden pea on plate and split in two before eating. Makes food into parcels. Primary school reported that: *Over imaginative and 'in her own little world', quite frequently talking to herself and making other strange noises. * In assemblies noted some bizarre behaviours for a child of her age * Inattentiveness is the biggest problem, followed by an immaturity not matched by her peers * Likes to share drawings at inappropriate times * Very excitable about things she has done but cannot talk about things learned in lessons * Fiddling in class, not listening or looking up * Gets excitable and jumps up and down waving arms which is noticeable * Starts a conversation and then peters off becoming inaudible unless prompted * Playground friends are few, quite frequently on her own playing out a situation * Cuts in on conversations and talks aloud in class/assembly * Throwing and catching a ball uncoordinated * Writing gets larger with less conversation * Imaginative play interferes with listening and learning * Very worried at a change in routine, e.g. new class * Struggles even on 1:1 basis * Often out of seat and moving around classroom * Always has hold of a comfort object * Tendency to become "fixated" on certain objects resulting in her seeming in a "dream world" * Stroking hair, staring at objects because "they're so beautiful" and stroking a feather for extended periods of time
  9. I have Asperger's Syndrome and I find it really hard to keep contact with a lot of the relationships that I form. However, this one girl (who I am madly in love with) says she loves me and that she wants to have a future with me but sometimes gets these random feelings of what she calls 'emptiness' and I can't help but want to help her. She takes Dialectical Behavioral Therapy but I love her so much and will do anything for her. Unfortunately, this relationship is long distance and I can't be there for her all the time YET; but am moving to University very near her and will see her every week! Can anyone offer me some advice? Thank you!
  10. Hey guys, this is my first post. I just kinda want to know that I'm not alone. Okay, that sounds really needy. I am a nearly sixteen year old Aspie girl. Well, until about six months ago, I thought I was totally crazy. I felt totally alone. I could not interact with people. I had a very specialist subject (Poultry - I absolutely adore chickens) which was the only thing I felt comfortable talking about. I was being bullied at school and was very frightened. The description of asbergers as "Lost Planet Syndrome" is totally right. I felt very alone in the world and I just didn't understand other people. It was by chance that I came across an article describing a family of Aspies. And instantly something clicked. I was not crazy or weird. I was an Aspie. I think that my Asbergers has been pretty obvious and yet not obvious throughout my life. From the age of about four I knew that I was different. So I copied others, but I still, to this day, cannot "speak" fluent NT. I struggle to talk to others, I show little empathy, I like being by myself and I am obsessive. I've been bullied a lot because of this. I've done IQ tests and I am well over 140, into the genius range. I do well enough at school that I find most classes easy. So why can't I understand people? I also have bad anxiety, and it has gotten to the point where I struggle to even go out of the house and I am unhappy a lot of the time. My five hens really keep me going. To make it worse, I met a boy months ago who I thought I might finally be able to relate to, but he lives thousands of miles away and has a girlfriend. I still love him and he has no idea.I speak to him a lot and It's killing me, because I am so obsessive and I really, really like him. Although my parents try to be supportive, it's difficult for them to understand, and they have said before that they think that my Asbergers and Anxiety is an act to get attention. My favourite analogy of Aspergers that I've read is that social rules and life in general are like a jigsaw. NT's are born with the picture on the box, but we aren't. We have to build the jigsaw in clumps. It's harder for us, but we can do it. Many people say that Aspergers is a gift. Unless you count being able to read at several thousand wpm as a gift, I don't feel I have any gifts at the moment. Any other Aspies out there?
  11. I used to be really bad at this unless a relative introduced me and the other person took most of the initiative. But as I've got older I find it easier having picked up 'tricks' along the way and would place myself at 6.5 maybe 7 initially. But I still have difficulty especially when it comes to developing the relationship to something more meaningful. Most other people I know off line find this next step much easier and will end up talking about things at a rate that I can't reciprocate meaningfully at and end up losing interest and doing something else. I can develop friendships beyond this particularly if I know the person through a club and I've known them for a long time but critically I wouldn't say they become closer necessarily - just that I know them better. Others develop friends but I tend to develop 'acquaintences' apparently with an inability to advance the relationship like others who club together and maybe go for a drink or go for lunch. Does anyone else have difficulty advancing intimacy in a relationship? It has taken me a lot of self-reflection to realise that I do have problems in this area and they are still ongoing even when I employ tricks I've learned along the way. To this day I worry I will never find love because I don't think I can reciprocate at that kind of level. Where others go out and cheer one another up over a good pint I very rarely do this as I find it hard to move to that level of socialisation which also means I'm not meeting my needs for social bonding and intimacy and am finding this is having a negative effect in other areas of my life where it is stifling my development somewhat. So I'm just wondering if anyone else has problems like this?
