The Jacksons

[Gardenia]

Last night on BBC 2 the documentary involving the Jacksons was shown. My MIL watched it and I've had to listen to her comments on how wonderful the boy's mum coped, and she had 4 boys on the spectrum, managed to take them to a martial arts class, etc. etc.

 

I feel like the Pits at the moment, how come some manage remarkably well whereas I feel like its a uphill struggle all the way.

 

Sorry just needed to off load.

Gardenia

[Bagpuss]

My mum rang me last night while we were away to let me know this was on. I'd seen it before, but decided to watch it again. We used to live in the same area as them, so it was nice to see old familiar places....I know that supermarket well

 

DH and I sat engrossed.....she fits so much into a day......but I do think the strain was evident though.

 

I'd never have her energy....even walking around the supermarket she was able to remain calm....I'm not like that, and I take my hat off to her. She's a remarkable lady. As for the nightclub...... I'd be sat in a corner...most probably asleep.....and most likely still wearing my slippers

 

I'm sorry Gardenia that you are getting a negative response from your MIL I havn't spoken to my mum as yet, so unsure what her feelings on it were.

[chriss]

I'm sure I have read somewhere before that Jackie was horrified at some peoples response to her after this documentary as she was seen as a "supermum" who made it look easy. She has said herself that her life is a lot harder than the impression given in this documentary

[Gardenia]

Thanks for that guys.

 

Gardenia

[Clare63]

I agree with Chriss comments, there's a lot more to it than we saw on the TV, which of course would have been edited. But of course that does not help us parents who struggle day in day out with the "helpful advice" (tongue in cheek) from our friends and family. We cope the best we can, love our children dearly, have good days and bad ones.

Don't feel bad, your a great Mum.

Clare x

[hev]

when i watched the programme i thought how well she does,then again if you had seen me tonight i was painting with my 2,we looked like the brady bunch earlier on in the afternoon we were screaming like the dingles everyone has good and bad bits in the day dont they

[Lucas]

The family has since hit a lot of trouble, Luke Jackson unbelievably had to leave school aged 16 with no qualifications even though he'd already wrote and co-wrote two books in his early teens. It's a testament to the massive, behemoth, garagtuanian....LACK of support for families and individuals where Autism is concerned. They appeared on TV in front of millions and still couldn't get a break.

 

I've been attending the Prospects Step Into Work programme in Leeds for the past few months and last week they had an open day with professionals, parents, educators and Autistics in attendence. I was one of those that gave a presentation which I thought went really well, I explained the difference between social skills and communication skills, that the spectrum is not linear and in picture terms resembles a merry-go-round more than anything: we swing and spin but no one can point out where exactly on this merry-go-round we have to stand before we are doing one but not the other. I even managed to squeeze in the Fonz, Chuck Norris and Chewbacca into it somewhere.

 

One of the Prospects workers also spoke. She had worked for Autistic pupils for years in the education system before getting involved in Prospects, she left education because she was so disgusted at the consistent level of non-support. She gave a case example of a boy who required very minor adjustments to relieve very major problems yet the school simply could not make them. In one practical demonstration where she had a list of things needed for educational support for Autistic pupils, she asked me some questions, I think because the audience was already very familiar with me after my earlier presentation(the feedback was very positive during a coffee break, I hadn't felt so happy in a long time). She asked me which of the things on the Powerpoint screen I had recieved at school, I could see only two things out of the eleven on-screen but I pointed out that the way in which they were applied was actually counter-productive. The final one concerned 'Disability Self-Awarness' which is vital for empowering a person to speak for themselves, she and all the other Prospects people already knew the answer: everything I know about Autism I had to find out for myself. No effort was ever made to teach me self-awarness as an Autistic at any point. The conclusion everyone agreed with was that Autistics in education are being failed.

 

It's something that's always lingered in my head: how can it be so hard to educate a group of people who characteristically crave learning throughout their life?

[elaine1]

<'> we are all different people with different ways of coping. Jacqui is an exeptional woman with a quick brain and loads of energy and drive. It is no good wishing we were like her because were not so we cope the best way we can. Blow what others think!

[Kathryn]

Last night on BBC 2 the documentary involving the Jacksons was shown. My MIL watched it and I've had to listen to her comments on how wonderful the boy's mum coped, and she had 4 boys on the spectrum, managed to take them to a martial arts class, etc. etc.

 

I feel like the Pits at the moment, how come some manage remarkably well whereas I feel like its a uphill struggle all the way.

 

Sorry just needed to off load.

Gardenia

 

<'> <'>

 

There's no doubt that Jacquie Jackson has done a lot to raise the profile of ASD. The media tend to portray her as a mum looking after seven children all on her own, which sounds like a spectacular achievement. But I remember reading that her three daughters have played a big part in caring for the boys and helping keep the household running smoothly.

