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CEJesson

Going to University

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Hello everyone, I am glad Ive found this forum, it seems an ideal place to get impartial advice.

 

Last year I applied to do a masters in town and country planning at Sheffield, Oxford Brookes, Manchester, Newcastle, Cardiff and UCL London universities. After receiving 4 offers back, I opted to accept sheffield as my 1st choice and Oxford Brookes as my insurance.

 

I have always had a passion for geography, especially the urban side, since childhood, right from drawing large scale 2D plans of towns similar to AA maps. I always feel a buzz when I think about doing what I have wanted to pursue for ages. However, at the back of my mind creeps in the constant worry whether I will be able to cope with the university environment. I am still easily harmed by loud noise and obstruction of personal space. I am sociable now, but am worried I will be classed as an 'old fart' for not drinking all the time and going clubbing as it is far too rowdy. I have no doubts about friendships - I am sure I'll make them, even a relationship would be a lovely bonus (yes please!) but I wish to be accommodated in somewhere like a lodging with an elderly/adult couple or in my own studio where I can live independently and not have the halls of residence dreariness. I feel I would be easily unsettled there and wouldnt be able to get out easily.

 

I have considered not going to university, but it isnt really a preference, but having a desire to pursue an interest is one thing, having the mental capability to do it is another. I have worked hard for it, done lots of revision this year after a slacker 1st year in this respect, but its just whether I have the capacity to cope with the stresses/lows which will probably be much more severe.

 

Shall I wise up and try and plan out and see how I could be supported? I am applying for DSA with my finance.

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Wow it all sounds very exciting and how wonderful to have the opportunity to study your passion. I think you have answered your own question in your post, you have worked so hard for it and as you say you are sociable now and can make friends. I don't though doubt your fears, I think going to uni is generally a scary prospect but with careful planning and research I am sure you will be able to find digs to suit your needs. This could be the best decision you ever make and there's always that chance of a relationship :wub: Go for it. I am sure loads of people here will have loads of advice and ideas. Good luck and keep us posted.

Clare x >:D<<'>

 

PS not all people who go to uni are loud rowdy drunks, my friends daughter is a lovely sweet shy girl who drinks lemonaide, though I have heard she is now partial to the odd pint of guiness !!!! she is in London studying her passion - History...... shame I could have introduced you !

Edited by Clare63

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Hi Chris,

 

Ok, not so sure about impartial, but I'll give you my opinion for what it's worth. I also have a diagnosis of Asperger's and dyspraxia (and alexithymia just to make it a bit more interesting! :lol::wacko: ). However, unlike you I was only diagnosed earlier this year. So I went through education without support, undergraduate degree without formal support, one masters without formal support (but with brilliant staff who did support me greatly), another masters during which time I was going through the adult diagnostic process and was given informal support as if I was AS by the two staff members who knew, and now doing my PhD with support currently being put in place and fantastic support from my supervisor. So I'm in effect in my 6th year of university, so have quite a bit of experience to draw on!!!

 

I assume by your age that when you say masters you mean one of the newer undergraduate masters courses? My sister is in her first year of one of these, and from my point of view it is definately (at least at this early stage) 'undergraduate' - i.e. you couldn't draw parallels between the levels of work required for her degree and for my actual masters - which is, I think, how it should be - masters should go beyond, specialise more and expect more from its students.

 

Now undergraduate study and undergraduate university life is very different from postgraduate. I really enjoyed my undergraduate degree work wise, but I struggled socially (I had no diagnosis at this point), I was bullied, and I had a terrible time with accommodation. The senior tutor was involved with my case because I was on the verge of failing on my professional development, despite being top (with a big gap) on the academic side in my year. I had to agree to attend counselling because I must have had 'issues' :wallbash: in order to pass my course. So I went and said nothing - I had still 'attended' which was all I agreed to. :devil: I don't want to make it sound too bad though - in comparison to school, I was much happier, and I was enjoying my education.

 

My postgraduate experience (at a much more 'academic' university) has been very different. I loved it almost from the first week. My intention had been to take a year out of work where I wasn't coping socially to give myself space to think about what I wanted. 3 years later I am still here because I feel I have finally found a place where I 'belong', where my 'way' is tolerated and where it is ok to obsess about my study. I'm not looked at strangely (generally) by the academics either if I get excited by what I'm doing and walk around flapping my hands, or equally if I struggle with some aspects of communication - particularly now where a lot of my course is one to one - I feel completely accepted by my supervisor for who I am - and because I feel accepted, my 'symptoms' appear less severe. Now this highly positive picture doesn't mean it has all been/is easy. I was singled out by one student and her accomplice during my first year and bullied repeatedly (but very subtelly) by her, and this continued into the second year before another student who witnessed it actually made a complaint and it was then deal with seriously and appropriately. My biggest non-academic problems have been around accomodation.

