going for residential

[hev]

steves school had a specialist from nottingham to observe him yesterday and he suggesting what ive been thinking/dreading for a while now,residential school,its something ive been putting off cos i felt like i would be sending him away but speaking to members here i have had very positive reports on how it has done their child the world of good and my aim is for steven to achieve the best he can in life and to be honest im not coping with his behaviour,steves not coping either,the school and this proffesional are going to back me all the way so thats good.

 

why is it when im writing this ive got a lump in my throat even though i know its for the best,im frightened really but the members whose children go to residential,how did you feel and what are your experiences?

[stressedmumto2]

Hev, although my son is not in residential he's now at home with me everyday till we go to tribunal. I am hoping to get him into residential. He's only 8 and sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right or wrong thing but the way I see it is if he goes I will be giving him his life back and that is all I can hope for at the moment.

 

Other parents I've spoken to on here whose children are in residential have spoken highly of the way their children are achieving.

 

I think at the end of the day you have to take a different direction when things are clearly not working and you are exhausted with the day to day battle.

 

I wish you lots and lots of luck with it and will just say look atlots of different residentials schools to find the one that you think is right for Steven.

 

Take Care <'>

[loulou]

Hi Hev,

 

Residential is something i have to consider for Kai as he goes up to secondary school in 2 1/2 years.

 

I suppose it's not something any parent would WANT to do, but like you said, you want Steven to acheive the best he can in life. I think that's very important.

 

Kai boards at his school 2 night a week at the moment. I miss him like crazy, but on the other hand the respite has been just what i needed. I look forward to seeing him when he comes home ! He tells me he hates it, but i know he's enjoying himself really. He's also learning social skills and playing with the other boys in a safe environment, rather than getting into all kinds of bother at home.

 

Good luck to you honey, Loulou xx <'>

[bid]

Hi Hev <'> <'>

 

As you know, my son went to a residential special school for AS when he was 15, then when he was 17 went on to a residential special FE college for AS, where he goes with specialist support to the local mainstream college for his A levels.

 

It's hard to decribe the progress he has made in 2 years. He has gone from a severe breakdown which saw him 'no longer functioning as a learner' (in the words of the LEA Ed Psych) caused by the acute stress of 10 years of struggling within mainstream, to a young person who has acheived excellent GCSE results and is now doing 3 A levels with the aim of going onto uni.

 

But even better than his academic progress, he has become a confident, articulate (sometimes too articulate! ) young man who is fantastic company (still has his moments! ) and one cool dude!! He travels home every other weekend by himself on the train, which involves a number of changes, buys and cooks his own food when he is at college, and enjoys his social life with a group of good friends. And best of all, he is so much happier at home, and it is lovely to look forward to seeing him

 

You will have so many mixed emotions, Hev, if Steve does go away to school <'> <'> I got through by telling myself that I was giving him back his future...and I know now that I have been absolutely right in that. We have had some 'wobbley' moments along the way, but have been so lucky with the fantastic school and college staff, who really do care about our children.

 

Take your time looking at schools, and visit as many as you can. My LEA has a lovely Out of County Placements Officer, who talked to me endlessly as I was so worried. She told me that when I visited the right school for my son I would 'just know'...I thought she was bonkers, but in actual fact she was absolutely right!

 

Good luck, and it's great that you have the backing of your son's professionals, so fingers crossed <'>

 

Bidxx

 

My son will probably read this and then post about how much he hates his college!!

[hev]

if he goes to residential,do the lea provide transport and do they come home every weekend or does it depend where he goes?are there a lot of residential schools about?

[bid]

Hi again!

 

The LEA should supply transport, and schools tend to have different routines for going home. At his special school, my son could have come home every weekend, but because it was a 3 hour journey, he opted to come home every third weekend. At his college everyone comes home each weekend.

 

I have PM'd you with the names of a couple of educational groups that have quite a few schools for AS and related needs.

