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  1. Hi - just felt like sharing my despair and looking for moral support and radical suggestions. My son is nearly 17, should be starting sixth form this term, but has not attended school since the first term of Year 9 (when he was just 14). He was due to start this morning doing catch up English and Maths at a local college, but would not go. My disappointment if fresh and raw! He is diagnosed with Asperger's, anxiety and depression and experts believe he had a kind of breakdown at school (mainstream) and could no longer cope. Since then we have had three attempts to start new academic years - all failed. I managed to get him a statement a couple of years ago. We have had a string of Education Other Than At School tutors, some of which have been great for him, but none of which have managed to transition him back to school nor get him to do any work. He is in effect uneducated, has not qualifications and is totally socially isolated. He leaves the house very rarely and has no friends. He does see peers occasionally when it is arranged and scaffolded by me with the help of my friends, but as he/peers gets older, this is becoming harder and harder to arrange. To make matters more complicated, he won't accept his diagnosis, so does not accept specialist help and won't go into a special unit. He has always refused to go to CAMHS. He spends his whole time on his PC playing games and watching You Tube videos. I used to limit this strictly, especially during school hours, but he is a big boy now and it is harder. Three years of this has worn me down to be honest. Today was the start of a new era for us. His tutors, Ed Psych and everyone else involved have spent the last few months preparing him to start college. He has been offered a lot of help and support to get there. I cannot complain that we have not been helped. However, now that he has refused to go today, I feel really desolate. I don't think I can stand this again. Do I give up on the idea now? What will he do? If I go back to work (I had to give up my job while all this was going on) I will be leaving a young man alone at home doing nothing constructive. And what will become of him/us in the long term? Should I move to Shetland (a small community that he has to be part of)? Get him sectioned? Abandon him for a while, leaving him with money on the kitchen table, in the hope of forcing him out into the world (he currently relies on me for everything)? All these awful thoughts go round my head and I really don't know what to do for the best. I feel sorry for him because he is genuinely frightened and anxious, but I am also so angry with him for not trying and not seeing that he has to do something. I guarantee that all the sensible, logical steps and approaches that you will all suggest, I have tried. I need radical suggestions.
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