 

As a UK postgraduate student, I wasn't allowed halls accomodation and had to house-share through the university lists (I couldn't afford to live by myself in London). I moved into a house with another girl and a boy. It went ok to start with, then my landlady also moved in. I couldn't get on with her or communicate my difficulties with her (things that seen insignificant to NTs like moving things of mine etc, noise at night, music . . .). Anyway, it got really bad and then she decided she wanted me to leave without any notice. Her way of making me leave was to punch me and throw me down the stairs. Somehow, I got from there to the university (the only place where I knew people) - one of my lecturers found me slumped in a chair holding my arm in place and sent me off to hospital and whilst I was being put back together and they organised emergency accomodation in halls, but only for the weekend. However, I still wasn't eligable for halls, so had to find a new flat-share through the lists. This time I lodged with a family rather than stay with students - again, started ok, but quickly went very bad - the landlady's sons who lived at the property both took drugs regularly and where often not entirely sure what planet they were on. They played music very loudly, held parties, I had my room trashed, my bike stolen, and they were verbally abusive - just before I left, I was fearing for my life. I ended up having a huge meltdown in my tutor's office (this was still before I had a diagnosis but was waiting for an appointment), but it was decided, this was impacting on my academic work too much. A meeting was had with the accomodation office and my tutor - and they offered me halls accommodation - my initial reaction was 'no' . . . which brings me onto your post . . .

 

I though halls would be terrible, noisy etc etc. However, I was placed carefully. Although I'm in a hall with 472 students, they've given me a room on a post-grad female corridor right next to the residence office and the porter. There are strict rules about noise, a strict routine for meals, linen changing etc and it really suits me. It is quieter here than in either flat-share. I think what I'm saying is don't rule out halls - all the evidence suggests that halls are good for students with AS. Talk to the disability officer and the accommodation office about options. My hall is an older hall made up of long corridors and there's no communal need to share spaces - there's a large common room and a bar if I wanted to, but I don't (can't cope with noise, lights and movement). Many halls though, particularly the newer ones, would be unsuitable for me - these are designed as appartmnets where 6 - 8 students are grouped together around a communal kitchen. This is more the norm now as it suits many NTs - but I know I wouldn't cope with the social relationships - but that depends on the individual - you sound much more sociable, or at least able to cope with social, than me. It would be worth visiting (you should get priority as a 'disabled' student) and seeing how you feel. If you really don't like that idea, you would probably have to look privately (i.e. not university lists) for lodgings - but be aware of costs. Alternatively, they have in London and might have in other places a scheme I looked into where you could live with an elderly person who needs company and maybe a bit of care - you get your accomodation in exchange for a few hours of your time a week - I know I wouldn't cope with that, but it might be something you're interested in.

 

As you're applying for DSA, you're need a needs assessment (see my post in the DSA pinned thread). It is essential you have this with an AS expert, and I think you can have it any time from the April before you go. It will be important to you to get support in place before you start, particularly to get through those first few difficult weeks.

 

It will be important to find out where the support is and know where you can go for help. Are you looking at Sheffield or Sheffield Hallam? I think Sheffield Hallam have specific AS support so it might be worth looking at this.

 

I realise I have rambled a bit here and might have made things sound terrible - that's not my intention!!!!! For me, university, particularly a more academic university, has been the best experience in my life, it's somewhere I feel accepted and somewhere where I can obsess about my interests without feeling guilty. Yes there are difficulties, but support is available (paticularly with a diagnosis, needs assessment, DSA and awareness amongst staff) to help with these. You'll have to make important decisions about disclosure early on - I'm struggling with this at the moment.

 

I would suggest you think through your options, look at the support that would be available in different places, and visit a few times to see where you will be happy - you're get a 'feel' in the right place and know it's where you should go. I suggest contacting the disability offices of the universities you're interested in and seeing what advice they offer.

 

Hope this ramble is some help,

 

Mumble :)

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Hi Chris

Congratulations on your 4 offers!

I work in a uni library, dont worry about not being a "typical" student, theres no such thing, believe me I serve all human (& other) life forms over the counter, I love the diversity!

 

I would strongly advise you to get in touch with student support or whatever its called at your uni. They can help guide you through the whole process of where best to live etc. If you disclose your disability you may get extra concessions, for instance at my uni theres a lad with AS (dont worry, I only know that because I know his mum, its not written down or anything), theres a message on his library record not to fine him if his books are late back. Now I know thats probably due to his organisational difficulties & anxiety but its just a message on his record and no one thinks twice about it, we just assume theres a good reason for it which is none of our business.

 

Once you get your DSA you may be able to use it to employ a note taker which cuts down the stress of lecturers. J has one at college. May also be worth asking (sorry this is so library focused its what I know) if they have study carrels reserved for disabled students so you can study in peace & quiet without the sound of other peoples computers, phones, illegal eating & other naughty activities taking place around you. (To give you a picture, our uni library was recently voted the second best place to have s*x in (dont know what came first) I once found someone with a disposable barbecue in a study room, but have never caught anyone, ummm, at it thank goodness!

 

I'm sure you will find your niche at uni & enjoy yourself. I look forward to hearing about your progress.

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Hi

 

Have you considered looking at doing Open Uni type courses? This obviously involves being more disciplined at home, but make take away some of the stresses relating to social interaction eg clubbing, etc. This would involve some level of attendance, but you'd have a tutor assigned that you could email or ring up. Best wishes.

 

Caroline.

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Have you contacted 'disability support services' to see what is on offer?

 

They may be able to support you to find the right accomodation for you.

 

Have a look at how the university you have choosen runs its various Hall's before deciding that is not for you. It may help if you give details of things you like and things you dislike and wish NOT to happen to those trying to arrange accomdation in the Halls.

 

I prefered halls (rules) to trying to house share *!* halls were quieter and quiet matters to me.

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Hi, firstly well done on the offers!.I would take the advice of Elouise and talk to someone in disability support services.

 

My son hopes to go to university in 2009 and already I have found them very helpful with advice etc. it does depend on the university how much support is offered to people with disabilities but overall it's usually a pretty good service and will advise on almost anything. Hope this helps . Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Edited by Gus

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