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zaman

''I'm 80 and my son's only carer''

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:o Oh dear, what a sad story. there must be a lot of ppl out there in this situation.

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Just before xmas te bbc ran a programme during the day called whats normal who cares - it was part of the open university series and dealt with this issue what happens when the carer is older .

They only had 2 examples and I was very disapointed not in the people they portraited, but in how much they simplified the dilema.

One example was an elderly lady who had a daughter with downs - this daughter lived in sheltered housing and had done for many years.

The other a man whose wife had died and his son has behaviour and learning probelms. He had his son at home and was very vocal complainig to the local council about poor provision in his area. he even had a plackard he stuck to his car and drove around in to meetings - he wasnt a nut just a dad who really cared!

 

The programme I felt didnt have enough examples in it, nothing to show recent examples of vulnerable people abuse like in cornwall.It made him sound as if he was being over protective when really he was saying he wanted to be sure his son would be safe and well looked after if he went into a home 0- ,I agreed his concerns but the programme didnt even touch on it, or the work of the ann craft trust!

 

The lack of thought was very upsetting to me

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I read this article and yes its interesting and even parents who have normal children its a shiver down your spine, thought, last week a mother died of cancer leaving three young children, now their father will take care of them but some dont have that, its a frightening prospect, but one that we must note down our wishes and feelings of what we would like to happen if the worse happens.

 

wills are often good if there is likely to be issues within the family but like this lady she really didnt have any left and that is frightening and may need mencap or other disabilty organisation to look at what support is available,

 

I know that J isnt as severly effected as this man is but still I make it known to friends what I would like to happen to J if the worse happened and have made a list, if we face the things that frighten us and try and prepare then its not as frightening as it striked the first time we think of things like this.

 

in some ways it does go to show just how much more support there is for us now, with education, welfare, services and peoples jugdements of disabilities and special needs, we still need to go further but its got to be better now.

 

JsMum

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