  12. I went to see my GP this morning and I've just got off the phone with Manchster NAS. My partner went with me to help me as I find it hard to takes notes there or remember things afterwards. I've been signed off for 2 weeks initially and he recommends I take at least a month off (my boss is going to LOVE that!) He wouldn't put me on anti-depressants. He didn't think that was right for me. On one hand I'm disappointed. I was relying on them to cushion me when I do speak to my manager. On the other hand, no dry mouth and bad taste, and it means I can still have a glass of wine at the weekend and I'm safe to ride pillion. NAS are going to send me some stuff by email and though the post. There are two places "locally" that can assess me for Aspergers under the NHS, Trafford and Sheffield, but either I or my GP will have to do some digging to find out who in Manchester authorises the funding for that. I already have a contact at PALS so he might be able to help. About my work situation, NAS and my GP have both said that it's time to go over my manager's head to HR. My partner is helping me write it all down. My manager is still insisting I speak to her because it's "company policy and procedure" and the idea panics me... I'm going to stop thinking about it for now and put it on the back burner. The exciting news I got from NAS is that Rudy Simone, the author of "Aspergirls" (and others of course, but I'm reading that one) is coming to Manchester next month. It's at: King’s House Conference Centre King’s Church Sidney Street Manchester M1 7HB United Kingdom Date and time: 7 March 2013 Doors open and Registration from 6pm (18:00) Starts at 6:45pm (18:45) Price per ticket: Standard Delegate Rate £ 21.60 NAS Members / Low income £ 16.80 To book telephone: Janet Matthews 0115 911 3367 More details here http://www.autism.or...nces/rudysimone
  13. Just posting this thread to see what your experiences are with job hunting in these difficult times where many are being made redundant and having to re-find their feet in a highly competitive market with far fewer jobs than there are people going for them. In my view job hunting has always been tough but with recession biting more and more the situation is even more unbelievably troublesome and having aspergers can make it harder still. In a world where money makes everything go round but where one must scale hugely troublesome barriers to get in anywhere worth hanging on to (or where there is something to hang on to for long enough) and where daily commodities have shot up in price in spite of frozen salaries and quantitative-easing we are all in desperate need of hope and inspiration. So come on in out of the cold, put your feet up, make a brew and lets talk job hunting and job interviews. Let's hear your experiences and stories - tell us about how you've overcome your barriers and lets hear about the difficulties you're having and hopefully through doing so we will all fare better and be stronger at getting the jobs we really want.
