Cheesed off

[KateBall]

My son - undiagnosed but am convinced he's aspergers - has been going to Beavers for some time now but the group refuses to put him up to cubs despite him being over a year behind in doing so. So we've had to withdraw him. I only wanted him to go in the first place to get extra social skills but he hated it recently being with kids 2 years younger than him. They say its cos they don't have room for him but the truth is they've put other kids up ahead of him who are younger than him. So we told them they are being prejudiced against him because of his disabilities - which of course they denied. But it really hit home today that he will be up against this sort of prejudice all his life. And it stinks.

[smiley]

<'> <'> <'> <'> I can identify with that feeling My problem at the moment is finding any club that will take my son

 

There's a charity near me who have volunteers who go along to clubs with your child - as a kind of 1:1..... My friends little lad has one and i'm trying to sort something out for my son. Anything like that near you??

Are there any other Beaver/Cubs groups in your area? There are several in mine - some better, and more SN aware, than others. Might be worth asking around...

 

<'>

[KateBall]

<'> <'> <'> <'> I can identify with that feeling My problem at the moment is finding any club that will take my son

 

There's a charity near me who have volunteers who go along to clubs with your child - as a kind of 1:1..... My friends little lad has one and i'm trying to sort something out for my son. Anything like that near you??

Are there any other Beaver/Cubs groups in your area? There are several in mine - some better, and more SN aware, than others. Might be worth asking around...

 

<'>

 

Re the volunteers - nothing of any sort in this area I don't think. There are other groups but not nearby enough - and anyway I've lost faith in any sort of club quite frankly. No one round here has any interest in these children - only the "creme de la creme". If you have any disfunction - it seems you're not worth bothering with. My son got chucked out of the school after hours football because he didn't understand the coach and reacted in the usual way (which they saw as as a discipline issue) so he was the only one who didn't get his football medal at the end of the session. It was their fault for not explaining things properly to a child with special needs - especially communication needs - but no he got the blame. - Prejudice prejudice all the way.

[butterfingersbimbo]

aw that's really unfair on him, shame on them for treating your son like this!!!!

[CarerQuie]

Perhaps it's worth phoning Scouting headquarters.They might know of a more disability friendly group.The Scout group that my son went to bent over backwards.we all agreed that camp would be too much for him but they want him to go for the whole day on the mian day they are away,xx

[Valiant_Skylark]

I recently looked up the website of the Scout Association, Gilwell Park Chingford, E4 7QW, and was really impressed with the amount of information available about how the aim is for scouting to be made accessible for kids with special needs. If you look under the special needs newsletters, for example, you'll find that there is all sorts of advice available to help leaders etc cope with kids with dyspraxia, autism etc.

 

I was specifically looking for advice on how my son could continue to "keep up" with the badges that his peers are attempting. I now know that the awards are there for disabled kids too, and that they can be adjusted so that special needs kids can actually acheive them at their level. It looks like this has to be agreed, though, first.

 

I know that what happens in practice may not live up to the website, but I don't see why people who would like their kids to join and do some sort of awards, but who are being put off by difficulties, shouldn't speak to the special needs part of the Scout Association for advice and support? Perhaps it might help?

 

VS xx

[stressedmumto2]

<'> I think the club are not being very fair to him atall I think I would probab;y try and find a more friendlier/understanding group for him because all this will do is chip away at his self esteem to the point where he will refuse to go.

 

Good luck with finding a more supporting grop if you go down that route? Have you explained to them about your child's difficluties?

[Valiant_Skylark]

Quick link to the Special Needs section of the Scout Association website:

 

http://www.scoutbase.org.uk/ps/sneeds/index.htm

 

VS xx

[KateBall]

Thanks everyone. I'm still seething though. My son has been in the group about 18 months and is 6 months overdue to go up. I could understand a bit of a delay but I now realise they have no intention of allowing him to go up and just want us out. They handled his problems quite well up to now but have seen them get less interested in him lately. He's actually not been bad there at all but he will never be a high enough achiever I suppose and says and does odd things which I think has made him "outside" their normal little group and comfort zone.

I've worked so hard to get him out of the house every week just to go to the blooming thing - you know what its like to get them to get out of the house. And now its all been for nothing.

Anyway the point is - its a Baden Powell group so not part of the main scouting association. I am not going to let this go - and will be tackling them again just to get them to acknowledge that they have been wrong to discriminate. Stuff them - he won't be going back - but I'll get an apology if it kills me.

Thanks for the support - I don't know what I'd do without this forum.

Edited February 27, 2007 by KateBall

[witsend]

Hi Kate - we had a similar situation a few years ago when my son was in Beavers, it really upset me and in the end I just took him out of the group. Looking back I probably should have been braver and tackled them like you are - so good luck with it. <'>

Have to add my son eventually joined a different scout group when he was older and they have been great and he really enjoys it. Makes me think it isn't necessarily the organisation to blame but the various individuals running these groups and their personalities that can make it go wrong for our kids. A little bit of power does seem to go to some peoples heads!

Maybe when you've tackled them and done what needs to be done you could find another group have a good talk with them first and suss out if it's suitable for your boy, it would be such a shame for him to miss out because of the ignorance or others.

Take care

Luv Witsend.

[hev]

i agree with witsend that its probably down to the individuals who run the group,ive had this with steve,he was never made welcome at after school clubs,football/scouts etc,it really hurts dont it.

 

good on you for tackling them about it,let us know how you get on love hev <'>

[zaman]

Have you looked at Woodcraft Folk? Its an alternative kids group that is very inclusive. My kids have been going for over a year and they both love it.

 

http://www.woodcraft.org.uk/

[David Matthew Baker]

If you are after volunteers as well who could possibly be used to accompany your child to Scout's or other clubs check out the NAS Befriending page. They provide volunteers to help parents. You can find out more at:

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=141&a=2313

 

There are quite a lot of locations throughout the UK:

 

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=513

 

EDIT: Also just wrote up some of the other information they sent me in an application pack (I've applied to become a befriender, presently waiting for application to be processed). You can find the additional info. in the following topic:

 

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=11789

Edited February 28, 2007 by David Matthew Baker

[KateBall]

Have written a stinky letter to scout leader and await a reply!!

 

Woodcraft folk sound really good - but we're in the middle of nowhere and nothing like that for miles. Same as the befriending service and no other nearby scout groups. Now regret living in the middle of the sticks! I'm going to try and look for something else though - he quite likes Tennis. There is a local tennis club. Not sure how they'll react to him though.

Thanks for your support.

[pearl]

(((Kate))) just wanted to give you a hug, I cant believe these sorts of things are still happening. J was rejected by cubs 11 years ago, they wouldnt even let him try, a few years later our local Barnardo's project started one up for disabled kids but too late for J, anyway like you said its to help pick up social skills so better to integrate where possible.

 

Hope things work out xx