I am new and need direction!

[savagevixen]

Hello everyone,

I am wondering if anyone can provide me with any information or links to help with my son's statement. He was diax with ADHD in Aug 05 and had a (private-but supported by NHS) Asperger's diax in Nov 07. We allowed a trial of ritalin (prior to realising he had ASD), which the school found delightful but left him with anxiety, poor appetite, terrible rebound effects. School (surprise) termed him a naughty boy and the head, who is retiring has subjected him to 2 years of misery (unintentionally, but refusing to beleive his diax). He is 8 on Fri. Since Sept he attended school 9-12. In Oct excluded for 8 days. Returned under behavioural support for 1hr45mins a day. This lasted 5 weeks, then upped to 3 hours before xmas-this was with 1-2-1 support. Returned thurs 4th Jan, into class with newly employed LSA. Excluded Fri at 10.10am as had meltdown in class when they asked him to leave, he was loving it and refused, physically removed from class by staff.

I am in possession of provisonal statement (have extended the return) He has been awarded (.8) YEH however it is very wishy washy and non-specific. It was rushed through in 11 weeks. We want him to go to special school that can meet his needs. As he has threatened to kill himself 3 times the doctor has signed him of for a few days and we will nt allow him to return as he is so unhappy. (School said he could have one last chance.) Currently the Ed Welfare Officer is applying for Link Ed. Head phoned me today really hacked off as she wants him back in school-but how can we let him be their guinea pig?. I explained that the medical team generally were supporting the link ed and she was clearly angry (Does she not want the best for him? It is all about her and not his REAL needs.

 

What do I write and how do I do it?

 

There is obviously much more to this story! (Including several unofficial exclusions and my son being seperated from his class for long periods) School clearly had no support and for him it came too little too late. In the days since his 2 day exclusion -and his non-return to school he has been so much calmer and tried really hard to manage his (at times very violent and aggressive) behaviour. I really need advice and support of what is right, and the correct way to do things.

 

Forgot to mention he is extremely high functionning and this is why the school felt he was so capable and bright and just messing around. He has not done any real work since March.

 

Many Thanks in advance

Vicky

Edited January 17, 2007 by savagevixen

[Bagpuss]

Hi Savagevixen,

 

Big welcome to the forum. I'm sure you will get some sound advice.

 

Take care

[annie]

Hi Vicky,

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

I know it doesn't help, but I could have written your post. We went through exactly the same .

 

If you haven't already, please contact IPSEA. They are busy, but keep trying, they are excellent.

 

You say the doctor has signed your son off. If your doctor is supportive, could/would they write a letter stating that your son cannot attend school due to stress ?? If they would, ask for two copies, keep a copy for yourself in case the school/LEA give you any problems. Don't de-register your son from the present school, if you do the LEA will not be obligated to educate him.

 

My son was never able to cope with mainstream school. IPSEA helped us get an education package that met his needs (small group learning). I wish we'd known about it years ago.

 

Annie

xx

[JsMum]

Please read cats post as well, as it will help you see that councils are breaking the LAW with SEN children.

 

Please dont give up, that is what they want you to do,

 

They only are interested in the attendance, for their attendance records! its disgusting with the way your school have behaved and I with drew my child from a school that was similair, you see if the school can suggest that your child has no disabilitiies then they can miss the support out, and spend the money on something else they have their minds on.

 

its pure selfishness and they are really letting down children who are going to be in the system years later in the system throw the damage it causes.

 

Ring ipsea, and get a support package that suits and meets the needs of your child and family.

 

My sons behaviour was worse than ever when the school didnt recognise, meet or support him, now with new school, new understanding and support and a statement of need he is more settled at home, and we are having a relationship we both deserve, he still has major difficulties but we listen and support him and at school we work together.

 

Some schools are an absalout embarrassment!

but there is some out there doing a fantastice job where teachers and head teachers Do want the Best for Our Children!

 

Dont give up, fight, all the way, go all the way too, tribunal, and tribunal if you have too.

 

Could you consider changing his school for now?

 

JsMum

[tinytrace]

hi

ive not post on here for a long long time now for a variety of reasons (although i hope to be back more now) and i cant really give you any practical advice but just had to say please dont let them do this to your son they did it to mine (high functioning aspergers also) and he has not had any formal education for 5 years now

 

it started when he went up to senior school in the same way yours has (junior school was fantastic and really worked with us) seniors cut his hours to 3 a day then excluded again and again then cut time again to 1 hour in the "unit" a room they go to if they are naughty his TA they had given him even had the cheak to come to us and say he is evil and manipulative and that he hadnt got aspergers at all,

we argued with them and managed to get the time raised to 2 hours but then there it stayed for the next year and they never gave him work saying that when they tried he would "kick off" so all he did was draw

 

every time we had a review they promised to raise his hours and intergrate him into classes and then kept saying he wasnt ready and still were not giving him work so fianaly when he was 13 he dicided he wasnt going anymore and it didnt matter what we did we couldnt get him there

 

through all this we kept going to the lea and they wouldnt help and wouldnt even give us any home ed hours as he had a school placement

 

after a year of him being at home after lots and lots of discusions and arguments between us and no education except what i could get him to look at on the internet he told me he would go back to school on the condition they gave him proper work to do and maybe tried to get him back into classes so he can hopefully do his GCSE's

 

we went to the school and talked to them and they agreed to give him work but told us they could not get him into classes as the teachers refused to have him there!!!!!

