School Refusal

[KarenM]

My DD(12) is now at her 3rd high school . It is a mainstream with a social and communication unit . She now says she wont go there as she hates it . She says she does not like anyone there , and I have to try and get her out of the door kicking and screaming . I am really fed up of this cr**P . Any one else had problems like this.

 

Karen

Edited January 7, 2007 by KarenM

[reuby2]

I'm sorry , i have no experience, i'm sure someone else will, but sending you <'> <'>

Do you know any of the other kids parents who could perhaps help her get to know some of the kids better?

I don't know, just my son was very upset at school last year and we had to intervene and "contrive" a few social events with some kids from his class, it did help. <'> <'>

[JsMum]

You need to contact the Education welfare and ask to talk to the manager, they are usually the most understanding, explain that she wont go and ask for support, there may be some support with transport and looking at why she is finding school so much destressing, it could be she is been bullied, or school work is too hard, that social issues are difficult, anything really.

 

They may provide her with a school councillor, a mentor and further referrals once she is back in school.

 

If you leave her to get on with not going it will leave you in trouble with the welfare who may look at fines and penalties, so you contacting them now before unathorised days are due is the best way to show that you are a parent who does want their child at school, there is things the welfare can do to get your daughter back in education, it may be that a part time table be in place and an external placement somewhere else like a college placement.

 

The welfare officer will also explain to your daughter the consequences if she doesnt go to school.

 

However I am sure there is a real reason to why she wont go and that the school can help to sort it out so she can return.

 

If she really is showing real concerning behaviour then visit your GP.

 

If in the morning she isnt going to go into school notify the school and explain she is refusing but you are dealing with this issue and contacting the Educational Welfare Department to try and get to the bottom of what is going on for her and she will return as soon as possible.

 

 

JsMum

Edited January 7, 2007 by JsMum

[KarenM]

She is under a psychiatrist and will be starting cognitive therapy soon, if they have enough staff with medication as second choice . She does get teased by idiots regularly ,I tell the school about it and they are helpfull . But now she just says I am not going and starts screaming and swearing when I mention school . I never thought to try the education welfare people I think I will give them a ring tommorow .Thanks for the support.

Karen PS I dont know any of the other parents

Edited January 7, 2007 by KarenM

[KarenM]

Sorry I posted twice by accident .

Edited January 7, 2007 by KarenM

[annie]

Hi Karen,

 

I agree with JsMum, try Education Welfare, they can be very helpful.

 

Our son had never been able to cope with school from day one, so we managed to get an education package that met his needs, it took a big fight, but we got it. He ended up learning in a small group setting as part of Education Other Than At School. If your daughter isn't coping at school it's worth finding out what other options there are.

 

Annie

xx

[bikergal]

<'> Hi, can't really offer any additional advice, but do try ed welfare. My dd (13) is in her second mainstream high school after awful school phobia and refusing to attend because of this. I used to have enormous battles with her to get her there but after one especially bad one I decided not to do that anymore as she clearly was distressed at the thought of being there. I found ed welfare in my area not that good, and if I hadn't found a school for her I think she would still be at home. My gp refused to help too.

 

But that's just my experience. I am waiting for statutory assessment to be completed at the moment , as although she is now attending school she badly needs support. Good luck with ed welfare, and keep communications open with the school too. That always helps, then everyone involved is aware of the situation. Take care. Let us know how you get on.

 

<'>

[lynyona]

hi i went through this one when my son was in the last year at school.He took into his head he wasnt going to go for what reason we never did find out.He didnt go for three weeks i rang the school and they said basically not a lot, the friday iof the second week his teacher and the schools senco(he went to special school)came to my house and they talked to him and he promised them he would be in school on Monday by did he fool them lol.He didnt go on the wednesday the headmistress and his class teacher came they talked to him on their own and she came out of the room and said he s agreed to coming to school with us which he did and his form teacher dropped him of home as his transoport wasnt picking him up and his teacher said i ll see you tomorrow then,well the next morning he got up and he copuldnt wait to get to school and he didnt have a day off after that.Even his bus escort couldnt persuade him to go i yelled screamed and shouted at him threatened to send him in his pjs then they would all laugh at him but nothing.The thing that annoyed me most was the senco wrote in a report that the situation wouldnt have gone on so long if we had handled it better the cheek of the woman i rang school for help at the time and they just sort of said never mind. Hopefyully you will get a solutionto the problem

 

 

lynn

[KarenM]

Thanks for your replys i really appreciate them I have managed to get her to school the last two days by taking her into school myself, instead of her getting the transport provided for her .

Karen