  14. Hiya I've finally finished my book of short stories and poetry. It really has been a long time coming, but I felt now was the right time. I wrote all of it's content a few years ago whilst I was a teenager going through a really rough time with school/friends etc. as well as trying to get diagnosed and to top it off whilst going through/recovering from a nervous breakdown. I've decided to release it because I feel it would help other people to read it and know that they're not alone and that no matter how bad it is, it can turn out okay in the end - like it has done for me, although, believe me, I wouldn't have thought I could ever be okay! I'm really hopeful that this can help other people - I feel like reading something similar would have helped me to feel less alone in the world. Just so you know, I have Aspergers, Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia, Attention Deficit Disorder and Scotopic Sensitivity. Here is a video I just did to go with the release of the book: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21SE5sGyLdE And here is where you can buy the book from: http://www.blurb.co.uk/bookstore/detail/3783673 Thanks so much for reading - and for your support on this forum whilst I was going through a hard time in school. Please share with anyone who you think this book might help - thank you *hugs* WillowHope
  15. Hi everyone, I'm 33 and in the last year have begun to realise I may have Asperger's Syndrome. I've started to investigate and am recognising more and more of myself with each new thing I read. I even did that "Aspie Quiz" online and got an Aspie score of 167/200. I told my doc that I thought I had AS a couple of months ago. He said I was depressed and put me on a waiting list for counselling. He also said it was extremely doubtful that I have AS as i have been able to hold down a job and have made friends. He thinks that even if I do have traits they are so mild i shouldn't care. But I do care. I'm anxious, exhausted and lonely and if I don't find effective ways to deal with this I'm going to continue having breakdowns. None of the counselling I've had in the past has worked as it has been very short term and isn't really focused on the right thing. Now I'm wondering if it's worth pushing for an official diagnosis. A quick search on this forum has revealed some horror stories and given that NHS services are being cut left, right and centre, I know it would be hard work. Ultimately, it's my choice as to whether to push for a diagnostic assessment, but I'm interested in how having/not having one has impacted on others out there. So I was wondering... ...Are there resources I can access without an official diagnosis? And a question for anyone that has an official diagnosis - how much of a difference did it make to your life? Did it help you access support? Provide greater understanding for you and those you shared it with? Or have you found that nothing's changed? Thanks for your help!
  16. Hi Moving from Australia for 10 yo education support. Have letter of offer from ASP school in Sth England. Have another son so looking for areas with good schools, communities etc. Would love to know of mainstream or independent schools which can support kids with multiple ASDs. Not committed to any one area as ASP school is boarding. Have a solicitor for tribunal process which seems very scary. Any advice would be great. Thanks
  17. Hello everyone! I'm Wordsmith - or Lydia in real life. I was diagnosed with Asperger's about 27 days ago, and I'm really glad to know what's wrong. I have almost all the symptoms, and right now my dad and his friend are talking so loudly in the garden that my hypersensitivity is causing me to want to kill someone (not quite) Anyway, I hope I can make some new friends! Wordsmith xxx
  18. I love the word lawyer (I have a crush on a lawyer man in my head), the word solicitor... I especially adore matrimonial law, but any will do! So... ARE THERE ANY LAWYERS OR SOLICITORS OR LAW STUDENTS READING THIS? ) If so, please talk about your job, anything about it - whether you dress up in any special clothes in court - anything! Thank you! Wordsmith xxx
  19. Hi! I've recently been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I feel relieved, slightly confused but more than anything. I've always had elements of the eccentric inventor about me; I'm a writer and if I could, I'd write 24/7. As that obviously is not an option my life has gone haywire. I literally stay up all night - sometimes all day too - so I'm severely sleep deprived. I spend so much time getting ready (I'll explain more about that in a second) that there's no hours left in the day to write at all, so technically I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face. My mum is my amazing best (and only) friend and carer; she stays up with me, patiently being there - despite her having Myalgic Encepholomyelitis (ME). What a phenomenal woman; on the verge of collapse at times - yet so unshakably strong. I treat her as if I hate her. I shout, argue and act like a know-it-all and I hate myself for it. I have an empathy deficiency issue too. The crux of the problem is my daily routine. I spend an almost unlimited amount of time getting ready either for bed or in the mornings...or afternoons, and sometimes I'm not even ready to go to the shops which close at 8:00 pm! Who knows why I do this. I'm not sure if there really is an answer. But I just know that I get sidetracked from what I need to do, and I find it really hard not to. I am so slow at doing everything, and I am very 'routines and rituals' orientated. I love to wear headphones and listen to music when I'm getting ready, but the moment I slip them on, I start dreaming (I have this 'other life' in my head). I can dream without the headphones too, so having my mum hide them is only a little help (at night this isn't even an option: I have hypersensitivity ams my dad's snoring makes me want to explode). Partly I feel motor skill issues contribute to this - I find putting my boots on and washing my face really tricky, and brushing my teeth is so awkward - so I spend as long as possible procrastinating in any way I can. Also, lack of motivation is an issue. I just lie on the floor sometimes and laze about - even though my mind is begging me to get ready. Often I have really hyper, whispered conversations with imaginary friends, and it's all getting me down. I see the dawn most mornings, and I usually finish getting ready only when night casts its sulky shadow. Could anyone shed some light on this? Please? Thank you so much for reading all this...it means so much. Wordsmith xxx
