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PLAYGROUND INCIDENT - REALLY MAD!

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Hi

 

On Wednesday my husband picked up our son from school. A child a year younger than Robert had laid into him after playing and punched him. Robert held his arm out to keep the kid away from him in self defence. Following morning, Robert as usual ran into playground with me close behind. I saw a hulk of a bloke talking to him, which I didn't like the look of. I duly went over to be approached by the bloke ranting about how Robert laid into his son! Couldn't believe it. I told him that I'd heard about it as my husband had been present and because I myself wasn't there it was best he spoke to my husband. Big man that he is speaking to my son (whose still only 4!) and then me! Made my blood boil. I told him that his version of events differed from my husbands and had I been there, I would have acted appropriately if Robert had done something wrong. He stated that my hubby would stick up for Robert, at that I replied by saying that he would stick up for his son, however considering neither he or his wife had been present they weren't in a position to comment. I also pointed out that it was unreasonable to expect me to tell Robert off for protecting himself in self-defence. I also asked him if he'd spoken to his son about laying into another child. Bloke ranted on and on and said he was going to take things further. 'Fine, go ahead, you'll actually be doing me a favour', I said! He was pretty stunned. I went on to tell him how Robert gets blamed for a lot because of his AS and that I've battled for 3.5 years to get a diagnosis and then get support, etc. He soon clamped up!!! To finish I told him that I'd be taking things further if he ever approaches my son again. I'm livid! What a pathetic, poor excuse of a man approaching Robert. Thing is, I don't know what he said to Robert. Sad thing is, there's a whole load of people gunning for us. I get the feeling there's an anti-inclusion policy by some of those playground gossiping mothers. Basically, they're just waiting and expecting Robert to misbehave. Thing is, he's trying so hard and doing really well. He does have up and down days, but has full-time support. I wish people would just leave us alone.

 

Caroline.

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> firstly a few of these for Robert and you , it must of been a kind of scary experience.

 

I would take it furthur now and get the school to announce something in their newsletters about parents not being allowed to approach either other children or parents if they have any kind of greviance they should contact school directly - I remeber our school publishing something similar though I do not know if an actual incident had prompted them too - I think it was backed up about police becoming involved if they spoke to/harrased other children directly like that.

The guy sounds just like a bully and I wonder who his son is modelling his behaviour after! It still confuses me but something similar happened to me as a child where another girl spat on me then ran off next thing I know my mum is smacking me cause this girls mum came to the door saying I had spat on her daughter my mum being the trusting sort just took that as fact and as she hates spitting totally went a little OTT on me - something similar happened with my sister too and after these two events she did stop to check the facts with us in the future. She was too trusting and couldn't understand how a culprit could turn the tables like that - I think they are taking the best form of defence for thier actions is to get in first and attack in the unfortunately correct belief that their parents believe every word they utter without question!!!

I'm all for parents supporting and trusting thier children but surely they have to be a little wise to the lies kids can invent these days - I don't believe a child who can tell bare faced lies like that to their parents has never done it or been caught doing it before and even if the parents have every right to believe what the child says they certainly should not talk to another child like that especially a vulnerable 4 yr old - I mean good grief thats what truly beggars belief here.

I'm livid for you.

Hope things can get sorted out

 

take care

Lorraine

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>:D<<'> How awful for both you and your son >:D<<'>

 

I agree with what bramblebrae has said.

 

>:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Hi,

 

This "bloke" (or insert an appropriate swear word here) must be from the same planet as the one who shouted at me and Kai. What an idiot :angry: .

 

I hope Robert is ok. Good for you for standing up to him too, it's totally unacceptable to speak to any child like that, especially a four year old.

 

I had similar problems with the playground gossips when Kai was 5 and in mainstream. They'd already pushed one ASD boy out of the school and had turned on Kai next. It's a horrible thing to go through, i hope you're alright >:D<<'> .

 

Loulou x

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Oh Caroline, what an awful position to find yourself in :( Not nice having to confront people like this, and must of been so frightening for your son. I'd definately speak to the Head about it, and ask their advice....think they definately need to be made aware of the incident, should anything further take place. Take care >:D<<'>

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Hi

 

I phoned the headteacher (bearing in mind this is the same one which frogmarched me into her office during Robert's first hour at school!). She was actually very pleasant (a leopard doesn't change their spots so I'm very wary) and sympathetic. She's going to put something in the next newsletter that adults must not approach children in this way and that they must speak to staff. I also made a point of speaking to the Janitor. He was really nice and said if it happens again, he'll be phoning the police no messing!

