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Would you use a cure for autism?

Would you use a cure for autism?  

194 members have voted

  1. 1. Would you use a cure for autism?

    • Yes, for my child
      84
    • No, for my child
      56
    • Yes, for myself
      17
    • No, for myself
      37


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Sadly you can't :( People will always fear or be negative about what they don't understand, and may well react on a very subliminal level, that of a 'gut feeling', which we all have, even aspies and others. In short you may feel a dislike for someone or something and avoid it, this is apart of man's (And women's too !), basic primal response to danger, whether apparent, or perceived, so there is no real answer to 'ignorance' or discrimination, when it's based on that emotion,and you can't legislate against it either. Why do we like some people and avoid others without knowing them ? it's always there. You can't argue on grounds of being reasonable, the feelings go a lot deeper, and in part, based on self-protection. We're still animals.

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I have two daughters . One has AS and is rude ,violent and sad alot the nt is easy ,friendly,happy little girl .My dd knows no different than to have AS it might not be one second i would change her more like two. You may be happy to have autism but not everyone is the same as you.

 

Yes Lucas i have read loads of books and do my best to help my dd and i take your suggestion that i am a bad parent as very insulting.

 

Edited by trekster

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Karen, I don't think Lucas was implying that you are a bad parent :unsure:>:D<<'>

 

This is an emotive issue, and we are all entitled to our own views on this subject.

 

One of the strengths of our forum is our ability to discuss thought-provoking issues in a tolerant and respectful way...

 

Bid (wearing her Moderator's Hat!!) :bat::ph34r:

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If you can quote where I suggested you were a bad parent I would be very grateful; I've said an awful lot to contradict that assertion and nothing to support it.

 

And please don't talk to me like I'm an opiniated idiot who's ideas are based soley on personal experience. I've yet to read an unbiased emperial study proving Autism causes the problems it is so erroneously held responsible for which hasn't had a lot of holes shot in it. You didn't bother reading Kanner's follow-up did you?

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It was going just fine until someone decided a case for intolerence required little solid reasoning then I was accused of saying something I never did.

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When your ASD children become adults with ASD then maybe you will understand why the adults with ASD hold the views that they do.

 

Sorry Bid

 

Carole

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Lucas, I wonder if Karen mis-read your post about the now dis-credited 'refrigerator mother' theory? She might have made a mistake and thought you were talking about her??

 

I'm sure no-one thinks you are an idiot! >:D<<'>

 

Bid :bat:

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I don't think your an idiot Lucas. I actually think you seem very brainy to brainy for me to understand. It was the bit about enviroment that i thought you were blaming me for her problems. Anyway as for me being intolerant you don't have my daughter swearing and hitting you loads of times a day.Even so she is still my daughter and i love her very much.

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Having previously read Kanner's follow up study on the link Lucas gave, I'd recommend having a look. I came across it entirely unrelated to this thread which I'm not going to get involved in (far too contentious a subject for me in the hols,I'm fragile !)

I was seriously amazed about the outcome of this small group of children, especially when you think we're talking about 50 odd years ago.

That's all I wanted to say, have a look,

wac

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And perhaps if I was one of the few Autistic supremecists who hated NTs for various reasons, the main one being the noise they make as it is incredibly painful to me, would it make a difference if I discovered on my travels to deliver supremecy propaganda to Autistic specialist schools that Autistic children are also painfully noisey?

 

Would I then have to hate Autistics aswell because they also make noise? It was after all(Reminder: this is hypothetical!) my main reason for wanting to purge the Neurotypical filth. No.

 

Just as it doesn't mean you are tolerant for putting up with hitting whilst at the same time you desire to cure her Autism, which you erroneously think is the cause.

 

Do you know why it HAS to be called "Stereotyped Patterns" of behaviour?

 

Because any scientist who says Autistics are characterised by specific common behaviours is risking ridicule because it's poor scientific intergrity; there has never been any evidence which indicates that Autism causes any specific behaviours. This is the same reason why the NAS(being the best Autism society in the world, scoring an average of 3 out of 10 among the Autistic community) asserts that there is no link between Autism and aggression.

