T has been in hospital

[Bambi]

Hi guys

 

Well i have had a hell of a time, trying to get what is needed for my son seems VERY hard and to have to end up taking T into hospital due to him being a danger to himself and others.

 

I tried my damned hardest to get T medical help but it seems very hard to get it for kids under the age of 13 and even privately, everywhere we rung either didnt take kids or only had kids over the age of 13, that goes to show u that Ts probs are far more severe than people realised and the failings have only damaged him more.

 

When we arrived at the hospital on Friday tea time i think the medical staff were shocked about T but under the instruction of our GP we had to take him there with the state he was in, as usual T was being very controlling and losing the plot with everyone that day because they were not doing what he wanted it was heartbreaking to see my baby in such a mess.

 

The registrar on duty when we arrived asked if T had ever seen a psychiatrist and i said no but i did ask for one when T was under the local mental health team and it never happened, then after midnight another resgistrar came on duty and she came to see us, again she said to me T needs to see a psychiatrist which i agreed that he does, trying to get a private psychiatrist for a child his age proved impossible.

 

It was decided on Friday evening that we would be in hospital for the weekend and come monday they would suggest a psychiatrist be informed about T and he was, we saw him yestaday afternoon. We spoke about T from birth and about our family background, he said as i may know ASDs can be genetic so he he wanted to know about our family background for that reason and anyone who may suffer with mental health problems. Thats when i informed him that my dad didnt speak until he was 8, that he cannot write and that he has been on anti-depressants for years now and also the medical background of myself that required a brain & chest scan along with the possibility of me being examined for petit mal (fits).

 

After our discussion he wanted to go see T obviously without me and after that we met again to discuss his next step, he made it clear to me that T needed his intervention and that i need help with managing Ts difficult behaviour. I think he was shocked at T being so many different people daily and rarely himself along with how T reacts so bad to so many minor things in his daily life, all of which i have been stressing to the powers that be for many years!

 

The psychiatrist has stated that he would like T to to be seen as an out patient and on a regular basis, i will recieve an appointment for him at some point this month and all this only came about because of the state my T is now in and having to take him to hospital like that, why is it like this for us and how damaging the system is in many ways for our children. T has told kids at school and my neighbour that he will get a knife and chop their head off!! told his dad to drive into a wall while in his car with him one day and tried to throw himself in front of a car because 'he wanted to know what it feels like' while laughing about it, all this kind of talk i have made professionals VERY aware of and anyone in their right mind would know that kind of talk is not what a 5 yr old should be saying but as usual with useless professionals its not of their concern nor important to them.

 

Ts SW came to the hospital this afternoon and i got my bro in-law to come as i didnt want anymore intimidation and i again told them look at what has happened now and AGAIN due to their failings things are this bad, all she could do was look at me and say this isnt a quick fix, i ###### know that! All this could of been prevented if they had done their job 2 yrs ago when they had a detailed report from down south stating clearly WE ARE A FAMILY IN NEED and with my own concerns that i repeatedly made to them about Ts needs! again all i got were looks from her and i told her straight i wont shut up and accept what has happened, i am very angry and it doesnt end here not by a ###### long shot. She advised me she had spoke with her manager that they would agree to go ahead with a sessional worker and what did i want a man or woman, well i said a man as he will probably feed Ts needs more by being able to play footy and do typical boys stuff with him, i think T would accept a sessional worker better if they cater for his needs and more on his wavelength, i hope! I was then asked how often once or twice a week? i said twice a week at least, if T has to build trust in someone then they need to be there pretty regular.

 

SW is coming again in the morn to continue the core assesssment details and she reckons they may be able to sort respite out for T, i believe it when i see it! not holding my breath tho ive gone well and truly past that as i dont have no faith with these people anymore, all they have done is let my son & me rot without a care in the world until his safety is a VERY serious issue, not good enough.

 

Ts Paed has now advised that we up his Risperidone med to 0.3 twice a day and we will discuss how things are in a week, told the SW i am not happy my son is on such medication but its due to professionals failing him for all these years that this is the state of him and thats why i am VERY angry at their treatment of us and Ts needs as all this could of been prevented.

