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Hi, I'm writing about my little boy who is 9 and going through an absolutely dreadful time. Have posted before about our situation, in that we have moved to Kuwait with hub's work and to cut a long story short it's been a nightmare. We haven't managed to find a school for him that doesn't stress him out and we've tried home-schooling which isn't working either. We're now waiting to hear if we can get a transfer to another country. I know that this will bring it's own problems - more changes for him to cope with, however we can't stay here. Hubs can't return to UK due to tax implications until next April, however I may go back with my boys if we can't find good schooling elsewhere. Anyway - that's the background to our situation. Loads of change, rejections from schools here, huge drop in his self confidence, appearance of fixations he's never had before, lethargic and tired. That's the little boy I'm living with now - just dreadful. He is having huge melt-downs - out of control screaming and crying and cowering away as though we will physically harm him (which of course we never ever would). I 100% understand why he is having a terrible time as he has so much change to contend with. I'm hoping for some advice as to how deal with our main issues which are putting a massive strain on our family: 1. Most importantly - any tips on raising his self esteem. We tell him he's amazing and we love him but he's lacking in confidence and says he's 'stupid, mental, bad at maths, writing and english, a horrible son and brother'. Heartbreaking. 2. Meltdowns - even he has asked if I can help him to cope with his anger as it scares him. He is easily angered and becomes so distressed. We try to get him to 'cool down' in his room, however he sees it as a punishment and becomes more hysterical. 3. Fixations - obsessed with playing 'Minecraft' on ipad and laptop (and watching videos from youtube of other people playing!). Understand that it allows him to relax and unwind, however I can't accept that he chooses that over and above anything else. He used to love playing with diggers and now doesn't touch them, nor does he want to swim in the pool (we have sun!). He's allowed 1 hour per day and we use a timer so he understands that time is counting down. This doesn't stop the constant begging for more time, the lack of motivation to do anything else etc. The saddest thing is that most of the above was never apparent in the UK, it's obviously a result from the changes he has gone through. His diagnosis is for mild ASD and Dyspraxia. We've tried to manage the transitions as much as possible but quite frankly feel like we've done a bad job. He's just gone out on a bike ride with his dad this morning (used to adore this) and my husband rang to say he's hysterically crying and refusing to cycle. So frustrating - all we want is to have our happy boy back. Any tips or advice would be appreciated. Apologies for the long post. Emma x

Hi there, I am new to this forum and in desperate need of some help - please! I have a 9 year old little boy with mild Asperger's who I feel I've lost. I'll explain our really messy situation; my husband took a job in Kuwait in August with 'family status' which offered private education for our two boys as well as other benefits. After doing as much research as we could online (the schools were closed as it was Summer holidays) we decided to take this opportunity which would get us back on our feet financially (hubs had been made redundant 4 times in 4 years) and we thought it was going to be a wonderful opportunity for Corbin to have private education. We prepared him as much as we could for our new life. Well, we couldn't have been more wrong......I'll try and keep this brief. Basically after visiting the schools here, I was shocked and horrified - not at all like their websites! They are private, but are overcrowded, ran down and chaotic. There was only 1 British School I felt the boys could go to, which although large it had great facilities,a SENCO and a 'western' feel. Children have to sit entrance exams here, so I was upfront about Corbin's diagnosis. I explained that he had been in main stream school in UK, and did not qualify for a Statement. I provided his reports from his diagnosis etc and that's when things went wrong. They refused him a place and said he was the weakest child in maths they had ever seen (rubbish!) and that it wasn't the school for him. We were devestated. It was clear they had formed an opinion on our son. I then went to another school which I had discounted due to its size (2,500) children and again the noise levels and craziness. The head there was great and offered Corbin a place, however we all knew that really it wasn't the correct environment for him. He lasted 2 weeks, and then the meltdowns began. I couldn't get him into school, he was crying and screaming. He was very distressed and obviously we talked about how he was feeling. He couldn't cope with the organistaional skills needed (moving classrooms for lessons) or the noise or size. The classes are so small that there wasn't an option of paying for learning support to help him cope with the sensory issues and keep his confidence levels up. We appealed to the original school who gave him a 1 week trial (he loved it) and then refused him a place at the end. I was told that they don't need children with 'Special Needs' at their school......myself and my husband were angry, shocked and devestated. We told Corbin there had been a mix up and there were no longer any places. His little face just dropped. Apologies this is so long...wanted to explain the background to the mess we are now in. So, we came to Kuwait 28th September and aside from 2 weeks in one school and a 1 week trial, Corbin has been out of education. We decided our only option was to home-school him, and set out to find a qualified British teacher - to no avail! Therefore I said I would do it (I'm a teacher). Now this is where it gets really tricky..... Due to the fact my little man's entire life has changed overnight and there's no suitable schools,he has changed dramatically. He is angry, disrespectful, lazy and very very sad. It is killing us all seeing him this way. I can't get him motivated to learn as he's definitely built a barrier now. All he says is 'i want to go to school like a normal boy' and 'i refuse to do home-schooling'. He is particularly angry towards me as he says that I've taken him away from the school he loved (not strictly true), his friends, his family, his home. Ontop of all of this our house has sold in the UK. I've talked and talked with him, cuddled him, given him space, made lists of positives, drawn pictures.....but I can't reach him. I think I've lost him due to me and my husband making the wrong decision to come here. My ability to cope has long gone and I'm erratic, I shout, I scream (all of which I know are adding to the problems) and then comes the horrific guilt. Our family lif e is terrible and our 3 year old is picking up on the awful atmosphere. Myself and my husband fall out constantly. Wonderful! So, I was hoping someone out there may have a suggestion of how I can move things forward. Of course we've talked about going back to the UK, however financially we will be almost destitute. I also think that not having his lovely home to go to, and returning to school mid term would be simply more transitions to overload him. I've ran out of energy and ideas......can anyone suggest how they would deal with this? Thanks so much.