oxgirl Report post Posted October 23, 2006 Just got a good look at my J's thumbs today, he's been hiding them from me recently. They're absolutely red raw, all the skin is gone and they're down to the bottom layers!! They must be so sore, and look awful. He says he can't stop picking them, it's become a compulsion! I don't know what to do to help him with this, has anyone else had this?? He was so upset that I'd found out and was crying and said now he feels even worse, all the time he could go on doing it and not think about it, it was easier for him, but now I've confronted him about it he's a mess. I'm trying to suggest he has something in his hand to stroke or fiddle with instead, but he's terrified of looking 'weird' and of people noticing and it drawing attention to him. Any ideas anyone??!! ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kinky j Report post Posted October 23, 2006 does he like certain fabrics? ie fleece or something? could he wear a certain kind of top so it'd be less conspicuos(sp) when he's fiddling with it? perhaps a hoodie with a drawstring sorry, not much help i know but all i can think of ATM. kj Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nic m Report post Posted October 23, 2006 Hi mel i dont know if it will help you have probably thought of it already but you know the stress balls you can get,there are tiny wee ones available with faces on them that he could keep in his pocket maybe? My daughter sucks her thumb and feels labels and she has them hidden everywhere even in her pencil case so that she can use them in school without it being so obvious.She needs a whole hour at home with these comforts before she can do anything else. She also has access to a toilet in school (for her bowel problems) and if things are really bad she goes in there for 5mins to suck her thumb out of sight. You could ask the school if they have anywhere he could go to relieve the stress regularly, i know you have probably gone down this path but i thought i would mention it just in case.My nephew picks the skin off of his fingers too and it is really upsetting to see. He has regular time outs in school to let off steam (he is 15) and his fingers are usually an indication of how stressed he is.Hope you find something. Nicola Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted October 23, 2006 Thanks kj and Nicola, Yes, it is def a symptom of how stressed he is at the moment, which is why I'm so upset about it. At the moment he doesn't want to talk about or think about a solution, he just wants to ignore the problem. Not sure whether to stop mentioning it and just leave him or try and suggest things really, but I'll look into some nice textures that he might like and try and get him to accept something like that. Cheers. <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jenny1969 Report post Posted October 24, 2006 hi mel i know just what you mean my daughter is the same her fingers get so bad they are cracked split bleed and she only does it when she is in school when she is off school on holiday they heal up especially the 6 week holidays but as soon as she is back so is the picking i have tried everything i can think of but it doesnt help that she only does it at school and the teachers have never seen her do it the only time they know she has done it is when she makes them bleed it makes me feel so sad to know she is that sressed she can do this to her self hang in there if you get any tips pass it on jenny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted October 24, 2006 hi mel i know just what you mean my daughter is the same her fingers get so bad they are cracked split bleed and she only does it when she is in school when she is off school on holiday they heal up especially the 6 week holidays but as soon as she is back so is the picking i have tried everything i can think of but it doesnt help that she only does it at school and the teachers have never seen her do it the only time they know she has done it is when she makes them bleed it makes me feel so sad to know she is that sressed she can do this to her self hang in there if you get any tips pass it on jenny Yes Jenny, it's horrid, isn't it. My son's school aren't interested really and just shrug their shoulders when I try to tell them things, his TA is particularly lacking in insight and just says, 'he's fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine', well if he was fine he wouldn't be there, would he!! They think as long as he's not screaming hysterically then he's okay, oh, and if he is, then he's just being awkward! ........... haha, how did I end up moaning about school??!! Take care. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Devon mum Report post Posted October 26, 2006 I gave my finger and toe picker a ball of Blu Tak. He loves to fiddle with this, the teachers all know that he is still listening even though he appears absorbed by what he is making with his Blu Tak when he is expected to sit still and listen. I made sure school were aware that he had it and the reason he needed it. He goes through phases now, he wont need his Blu Tak for days then all of a sudden he can't be without it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted October 26, 2006 I gave my finger and toe picker a ball of Blu Tak. He loves to fiddle with this, the teachers all know that he is still listening even though he appears absorbed by what he is making with his Blu Tak when he is expected to sit still and listen. I made sure school were aware that he had it and the reason he needed it. He goes through phases now, he wont need his Blu Tak for days then all of a sudden he can't be without it. My J used to hold a little insect toy all the time when he was at primary school and he'd fiddle and play with it quite happily and still listen (sort of!!) Now he's older though, he doesn't want to draw attention to himself by holding anything because he doesn't want people to see and think he's weird, so we can't really get round that one at the mo! ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Valiant_Skylark Report post Posted October 27, 2006 Hi Mel, My Yr 8 son does the blu tak fiddling too as it was suggested by the OTs. He hasn't had any trouble about "being different" over it as far as I know, although the TAs had to receive training to accept that this fiddling helps him! I've also noticed that if you can keep lips moisturised with a lip salve and hands moisturised regularly too the incidence of nail biting, skin damaging etc decreases. Never let the child get thirsty either, as the dry lips seem to attract the fingers. This has worked for us. Obviously, stressors must be identified and dealt with as best as we are able too... but every little bit of extra tlc and help helps too? vs xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted October 27, 2006 Hi Mel, My Yr 8 son does the blu tak fiddling too as it was suggested by the OTs. He hasn't had any trouble about "being different" over it as far as I know, although the TAs had to receive training to accept that this fiddling helps him! I've also noticed that if you can keep lips moisturised with a lip salve and hands moisturised regularly too the incidence of nail biting, skin damaging etc decreases. Never let the child get thirsty either, as the dry lips seem to attract the fingers. This has worked for us. Obviously, stressors must be identified and dealt with as best as we are able too... but every little bit of extra tlc and help helps too? vs xx Thanks for the advice Valiant, I'll try moisturising his hands ..... if he'll let me get near him! ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
