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  1. As an adult, I used to make my friends at work. The last decade of economic instability in my area has made this difficult, and I'm now trying to make friends without having "The Office" be my social petri dish. It's not working all that well. A recent article by The Atlantic (links to cover story, "How Friendships Change in Adulthood") observed that friend-making is essential to emotional health, and yet friends are the relationship most likely to be dropped in adult life: the obligations for the "priority relationships" of job, spouse, children, and parents come first, and the threefold criteria for friends: “Somebody to talk to, someone to depend on, and someone to enjoy." I write. A lot. I need somebody to talk to, because they'll read me, as I will them; someone to depend on, providing some degree of consistency and expecting that back from me; and someone to enjoy--sparring thoughts and agreeable silences in appropriate degrees." I have a friend: I overwhelm him, because I write so much. I have a friend: she does better on the phone, and so we talk. I am a letter-writer, and I have struggled to define what should be written in paper, with my beloved fountain pen, and what calls for the speed of e-mail, and what needs to be spoken. I'm finding that I often need all three to maintain the level of proximity that friendship requires: the thoughtfulness and permanence of paper as a way to set an anchor, the fleeting speed of email as connective tissue and immediacy, and the emotional communication of voice. How are the rest of you making friends in adulthood?
  2. Hiya everyone, im starting a support group in Croydon for couples affected by aspergers and also partners of aspergers diagnosed individuals. I was just wondering if anyone here would be interested. We would meet up every to weeks and go for a drink, bowling, meals etc and also a weekly support meetup solely for talking about our difficulties and supporting one another and helping us understand our partners better. If you are interested please reply to this discussion and we will take it frome there. P. S The group will be based in the South East London area in different locations for the days out and in a set location for the weekly support group. Thanks
  3. Hi, my daughter was diagnosed with AS several years ago. She is SO like me and reading up on the autism spectrum helped me make a lot of sense of the difficulties I have had in my life. I spoke to my GP who told me that if it helped me to use the label of AS to do so. He did not feel a formal diagnosis was necessary. I am now approaching my 50s and over the years of observing and copying people who coped in different environments, I feel I manage ok. However, I have recently run into a number of problems at work where I have been accused of acting inappropriately. People have misunderstood what I have said and now I feel alienated. My manager has taken me to task and I feel really unhappy and inadequate. I thought everyone at work was 'on the same side' because we are all working to a common goal. Another manager told me 'off the record' not to be so naive. He said that everyone has their own agenda. I don't understand the things that are going on around me and it's made me think that perhaps I am not as good as I thought at communicating and I don't understand 'mind games'. I don't know who I can talk to or who I can trust. I am wondering if I should have declared a disability before I started work, but then with no diagnosis and believing it would not affect my work I didn't say. I am in a position where I am expected to manage staff and I'm not sure I can do this now, but I don't want to lose my job as being incapable.
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