 

Tell your MIL you could accomplish the same things as Jacquie with three extra helpers on hand 24/7, and invite her to be one of them!

 

K x

[TheNeil]

Tell your MIL you could accomplish the same things as Jacquie with three extra helpers on hand 24/7, and invite her to be one of them!

 

But what if she takes the offer up?

[curra]

My MIL watched it and I've had to listen to her comments on how wonderful the boy's mum coped, and she had 4 boys on the spectrum, managed to take them to a martial arts class, etc. etc.

 

I don't have a MIL but I also felt like an awful Mum after watching it. I have only one child and I can hardly cope!. It's not only the portrayal of the Jackson family but most of what is shown on TV about ASD that makes me feel so inadequate. I'm still waiting for a realistic documentary where mums are not Supergirls and ASD kids are not little geniuses who with the "right parenting" can do everything better than NTs.

 

Curra

[bid]

I couldn't agree more, Curra...I feel the same <'>

 

Also, I may be completely wrong, but I sort of got the impression from the Jackson documentary that they might have a little bit of money?? I thought she seemed able to pay for quite a few private therapies, but I could be wrong

 

I know I used to beat myself up when Auriel was little because we could never afford any private treatment...

 

It is very sad though that Luke left school and so on

 

Bid

[oxgirl]

I don't have a MIL but I also felt like an awful Mum after watching it. I have only one child and I can hardly cope!. It's not only the portrayal of the Jackson family but most of what is shown on TV about ASD that makes me feel so inadequate. I'm still waiting for a realistic documentary where mums are not Supergirls and ASD kids are not little geniuses who with the "right parenting" can do everything better than NTs.

 

Curra

 

 

I know where you're coming from, Curra. It must make such a difference if you have a strong network of regular and practical support available. Unfortunately, most of us have to struggle along as best we can on our own, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about that, you're doing the very best that you can. I know it isn't easy sometimes, though. <'> <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[noogsy]

hi i watched jackie and her amazing family the first time round and she is gobsmackingly strong woman.just the fact she had all these babies crikey what can you say.i had three boys and im shot to pieces.she has all her degrees and looks after four boys with huge difficulties...i to want to know what her secret is.she looks great,is cheerfull and funny,and her house was clean and tidy,and she is single.how on earth does she cope????if we are all a bit honest here most of us mums and dads are hanging in bits.between sleep depravation and trying to sort out teachers and schools.dont feel bad about yourself sweetie im with you.i feel a bit put out to.i suppose it would have helped had i had some daughters first...love noogsy

[Flora]

Curra... I feel exactly the same...

 

I can't bring myself to read another book about someone with AS who is also a genious at one thing or another. Bill is brilliant when it comes to what he's interested but sadly what he's interested in isn't going to help him achieve independence or make a living. I worry myself sick about where my boys will be in the future. I feel often like I'm failing him because I can't spur him on... I just don't know how to... I've run out of ideas.

 

Flora X

[Faithnomore]

Curra... I feel exactly the same...

 

I can't bring myself to read another book about someone with AS who is also a genious at one thing or another. Bill is brilliant when it comes to what he's interested but sadly what he's interested in isn't going to help him achieve independence or make a living. I worry myself sick about where my boys will be in the future. I feel often like I'm failing him because I can't spur him on... I just don't know how to... I've run out of ideas.

 

Flora X

 

I got told by the psych that dx'd DS1 that Oxford university is full of autistics when I tried to address the issue of gaining qualifications(the fact that I doubt he'll get any). Unless they bring out g.c.s.e's or degree's in pokemon/runescape/yu-gi-oh/sonic the hedgehog I don't see it happening. I have a cousin that has AS and a savant ability, he has a photographic memory. It hasn't really helped him get anywhere in life though, his obssession was(not sure if it still is)train timetables - he'd have been an asset to British rail!!

[Lucas]

I certainly think it's just as important that Autistic adults who have been described as 'low-functioning' are heard too.

 

Amanda Baggs recently put a video on YouTube and didn't expect many people outside of the Posautive list to see it, but word of mouth hit and it got seen by hundreds of thousands of people. Then a guy at CNN saw it and decided Ms Baggs needed a wider audience and CNN did an interview with her:

 

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/02/21/autis...anda/index.html

 

Her videos on YouTube are now sky-rocketing in views. The video that prompted it all 'In My Langauge' is proberly the most important video on YouTube right now. It's one of those things where everyone who watches it will always remember where they were when they saw it, like 9/11, the fall of the Berlin Wall, JFK's assassination and the moon landing. The video really is that profound, but that might just be my opinion:

 

Edited February 24, 2007 by Lucas

[curra]

I couldn't agree more, Curra...I feel the same <'>

 

Also, I may be completely wrong, but I sort of got the impression from the Jackson documentary that they might have a little bit of money?? I thought she seemed able to pay for quite a few private therapies, but I could be wrong

 

I know I used to beat myself up when Auriel was little because we could never afford any private treatment...

