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Bagpuss

Fear of flying

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I think I've posted on here before about my fear of flying :unsure: Not helped by my addiction to Air Crash Investigation :ph34r:

 

Seriously though, I have flown alot when I was younger, and was in the forces, which obviously entailed flying. Unfortunately I was also in the forces when the Lockerbie air disaster took place, and was part of the search team flown up.

 

Since that time I have struggled to fly, for obvious reasons, although did once or twice afterwards. The older I've got, the more afraid I've become, and I've refused to fly since approx 1991. DH has always wanted to go abroad, but has settled for UK hols for my sake.

 

My mum has now suggested that she and her partner take our kiddies abroad, so they can experience a flight, a new country etc, and it's sort of brought things to a head and made me look seriously at what I'm missing out on because of fear. It's being planned for the half term in October. Unfortunately ds 13 is reluctant. I think he's picked up on my fears over the years, and is upset, believing any plane he gets on will crash. He says he will go if I do :tearful: DH has said if I really can't face it or ds, he will go with my mum , her partner and the girls, so I know I dont' HAVE to go....still, I feel guilty about ds and the fact his is now dealing with my phobia's :(

 

I'd love to conquer this fear, and do feel a certain amount of comfort knowing if I did take the plunge, I'd be with all my family, including my mum....and they are only planning a short flight, Spain or similar, which also puts my mind at ease.......still, I do feel petrified, and would welcome any thoughts, or advice from anyone who has also faced this. I've been told there is a course you can go on, but i expect it would be too expensive :unsure:

 

DH is hoping once he actually gets me on board a plane, and I manage one flight, next year we'll be off to America :huh:

 

I'm also going to discuss it with my counsellor on Friday, and see if she has any suggestions.......she has helped me so much :D

 

Why does that song Ironic keep playing in my head....with the line "he waited his whole life to take that flight, and as the plane crashed down he thought well isn't this nice" :hypno::hypno:

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The way I would tackle any problem like that is just go and do it. I always was afraid of the launch towers at theme parks. One day I was by one and decided oh well I may as well try it. Decided afterwards it was good fun. Your main problem I expect is your memories of what you have seen in the past. Once you do it again hopefully you could lock those memories away and replace them with happy ones of flying. I know if I go and do something quickly that afterwards it never seems as bad as I thought it would. Also statistically your more likely to lose your life in the kitchen, in your car or just crossing the road than in a plane. Not to mention the likes of winning the lottery. Hope you do manage to get over it just so you can go away with your family. Perhaps you should book some gliding lessons or something. ;) It would be a kill or cure method. ;) All the best, David.

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Ok BP what about if you took a short domestic flight first? Just do a short hop rather than go straight for an 8 hour transatlantic endurance marathon. Whatever you do though, you're going to have to go through the 'airport experience' so no just 'jumping on a plane'.

 

If that sounds like too much, what about investigating one of those 'fear of flying' trips that some airports/airlines do? I once looked into these for Mrs Ex-Neil and they basically took off, flew around the airport for a few minutes and then landed.

 

Not only would the flight itself be short (which I'm sure you'd appreciate as you could more easily keep yourself bust by fussing over the family) but you wouldn't have to travel over water or worry about getting stranded in the Himalayas or anything (unless the pilot took a very massive detour).

 

And don't let Mr BP bully you into getting on a plane to the US just because you manage one flight (which I know you will sooner or later) - take little steps and go for the domestic flight, then fly to the continent a couple of times and then go to the US (although why you'd want to go there anyway is beyond me :lol:). Just punch him and say that I said it was OK :devil:

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Thanks guys :D I've been and got the passport forms to arrange passports...thought that would be a painless way to start :lol::lol: I'm slowly coming round to the idea....I think the guilty mother syndrome is kicking in because of ds refusing to fly unless I do.....and I'd hate him entering adulthood terrified of flying and limiting himself like I do :( DH has suggested we fly to London....try a little flight, but I think he's also worried it may be the only time he gets me on a plane...so wants to go abit further :blink: I keep telling myself its the safest way to travel....but when I'm in a car I'm in control (if I'm a passenger, I'm a complete nightmare...slow down, brake...watch out for that sheep in the field a mile away) :ph34r: , and if I'm on a boat I can swim.....trains scare me too, so they don't count.....and I get jittery on a bus wondering how much sleep the drivers had....... :whistle: Am I a lost cause? :wacko:

