Holiday Club just more stress really

[bramblebrae]

I dunno if I am or but i feel

 

My son has been attending a holiday club via the SS, I had asked if he could attend specfic ASD club and was fobbed off that this one was mixed ASD/mainstream but is it heck its basically a �15 a day childcare and afterschool club. Anyway he has/is supposed to go this week (holidays here last 2 weeks) on tues, wed, thurs with an extra helper, called a link worker, provided by carers centre paid by SS too. First day, link worker couldn't come til lunch time but I was assured someone there had ASD training and they weren't too busy so just to take him - arrived, 3 helpers and about 20 kids - never the less I gave it a go. I phoned to check if he was getting on ok and if i should get him then(3.30pm) or leave him til 6pm the closing time - very narked off sounding lady said there'd been a couple of incidents but he was sitting quietly playing now (now said in a tone!) she described one of the incidents to me and sounded really shocked that it had happened. Note no one was hurt in either incident though 'shocking' one involved my son intruding on another child in there 'one' toilet and refusing to leave and then wandering around bathroom with clothing down as he had difficulty getting them up, never opens the buttons. Anyway I had to sign a report to say I'd read their incident log which they need to keep for some official childcare team thing I really don't know. Anyway felt really bad, I'd been really nervous all the way there to get him because the attitude of this lady on the phone but she wasn't nearly as bad when I got there. DS insisted that he really liked it and wanted to go back. So I took him - no phone calls of incidents or anything but when i got there and asked how he'd been same narky lady was like - no incidents as such but he just won't listen to us- I just don't understand what they were expecting they've been fully informed of the fact he has an ASD he's got the link worker there (who I actually think isn't any use thats the third I've met and they've all been 19 yr old girls (ageism?) but I've never seen them intervene - the one there on the first day just kept looking at me embarrasedly as the woman went on to account the incidents to me and I tried to explain why I thought they had happened oh and then at that point she said maybe I could write more about his behaviours in their enrollment form but honestly he's so unpredictable I really can't cover every eventuality that might happen and so often I say this might happen or that and then if it dosen't I'm treated like an idiot and get the usual 'he dosen't seem very ASD to me' speech as if I'm inventing it! I just feel like I can't win either way

Anyway what was worse after saying this she went back to other club helper and the other one said something and they both looked at me then I overheard soemthing like 'no just leave it' and I really feel like something happened they haven't told me about. On top of all this I asked about the link worker and narky lady said oh poor lassie she was from out in the country, about 30min drive or 90min once bad traffic, and she had only expected to be needed til 4 or 4.30pm at the latest so they had just told her to go at 4.30. There had been big confusion over the times he should go and I never did get a straight answer so when he said he liked it so much I just said to him and the helpers if he wanted to come home at any point just phone- all of this club thing is for his benefit as we're quite isolated socially both of us it wasn't for respite or anything and i really had no problem with him going at all in terms of my time so they could of easily phoned me. The FSW(family social worker) who organised and myself had discussed times and we though maybe 10am to 4pm would be fine then when I met the clubs organisor (dosesn't actually work there but is admin as they have several clubs throughout city) said it ran form 8am to 6pm and if we were going to be late I'd have to phone and check where they were as they might go on a trip into town or something, then I checked that week they were defiently not going on trip but I was still confused about times. We don't get up early ,sleep issues, so I never took him til 10.30am both days and had said to them and FSW if he was enjoying it I'd rather leave him be till ending time as I didn't want to spoil his fun, heck I wouldn't of taken him back at all today if I'd had my way.

Thing is he is still saying he likes it, he likes the new and different toys is what it is, from the brief conversations I've got from him about it, it dosen't sound like he's took part in any group things or played with anyone, maybe next to them as usual!

 

I really don't know what I'm gonna do in the morning to be honest I'm strongly thinking of taking him to toysrus and just buying him this marble game thing he likes to play with there, I know he'd be happy with it. But is that me just copping out because I'm finding it hard and spoiling something he says he likes though I'm not sure it's good for him at all. I feel like me and my 'antisocial' ways do get in the way of his socialsing already as if I had friends with kids maybe he'd have more friends but I'm just not that kind of person I don't have any friends as such just aquaintances. I can get along with anyone usually on a surface level but not any closer than that. I don't want to be any closer than that!

2 fairly relaxed peaceful days at home I even had a nap without constant interruption and I feel more stressed than ever! it's not right! I seriously think I'm just not equiped to handle any kind of conflict outwith family at all, I've left numerous jobs because of it in the past, it's always at the 2yrs in mark everyone just gets too familiar with each other every time.

 

Lorraine

[Bullet]

It sounds as though they have little understanding about how your son's ASD affects him and don't realise a lot of his behaviour is linked to it. If you feel up to it, I'd suggest a meeting with them in which you explain why a couple of incidents they mentioned arose. Or you could write the main points down. If they're good, they'll start to notice some of the triggers themselves and look for ways of dealing with them, or ask you for advice.

I'd give it a little longer if he's happy there, but if the situation starts worsening then don't feel guilty about removing him.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Sounds like the staff can't be bothered or have something to hide/cover up. I would certainly put pen to paper and state your concerns and ask for a response along with a report in writing. I would also try and speak to a more approachable member of staff and insist you want a full account of how things have been going.

 

As a rule if I don't like the sound of something or get that 'gut feeling', I'd steer clear. That may not be helpful, but experience has taught me in the past to trust my instincts. Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

[dooday24]

i feel exactly like cmuir id have to go with my instincts good luck <'> <'> <'>

[butterfingersbimbo]

yeah and me....see how it goes today, and see if you can talk to someone nicer there and ask them what their understanding of asd is....