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  1. Recently I've been between various counsellors and doctors regarding issues with managing negative emotions. My diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome form 10 years ago does not appear in any of medical notes (I have changed doctors once in my life, but I know for a fact the current surgery has my paper and electronic notes so this strikes me as odd). The most recent appointment I had with Lets Talk Well Being confirmed a diagnosis of borderline Aspergers syndrome and a further one of long term depression with significant rejection issues. I am currently waiting for CBT and an appointment to have anti-depressants. I know in the long term this is really going to help and get me to a point of being able to live 'normally'. Right now I feel in a limbo with no solution for the immediate issues of isolation and loneliness. Doing anything on my own seems to just leave me unfulfilled. My friends are so far away I can't just go see them. When I do call them all I can't see past what is happening in my life to be able to have a normal, friendly conversation. I don't know what to say to them. I have been through a lot of difficult events in my life over the last year . A very dear friend who lives in Canada lost her mother last April so I was out there trying to support her. My inability to emphasise and frustration with myself made this worse at times. I came after this to have my entire life and routines turned upside down. I live with my grandmother and she spent a month in hospital literally from the moment I got back. I had to take on a lot more responsibility, manage the household completely to myself which I'm not used to. When she came back there were so many people coming and going, not communicating with me about anything that's was happening I felt so out of control in my own home. While this was going on my friend in Canada had a massive change in her life which meant I had far less contact with her. She had been a massive part of my life for years so to have to try and accept how much things were going to change wasn't easy. This was then followed by a 2 months relationship with someone who was emotionally confusing and manipulative. Several friendships I had took serious hits from this and I was just left run down and worn out. by this time I was so exhausted mentally I was struggling to keep check in control of my emotions the one person had been able to maintain a close long term friendship with was struggling to manage the ups and downs and round about I was going through. Anything that could be remotely taken as negative was and amplified and eventually I lost her. With her I lost my social life, my day to day interaction with someone I called a friend The rest of my friends live 80 miles away, they keep telling me I should do this and I should do that to fix things, but the idea of doing anything socially just panics me. They suggest getting new hobbies and trying new things, but I can't find anything that captures my interest, My current personal interests don't distract me like they used to. I've reached a point where I don't know my emotions or what I'm feeling, I don't know how to distract myself or what will settle them. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and if so how did they cope?
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