 

I was advised by staff at the hospital that T being in social services care is better if i cant cope with Ts difficulties and worried about his safety, what a ###### joke! how can that be better for T? So what he wont be like it in care then? and what the hell would that do to his mental health with the state its already in?! I said no way am i giving my son to strangers! I told them i will do what i have been doing and i am very concerned about his safety and no-one knows him like me & his family to be able to deal with him. I have heard a few parents say on forums their child has been into hospital due to simialr situations and i cant remember much about it, does anyone know much about having a child hospitalised? i will hunt around to find posts i have read in the past.

 

I am absolutely worn out and my head is pounding like it has been for many days now, is nice to be home but i still fear each and everyday because the state T gets in is VERY scarery for him and for other people including myself, his role playing is rife he was a few new people while we were in hospital, names i have never heard him use before like Tim and when the registrar asked him his name on Friday night he told her its David!! T has been 4 people in the space of one morning while in hospital and boy did i know about it if i called him T, i wont ever play down Ts problems because they worry me a great deal and i know he has very complex problems in a lot of areas and yet it seems of no concern to anyone but those who love and care for him.

 

Bambi x

[Kathryn]

Bambi,

 

Can't imagine how stressful the last few days must have been - I hope you manage to grab some rest now.

 

Why do things have to reach such a crisis point before anyone does anything? I hope now with the psych on board your son will start to get the kind of help you should have had a long time ago. Hope SS get their act together and come up with a plan for respite, sooner rather than later.

 

Well done for fighting your corner - you sound like a great mum. <'>

 

K x

[Clare63]

Bambi,

 

My heart goes out to you and your son, its absoultely appaulling how you have been treated and you have done brilliantly fighting for help. I can not begin to imagine how exhausting, frustrating, stressful and scary this must be for you. I wish there was something I could do to help. Why of why does it have to get to crisis point before anyone actually sits up and starts doing something.

You are a very special and amazing Mother, never forget that.

Clare x <'> <'> <'>

[ellisisamazing]

Bambi, I don't know what to say really, except I will be thinking of you and T. <'>

 

Reading that post is difficult, living it must be a nightmare. Good Luck to you all.

 

 

Lisa xx

[baddad]

Hi bambi -

 

Nothing to offer except to echo the sentiments of others...

very VERY best

I hope you can access some real support for all concerned soon.

L&P

BD

[hev]

bambi <'> <'> i wish i knew what to say,hopefullyno will et the help he needs and deserves,it must be so destressing to see t go through this,stay strong,am thinking of you love hev xx

[Bambi]

Awww thanks guys for your very kind words and support, i try my best in every way possible and thats all we all can do is our best.

 

Bambi x

[smiley]

Bambi <'>

 

Just to let you know i'm thinking of you <'>

 

Your an amazing mum - why it has to get to this point is beyond me

 

I truly hope things start to get sorted for you and your son <'>

[peppa]

for you and T, hope things improve for you soon, xx

[Bagpuss]

Bambi <'> <'> <'> Take care x

[butterfingersbimbo]

aw chic, <'> <'> <'> to you and T i hope they give you some help now, its terrible that it comes to this before they listen!

[lilibet]

have had a dreadful afternoon with my son, but no way as bad as you're dealing with. Can only offer lots of cyber (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

))

bw

Elizabeth

[elun1]

<'> <'> Bambi <'> <'>

[David Matthew Baker]

I hope things improve soon. Thinking of you. <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[hev]

hope things have been ok today bambi <'> <'>

[bid]

Sorry I'm so late to this, Bambi, but I do hope you all get the help and support you need as soon as possible <'>

 

Bid

[loupin]

I am late to this post..sorry havent been on for a while...do you have a local child and adolescent psyc inpatient facility near you? I couldn't work out if you took your boy into a general paed ward or psych? We aren't far from Birmingham where they have an excelent inpatient unit in the main childrens hospital. There is also an excellent child psychiatrist in the priory here who helped us a lot.

Obviously you are really sick of social services have you got a sure start team near you i may be wrong but they might be able to send home start round to help you and support you.

i really feel for you its so heartbreaking to see our lovely babes suffer like this <'> <'>