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  1. Hi! I've recently been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I feel relieved, slightly confused but more than anything. I've always had elements of the eccentric inventor about me; I'm a writer and if I could, I'd write 24/7. As that obviously is not an option my life has gone haywire. I literally stay up all night - sometimes all day too - so I'm severely sleep deprived. I spend so much time getting ready (I'll explain more about that in a second) that there's no hours left in the day to write at all, so technically I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face. My mum is my amazing best (and only) friend and carer; she stays up with me, patiently being there - despite her having Myalgic Encepholomyelitis (ME). What a phenomenal woman; on the verge of collapse at times - yet so unshakably strong. I treat her as if I hate her. I shout, argue and act like a know-it-all and I hate myself for it. I have an empathy deficiency issue too. The crux of the problem is my daily routine. I spend an almost unlimited amount of time getting ready either for bed or in the mornings...or afternoons, and sometimes I'm not even ready to go to the shops which close at 8:00 pm! Who knows why I do this. I'm not sure if there really is an answer. But I just know that I get sidetracked from what I need to do, and I find it really hard not to. I am so slow at doing everything, and I am very 'routines and rituals' orientated. I love to wear headphones and listen to music when I'm getting ready, but the moment I slip them on, I start dreaming (I have this 'other life' in my head). I can dream without the headphones too, so having my mum hide them is only a little help (at night this isn't even an option: I have hypersensitivity ams my dad's snoring makes me want to explode). Partly I feel motor skill issues contribute to this - I find putting my boots on and washing my face really tricky, and brushing my teeth is so awkward - so I spend as long as possible procrastinating in any way I can. Also, lack of motivation is an issue. I just lie on the floor sometimes and laze about - even though my mind is begging me to get ready. Often I have really hyper, whispered conversations with imaginary friends, and it's all getting me down. I see the dawn most mornings, and I usually finish getting ready only when night casts its sulky shadow. Could anyone shed some light on this? Please? Thank you so much for reading all this...it means so much. Wordsmith xxx
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