  20. Hello all, I am putting together an comprehensive, add free, website on all matters SEN. I have worked in the field for around 8 years; teaching, support and staff development. I would be interested to read any feedback you may have on the following topics: Autism: Asperger's Behavioural, Emotional and Social Difficulties (BESD) Any feedback gratefully received, Regards, Ben
  21. http://www.justgiving.com/Sarah-Stokes2 I would appreciate any donations/sponsors for my first 5k run for Autism/Aspergers. Many thanks
  22. The (name etc) autism society organisations, charities, don't offer support for people with Aspergers apart from useless pamphlets, not actual help. Those organisations are scams, and only want to help autistics who are handicapped, not higher-functioning. (AND want more money than you could possibly supply.) Go to a learning disability charity or organisation when you have Aspergers, and they will turn you away, you have a mental health condition, go away, nothing to do with us. Go to a mental health charity or organisation and they will say, go away, you're mentally handicapped not mentally ill, go away, you don't have a mental illness. Try MenCap, no, you're mentally ill, not learning disabled, go away, nothing to do with us. Try a local support 'gateway club', get turned away, Aspergers, bad, nothing to do with us, you have a degree anyway so there's nothing actually wrong with you. Get help from social services, no help after 7 years trying. Write to MP, get told, you obviously don't have any health problems because social services won't help you. Talk to other organisations, and possible employers, mention Aspergers, you might as well have said that you are a paedo or drug addict, immediate bad reaction. Black listed. I have Aspergers, I am not a parent looking through rose coloured glasses, society doesn't want you if you have Aspergers, and there's no organisation to help, FACT.
  23. We're all accustomed to them now and most of us have accepted them almost like modus operandi of modern times but do any of you experience irrational levels of stress and anxiety with security guards and cameras in shops? I remember when I was much younger having many such irrationalities when masses of cameras first started springing up everywhere but with education in security I learned a lot to dispel many of the myths I'd imagined and was able to quell some of the anxieties I felt back then. However with education there is always the danger of knowing too much and that can backfire and make one even more self-conscious to the point of pure paranoia. Even now I get uncomfortable sensations when I'm looking up and round at the signs over the shopping isles of shops I don't know so that I can easily navigate to the correct section of the shop but then accidentally ending up locking sight with security cameras (which seem only to beg to be stared at with their huge bug-eyed appearances) and then feeling as if I'm being followed by every camera and security guard until I've finished my purchases or walked out empty handed (which in a way is even worse as every security guard is suspicious of people leaving huge supermarkets without having made a single purchase). I had one such experience yesterday when I was in a DVD store and I suddenly got this surge of anxiety because I'd taken my coat off before entering the store due to being way too sweaty and I'd wrapped it up and held it in an ever-unravelling ball in my arm which I had to keep re-wrapping. I became self-conscious that it was bad to have my coat wrapped in my arm this way (bearing in mind thieves use these ploys to conceal things) but could do nothing practical about it. Well that was it wasn't it - as soon as I'd thought that, I could do nothing to forget it and the anxiety intensified. I decided I didn't want to buy anything as nothing took my fancy and that only made things worse. I slowly began to gravitate towards the exit and I floated near the security fences on a kind of high-alert that they were following me - I exited the store and just froze in cold petrification for several moments in the precinct where again there were more cameras and just very nervously began to walk away from the store. You see from the point of view of the Security agents I would probably have seemed highly suspect and that thought was circulating round my mind at the time which only made it worse and I could see no way to stifle those feelings to help me relax. And I needed to escape that situation (that discomfort) but again any hasty exit would make me look even more suspect. Of course I understand the common reason for having security in shops and elsewhere for our protection but it does a lot to undermine our confidence too. There's nothing worse than feeling you're being following/stalked/watched which only intensifies anxious-behaviour which makes them even more likely to follow. And all of this has made me wonder if any one else here has experiences like this. What are your experiences with security?
  24. Hi, Please see the following link if you've never heard of Klinefelter's Syndrome but would like to know more about it: http://www.ksa-uk.net/ Thanks
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