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  1. Hello everyone, Any advice on what to do next or where k should go would be gratefully recieved. K has refused school and been off for the first week of the start of the school year. His statement was finallsed on the last day/week of school before the summer hols, (no surprise there). Ks bowels/overflow have made him so anxious now, that he is refusing to go back to school. He is saying he cannot keep faking headaches to get out of class/school everytime he is unsure of his bowels and how messy he is getting. Last term he thought another boy could smell him as the boy was saying out loud that 'something smells in here'. Its playing on ks mind and also (not sure how much of this is true ) that the teachers try and help him but he cannot do what they ask and so he gets what they call 'put down a colour' for bad behaviour, yep ,bad behaviour. I asked him what does he do when he cannot do the work and he says i sit, do what i can and then they just leave me so i do nothing for the rest of the lesson. This approach apparently happens in RE, Grammar and literacy, these are the main areas that k has difficulty in. Since he has not gone back i have been phoning the PP. (parent partnership) and i managed to get hold of the same person (spoke to them last year) and she said 'do you want him to go back ?'. I know what i felt when she said it, relief that someone else suggested what i was actually feeling. I do want him to go back to school just not one in mainstream. Our problem is that he has a new statement and it looks like we have not tried to get him back, when we have, K has never even met his new school teacher and this was supposed to be set up before leaving for the summer hols. It also looks bad that it appears we have not given the new statement a chance to work. Fine, let them come round our house and try and get him dressed and drag him to school. The new statement has ten hours of little support (lunchtime supervisor who has no exeperience in high functioning autism) and its not one to one support. I have had no access to his books from last year on parents evenings or even the open evening. On his last report (i eventually got it) it says he has to make sense of what he is writing. This school clearly does not want him there so why should we persist. Honestly i have no fight left so when the PP person said 'not going back' i felt her suggestion was almost relief but where to now ?. K has to be assessed at a special school and he has visited this place before, he knows there are other children like him there and he wants to go but will the LEA pay ?, (i won't hold my breath). Our son cannot write his surname independently without asking how we spell it. Its a short name that consists of six letters so it should not be hard for him to write or pronounce and our son is nearly 10 years old yet the school still say he has made good progress. He still struggles with his own written language and gives up and unless someone is sitting next to him proding him to go on. Verbally he is good in other areas, in written tasks and time limits on work getting done he cannot keep up with other children and gets punished. We have major problems in getting him to clean himself at home, and getting in the habit of going to the toilet to clean himself so that he does not get sore, we also have problems in getting him to drink and leaving a drink for him on the table does not work, i have to stand there and make him drink it or it gets left. We have a meeting with the PP and then to inform the EWO and the LEA, but inform them and then what ?. We do not want to get into trouble obviously but we do not want k to suffer either. Has anyone been in this position and what advice can you give us to help k. It would be much appreciated and how we need to change this statement. I spoke to IPSEA volunteer two days ago and he suggested contact the EWO and LEA and the school governors, (they have not appointed one yet so acting governor. I can put in a complaint and go down the discrimination route. (they have boxes that k would have to climb over to get to the sink to wash his hands after going to the toilet. The private toilet is in a storage room. (disused art room) . The school in previous months did not even check to see if he has used the sink or used up his continence pads. Any ideas anyone, just for the record as i understand it the law states that a child must be edcuated not necessarly at school. We are not refusing him to be educated at all, its just the school cannot meet his needs and they are not complying with the current recommendations that have been mentioned before they were put on his statement, so we have little reason to believe this will change, given ks last report and the SENCO blaming k for his 'attitude' even though the SENCO knew it was likely k would have a statement and their failiure to put things in place for a smooth return to school after summer. We have audio evidence from k (he did not know we were recording) about what they do at school and the workload so hopefully that will come in handy at tribunal. yours gratefully (and also anxiously now) sarni
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