 

So any half-decent Autism professional must keep assumption at arms-length and describe the associated behaviours as "Stereotyped Patterns", because they are just that: nothing more than stereotypes.

 

So when you talk about how wonderful your NT child is and how horrible your Autistic child is(yet love them just the same), don't think it tells me anything about Autism, it's what it's telling me about you that registers.

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Hi Lucas. clearly we have as much difficulty understanding Autism,as Aspies have understanding us, it's a learning curve, some of us make it, a lot of us don't, it goes BOTH ways. There's really not a lot of point in saying "Try seeing it my way", because that isn't possible, we can only respond/react/relate as per our own experiences and reflect if others are near or not to it (Just as you do !).

 

My own reactions are via my own 'issue' which is deaf as a post, so not understanding (I prefer the more accurate description of not HEARING things, but....), these things I tend to have some experience of, as I do, not being understood, because as my ears have become useless decoration, it's assumed my brain went with it, why wasn't I a dribbling wreck making baskets and being led around by a social worker ?

 

I've come to realize you're banging your head against a brick wall, people will warm to you or not, tough isn't it ? Deaf world, or Aspie world it's not the main event is it. I get frightened occasionally by my own son's behaviour, although he sees no reason whatever why I should feel this way. Mainly I worry that one day it may go beyond my ability to prevent others making his life a misery, as they will.

 

It's not to make my life easier, or, to 'incur' what is perfectly reasonable behaviour as far as he is concerned. Our children don't come with a handbook, if they did I doubt it would cover A for Autism. In an ideal world we can ignore others and their views, but our children won't contain some unacceptable behaviour for them anymore than they do for us. This is real life, not a Hollywood movie romanticizing Autism, where they only show the more 'acceptable' bits, played by people with no autism whatever. Whatever happens in the future my son has his parents love and care, but, we can't make others feel the same way or agree.

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And I strongly beg to differ that changes can't be made, looking at the changes that have happened over the last century. Evidence enough can also be found in how information about Autism dictates attitude and policy, most information about Autism is inaccurate and opinionated tosh and it has caused vast changes in how Autistics are looked at.

 

compare Kanner and Asperger's notes with that of today's Autism researchers, they don't often know as much as Kanner of Asperger did but still think it just to insert negative inferences about Autism and never demonstrating how they are justified. Simply changing the information available on Autism has influenced how society behaves towards us, so I very much do not accept that change is not going to happen when it has done so repeatedly since Autism was first described.

 

Please don't suggest that I have any romanticised hollywood ideas about Autism, it's always been those pushing for a cure who have had to rely on caricatures.

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Hi all,

 

This topic is beginning to teeter on the edge of calmness.

 

Lets keep the debate going and keep it on topic, and all take a very deep breath.

 

Kris

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In a heartbeat.

 

I would take dd autism away for her and her family who love her deeply.

 

Tilly

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I wouldnt change my little aspie son.

 

I would like to change the world though and make it compulsary that disabilities and how they present themsleves ect be taught to all children in school to raise awareness.So that theres not so much ignorance about.

 

It would be far more usefull than say learning blooming logarithams in maths in my opinion.

 

 

Our children arent the problem its the bloomeing world and dozey foks attitude that make life difficult.

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Theres a none verbal autistic little boy on the school bus i escort on.

 

The lady whoes showing me how to go on said oh we just ignore him he cant talk so whats the point !!!!!!!!!!!! I was gobsmacked.

 

I sat down with him and chatted away,he did communicate in points and gestures and he even laughed at my identity pass photo.i even got a hug and a kiss from this little lad.His parents were amazed and so was the other escort.just because someone cant speak doesnt mean they dont understand or enjoy conversation.Ive made a new freind.And given the other escort food for thought.

