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Alexandra

telling lies

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M has been caught out in a lie,

 

not a little lie but a whopper,

 

he has ADHD and HFA, i know children with ADHD lie,

 

but do children with autism, he is rigid in rules eg. pc games, dvd's

 

he will only watch or play games that are in his age bracket,

 

I believed that autistic children didn't lie or didn't lie well.

 

so now i'm confused, has anyone else had this with their children, any advice please xxx

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My lad never, EVER lies, even if he's done something wrong. The other week we were at his cousin's house (he is really scared of his cousin, and they don't get on at all). Jay ran a remote control car into something and it got broken, cousin's mum went mental at cousin and he was getting a good telling off, Jay pipes up immediately saying actually it was him, it wasn't his cousin at all, etc., you get the picture. :dance::lol: He is extremely honest and will never lie. He did actually experiment with telling an untruth once (JUST THE ONCE), I asked him if he was lying and he immediately said yes, and has never done it since! :lol::lol:

 

~ Mel ~

Edited by oxgirl

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My As son tells short lived lies.....................

 

Ie he will say something untrue and less than five minutes later will say mum and tell the truth..........

 

he also cannot keep a secret for life or money so its no good saying dont tell yer dad or sister ect coz he just burst out of himself till hes told...........

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el will tell lies if she thinks she is in trouble but she is such a rubbish liar that you only have to squint at her and she breaks.....but dont be following a check list of what AS peeps will or wont do, dont forget they have personalities too chic! :rolleyes:

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My son is HFA and i also belived they didnt lie but i have noticed my son will oftern say his brother has done something when it was him so i was quite surprised at first :o but i cant think if he has told a huge lie but then again hes still only 6 :lol::lol: still time i suppose.

Brooke

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My son will lie, not often and not well but he is capable of it!

 

Also there are times where he swears something happened and it didn't (or happened a different way) but he thinks he's telling the truth even if it actually isn't. More him misinterpreting the event or situation.

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My AS son never lies and hates it when other people do, but his perception of the truth is sometimes way out of line! For example if he is feeling overcrowded he will shout "stop pushing me" at someone who has lightly brushed past him. It can be very embarrassing but he believes it to be true as he is hypersensitive to touch. I know someone with ADHD and she is a prolific liar but they are not malicious or spiteful lies. I think they are a product of a very active imagination (whereas my son has a very poor imagination) and she is very good at writing stories in school. Often she will get carried away with a lie till she reaches the point that she believes it to be true.

 

I think it is quite common for people with ADHD to be story tellers whilst Asperger people find it hard to be untruthful - even if it would be better to tell a white lie.

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Ben couldn't lie if his life depended on it!!!! Although there have been times in the past when I wish he would....Like when he answered the phone and told the caller that they'd better not speak to me because he'd heard me say earlier 'If anyone else rings up I'm going to ring their neck', then he hung up :o:lol: (I was in the middle of watching Morse )... I had to ring the person back and explain... luckily they found it very funny... Bill on the other hand lies frequently but is absolutely rubbish at it... always little white lies though nothing major.

 

Flora

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People on the spectrum generally make bad liars, but once they get their heads round the 'concept' of lying (i.e. that they can say something that isn't true without people automatically knowing it's not true) they are capable of it... It's not something that'll sit comfortably with them if their black/white 'moral code' precludes it...

 

My son tells ourageous and patently obvious fibs and then says 'That's a joke!' (yeah, like, 'cos i'd really swallowed that one!), but I've never known him to tell a 'proper' lie. If he's done something wrong (or accidentally broken something) he'll try to hide the evidence and keep quiet about it, but if discovered he'll 'fess up immediately. Also, if he remembers, he'll usually tell me a day or so later, 'cos it plays on his conscience if he's not honest about stuff.

 

That said, he's only 9, and his 'skills' will improve, undoubtedly... I doubt, though it'll ever reach the point where it becomes easy for him either to do so with conviction or without feeling guilt about it.

 

L&P

 

BD :D

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A can lie but he's as see through as a sheet of glass, so never gets away with it. He also has this odd thing where he will do something and swear blind that he didn't(even if he's been seen by me or another adult) and he will get into a temper tantrum over it because no one believes him!!

