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Bambi

I cant believe what i have just found out!

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Hi guys

 

Well as u know i have been thru the mill in regards with getting help for T and today is bad as T is progressively getting worse, when the police came and were shocked at Ts behaviour they made it known to social services about our situation and they told me that if i have not heard anything a week after their visit to call them (police) back. Well as u can expect i heard nothing and when i called DC ***** back she informed me that SS have offered me help and i refused it! what a load of s***!!!! also they said that school say 'he was fine at school' and they were blind when they came to my home from concerns made to Child Protection by the EWO and his class teacher (they visited us and didnt see T as he refused to see them and stayed in his room).

 

So today i have been on the fone to everyone u can think of and this is what i found out, i have been allocated a social worker and this was on 22nd February 07, why the hell wasnt i informed of this? and how strange this seems to of happened since the police visit. Also since this social worker being informed of us on 22nd Feb no- one has contacted me or told me anything of what is happening, is this common practice? I am in shock at the dissrespectfulness of the whole situation also this social worker has got 2 other very serious cases to deal with and she will be contacting me when she can (hence why she hasnt even contacted me as yet) if i want to spk to her before she gets round to me then i need to call her on Mon, Tues or Weds of the week as they are the days this lady works. What the hell am i meant to make of this situation? i informed the lady at social services ( i have her name for my records) that the police informed me that social services informed them that they offered me help and i refused, she was lost with this and denied any knowledge of police involvement, well if they were not aware of police involvement then why did i get allocated a social worker AFTER a police visit to my home and why the hell have i not been told of this? and where did the allocation of a social worker come from in the first place if nothing to do with the police visit? I am f****** fuming!!!!!! When i asked the lady for details (i was making notes while on fone) she was asking me why it was important! i told her strait its for my notes and i dont appreciate not being told of being allocated a social worker cheeky c**!!!!!!!

 

What the hell do i do with this? i had to find all this out by myself today and i cant believe what is going on here, the social services lady said u need to get T back into school! FFS are these idiots not listening to me or taking any notice of Ts problems and at the end of the call i informed her that i am scared of my son and i get attacked all day each and every day, she asked how old T was i said 6 she said 'oh i thought he was an older child'. i am slowly going to lose the plot with these people coz i cant take their s*** no longer.

 

I had a phone call from our local paper and they are coming to my home on Tuesday to do an interview and take pics as they are very keen for my story after i emailed them last night telling them what my life is like and how T is being left to rot.

 

Any advice with how to deal with the social services ###### would be much appreciated please, will have all this documentated by the end of the weekend.

 

Bambi x

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Bambi,

Blime me, what a ###### up someone (SS or the Police) are not telling you the full story. I can see how frustrated and mad you are and don't blame you one bit. You are doing the right thing by keeping notes and documenting it. It just makes me so angry that we have to go all through all this unnecessary s*** with the authorities when we already have enough to deal with.

>:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Clare x

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Hi guys

 

Well as u know i have been thru the mill in regards with getting help for T and today is bad as T is progressively getting worse, when the police came and were shocked at Ts behaviour they made it known to social services about our situation and they told me that if i have not heard anything a week after their visit to call them (police) back. Well as u can expect i heard nothing and when i called DC ***** back she informed me that SS have offered me help and i refused it! what a load of s***!!!! also they said that school say 'he was fine at school' and they were blind when they came to my home from concerns made to Child Protection by the EWO and his class teacher (they visited us and didnt see T as he refused to see them and stayed in his room).