 

Bit of topic i guess but wanted to share

Edited by Paula

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Theres a none verbal autistic little boy on the school bus i escort on.

 

 

I sat down with him and chatted away,he did communicate in points and gestures and he even laughed at my identity pass photo.i even got a hug and a kiss from this little lad.

Bit of topic i guess but wanted to share

 

 

Paula, you are a lovely person. if only there were more people who would take the time like you did. When people make the effort with my boys in a way which they can relate to they are alway overwhelmed by the response they get. Some people can make a great impression and others are just 'there'. You have probably made things so much better for this little lad, just because there is now someone on the ride to school who actually sees him as a person. I'm not a sentimental type (or try not to be :P ) but your post almost brought tears to my eyes :wub:

 

Lauren

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We chatted about films and stuff.He had a video with him and i talked about it.He was looking and touching my hands.And was drawn to my wedding ring.I said hey up youre not coping for that youll sell the begger.Againe he laughed.

 

 

Makes you wonder how many more of these kids are travelling on busses ignored by the escort and haveing no input what so ever.Least i know something about autism.I also know from my own son thhat theres more ways of communicating other than verbal.i learned to read my son like a book ever little movement and gesture even a twitch of a finger ment something.My son didnt speak until he was turned 4 and then only one word.He now communicates fairley well.

 

like you say some people care and some are just there.If i ever stopped careing and wanting to make a difference then i wouldnt want to do the job.

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As an adult AS I wouldn't take a 'cure' as it would stop me being the person that I am. I can understand that for parents a 'cure' could be a good thing but I think you reach a point in your life where the autism (of whatever 'flavour') kind of makes you what you are and there can actually be advantages over being NT. Speaking wholly for myself, I'm proud of being AS and wouldn't want to be a 'norm' - it's also the AS 'version' of me that my wife married (whether that's an advantage for me or not is another question though ;) )

 

That's my 2p's worth anyway

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I have mixed feelings. As an aspiring adult, on the whole I'd rather have AS than not these days, the problems it's given me has made me what I am now - which is something entirely preferable to the average 18 year old.

 

 

On the flip side, in an ideal world I'd like kids of my own one day but with AS and the other problems they stand to inherit I wouldn't even consider it. Couldn't live with the responsibility of putting anyone through that.

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As lots of you have said, I wouldn't take Haydens Autism away, he wouldn,t be the georgous little boy he is without it but i would like to help his sensory issues and issues with change, he gets very distressed at changes.

 

Clare

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My son caught me reading this tonight and as he has previously asked me if I would have aborted him had I known ( hes 10 adhd asd dyspraxia)- God no. His adhd while at times so painful I could cry , it makes him interesting - theres a kid in his class so calm and polite and to be honest OTt and boring I would prefer my whirlwind any day... He has mad ideas and wears me out but hey ill be dead a long time ... Have to say that medication has made a difference as 24 hours of that a day was hard. Now I get the best bits. Hes fantastic. But I do worry about his future. No one else may see his charms, an employer will hate his disorganistion, his poor time keeping, his inability to explain anything simply, -- But I love him just as he is. Who knows Ill win the lottery and then we can dance on the beach in winter and sing at 2 am and nothing will matter!

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-- But I love him just as he is. Who knows Ill win the lottery and then we can dance on the beach in winter and sing at 2 am and nothing will matter!

 

 

I think we'll join you- oops back to the Island idea again :lol:

A lovely sunny Island with only ASD's and Families allowed.......................Bliss :DB)

 

 

Clare

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I wouldn't take my dd's autism away from her, the way I imagine it, if you suddenly took autism away, you would end up with someone completely different. For someone to be suddenly cured their minds would suddenly be working in a completely different way, that would be cruel, like brainwashing, taking away everything you have ever known and replacing it with an unfamiliar and scary new situation. I can't imagine it doing the autistic person any good at all.

 

Autism is part of my daughters personality, the way she is. In an ideal world people would accept her as she is and would treat her with respect. I would like to take away the barriers that make life difficult for us both, if we could understand each other properly then that would be the perfect situation for me.