 

Following day, I saw one of the mum's who hit the nail right on the head. She said that it's obviously a case of some people just waiting for Robert to "kick off". Basically, when at nursery it was partially parent-run which meant that mum's had to help out on a rota basis. They all obviously saw snippets of Robert's behaviour and have made their own minds up. Sad thing is, that I know that if anything goes wrong, Robert will be likely to get the blame. It just seems to be one thing after another.

 

Sounds awful, but in some ways I am actually hoping that he kicks off big time because at least that way his educational psychologist and co would have to make sure that he's educated somewhere which is best able to cater for his needs. I've made a point of saying that I think Christman is a good milestone in the sense that it's long enough for Robert to have settled in. I don't think that an ASD unit is the best place for Robert, having said that I don't know where is! He seems to be in the twilight zone, not quite fitting into the 'norm', but yet not quite fitting into 'special' (ASD unit). I'm at a loss as to what to do next, but I guess time will tell.

 

I hope that piece of work of proud of himself acting the way that he did - something tells me that if he's any decency at all, he'll be thoroughly ashamed!

 

When I drop Robert off at school and head off for work, I have a sick niggly feeling in my stomach and worry about him the whole time until I know he's back at home at the end of the school day.

 

My hands are tied in that even if I wanted Robert out of there, I don't think I'd have a strong enough case as yet to get him elsewhere. I just hope that time will tell!

 

NB: Still don't know what the guy said to Robert, he got really cross when I asked him - "I'm not going to tell you - I'm going to wreck the car!". We were in the car when I asked him. I didn't push for an answer (worst thing to do), but I did tell him that if anyone spoke to him like that man, that he must see a teacher straight away. Really tricky subject to raise.

 

C.

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It should not be included in the next newsletter it should be an official letter to all parents so parents understand that the school means business. When I was COG at Matthew's school this happened on one occasion and the Head actually involved the LEA at once because he said that parents must never think that they can do this within the school grounds. On another occasion a woman grabbed hold of a child who was kicking a ball and the Head had her excluded from entering the school grounds even with her own child. The LEA supported his decision.This may sound shocking but the parents all knew where they stood. This man sounds awful and no way should he get away with accosting - because that is what he did - a four year old.

 

Oracle

Edited by oracle

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I agree with Oracle in our school, the Head is very keen on behaviuor and bullying!

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What a rotten stinking bully.

How dare he!

Anytime you want me to come to the school with you i'm free. You know what people like that get right up my nose. Parents talking amongst themselves making their minds up......I've been there and you know what i walked with my head down amongst the biggest load of snobs you'll ever meet and after a while i thought ###### you lot, and i spoke out LOUDLY and funnily enough they didn't know where to look anymore. And i didn't stop talking loudly when any of them where in earshot, about Lews diagnosis, his behaviours, the people involved with him and dared any one of them to say anything. Funnily enough they must have felt thoroughly ashamed (hmm maybe not!!) of themselves because the complaints about him stopped!

You are his voice Caroline, make it heard time and time again. Don't stop, because these ignorant gits need it drumming in!

Kirstie.

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Just catching up!!

 

Our two seem to go through the same things within weeks of each other!! I was threatened by a couple of parents in the playground 2 weeks ago and since then a group of parents have been making very nasty comments in front of ds in the playground. The Head is doing b***r all, not happy to take my word and that of After School Club.

 

I have been away at a conference and my mum was going to look after the kids down here but I pulled them out of school this week and they went up north.

 

Informed the Director of Education that E was not safe in school and as his as safety cannot be guaranteed I have withdrawn him for the week.

 

I am now seriously considering a specialist placement as all of this has kicked off because of E's aggressive behaviour which he can't control and having no support there is no one there to intervene.

 

My name will be mud in East Lothian this week as several people got nippy letters before I left!!

 

I feel things have just fast forwarded and we are now at action point, so I do know what you mean about almost wishing R would kick off.

 

I hope you and R are feeling a bit calmer now a few days have passed.

 

Carrie

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I know people................... u wanna have him......sorted?

:devil::devil:

 

seriously tho this man is no more than a bully himself how dare he!

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