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oxgirl

I'm worried ............

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I'm very worried about my son, who has started displaying behaviours that we've never seen before.

 

He is very isolated and lonely at school and has no friends and wanders around that place on his own. The stress and anxiety of school are getting to him.

 

Last night we found out that he wasn't just faffing about when we asked him to turn his light out at bedtime. He has, infact, started having to check and touch all of his toys before he can settle to sleep, it takes about 45 mins. He says he doesn't want to do it but he feels like he must and he feels anxious if he doesn't. He's very worried about it and whether it be weird. I reassured him and said, that's fine, if he needs to do it I'll just let him know in plenty of time so that he can turn his light off at 10ish, but I'm worried sick that this behaviour might escalate! :crying:

 

HELP!!

 

~ Mel ~

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Hi Mel.I know from personal experience that my need to check things and my obsessive tendencies increase if I am anxious.It is a way for me to establish some structure in order to cope.It is good that you are aware that your son is finding school stressful.Is there anyone you can discuss his increased anxiety with ? Eg do Camhs provide you with support.I think you are right to not try to stop his way of coping and to say it is ok.I found that when my OH attempted to stop my routines the anxiety just escalated.However it is worth getting some support if you can.Karen

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Hi Mel.I know from personal experience that my need to check things and my obsessive tendencies increase if I am anxious.It is a way for me to establish some structure in order to cope.It is good that you are aware that your son is finding school stressful.Is there anyone you can discuss his increased anxiety with ? Eg do Camhs provide you with support.I think you are right to not try to stop his way of coping and to say it is ok.I found that when my OH attempted to stop my routines the anxiety just escalated.However it is worth getting some support if you can.Karen

 

 

Thanks for your encouragement Karen. No, I don't have any kind of support from CAHMS or anyone, we just struggle on on our own. I suppose it was the fact that he's never done that before that really frightened me (and him), I'm worried where it will go next I suppose. Apparently he's been doing it for a week or so and trying to hide it from us, so now it is out in the open he might feel better about it, especially if we don't make a big deal of it.

 

Cheers.

 

~ Mel ~

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Thanks for your encouragement Karen. No, I don't have any kind of support from CAHMS or anyone, we just struggle on on our own. I suppose it was the fact that he's never done that before that really frightened me (and him), I'm worried where it will go next I suppose. Apparently he's been doing it for a week or so and trying to hide it from us, so now it is out in the open he might feel better about it, especially if we don't make a big deal of it.

 

Cheers.

 

~ Mel ~

 

I think it may be worth talking to your GP to see if there is anyone they could reffer you to for some support.It may help to have some advice re what can be done to help with the anxiety.Yes it is good to not make a big deal of it.But it is worth keeping an eye on how anxiety level is.We know when Ben is more anxious because he stammers a bit.When we notice it return we don't make a big deal of it but do try to figure out what is going on.Karen

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Obsessive features are common in autism, but this has crossed the line and become OCD. It already has escalated.

 

But OCD is a treatable condition. It is not part of being autistic, it is causing him distress, and there is treatment that can help him. Counselling, therapy and medication can all help. I know medicating children is controversial, but it can be appropriate sometimes, and your son's case does sound fairly severe.

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Hi Oxgirl,

 

Just a watched a Tony Attwood video this evening - the section on Aspergers and Adolescence.

 

He mentions mood and psychological disorders in children with Aspergers and goes on to list many things under depression and anxieties.

 

He said that one of the first sign of anxieties/depression is to do with when their specific interest or obsession becomes more than just pleasure and relaxing - when it becomes obsessional and OCD - it means that their anxiety levels are at number 9 or 10 on the scale rather than 2 or 3. He also goes on to say that if they start wanting longer periods of solitude that is also a warning sign. Once it gets to this level they need help. That when the anxieties are high their brains are tense and tight - which makes their thought processes more rigid - whereas when their brains are relaxed and comfortable they are more flexible in their thinking - and obviously more open to discussion.

 

 

 

Take care,

Jb

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Hi,

 

Both my son and myself go through periods like this when our anxieties are high and trying to stop them just agitates them.

 

From my own experiences, and the advice I've been given by A's psychiatrist, its no use dealing with the symptoms, the obssessive tendencies, unless you also deal with the root cause of the anxieties, otherwise you are merely papering over the cracks and are setting up the conditions for an exploding time bomb. The problems may seem to disappear with medication but this is rarely the case, they're hidden below the surface.

 

You obviously think that school is at the root of your son's problems. I'd suggest going in and talking to them and seeing what you can sort out to help him. At the same time, I would see your GP and get a referral to CAMHS for help.

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