 

So today i have been on the fone to everyone u can think of and this is what i found out, i have been allocated a social worker and this was on 22nd February 07, why the hell wasnt i informed of this? and how strange this seems to of happened since the police visit. Also since this social worker being informed of us on 22nd Feb no- one has contacted me or told me anything of what is happening, is this common practice? I am in shock at the dissrespectfulness of the whole situation also this social worker has got 2 other very serious cases to deal with and she will be contacting me when she can (hence why she hasnt even contacted me as yet) if i want to spk to her before she gets round to me then i need to call her on Mon, Tues or Weds of the week as they are the days this lady works. What the hell am i meant to make of this situation? i informed the lady at social services ( i have her name for my records) that the police informed me that social services informed them that they offered me help and i refused, she was lost with this and denied any knowledge of police involvement, well if they were not aware of police involvement then why did i get allocated a social worker AFTER a police visit to my home and why the hell have i not been told of this? and where did the allocation of a social worker come from in the first place if nothing to do with the police visit? I am f****** fuming!!!!!! When i asked the lady for details (i was making notes while on fone) she was asking me why it was important! i told her strait its for my notes and i dont appreciate not being told of being allocated a social worker cheeky c**!!!!!!!

 

What the hell do i do with this? i had to find all this out by myself today and i cant believe what is going on here, the social services lady said u need to get T back into school! FFS are these idiots not listening to me or taking any notice of Ts problems and at the end of the call i informed her that i am scared of my son and i get attacked all day each and every day, she asked how old T was i said 6 she said 'oh i thought he was an older child'. i am slowly going to lose the plot with these people coz i cant take their s*** no longer.

 

I had a phone call from our local paper and they are coming to my home on Tuesday to do an interview and take pics as they are very keen for my story after i emailed them last night telling them what my life is like and how T is being left to rot.

 

Any advice with how to deal with the social services ###### would be much appreciated please, will have all this documentated by the end of the weekend.

 

Bambi x

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sorry bambi,my quotes gone wrong again!!good on you for getting the local paper out,you are right they do leave our kids to rot,they deny we phoned them,never in their offices and its our kids who suffer whilst they are sitting in their cosy little offices while us and our kids are at breaking point,you keep fighting them

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>:D<<'> >:D<<'>

Hi Bambi feel for you, I really do. My autistic ds (nearly 6) also attacks me ona frequent basis, just posted about it actually. SS are useless in many cases I'm afraid. I've often thought the only way to sort it would beto leave my ds at the office and drive away (would never do it but you know what I mean) They are a load of c**p but the reality is they don't care - it's just a job to them and we are just case numbers. You doing all the right things, documenting it and contacting press - they don't like a fuss so this should help. You DONT need the hassle tho and that makes it all so unfair on you

Sending >:D<<'> >:D<<'> to you

Elun xx

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Hi its disgusting how you have been treated by SS and I would recommend a full multi agency meeting where all those involved come together and actually communicate what support is offered, if you where allocated a social worker then you should of been notified by letter.

 

The times the social worker has quoted are unexeptable and she should of explained that if she isnt available to disguss your situation to DUTY OFFICER who will evaluate your need at the time of the call, not leaving you for days to deal with your sons aggression, who seriously needs urgent medical attention and I have to advice if your son is that much of a distressed state where he is a danger to himself I would advice A+E and have an urgent assessment made.

 

I would get the backing from this PC#### to express their own descriptions of todays situation with your son, and the answer that the socail worker gave where she thought that your son was older goes to show she has no idea of your son, and wonder if she should be referring your son to the disabilty team rather than the family team.

 

I would write a very strong complaint and explain about you not been notified of the allocation from ss.

 

To the chief executive of the families and childrens team of your area.

 

What is clear here though is this isnt treated properly and cared for by your areas ss department.

 

Your not failing just the whole entire services that are suppose to be supporting you, sounds like the poilice where trying to support you and your son.

 

If at anytime you are really in need of support from the SS there is duty officers, so there isnt just the allocated sw there is a whole team available and how busy she is with other cases isnt an excuse to dismiss your sons needs.

 

A service that may be able to help you more is NHSDIRECT and PALS as the service of social services is very dismissive of your sons needs, who will need specialist support, and proper trained handling, for when he is self harming or harming you.

