Clare63 Report post Posted February 18, 2007 Hi my name is Clare and I have just plucked up the courage to post a message on this forum. I must say I have been reading and trying to find my way around the site for a while now and think its fab, its so wonderful to see the support you give one another and I hope you will all welcome me into your "family" I hope in return I will be able to give support and share my own experience. My son is almost 12 and was DX with Aspergers on the 5th Jan 07, the whole process took a year to get a dx, originally he was referred with OCD, but I knew in my heart of hearts it was more. At least now we know what we are dealing with and are more equipped to provide him with the help and support he needs as an individual. School is our major issue, he hates it. Tomorrow we are back after half term and I know it will be a nightmare, he will be terrified, extremly anxious and his rituals (OCD) will go into overdrive. On Tuesday I have a meeting with special needs and they want to look at stratagies to help him in the class room and to discuss "social stories" to help me get him into school. Trouble is , without trying to sound too negative, he finds social stories patronizing, he is a very bright and I mean bright young lad (on the National Register for Gifted & Talented Children) so I feel the meeting may be wasted as they appear adament that the stories would work. Sounds to me like they have either just found out about them or been on a training course. Has anyone else got any views/comments on the success or not of "social stories" ??? Also I would appreciate any suggestions to help me support my lad with his anxiety, I just hate leaving him at school looking back at me like a little scared rabbit in a cars headlights ! I am not afraid to admit that I am at quite a low ebb at the moment, even my son's Pych, suggested I might be depressed and saw my GP last week who is to arrange some counselling. I just feel a bit over whelmed and don't really know where to start. Sorry to waffle. Looking forward though to being part of this forum ! Thanks for listening Clare x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loupin Report post Posted February 18, 2007 Welcome to the forum claire it really is fab, cant think of anything useful to say tonight as my brain is pickled from half term and wine therapy!!!! will be sensible tomorrow i hope!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted February 18, 2007 Warm welcome Clare <'> <'> <'> Sounds like you have alot on your plate at the mo, and its no wonder you are feeling low. I began counselling a few weeks back and have found it a huge help and I was scared stiff. You've done the right thing seeking help from your GP and I'm sure you will find this forum a great support too. Take care <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisa35 Report post Posted February 18, 2007 My son also finds the socialstories too young, he is 11,Im sure someone said to me they dont do for all children, but not sure of alternative! If its any consolation by lad hates school too, night before after hols always takes him ages to sleep Lisax Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted February 18, 2007 welcome to the forum claire, sorry have no words of wisdom ,these guys here are wonderful dont know wat id hav done without them lv donnax Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted February 18, 2007 A very big and warm coozy welcome <'> and your post was a lovely introduction so dont be too worried about posting ever again as you have done a wonderful first post. It certainly is a great site empowering us and giving us the tools to help fight for the right support package, as it can be very difficult to get that right, by the sounds of school they do sound like they are trying to help but still need help themselves but its a good start with what they are offering though the social stories could be adapted to appeal to older children, like a computerised version or a drama based play something that could be produced within the school if they did it tackfully. You sound like you have had a really hard time and even though you feel overwhelmed and under pressure its really clear you have a lot of determination and courage within you as you have been very dedicated to finally get the right diagnosis and support for your son, and that takes committment and energy. so well done so far and from what I see all I can see is you have done a really good job and listened to your heart and been a loving mother. The advice about anxiety is what I did is I went on a course for management of anxiety and anger for adults and then modified it for J at home and then we shared ideas on reducing it, a lot of stratagies I have used is physical recreation, breathing exercises, listening to meditation CDs and opportunities to use his creative energy with painting products been available, or drawing, or arts and crafts. having a really structured and detailed routine for morning and evening have been really good for J and lots of evening routines that have relaxing things in like a game together, bath time, supper time, story time all visually displayed on the wall, I hae more ideas but wont bombard you with lots just ask so I will post to you again when you post requesting ideas next time you post as its not as scary as you expect is it. I cant wait to get to chat more and share experiences so do post again very soon. A big warm Welcome Js Mum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elun1 Report post Posted February 18, 2007 <'> Hello Clare It was a brilliant first post as J's mum said, so you need have no fears with posting here again! It's very overwhelming when you first get the diagnosis however long you've known something is wrong. You're doing great - you need to be very patient with yourself as there's a lot to get used to. You're among friends here - this is the most supportive forum I've ever found. I have 2 boys and the youngest (aged 5) is severely autistic. We have our ups and downs and the downs are horrible but there ARE positives. e.g. he has severe learning difficulties so when he does learn something it's amazing - the best feeling ever. Take care, love Elun <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikergal Report post Posted February 19, 2007 Hi Clare <'> you've made the most difficult step in posting for the first time. I still feel a bit like that, it took me ages to actually post something, even now I sometimes take a deep breath then just go for it! Everyone on here is very supportive and understanding so don't be afraid to ask anything. The school issue can be very tiring and can wear you both down, but you've done the right thing in going to your gp. Looking forward to reading more of your posts. Take care <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted February 19, 2007 Welcome to the forum.I'm not sure that a Social story will work.They are meant to be used as a tool to aid social understanding,not as a stick to beat someone who has a particular difficulty.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted February 19, 2007 Hi Clare, Welcome to the forum . I can understand your son finding social stories patronizing, aside from that, I find it difficult to see how the school think that they would help get your son into school anyway . I think it would be more sensible for them to help him deal with his stress/anxiety. Many teachers/schools underestimate how difficult it is for our children in secondary school . My son is 17 and finished with school now, but he was given a card to use whenever he felt stressed in the classroom. He only had to flash the card at the teacher and was automatically allowed to leave the class and go to a 'quiet room'. I must admit, my son didn't always know when he was beginning to feel stressed, but it did help. He also had a staff member that he felt 'safe' with and was allowed to go and speak to them if he was stressed. For our children to succeed in secondary school, there needs to be a good support network in place for them. For us parents, we need support too. You're taking the right steps by seeing your GP and going to counselling. We're always here and understand how you are feeling <'> . Annie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted February 19, 2007 Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone, you have all been so lovely I feel so blessed to have found you all. Your kind words, thoughts and ideas have been an inspiration. Got my DS into school today by 9 O'clock a near record (we did get up at 5.40am and he was still awake at 12 last night !!!) it wasn't easy for either of us but we did it. Did get let down by school as the pre arranged meeting with a TA didn't happen, so had to wait for ther Head of SEN. Just hope his day went well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted February 19, 2007 hello clare <'> <'> so glad you found the forum. i was like you when i first joined,it did seem a bit daunting posting for the first time,now i feel daunted if i dont!! i dont know a lot about social stories to be honest,my son is 13 with aspergers. anyway i look foward to hearing about you and your son,you will get fed up of hearing about my life as i post about it in great detail!!! i feel like ive got lots of agony aunts(and uncles!!) on here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted February 19, 2007 Glad it went well - hope they get the TA situation sorted out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted February 19, 2007 Hi Clare, I hope your son's first day back at school goes OK. Just wanted to say, welcome. I'm sure you'll soon feel at home here. If you need any help finding your way around, please don't hesitate to ask. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
