Restaurants

[V1971]

Do you eat out with your child/children? My 3 year old son (AS) doesn't eat the same food as us and does not cope well in public places, he cries the minute we go through the door, he does the same when we go to friends' houses.

Outings are very stressful for the whole family. My inlaws are disappointed that we're not going to FIL's birthday party at a restaurant. We'd have to drive 2 hours to get there! They don't seem to understand. I have been having sleepless nights at the thought of us having to go. Luckily my husband agreed to go on his own.

I'd love to hear about other people's experiences.

[PW66]

Hiya,

C is now 9 and still the only place I take him to eat occasionally is MacDonalds on a quiet Sunday, but at one time I couldnt even do that with him. He's never been particulary keen at eating out of his house, and even going to Nannas, he very rarely eats anything, he would much rather wait until he got home. I can very rarely eat in the same room as him, the smell of 'normal' food upsets him greatly, and the mere thought of baked beans or tomato ketchup is enough to start a tantrum, and distresses him tremondously.

Also the world food aisles in all the supermarket upsets him too, he walks down them (because he has no choice!) with his nose plugged, and whinges and cries until we've moved a couple of aisles down!

 

Paula

[V1971]

Thanks Paula, glad to hear someone understands. If only my inlaws did the same....

[dooday24]

i just find he wont sit still and never can find him anything he will eat so dont bother much i just end up stressed and so does he and just seems like a waste of money he would rather be at home with his choc sarnie

[Bagpuss]

Our youngest dd had similar difficulties at that age. She is 6 now, and copes alot better. Restaurants were a no go area for us, even eating out in a pub was awful. She would find MacDonalds ok, but even then she would wander around, or run around, constantly want to see the toilet etc, so if I had the other kids with me, it was difficult. As I said though, she finds it less difficult now, and we can eat at pubs etc. Not sure I'd attempt a restaurant though, especially if it were formal. We have given weddings etc a miss in the past if it involved a sit down formal meal.

Edited December 27, 2006 by Bagpuss

[loulou]

Hi,

 

Kai is 8 now and i hardly ever take him out to eat because it's so stressfull. Even now he still fidgets and says inappropraite things. We've been to those "Beefeater" type places a few times, which are much less formal and a bit more child friendly. Saying that though, the last time we went there was a sign on the door saying that they do not tolerate "naughty" behaviour from children!

 

I always try to avoid family get-togethers. Last year was my Nan's 90th, so i made the effort to go. It was in a function room at a pub. Kai was stressed out big time (i only got him there because i bribed him with a train ride!) . He got himself in such a state that he stood in the middle of the room and screamed. The whole place went very quiet. Since then though, my family have been much more understanding about Kai's AS.

 

I don't blame you for not wanting to go to your FIL's do. After 2 hours in the car i don't expect your little one will be up for sitting quietly at a table (I know Kai wouldn't be).

 

Loulou xx

[openyoureyes]

HI all

 

My AS son who is now 12 (going on 23!!) still finds the whole idea of food let alone restaurants really traumatic, so much so, we very rarly take him as its not worth putting him through the stress of it all. He has very high sensitivity to smells so taking him into anywhere with food is a no go area for him. We get by at home as he will eat on his own or he can sit with our youngest ASD son, but apart from that he finds the whole foodie issue a problem. He has always been the same its not just something that has got worse the older he gets (thought he may have grown out of it!!).

 

He tells us that the food stinks and the way people (including us) eat is discusting and it makes him feel sick. When he was younger he did used to shout at people to close there mouths etc, but now he tries to keep this in and will either look at the ceiling or the floor if he is put in that situation.

 

Oh well, we cope with it now but it has been difficult, always think of how your child is feeling in the situation rather than how you think they should be behaving. I love seeing other kids enjoying sitting at the table in a restaurant with there mum and dad, but its not to be so we just get over it, even Christmas day when I would have loved him to sit with us, we all sat round the table with grand parents etc and he just sat in the living room eating on his own. I used to feel quite sorry for him not being able to join in, but in truth he likes his own company when eating anyway.

 

Must go now as he is hovering round the computer, eager to get on it (as usual)

bye for now and hope this helps

[helenl53]

I don't know if this will help - but we tend to eat in restaurants such as Harvester at around three in the afternoon when it is quieter. We also ask for a booth which helps with J's difficulties with seeing people eat disgustingly or being watched himself.

 

Because he is concerned that he will get germs from other people breathing or spitting on buffet food, I have shown him how to 'turn the food over' so that he gets it from the bottom and is less likely to be contaminated!

 

He does like to eat out but I wonder why we bother as he becomes very agitated but tells us he has really enjoyed it! Cutlery flies all over the place and he becomes very loud and screetchy but I keep telling myself that we have to persevere as he may take a girl out on a date when he is older! Life skills and all that malarkey.

 

Love

 

HelenL

[MichelleW]

I've only ever taken mine to macdonalds. I keep meaning to try pizza hut, but every time I've looked in, it's always been too busy so opted for take away instead. But my main problem at the moment is my 2 year old - who won't sit still for very long.

[mossgrove]

We do McDonalds or Pizza Hut.

 

Pizza hut works well for us because

 

We always get there as soon as it opens so it it not too busy

 

The children know what they are going to eat

 

It's informal so it matters less if one or more of the children plays up

 

The staff are amazingly tolerant of the things out children have got up to over the years

 

The food arrives quickly!

 

Simon

[oxgirl]

My son is 13 and doesn't cope well with eating out. We've taken him on a couple of occasions to Pizza Hut with family, and it hasn't been too bad, but he's very impatient and gets very stroppy because of the wait for the food. When the waitress arrives with our order, he'll very loudly huff and puff and exclaim "FINALLY!" very loudly.

 

The other major problem with taking him out to eat is that the foods he'll eat are VERY limited and have to be presented very particularly. He'll eat pizza at home, but only a particular kind and it has to be cut very neatly into small squares for him. This is impossible in Pizza Hut and so he won't eat pizza there, but he will nibble on some potatoe wedges and chicken nuggets. He likes the ice cream as well. On the whole though, it's not a very enjoyable experience for any of us when we try to take him out to eat. Come to think of it though, the only place that he does enjoy eating out at is our local town's bakery, which has a sit-down area and does nice sausage rolls, we are regulars there.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide re. your meal out. If you do decide to go, I'd advise taking lots of toys and books to keep your little 'un entertained whilst waiting for the food to arrive. When J was little, if we ever went to a wedding or anything like that, we'd take our own little packet of cut of finger food for him to nibble on whilst no-one was looking! <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[reuby2]

We have found a big difference as time has gone on, at first eating out was a nightmare and we weren't able to do it as a family, even earlier this year. But the last month or so, my son has really suprised us and has eaten out with us without a fuss and i would even go so far as to say he enjoyed it !! In fact yesterday as we were passing Pizza Hut he said " too bad we can't go to Pizza hut today" . He was now 8 (in october) and has really changed in the last couple of months, it has helped me to be slightly more positive about the future. His behaviour this CHristmas (in terms of going out and visiting people, eating out etc) has been wonderful.

Also i have tried to be firmer in terms of we ARE going out, or you ARE going to stay with Dad for an hour (whether you like it or not) and although initially he has a tantrum and tries to stop us, he is accepting it far quicker.

<'>

[butterfingersbimbo]

it depends what kind of phase el is in.....now she is on her risperdal tho life is much calmer.....so yes i would probably take el out to eat now, in fact we went for a pub lunch for my nephews birthday and she was the best behaved, but the answer would be very different if she wasn't on those little red pills.....

 

what a shame the in-laws are not very understanding.....