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my dd wasn't a planned pregnancy at all,after having 3 other children the last thing i wanted was another baby!as it turned out i found myself pregnant at 35yrs of age and had just split up with her father(older 3 from previous marriage)i was in shock for days,i decided everything happens for a reason and coped on my own,ihad a threatened miscarriage so decided not to have amnio that was offered as i wouldn't of aborted if she had had downs or something anyway!!my other dd's always said she was special cuz she wasn't meant to be and as it turned out she's special because she's ASD and i wouldnt change her for anything,she is who she is and i love every inch of her,i just hope lifes not too hard on her but shes got 3 big sisters to look out for her(ages 21,18,15)when i'm not around!!!

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i did say yes, however, afterschool today i witnessed the most vile child who was running around calling everyone "spacko" and picked on one poor child saying "you live in a shed" he was wacking other kids round the head. so after witnessing the "the most vile child of the year" i look at my niave loving little autistic children and say i would rather they were like that than vile like this child was!

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I would never change my daughter,just the sugestion makes me angry.

My daughters the best.

I dont believe in cures for autism.

I do belive that we should stop wasting time and energy on this cure thing and work on teaching people to understand.

Im NT my daughter aspergic whos right?Why should it be that my views are right and hers wrong?

I refused testing for downs ect with both my kids i would never have aborted so i saw no point in being tested i believe that everyone regardless of colour dissability or anythink else you may like to add are equal.i love both my kids ,they are different but niether one is right or wrong.

My daughter finds things hard but shes not upset by having aspergers because she has a family and friends who love and support her and tell her she great.People who are on her side against small minded people who think we should all be the same.

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On the flip side, in an ideal world I'd like kids of my own one day but with AS and the other problems they stand to inherit I wouldn't even consider it. Couldn't live with the responsibility of putting anyone through that.

 

A lot of the problems resulting from AS are exacerbated by society and the education system. My school forced me to write with a pen and play football in PE lessons rather than use computers because they failed to understand me and wanted me to fit in with the rest of the class.

 

I was talking to an engineer who is involved with recruitment for the company he works for. I discussed AS with him but he didn't know much about it. I explained that it is a variant of autism and therefore a disability, and that discriminating against people with AS is against the law. His reply was that it is a free market and employers can choose who they want to employ in practice. They want the best people they can find because at the end of the day their company has to compete in a global economy. He told me that he gets nervous if he gets a disabled person in for an interview. He confessed that he has rejected some disabled people because of their disability and had to make up a convincing excuse for the rejection.

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It's a difficult question a cure, a lot of parents are under seige because no matter how much they try to raise awareness, or how much they support an autistic child's right to be, mainstream makes it virtually impossible, yes you can struggle on, indeed we do ! but to alleviate the isolation of your child, to make things easier for them, and access better for them, yes I would, being politically correct and rights aware is one thing, but we talk this, few others facilitate it. As parents we shouldn't be made to feel guilty for wanting the best for our children, from ANY sector, or for accepting, that despite OUR view of our children, nobody else really cares, they're just a a statistic to everyone else. You'll get help (Perhaps) while in education, there'll be nothing at all after, the long term view ? a hypothetical cure there ? yes I 'd take it, because I have no faith in the system to be accepting, you want to spare your child uneccessary pain and anguish, I view it from that aspect. Parents are there to do the best they can, but they have to think what if.... also.

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A lot of the problems resulting from AS are exacerbated by society and the education system. My school forced me to write with a pen and play football in PE lessons rather than use computers because they failed to understand me and wanted me to fit in with the rest of the class.

 

I was talking to an engineer who is involved with recruitment for the company he works for. I discussed AS with him but he didn't know much about it. I explained that it is a variant of autism and therefore a disability, and that discriminating against people with AS is against the law. His reply was that it is a free market and employers can choose who they want to employ in practice. They want the best people they can find because at the end of the day their company has to compete in a global economy. He told me that he gets nervous if he gets a disabled person in for an interview. He confessed that he has rejected some disabled people because of their disability and had to make up a convincing excuse for the rejection.