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have spoken to m's teacher as this happened in school,

 

he lied about being bullied by 5 boys,

 

of course I went in and spoke to his teacher,who in turn

 

asked questions only to find out it was a lie.

 

This lie had obviously played on his consiense as he felt

 

sick last night and couldn't sleep,

 

His teacher said that the class had had a funny week,

 

with supply teacher and a student teacherand a few noisy lessons, plus the whole class are going

 

on a residential trip M isn't going (his choice), and maybe he wasn't coping with

 

all the change, so she thinks it was a cry for help, as in if he was being bullied Mum

 

wouldn't send him to school...

 

Don't know if this is right or not what do you all think, was it that he couldn't find the words to tell

 

us he wasn't handling school....

 

really don' tknow xxx

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Because I have no idea what actually happened as you have not stated this I can only guess at what maybe have happened.

 

If my son is stressed or having a bad day and someone touches him as they walk past he will accuse them of assaulting him. At that moment in time he will 100% believe that he has been assaulted and would argue that point with anyone. However later when he has calmed down he will see that he over reacted and at that time the touch felt like an assault does that make him a liar?

 

Autism is all about perceptions and our children often have an altered perception but that does not make them liars. I know an adult with autism who dreamt something that was so real to her that she truly believed that it had happened, and called the Police because she believed that she had been violated. It took a great deal of time and intervention from professionals before the facts were uncovered. Was this lady lying?

 

Did your son feel ill because once he had calmed down he realised that maybe events were not quite how he had perceived them when they happened. I do not know and so this is only guess work. But it does sound like he is having a bad week and I would be tempted not to jump to conclusions that he was lying just to get out of something.

 

Cat

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I agree with Cat, Alexandra, it could well be that he perceived that he was, in fact, bullied because of a minor incident or a few words said to him or something and that he saw this as bullying and not that he intentionally 'lied'. My son often thinks that people are being 'mean' to him, when really they are not. Likewise, he doesn't always realize when people ARE in fact being mean to him, it goes over his head, so if your lad's version is a bit skewed it could be that he really did FEEL bullied, even if it was unintentional.

 

~ Mel ~

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I have read of a subtype of ASD called Pathological Demand Avoidance that is very prone to lying (several actually), but I think on the whole most kids with an ASD who do lie tend to do so quite clumsily, e.g. it is a blatant lie or it is an exaggeration of something they read or saw but often so exaggerated that it's again obvious they are not telling the truth.

 

I have over time learned to use little lies & white lies but I only ever use them when I either know that the truth would be too hurtful or when I do not have the means to express the truth (or when telling the whole truth would put me in a position where I'd get put on the spot and have to explain myself).

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Mine does lie but badly.

 

The thing is I have experienced a similiar thing in that my son said everyone at school was bullying him and the school said no-one was. I don't think it was a lie as such, just that his perception of the social world around him is different. He's very sensitive to pain and things and so if anyone accidentally slightly bumped him he interpreted it as someone trying to kill him.

 

Hope you get to the bottom of it.

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Hi

 

My son does lie on occasions, so it's back to the old thing about an ASD can't possibly tick every box on list of traits.

 

C.

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el will tell lies if she thinks she is in trouble but she is such a rubbish liar that you only have to squint at her and she breaks.....but dont be following a check list of what AS peeps will or wont do, dont forget they have personalities too chic! :rolleyes:

 

 

Hi

 

My son does lie on occasions, so it's back to the old thing about an ASD can't possibly tick every box on list of traits.

 

C.

 

 

Agree with both you....C is exactely the same! He say he lied because he didn't want to get into trouble...

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Hi,

 

Kai is 8 and he doesn't lie. Last week he asked me why people told lies and we had a big discussion about it. He said some of the boys in his class tell lies, but he doesn't . I told him that it was a really good thing that he was honest as the teacher always knows he is telling the truth.

 

He sat and thought about it for a while then said to me that children who lied could get away with being naughty, so he thinks he'll give lying a try :wallbash: !

 

Loulou xx

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my steven lies very convincinly about things what happen and me and him will have a big old chat about it and later on i will find out its a lie :crying:

 

when my mum and dad went on holiday steve said my sis had phoned cos dad stormed off,he said my mum was crying about it and they didnt know what to do,pack of lies :o what the point of them is i dont know,i think its things what he would like to happen!!

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