We may be on the move

[Bagpuss]

Our youngest dd (6) ASD is now beginning to complain more and more about the stairs in our house...she has muscular dystrophy too. We've been putting off any thoughts of moving for a while, but feel now would be a good time to seriously look into it, before she deteriorates any further. We could have our present house adapted, but really don't want to live with a thru floor lift etc,or stay in our present area of town long term so we're going to try and buy a bungalow. Unfortunately will mean a move out of town, as the house prices here are rocketing, and will mean buying another car because I'll have to run the kids to school each day.......3 kids, at 3 different schools, in 2 different towns....hey ho...keep me busy at least Wanted to know if anyone had found moving difficult with their child on the spectrum and if so, what did you do to help them adjust. I think dd will be absolutely thrilled just to live in a house with no stairs, and is hoping we may find a caravan to live in permanently But we'd rather be aware of any possible difficulties, should they arise.....other than both dd's (eldest dd is 9 AS) may have to share a bedroom for the first time.........any threads of sanity I may of been holding onto will be lost..........actually, that thru floor lift is sounding more appealing..... Will keep you posted

Edited February 8, 2007 by Bagpuss

[oxgirl]

Sounds like you've got a lot on your hands there, Bagpuss. Good luck with the initial house-hunting and starting the process. <'>

 

We moved four years ago and it was probably equally stressful and enjoyable for Jay. He was quite keen on the idea of moving, we bigged up all the advantages, etc. etc. When we did finally move in, though, we did find that he was very insecure for quite a while. If he was upstairs and he heard me opening the utility room door, he'd come running down in a panic wondering where I was off to and I couldn't go out into the garden to hang washing or into the garage without him getting very worried and wanting to come with me to keep an eye on me and make sure I didn't disappear. This did did last a while, but he got over it and was overall very excited by the whole process. He loved looking round houses, but he seemed to think we'd buy every one we saw and was probably quite confused, but he did cope well on the whole.

 

Best of luck. Keep us posted. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Bagpuss]

Thanks Mel....I'm not brave enough to take youngest dd bungalow hunting with us......lots of horrific scenario's running thru my head now......nooooooooooo Unsure the owners would be used to her line of questioning....

[mossgrove]

Preparation is the key.

 

Take pictures of your new house when you agree to buy it and show them to DD, involve her in picking her bedroom, exaplain as much as possible about what is going to happen etc.

 

I am not going to tell you it isn't going to be stressful, any house move is stressful and having Autistic Children doesn't make it any easier. But preparation can keep the stress to a minimum.

 

We moved 2.5 years ago to a more suitable house, and while it was stressful for all concerned we have never regretted it.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Simon

[TheNeil]

So does this mean that you'll have to let Mr Bagpuss start looking in estate agents' windows?

[jayne]

Hi, we moved 3 months ago now we thought it would be a complete nightmare but Louis has been brilliant and adapted so well, we moved from a terraced to a detached bungalow due to the fact that he wouldnt go upstairs on his own at all because he was scared. Lucky for us we only moved 5 miles up the road in Bedfordshire, we found the bungalow was what we could afford but the location is right off the A1 but as it had a driveway it wasnt literally sitting on it, so we took lou and he loved it and has been a changed little boy since he goes to the toilet on his own and plays in his room on his own with his games(which he wouldnt do at all before) and the change at school is great to so we know we made the right decision. Fingers crossed yours does to.

Jayne xx

[Blue-Kat]

we moved 1.5 years ago and did pretty much as other posters have suggested, brough our AS on as many visits as possible, drove passed frequently, made a big deal of benefits to him ( getting his own room ). on moving day we made L as comfortable as poss, he stayed by my side all day, and we kept his special stuff with him, and he felt involved with special responsibility for helping care for the pets, which gave him a focus.

amazingly he slept in his new room the 1st night.

 

8 weeks after the move he had a pretty bad depressive episode, we probably took our eye off the ball and weren't giving him enough attention. so watch out for the period after the move.

 

it was hard work, but absolutely no regrets, L loves our new home in every way.

 

I think the NAS has a downloadable leaflet on moving.

hth

-

[Bagpuss]

So does this mean that you'll have to let Mr Bagpuss start looking in estate agents' windows?

 

You are in BIG trouble TN .....he's been sulking since we last met.....and guess what arrived today.....a flipping huge TV It's giving me a headache... Mr Bagpuss is dangerous while he's at home.....the sooner he recovers from his hernia op and goes back to work the better Yes, he's also having a ball touring the estate agents........ ......oh, and he's full of plans of surround sound , burglar alarms ......what he'll do when he has his own garage .......we've not even viewed a bungalow yet

Edited February 8, 2007 by Bagpuss

[Bagpuss]

Thanks everyone for your wonderful advice......sounds like preparation is the best way forward I think she's really excited at the prospect of living in a bungalow, and not having to contend with stairs. Will definately let her visit once we've found somewhere suitable and taking piccies is a lovely idea aswell.... <'>

Edited February 8, 2007 by Bagpuss

[bikergal]

We moved here last year, and I involved both girls with the decision and they came to view several houses with me. The downside about moving here was that they have to share a room as it's only a 2 bed, but they have adapted very well. In fact the move has done us all good as we have an enormous garden (our main reason for moving) and they have a trampoline each (they actually prefer to bounce on the same one ) And it helps if you can see past the awful existing decor etc, I'm having a conservatory put on this year as there is only one decent sized room downstairs, so that will give us more room. Anyway, good luck with your search...

[Bagpuss]

Thanks Bikergal

[TheNeil]

You are in BIG trouble TN

 

I haven't done anything. In fact I've been on my best behaviour for the best part of a week now...maybe

[Bagpuss]

[Kathryn]

I hope you find what you're looking for, Bagpuss. I don't think I've got any good advice to give, I'm hopeless at moving. Thank goodness we haven't had to do it for 10 years.

 

K x

[Bagpuss]

Thanks Kathryn

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I too have been on the hunt for a new house. We live in a mid-terraced house with a postage-stamp back garden, neighbours kids bully my son, neighbours making things downright difficult, etc. After desperately looking for a house for 10 months and having lost out on 4, think we've finally found one! There's a but! ... After having had it surveyed, we've been advised the property is dangerous because the roof needs rebuilt (apart from that, it's perfect)! Still in negotiations with selling agents, as wasn't expecting to fork out an estimated extra �50 - 70k for everything that needs doing to it! I'm going off on one ...

 

I've been trying to prepared Robert by emphasising all the plus points (once it has a roof!) ie attic playroom, large back garden - will get him a trampoline and a treehouse! My plans are to ensure that his bedroom is decorated in the same colour as his current room - either that or involve him in choosing the colour. I guess the main thing is to keep them involved as much as possible and give lots of reassurance. It's a big change for anybody, let alone a child with autism.

 

All the best with your plans.

 

Caroline.

[Bagpuss]

So pleased you've found a house Caroline...I know you've been looking for a long while and had problems with your neighbours. Hope it all goes smoothly for you

[tinytrace]

hi

im just going through the moving thing at the moment (we move in on the 19th)

we have been trying to keep our AS son (15) involved so there are as few suprises as possible and so far it has worked apart from the fact he just found out his new bedroom is smaller than the current one so today he has had complete meltdowns at everyone who speaks to him and is sulking in his room at the moment

still at least he has a week to get used to the idea

 

hope everything goes smoothly for you and you find what your looking for

 

trace xxx

[Bagpuss]

Thanks Trace..hope your move goes well for you