 

so back he went (by this time he was 14) and they did give him work for the first couple of weeks then they stopped and eventualy after they kept giving him excuses and eventually coffessed they had no intention of helping him get his GCSE's he gave up again and took himself out of school and has dicided he will go to college and this time he has my suport as i am totally disgusted with the school

 

he is now 15 and at last we managed to sort out a muti angency meeting (at earlier ones our invite got 'lost' in the post ) conextions and the education psych have dicided to help him and they are in contact with the college to try and get him in as soon as possible

what was fantastic was my son who normally wont say a word in these meetings sat there and told everyone how bad the school has really been and was very clear about the fact he wanted to take his GCSE's and that the school stopped him, the outcome is that he will be getting a private tutor in languages that he wants to do payed for from his statement money (hehe was the school head of SEN green to hear shes losing his money )

 

what also made me angry was that we had a visit from education about my other NT son who goes to the same school because he was arriving at school late and after we had dealt with that we were chatting and i said to him that i had expected them round sooner because of the amout of time the older son had off and the guy hadnt heard anything about him, he even when back to the offices and checked and we found out the school had been making out he was there as he has a statement for full time assistance with a named TA and they dont want to lose the money

 

anyway sorry i have been rambling on the point im trying to make is the school will take the easiest option and it is our kids who suffer

please dont let this restricted timetable go on too long and i hope you can get him somewhere that he can be happy and settled

good luck and take care

 

trace xx

[pumpkinpie]

Trace I am disgusted with the way school treated your son. Have thought about making a formal complaint to the lea and school governors about this. Lets face it it s theft they manipulated the system by saying your son was in school and used money thrye were not entitled to. If we did that we would be taken to court.

 

I just wouldnt let this lie - how many other kids are schools doing this to and get away with it because we are too brow beated as families to say anything about it?

[tinytrace]

hi pumpkin

 

yeah i had thought about putting in official complaints but its just more hassle

 

the lea's stance is its out of their hands because the school is willing to give him a place and its his fault hes not accessing it (even if it is just 2 hours segregated) and the school goveners say all statement money is spent on the special needs department which happens to cover him too

 

they just all stick together and it makes me

[nellie]

Welcome to the forum Vicky,

 

I agree I think you should contact IPSEA for advice. Sadly I think you're story will be familiar to lots of parents. You have come to the right place for information and support.

 

Nellie xx

[nellie]

tinytrace, it's lovely to 'see' you again. <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I'm saddened and angry to hear your update. I'm so sorry, it can't have been easy.

 

I made a complaint about my LEA to my local ombudsman (many moons ago). IPSEA advised me to do this and took me through the whole process, I won my case. I wanted to ensure my LEA never made the same mistake with anyone else, and as far as I know, they haven't.

 

You have nothing to lose by phoning or writing to IPSEA for advice.

 

I hope you will stay around, there's lots of help and support here.

 

Love your avatar.

 

Nellie xx

 

Tracy,

 

This is the link to the Local Government Ombudsman

http://www.lgo.org.uk/work_lgo.htm

Edited January 27, 2007 by nellie

[tinytrace]

hi nellie

lovely to be back i must say i missed you all so much <'> <'> <'> and hopefully this time its for good although im moving soon due to other family hassles so will probably be gone for a couple of weeks then unless i get access elsewhere lol

 

as for the IPSEA i will definatly give them a try when i have got moved and settled so thanks for that

take care and i'll 'see' you around the boards

 

trace xx

[jen]

Hi Vicky,

 

Welcome to the forum. You have to remember that the statement is his passport to a decent education. Get that right and the majority of your problems will go away. You do need professional help.

 

Regards

 

Jen

 

 

 

 

[

Edited January 27, 2007 by jen

[savagevixen]

Thanks so much for your responses and sharing your lives with me, I really appreciate it. I never realised how little real help there was for our kids. It is a good job my provisional statement came through on December 22nd. If it had been earlier I would have just signed it and sent it back. They were all very careful to not let me realise how important my role was in completing the parental response. We withdrew him from school and his behaviour has improved enormously. He is so much calmer and easier to manage. An appointment yesterday with the child Psych, led to her agreeing that he shouldn't be at the school he had been attending, but she wouldn't sign him of on medical grounds, as he was in her opinion needing to go to school, but it had to be the right school. And so it bounces back and forth between Medical-Education. We named a special school in the end, as his experiences in mainstream have led to such a major breakdown, we feel he needs the nurturing and support that only they can provide.

The head teacher of his current school, sent a letter that was intimidating and bullying, trying to force us to send him back in. She is going to wish she had not.

And so now we wait to see what the LEA make of our response.

Hope all is well with everyone

Vix

[curra]

Hi Vicky

 

Your posts remind me too well of my son's own school experiences! He too is very high functioning and his dx was denied and ignored time and time again at school. After his statement I moved him to a mainstream school with an ADS unit where he feels happy and receives lots of support. But still there are staff who fail to understand what Aspergers is. Last week he missed half a lesson because he stayed in the library unaware that the hour had begun (they don't ring a bell) because he doesn't wear a watch. A TA came looking for him and told him off for not wearing a watch then she took him to the classroom where he had left his books and made him go in to collect them despite him saying that he didn't want to face the class. Well, it's something I'll have to mention to the school. But what I want to say is that, although no school is absolutely perfect, the right school where staff have appropriate training will make a big difference to your son. What your son's school is saying about having to go back is rubbish. If your son is so stressed that he is afraid of going to school, he has school phobia and that is NOT truancy. I advise you too to contact IPSEA about it.

 

Curra