 

Would he employ a disabled person who was qualified and experienced in the job he is interviewing for?

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Would he employ a disabled person who was qualified and experienced in the job he is interviewing for?

 

I asked him that question and his reply was depends on the disability and whether he thinks it is detrimental to the interests of the company.

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I never know how to answer this question, think it depends what sort of day we've had! To cure my son would undoubtably change him and I'm not sure I'd want to do that. Sometimes think I'd like to help alleviating certain aspects like his speech problems and anxieties but you can't really pick and choose which bits of ASD you want to keep and which to cure, it comes as a package. Changing the world we live in to be more accepting wouldn't really be enough. At the age of four he still lives in a fairly tolerant environment. He would still have his developmental issues, frustrations over his speech and knock on effects of his speech delay, he would still find certain every day noises distressing. If a cure would make my son a happier more fulfilled person though I would be very tempted to take it, I think for me that is the crux. It's so hard to answer though as it is all hypothetical and I wonder how I would really react if a cure ever did become available.

 

I occasionally wonder what my son would have been like if he didn't have ASD, what sort of person he would have been instead? Would life have been better, worse or just different? Can't think about this too long as it can drive you mad thinking about the alternatives but occasionally allow myself a ponder

 

Lx

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I found it hard,because up until 2 years or so he was absolutely it seemed to me no different to any other child, the sudden onset (appearance) of ASD, the shut downs, the silence the obssesive disorders etc gave me the impression my son WASN'T always ASD from day one (I know it sounds strange but...), so if a 'cure' was around I would see that as a return to the 'norm' he was. It was and is confusing when they said he was ASD afterwards, I asked where did it come from ? If he was born with it, why no signs for his first 2 years ? It was like a switch was turned off, the norm had gone, that it co-incided with the MMR jabs made the confusions worse when everyone and the cat said the jabs were not a contributing factor, and the nature of autism is that the apparent 'normality' is a feature of it, and the timing at around 2 years or so when it becomes noticeable.. I wasn't convinced.

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my son is what the dr's say "active but odd". I dont think i would want him to be any different , life would not be the same if he was not apart of this lovely spectrum! Dont get me wrong there are many days i feel like im :wallbash: but he was born with an asd for a reason (which i have yet to find out) :D He's just perfect the way he is. :thumbs:

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My son is my son, but as a parent I won't always be able to protect him against ignorance, I will try obviously. He may at this age be quite content with how he is, but on entering an adult world.......... I fear he will be one very isolated and very lonely individual, who will find people don't care. A hypothetical 'cure' may then seem a very valid option, even to him. I don't think ALL aspies are completely content as they are either, my own son now asks why is he different ? Why is my brain different to others ? so he is taking on board the fact 'peers' are not seeing him as he sees himself, and even asked me why haven't I , noticed he is different ? (which is credit to us I suppose we never made any issue of it to him and accepted him unconditionally as you do with your kids).

 

He now discusses his autism, up until recently he really wasn't aware of 'differences'. The insecurity is already seeping in, others have marked him as 'different', he is aware of people poking fun, pointing at him. How are other parents addressing this ? YES you are different ? or NO, you are 'special' ? Hes my son I don't look at it any other way than that. Can we protect our children from ignorance, or educate our children to deal with it ?

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I would take my ds sons autism away in a flash.

 

I don't think he would be any less gorgeous without it - my other son isn't.

 

I don't think a lot of us would be trying to lessen their traits by using other means e.g. supplements, diets, coloured lenses etc.

 

Unfortunately his anxieties and irrational fears are his ASD we can't "cherry pick" which traits our children have.

 

When I see very few and far NT moments which my sons share together my heart soars, so yes in a flash I would take his autism away.

 

Gardenia

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