 

another great service is youngminds, they may know more of the exceptable standards that the SS departments duties and responsibilties as now they have your son on their case notes they are now responsible for him no matter how busy they are.

 

Disgusting, and many have had this situation with SOCIAL SERVICES!!!!!

 

Could you also notify the assessment centre that you had your son diagnosed as they may have some reinforcement or contribute to a request of support in your sons needs.

 

JsMum

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Hi Bambi,

 

As someone who has beaten my head against the brick wall of SS when I was in crisis, I fully sympathise. :wacko: I hope you manage to get to the bottom of what's going on here.

 

I don't have any specific advice to add, just sending. >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

K x

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Thanx guys ur replies have helped me no end and i have just written my letter of complaint thanx JsMum for the push i knew i would have to but i did it with u saying, now i have to find out who to send it to which i will do first thing monday morn :thumbs:

 

I cant and i wont take this s*** anymore and i will certainly tell the press this when they come on Tuesday, my son's mental health is going downhill very fast due to their ignorance but they cant ignore what will be printed! all i have ever wanted is what T needs and to see him in the state he is in is heartbreaking to say the least.

 

U have really helped me in my time of need and i will forever be grateful of that :thumbs:

 

Bambi x

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Good on you girl keep the fight going you and your son deserve to be treated with respect. Good luck for Tuesday and don't forget to take a copy of the letter you have just done, it might be worth putting on it a date when you expect them to reply by there must be a set code of practise with a time scale for response and you certainly want to know they have actually received your letter !

Just noted the time of your post 3am !!!! my goodness hope you get chance to get some sleep before the kids get up.

Take care

Clare x >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Good luck with this Bambi. If I were you, I'd send copies of the letter to everyone you can think of and add a list of the people copied in at the bottom of the letter so that everyone else can see who has received it and no-one can deny anything.

 

Best of luck. >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

 

~ Mel ~

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Good luck Bambi,

Please make sure you keep a record of dates, times and people you have spoken to. I have been complaining to my ss department for almost a year and have been virtually ignored. In a moment of fury I wrote to the local Government Ombudsman which has made the council sit up and take notice. It sometimes feels as though we live in a third world country, not the third richest.

Good luck with the press on Tuesday, I think its the best way to name,shame and hopefully be taken notice of.

Loraine xx

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Good luck to you Bambi.

 

I am currently wrangling with SS too. My son attacks me physically with knives, scissors etc and constantly says he wants to kill himself. But ...... We don't fit the criteria for any department as my son with a long list of disnosis isn't classed as disabled by them! I put in a stage 1 compliant which I copied to my local MP, all my local councillors and the heads of departments saying I was going to contact the Disability Rights Commission and the media. My MP has taken up the case as has the Chief exec of Childrens Services.

 

After the MP contacted them and they refused to give her any information, they sent someone round from the CDT who still says we don't qualify for help. They feel they have dealt with my stage 1 complaint so I am now in the process of writing my stage 2 complaint letter and back up evidence.

 

SS are appalling. Even My MP is outraged by their attitude. She has even gone as far as saying that if she finds their criteria are set too strictly, she will challenge it in Parliament!

 

I wish you every luck in this. Make sure you make notes of everyone's names, dates and what's said. Stick to your guns, you owe it to yourself and your family >:D<<'> >:D<<'>

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Ok well we have been to the appointment and from start to finish it was hell, T didnt want to leave the house of course and was being violent and verbal about the fact.

 

Decided on a taxi there and back (cost me �40 in total!) as T is not coping with peoples actions and smells on public transport and when in the taxi he started to lose it about the seat belt being tight! We get there and he runs off when entering the hospital everyone is looking and T is being T!

 

I literally have to drag him into the childrens dept /ward and he is off like a bull at a red rag! I suffer bites, kicks and punches all the usual and all the staff do is watch! so i scream out what do i do?! then he escaped once i managed to get him in there so off i go running after him, i manage to get a hold and bring him back (being attacked by at the same time).

