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claire33

why?

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my 6yr old son adhd poss as

Why is it that i cant get him to stay downstairs?

Is it something i am doing? Sometimes i feel as if he doesnt like me

He spends all his time in his room when i do get him to come downstairs he behaves so badly i wonder why i bothered in the first place, i would love to spend more time with him, but i dont know how to do this.

I feel that although hes my son i dont even really know him!

Like theres a person inside somewhere that cant or wont come out!

I would really appreciate some feedback on this does anyone else have this????????????

Edited by claire33

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Hi Claire, Sorry i cant help you on this as my son 5yr old is always with me as he cant be left alone in a room ( i would have no house left :o )

 

 

Just an idea though - have you tried to join in his games on the computer.

 

 

Clare

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My brother was just like that particularly at the age of 13/14 ( He is ASD) but he did mellow out with time and while he will not write an emotional novel, his communication skills and co operation are far far better than they were. I do hope you find the same development.

 

 

 

 

Moira

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>:D<<'>

 

My son is aspergers and is 12.So ive a few more years worth of experiance.

 

 

Why not come at it from a different angle.Think ...what is it about his room that he finds so comforting.......Is it his bed,the clolur,the peace and quiete being on his own no one to bother him.Does he like wrapping himself in his quilt.Is it becausse he can close the curtaines.I hope you get me drift.

 

 

Then perhaps try in some way to recreate that feeling downstaires so he feels safe there.Its worth a whirl.And it might take time as all things with Aspergers ect.........

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my 6yr old son adhd poss as

Why is it that i cant get him to stay downstairs?

Is it something i am doing? Sometimes i feel as if he doesnt like me

He spends all his time in his room when i do get him to come downstairs he behaves so badly i wonder why i bothered in the first place, i would love to spend more time with him, but i dont know how to do this.

I feel that although hes my son i dont even really know him!

Like theres a person inside somewhere that cant or wont come out!

I would really appreciate some feedback on this does anyone else have this????????????

 

 

Hi Claire33,

 

I'm sure it is nothing to do with you, maybe he just finds his room a safe place and is comforted by being there. Does he enjoy you being in his room with him or is it out of bounds? I'd hardly see my son either if I didn't take a cushion upstairs and join him in his room, sit on the floor inside the door and just be with him there. Sometimes I don't even need to join in his 'game' or say much, I just sit and watch and drink a cuppa and he enjoys me just being with him (I think - well he doesn't object anyway!). If you really watch your son play you will become closer.

 

Good luck >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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hi mel

 

Ive tried that a few times were i try and get involved in his computer games with him (im no good at them) but i will sit on his bed and ask him things about what hes doing as i know he will go on forever about them if you let him.

Though a couple of times ill of been there about 5 mins and he'll say "you can go downstairs now"

What can i say to that?

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Though a couple of times ill of been there about 5 mins and he'll say "you can go downstairs now"

What can i say to that?

 

 

If that was me, I'd say cheerily, 'that's okay, I'm enjoying sitting here with you' and then I'd just sit there quietly and not interrupt him, but just be with him.

 

~ Mel ~

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Maybe i will try that i just took this as him not wanting me there and didn't want to push him

 

 

Try not to take it personally, it could be that he does want you there very much but just on his terms, i.e. doing it his way in his room. Maybe he sees the conversation as an intrusion or interruption to his thoughts and games and just wants you to sit quietly and not put any pressure on him to respond. I could be totally wrong, of course. >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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my 6yr old son adhd poss as

Why is it that i cant get him to stay downstairs?

Is it something i am doing? Sometimes i feel as if he doesnt like me

He spends all his time in his room when i do get him to come downstairs he behaves so badly i wonder why i bothered in the first place, i would love to spend more time with him, but i dont know how to do this.

I feel that although hes my son i dont even really know him!

Like theres a person inside somewhere that cant or wont come out!

I would really appreciate some feedback on this does anyone else have this????????????

 

 

My son is nearly 13 and he spends loads of time in his room. He feels safe up there with all his bits and bobs.. He doesnt spend much time with me either..... So i go up there with him and get him to teach me how to play on his playstation. or get him to put his best music on and dance. If he wants me to go, i say ok babe, you know im here if you change your mind.

 

Talk about things he loves doing.... in time he will ask you to come to his room.... I really do know how you feel..... its does get easier..... >:D<<'>

Edited by Just Jo

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cheers jo

 

nice to know its not just you though isn't it!!! :D

 

 

 

I thought it was only me until i joined this site the other week......... :D

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oh el's like my shadow......and if she is in her room and i am in mine on computer its mum mum mum ......but if her friend comes over thats it she doesnt want anything to do with me......either one extreme or the other!

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