 

May do a search online to look into courses etc and see what's what.....thanks again :D

Edited by Bagpuss

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My family in America travelled to stay with us, they travelled on September the 11th exactly a year after the 911 attacks, it was my cousin, her husband and her 2 little girls that stayed with us. I asked her weren't you afraid of travelling on the Anniversary of the plane attacks and she said ,No ,because Airport safty is much better now than before plus If anything happened they were together as a family.The following year we travelled out to them and were going to do disneyland in L.A in the middle of the trip, (they live in Idaho).As the time got nearer we went to war with Iraq and the status of travelling to America changed to high alert.

I got so frightened and kept thinking...Is a trip to Disneyland worth it etc etc etc. I worried myself sick but in the end we went, I was anxious on the plane untill we touched down but the feeling did settle and the long and short of it is.........My son loved it, wants to stay with his cousins again, I had a really good time and was soooooo glad I didn't cancel.For me I felt like we took a risk but it was worth it.

 

My best friend has exactly the same fears as you but in the last 2 years she has made the trip to spain twice, each time she has made herself really ill during the experience but took bach remedy, which helped her. Now she doesn't let it spoil her families plans and knows that the fear soon passes and once she has touched down , they have a wonderful holiday and experience. But there is NOOOOOOOOOOO way she will try America because I wanted both our families to go to Florida.It's too long for her. But that's fine, she is happy to do the spain/portugal trip now and her family love it.

 

I hope you can pluck up the courage, I have an anxiety disorder and get sssoooo angry at all the things my anxiety spoils. I'm sure your counsellor will be able to help and put your fear into perspective. >:D<<'>

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No your not a lost cause. I just have been lucky that I have never had any problems or came into direct contact with any form of accidents. I find it hard to fully realise the scale of anything I see on TV so it often doesn't hit home. I can be moved by the TV occasionally but I think with 9-11 it was just so big my mind wouldn't even contemplate it so it has never really worried me. I also have always had an attitude that everything happens for a reason. So far luckily they have all been good in the long term. Even if some seemed really bad in the short. Other times I just get hooked to an idea and run with it.

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Had a quick look online, and the courses are around �200. You learn abit about planes :blink: why you hear the noises you do :wacko: what triggers your fear and the most effective ways of coping with it :unsure: safety, security and turbulance etc. :tearful: ....a captain, doctor and cabin crew work closely with you.....but at the end of the day you go on a short flight :sick: May seriously consider doing one, going to talk to DH about it.......they appear to be run a most main airports......but I'm concerned about doing the course alone as it would entail flying alone without any family with me :( Will have a ponder :unsure:

Edited by Bagpuss

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Hi Bagpuss

i know just how you feel i never flew when i was little and then i decided to go to America when i was 18. it was a nightmare but i dont want to scare you.

Basically I am very scared of flying but i love going abroad too so i just try and look forward to the holiday. We went to Tenerife last year and it was brilliant for us and the kids but i felt on edge for most of the hol thinking im going to have to fly home and it did ruin it a bit for me. Also it was only 2weeks after the terrorist scare at hethrow and we couldnt even take water perfume onto the flight and there was security everywhere. Come to think of it ive only become more scared of flying since 9/11.