 

Dr S (Ts Paed) then comes out and tries to distract T but he is not having none of it and T is totally in major meltdown mode, more bites, kicks and punches demanding i dont talk or even breath! So u think it cant get any worse? well it did! T started on the staff with lots of verball, he started to throw objects in the waiting room all around the waiting room! (no patients waiting thank god!) then he lost it at Dr S that poor man he took alot of kicks to his shin from T and i know only too well that it hurts lots!

 

Dr S is in between checking on Ts state in the waiting area and on the fone to people who should be helping us, social services who have assigned me a worker without my knowledge and suprise suprise she isnt there! then he tries the head of special needs in LEA not there! then he calls a Professor in field medication for an opinion on med to calm children down who lose the plot like T and between them they decide on Risperidone medication for T as he needs calming to stop him being a danger to himself and others, ur telling me!

 

I was in tears for the whole hour of the appointment and very sore from the physical attacks, boy does T hurt and i see he loses control of his state of mind, my poor baby.

 

We tried to get his heart checked on the heart machine but he wouldnt have it he was hiding and refusing point blank, we knew he would but hey anything is worth a try.

 

So now i have a medication to try and calm him so we can survive day to day living without anyones safety being in danger, we hope! The med may work it may not trial & error like with most things when it comes to our kids.

 

Dr S is very concerned that the team of support is not set up yet and he has rung everyone he can think of to get it set up asap but no one is about and it seems very slow in being set up when we are a family in urgent need, he is not best pleased!

 

After the appointment T was his usual self throwing himself on the floor and lots of people looking, i must make some cards to give out when i get them stares its doing my head in!

 

Bambi x

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Hi

 

It should never be as hard as it is to get help and support, but it is. I know a lot of people on this forum will agree that they've had to fight tooth and nail to get a diagnosis, help, etc.

 

Sounds like social services don't communicate between themselves. I know that SS tend to have a bad reputation and in this case it seems justified. However, when I was first advised that we were getting a social worker, I was really anxious and suspicious about it. Our social worker has turned out to be a godsend. I guess I'm saying that they're not all bad. See what happens, you never know ...

 

With regard to your local paper interview, I'd tread very cautiously. Reports don't always print what you say - they print what they think they see and they get it wrong sometimes. In addition, whilst you're desperate to get some support, you may end up rubbing a few people up the wrong way. If you go ahead with it, please be very careful not to mention names and be general ie approach the feature by highlighting how difficult it is for families of ASD children to get support. But do keep it general.

 

Best wishes. You're gutsy and a fighter (she who shouts the loudest and all that) and I'm sure you'll get support soon for the son that you so obviously care so much about.

 

Caroline.

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>:D<<'> Sorry you had such a bad time of it, hopefully T's paediatrician will be able to pull some strings and get a support package in place for you asap. I hope the risperidone helps. How are you today? I think it is awful that, imo, so many families and children seem to need to reach breaking point before help is given. Take care.

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OMG you must be completely exhausted! Really hope the meds help, then at least it will make assessing T easier. Hope the support starts to develop too!

 

A x

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Sorry you had such a bad day. My son sounds very similar to T and is now also on risperidone. It has been a life saver! He now sleeps and is so much calmer and happier. He is like a different child. On his behaviour chart at home today he got all stars (stars = good spots = bad) and even got a special gold star as he had been so good this morning. He's only on 0.5mg at night but it's been nothing short of a miracle to us.

 

I hope the meds have a similar effect for T an dthings start to be a bit calmer.

 

Hugs Sam xxx

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Bambi i read your post and it brought tears to my eyes to hear what a tough time your having at the moment, i hope your pead can start things moving to get you support much more quickly.

Sounds like you're doing a fab job, i find it hard whenn dd behaves this way, i know what you mean about the stares i'm seriously considering cards!

I think you deserve loads of >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> >:D<<'> , hang in there were all here to offer support xx

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