 

Bidx

[hev]

bid

[witsend]

Good luck Hev, I looked at a residential school for my lad and although I decided it wasn't right for him at this time it did look fantastic. I felt really awful at the time for even considering it and a few people around me made some comments which made me feel worse . But it's not their lives is it?

Now I think if it's right for your son, you and your family you should go for it. Having read your posts in the past I know you have had (and are having) some tough times. Maybe this will be a way forward, best of luck with it.

Luv Witsend..

[Kazzen161]

Re: transport - it depends on your County. Ours supplies transport if the school is classed as weekly or fortnightly boarding, but not if it is classed as termly boarding (even if the child does actually come home every other weekend!).

 

There are quite a few residential schools around - run by independent groups or by NAS, etc. They all have different ethos's, so you do need to go and visit and ask lots of questions. I visited more than 20 and only one was exactly right for my son. Some of the schools are weekly boarding, some are fortnightly, some are termly (but this may mean the children come home every fortnight, every three weeks or only at half/end of terms). There are also 52 week placements.

 

Karen

[Kathryn]

Good luck, hev.

 

I visited the school Bid's son was at as we were considering it for L. There was a lovely atmosphere - I walked in and thought "these people understand everything".

 

Take your time, think about it and as others have said, visit some schools and see what they have to offer. It's a tough decision but I'm sure you'll make the right one in the end. <'>

 

K x

[JsMum]

Just to let you know that I am researching residential school for J when he goes to secondary school, as I know he will find it very difficult in a large comp school, there will be soo many other difficulties for J.

 

Does any one here know what extra skills the teachers will have in a residential school?

 

will they have training in AS/ADHD/ASD/DYLEXIA/DYSPRAXIA

 

will they have specialist skills and experience?

 

what makes a special school better than a normal secondary school?

 

What kinds of benefits does the child recieve if they go to a special school?

 

Is it these?

 

1-1 support, small groups, individual learning programme, therapies, social and emotional support.

 

For J he needs a wholelistic aproach, looking at all areas of his development, as well as his education and this is why I am looking at a Special school as I am hoping this is why special schools are more able to support children with special needs.

 

would like some feedback, and what to look out for to ensure it is a good special needs school?

 

JsMum

[Kazzen161]

The skills depends on the school - most of the ones I looked at were specialist schools for asd - T's school specialises in AS and ADHD. They often employ their own OT and Salt and sometimes psychologists, so the children may get regular input from those.

 

The care staff usually have a role in helping children to develop their life, independence and social skills.

 

In many cases the child is less likely to get 1:1 in a specialist school, because with the small classes, etc they don't need it. The schools are more likely to use workstations and TEACCH strategies.

 

There is a sheet on www.oaasis.co.uk about things to look for when looking at schools.

 

I can only stress again, that the schools vary a lot - some schools had dormitories, in others each child had their own room. Some were like a typical boarding school, others were very homely. Some schools are very secure (if your child is liable to run away), some are not.

 

There is a programme on BBC1 at 9.15am on Tuesday "Nobody's Normal" that is looking at residential schools.

 

 

Karen

[Bagpuss]

Hev <'> <'> <'> No experience of residential schools I'm afraid, but wanted to offer some support and let you know I'm thinking of you <'>

[hollie]

hi,

 

My daughter will be attending a residential asd school soon, its great, u have the backing of professionals, i in the end had to go to SENDIST,as not every one was convinced, even though we had the backing of the Lea educational psychologist.

 

As said earlier, the way i see it,is giving my daughter back her future, it is not a decision any parent take lightly. you are doing it for your son's precious well being.

 

Our daughter school is quite near, so that will help us bring her home and visit often, if possible see if u can find a school closer to you, for access sake. however u have to find a school that will meet his individual needs primarily first.

 

Wishin u good luck in finding the right school for your son.

 

Hollie

[butterfingersbimbo]

<'> <'> <'> chic!!!!