Unfortunatley i dont have any advice as i feel the same i really wish i wasnt so scared of flying as i vowed never again after last year but i really want to take the kids to disney world. Have you though about getting the boat to france and maybe driving? Also the south of france is lovely. And the only other thing is im sure if i flew with my Mum i would feel so much better (dont know why i just know i would!!). Hope you can get something sorted then maybe you can give me some advice :lol::lol::lol:

Brooke

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Brooke, come and do the fear of flying course with me.....they do it at Newcastle :ph34r: If we get TOO scared, we can leg it down the pub when no one is looking... :cheers::drunk::wine: I told DH about it today....and after hearing that it costs nearly �200 he said "I could fly you to Paris for the weekend for that".....hmmm....thats a thought B)

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Hi Bagpuss,

I cant say I love flying but I always think if it was that dangerous no one would want to be a pilot or air hostess...ever. Think of all those business people who hop on several planes everyday. Its a means to an end, a few hours of nervous tension and then a lovely holiday.

Loraine xx

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Thanks :D I keep repeating the mantra "judith chalmers...judith chalmers"........ :lol::lol: She must of flown more than anyone else ....and she's still here to tell the tale B)

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Brooke, come and do the fear of flying course with me.....they do it at Newcastle :ph34r: If we get TOO scared, we can leg it down the pub when no one is looking... :cheers::drunk::wine: I told DH about it today....and after hearing that it costs nearly �200 he said "I could fly you to Paris for the weekend for that".....hmmm....thats a thought B)

 

 

:lol::lol: My mum always says flying is the safest form of transport sometimes that makes me feel better!!

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Thanks :D I keep repeating the mantra "judith chalmers...judith chalmers"........ :lol::lol: She must of flown more than anyone else ....and she's still here to tell the tale B)

 

Yeah but look at the state of her skin :lol:

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what about a hypnotist? could they cure your phobia? or maybe take some gaffer tape then your hubby can tape you too your seat and you have to go through with it :lol:

 

or could you drive to spain and let the others fly?

 

i'm sorry i think i have Full Moon Fever...... :ph34r:

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UPDATE...... :D

 

Just got a call from my mum :wub: asking for all the kiddies dates of birth..... :unsure: DH gave her them, and then asked why......... :blink: she admitted she was in the travel agent and had booked us all a holiday for the October half term :o:wub: on a flight :o:o to a villa in Spain :o:blink:

 

 

Don't know weather to give her a huge hug for her wonderful kindness and thoughtfulness :wub:>:D<<'> ....or..... :unsure: .......cry with sheer terror :crying::crying::rolleyes:

Edited by Bagpuss

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At least it means it will be harder for you to back out. I'm sure once your going your enjoy it. Just put it to the back of your mind for now and try not to dwell on it. All the best, David.

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Hi Bagpuss

I would try and get hold of the broucher where your going and have a look at where your going. That always makes me feel better imagining the pool sun etc!!!! Also go on trip advisor and have a look at the things to do in the area. Hopefully this will keep you mind off flying. And it will only be a short flight so im sure you will be fine.

Just keep thinking "Safest form of transport Safest form of transport"

Love

Brooke

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Thanks Brooke and David :D

 

 

Judith Chalmers......Judith Chalmers.......Judith Chalmers........ :lol::lol::lol:

 

 

I'm off over to my mum's this evening, as she is having our eldest dd for the weekend after Brownies, so will know more then :D

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Hi Bagpuss,

 

Every year I hope and pray that my daughter will say she doesn't want to go on holidays to Spain - we go to the same place each year so that she knows exactly where everything is and she loves it (although the week before she's a nightmare but that's a different story). I never worried about flying before the kids - we had loads of foreign holidays - although now I think I could really only manage at the most a very short journey of two hours or so.

 

I am absolutely petrified and every year I go only pure and simple because she wants to go - if she said she didn't want to I'd be over the moon - although I have never relayed my fears to either kids as I'm afraid they'll get the phobia too.

 

The only thing I can say is that I am extremely lucky in that I somehow am able to block it out completely until I'm actually at the airport ready to go. Once I get there is a different story - all the time I need reassurance from hubbie that we are going to survive etc and that we'll be ok won't we - it's almost like if someone else tells me we going to be ok then perhaps we will be!!!! - the worst part for me is when we're flying over the water - I can handle going over land better (!!!!) and the feeling when that plane is coming down to land makes me cry every time........