 

It is very sad though that Luke left school and so on

 

Bid

 

I got the same impression, Bid. <'>

I'm not too materialistic, but mind you if I had more money things would look a lot brighter here!

 

 

Curra

[curra]

I know where you're coming from, Curra. It must make such a difference if you have a strong network of regular and practical support available. Unfortunately, most of us have to struggle along as best we can on our own, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about that, you're doing the very best that you can. I know it isn't easy sometimes, though. <'> <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

 

Thanks, Mel <'> <'>

There's some support but my son's phobias are working as an obstacle and that makes matters more difficult. I'm also not very strong, or at least not strong all the time

 

Curra

[curra]

Curra... I feel exactly the same...

 

I can't bring myself to read another book about someone with AS who is also a genious at one thing or another. Bill is brilliant when it comes to what he's interested but sadly what he's interested in isn't going to help him achieve independence or make a living. I worry myself sick about where my boys will be in the future. I feel often like I'm failing him because I can't spur him on... I just don't know how to... I've run out of ideas.

 

Flora X

 

Flora <'>

 

I stopped reading those books because they made me feel too sorry, bad and helpless comparing my son to children who could overcome so much and were able to succeed in life. Good for them! but every person is different.

My son is like yours, brilliant but it's not clear what he'll be able to do with his interests. I think that it's important that our children get the right support at school so that they can develop their interests in ways that they can use at work in the future.This is why IMO it's absolutely necessary that teachers are ASD trained and are willing to differentiate the tasks for them.

We tend to worry a lot about our children, but don't think that you're failing Bill, you're just concerned about him and doing the best you can.

 

Curra

[Bullet]

I know Amanada Baggs from her blog ballastexistenz and a site called autistics.org. She is very clear that she does not see herself as completely lowfunctioning, or completely highfunctioning, but rather that she has strengths in some areas and needs help in other areas. She's great to communicate with, has a fantastic sense of humour and can get her point across really well.

Edited February 24, 2007 by Bullet

[tsmom]

Iv meet Jackie and luke jackson,Jackie talks openly of her struggles and is a mom just like the rest of us .She is open about her lows but she has worked very hard to work with her kids,to undertstand how they think and to praise and nurture their talents.

Jackie told of how Luke had been badly bullied and how she took him out of school at a young age i think she said around 14/15.At 16 he was going to a college with support the support she couldnt get for him pre 16.

The program was not what Jackie wanted it to be,firstly it showed the children as much younger but with the behaviour issues they were experiencing at the time.As we all know a toddler throwing a tantrum is no big deal but when a ten yr old does it people judge.

[butterfingersbimbo]

missed it again.....but a friend of mine texted me the next day to point out that they did the diet change and it worked.......grrrrr

 

wish she had let me know it was on before hand it would have been so much more helpful......

 

and why cant they do degrees in pokemon??? i think i remember hearing they do a course on klingon or something else a bit different?

[David Matthew Baker]

I wouldn't have minded seeing the BBC documentary too. I guess it contains a lot more info than the one that is shown on Teacher's TV. If anyone is interested in seeing the Teachers TV one that is on there website and can be found here:

 

http://www.teachers.tv/video/2915

 

Also read Jacqui's book that I found interesting and approachable. Still got Luke's one to read, it is presently with one of the teacher's from the school I work at. She noticed it when I had it in my folder one day and asked could she borrow it once I'd finished. I decided to lend it to her then before reading it myself. Have enough reading to keep me going till I get it back though. (You can find out more on the books at Jacqui's website: http://www.jacquijackson.com/ )

 

Wish I had Sky too as there are loads of other teachers TV programs I wouldn't mind. There all on the website but the quality is better on the TV. Managed to catch the program above one of the times it was on freeview.

 

Jacqui does seem to do very well, I guess a lot of that comes down to the fact that she seems to have a great attitude. I'm not sure how I'd cope with the pace of her household. Mind you I doubt she could ever say life is boring.

[TuX]

Last night on BBC 2 the documentary involving the Jacksons was shown. My MIL watched it and I've had to listen to her comments on how wonderful the boy's mum coped, and she had 4 boys on the spectrum, managed to take them to a martial arts class, etc. etc.

 

I feel like the Pits at the moment, how come some manage remarkably well whereas I feel like its a uphill struggle all the way.

 

Sorry just needed to off load.

Gardenia

Luke Jacksons mum does say in that [old] documentary something like her family have been very lucky with how high functioning they all are,and that all Autistics-whether they've got the classic,aspergers or PDD type- shouldn't be judged the same because not everyone is at the same level,so people should not ignore what she says and just follow the bits they like.

Edited March 3, 2007 by TuX