 

Once I'm on the plane I cannot move my head to the side and struggle to talk because I'm nearly physically sick - but all the time - and I mean all the time all I think about is the fact that the pilot flying the plane and the hostess' on the plane do it day in day out and they wouldn't get on the plane if they thought anything was going to happen - and I just keep thinking that over and over and over - somehow it gets me through - just about - I can't say it get's any better - every year - it's exactly the same - but each year I get through it.

 

A friend of mine who is also petrified - flew last year to Paris for the first time since she was young - she too found it so so hard - but she did it - we kept texting each other on and off all the way through and I was so proud of her when she did it.

 

I really really hope you manage to conquer this fear - because no-one can understand unless you've been there - my hubbie is really supportive and knows how scared I get - but the only advice I can really offer is just to keep thinking about those hostess' and pilot - they do it for a living.

 

Take care,

Jb

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Thanks jb, that means alot >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

Two of my friends are now planning to fly me off somewhere for my 40th in November as they can't believe I'm actually going to get on a plane in October......so, fingers crossed I will conquer my phobia.

 

I can't imagine I'll ever enjoy flying again, but I hope it's bearable :tearful:

 

I've stopped watching Air Crash Investigation :shame::wacko:

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Just got a call from my mum :wub: asking for all the kiddies dates of birth..... :unsure: DH gave her them, and then asked why......... :blink: she admitted she was in the travel agent and had booked us all a holiday for the October half term :o:wub: on a flight :o:o to a villa in Spain :o:blink:

Oops. Guess you're going to have to do it now BP :hypno:

 

I did come across something that might be of some use. Amazon have a book called 'Flying Without Fear' written by an actual pilot and he goes through a lot of the questions and 'worries' that people have. Might be worth a read. Click me

 

That said, you'll be fine. If you can meet a bunch of loony-tune strangers in Newcastle then flying will be a doddle :dance:

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Thanks TN :D>:D<<'> No going back now, and TBH, probably the best way :D Went over to my mums last night to drop eldest dd off, and the villa is in Nerja, near Malaga airport. We are flying from Newcastle. Villa looks gorgeous :wub::wub: Mum has even offered to have the kiddies for some of the time while we are out there (mum and her partner are coming too) so DH and I can have some time together :D She's brave...theres a strong possibility DH and I will do a runner :lol::lol:

Edited by Bagpuss

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Is the point that there take the kids almost enough to make you face anything? I hope it is as that way you can dwell on the positive more than your worries about what you have to do to get there. Try to dwell on the good parts of it rather than what you are worried about. Got to dash, just been called for food.

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Thanks David :D

 

One of my friends has offered very wise advice.......check the age of the pilot :huh: Apparantly it calms her down..... :blink::lol:

 

Not sure if she feels a younger/older pilot would be better :whistle::wacko::unsure:

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Guest flutter

well i did it with dd this weekend

she was bit stresed on way up to the north

and great on way down towards home, she really enjoyed it,

but we sat exactly where she wanted, i was mean mum on way up we sat on engine and all she saw was lost!!!!!

( i had done it all by myslef last year, that was scary lol)

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Thanks flutter >:D<<'>

 

Just found out the flights are going to be evening flying out, and at night coming back.....now that scares me even more :tearful: The thought of being up in a plane, in black skies :crying:

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I'm sure you'll be fine once up there. Good luck though. Don't worry about it yet though. It is a long while hence yet. You have to worry about meeting me first in Newcastle. ;)

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I think I've posted on here before about my fear of flying Not helped by my addiction to Air Crash Investigation

 

Yes I have an unhealthy addiction to this brilliant programme, it is never on channel 5 anymore! TUT!

 

In order to combat my fear of turbulence, I take bach rescue remedy (an extract from flower petals in a grape solution) available from boots in a yellow bottle. It works brilliantly, you spray it twice on the tongue and it works from about 15mins later. I use it most days of the week in the mornings to combat anxiety.

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